Lexx meets Mario
The Dark Universe: The universe of evil and depravity. It is here that the crew of the Lexx travel to find a new home. It is also the home of the planet of the Mushroom Kingdom.

The Lexx approached the planet. "That planet looks tasty. Can I eat it Stan?" Asked the biological ship. Stan looked at the view screen. "Not yet, we gotta see if it's a good place to live." Kai stood up. "He is right. It may be a good place for Xev and Stan." The robot head, 790, entered the bridge. "Oh, let's ditch them and go down there ourselves, you hunk of a dead body." Stan rolled his eyes. "Let's just go down there." Said Xev. Xev and Stan boarded a moth. "I shall meet you down there." Kai announced. Stanley H. Tweedle flew the moth to the strange planet.

Mario was heading to Peach's castle when he saw a huge bug land near by. "What could-a that-a be?" he said, in a deep, stereotypical Italian accent. The plumber went to investigate. He saw a man with a really stupid looking hat on and a red-haired woman step out of the bug. "This place looks nice. Wonder if there's good men here." Stated the woman. "Looks like a drug-induced hallucination to me." Said the man. Mario jumped into the open and startled the man. "Who the hell are you?!" he said. Mario introduced himself. "I'm-a Mario. Who da hell-a are you-a?" he asked. "My name is Stanley H. Tweedle, Captain of the Lexx, and this is Xev." Xev smiled at Mario and waved. Mario's face turned completely red. Stan spoke. "Any civilization around here? We're lookin' for a good time." Mario led them to Toad Town.

"I think it is time for me to go down there." Announced Kai. "Oh, please come back to me!" said the robot head. "Do not worry. I am already dead." He got on top of the ship, shot out his hook and swung down to the planet. When he landed, he fell through a pipe and fell into a dark area with blue bricks. A flying turtle came at him, but was killed by Kai's weapon. He swung to the top and continued through the place until he reached a room with five pipes. The assassin went through one and ended up in water, with a strange song playing. 'What an unusual planet.' He thought. He saw a boat above the water and swung up to it. On the boat, there was another koopa who was fishing. Kai aimed at him. "Please don't kill me! I'm not one of that evil Bowser's minions!" Kai put his arm down. "Could you tell me where this craft is headed?" he inquired. "T-to the Koopa Village. There are others of my kind there. They are also peaceful." Kai nodded and sat down. "Take us there." He said. The koopa fisherman quickly did as told. They did not know that a fish was tracking them and would report back to Bowser.

Stan and Xev thought it was strange being in a town where a bunch of mushroom head people lived. Chan, Lee, Peach, Toad and Luigi greeted them. "Uh, greetings." Said Stan, half smiling. "Welcome to our kingdom, Stanley and Xev." Said the Princess. "We're having a party in our castle with people from all over. "We will join you." Said Xev. With that, everyone entered the castle. There were drinks, and food. Stan wondered if the princess was available and Xev wondered if Mario was. But then, the pair's hopes were shattered when Mario and Peach kissed. Stan went up to Luigi. "Are there any beaches or other human women here?" he asked. Luigi shook his head. "There ain't no-a beaches and no other human-a women. Mario is the only one-a who gets-a lucky weeth the weemen, but I hope-a that I'm good enough for yer lady friend-a over there-a." Stan frowned at the answer and Xev gave Luigi an angry look. Suddenly, a group of shy-guys broke in and killed a few people. A magikoopa followed and ordered them to get the princess. In the confusion, Stan lost sight of Xev. "Xev? Xev where are you?!" he cried. Then, he saw that the shy-guys got her as well.

To Be Continued