Runaway Fox

Chapter Eight: Confessions

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Harry Potter and all the original characters and story concepts.  Those things belong to J.K. Rowling.  So please, no lawyers.  I have no money.

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            Ron pulled away from Hermione because he realized what he was doing.  He turned away from her again when he saw the look of disappointment on her face.  Was she disappointed because the kiss was bad or was she disappointed because he stopped?  He had to stop.  It was the only way he could protect her. 

            "Ron…you're still going to leave aren't you?" she asked and it sounded like she was trying to keep her voice steady.

            I did hurt her.  How could I be so stupid?  If I leave I'll hurt her again, but if I stay I could hurt her more.  There's no way out of this situation, thought Ron frantically.  "I have to.  My life is there," he said evenly.

            "I thought England was your home.  It was for eighteen years, Ron.  Much longer than America's been your home," reasoned Hermione.  Her voice as starting to crack.

            "It isn't anymore.  I made a life for myself in the United States.  I have everything I need and want there.   I could never have gotten it here.  No matter how hard I tried," said Ron harshly. 

            "It doesn't matter to me.  It never mattered to me, Ron.  You were always good enough for me.  I didn't care whether or not you got to play Quidditch here or not.  I only cared that you were here.  I only cared about the Quidditch because it mattered to you," said Hermione.  She wasn't trying to hide the desperate plea in her voice.

            "Good enough?  You were the one who went out with Viktor Krum for four years, Hermione.  You were the one who was always on Harry's side during an argument.  I had to leave, Hermione or I would have died here a nobody.  What you need me for is just so you could always feel good about yourself?  Was I the person you compared yourself to when you felt bad?" said Ron with an even harsher edge on his voice. 

            "That's not true and you know it.  You were the only one who had problems with who you are.  You are the most selfish person I have ever meet Ronald Weasley," cried Hermione as she blinked back her tears.

            Ron felt horrible for making her come to tears.  It was making his chest hurt just watching her.  But he had to protect her from himself.  He could hurt her more than just this, and he knew it.  "It's the only way you can succeed in life, Hermione," he responded coldly.

            "How could you be so cold, Ron?  What happened to you?  What made you change?" asked Hermione as a tear escaped and spilled down her cheek.  Ron rolled his hands up into fist to resist the compulsion to wipe her tears off her face.  He couldn't show any gentle gestures if he was going to push her out of his life again.

            "It's the only way to survive.  Wake up, Hermione.  Damn it, you're an Auror, you should know about the way the world is.  People grow up, Hermione.  That's the way it is.  I don't even think that you, Harry, and I are friends anymore," said Ron as his tone took a more steel edge to it with an iciness that made Hermione shudder.  His words weren't hurting her because he was her friend. She looked at him with her eyes blurring from her tears. 

            "I—I.." she stammered to him.

~*~

            Simon also decided to something else behind Ron's back.  He knew that Ron never really recovered from what had happened to him after the World Cup three years ago. He was still hurting from it, so he decided to pay the Weasleys a visit.

            He apparated to the Burrow.  He remembered Ron telling him about the house he grew up and smiled.  It was something he expected.  He walked up to the door at the same time passing some chickens and knocked at the door.  A short, plump woman opened the door.  "Hello?" she asked. 

            "Hello, Mrs. Weasley.  My name is Simon Scott and I work for your son, Ronald Weasley," said Simon in a very friendly voice.

            The woman's eyes lit up the moment he mentioned Ron's name.  She opened the door wide and hustled him inside.  It was a cozy home.  A loving home that Simon expected.  It reminded him of his mother's house on a ranch that he bought for her birthday, and Ron bought her horses.  "Would you like some tea?" she asked him.

            "Yes, of course.  Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," answered Simon.  Mrs. Weasley served him some tea with some biscuits to go with it.  She even cut and buttered a few for him.  He thought that Mrs. Weasley reminded him of his own mother.  It was no wonder that Ron felt so comfortable around Simon's mother.

            "Are you a friend of his?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

            "Yes.  We met in school.  I'm a wizard myself.  Of course, you probably already assumed that.  I just wanted to drop by and apologize on Ron's behalf for not being able to visit you during his trip.  He was here on business," said Simon mildly.

            Mrs. Weasley studied Simon to the point where it made him uncomfortable, and to the point where he knew that she saw right through him.  "You don't have to cover for my son, Mr. Scott," she said with a sad smile on her face.

            "Um…I'm sorry.  I tried to convince him…but you know Ron.  He's really stubborn.  And, you can call me Simon," said Simon. 

            "Yes, he's as stubborn as any member of this family.  Since I can't see my own son, perhaps you can tell me how he really is," offered Mrs. Weasley.

            "Well, I guess I should start with school.  When I first met Ron I was practicing Quidditch in the field, but he insisted on flying around.  I got mad a him and challenged him to a race.  It was going really well until we hit a hedge and got a trip to the infirmary.  My mother got mad at me and sent a Howler.  I was already eighteen and I couldn't believe it.  But, your son was laughing at it.  Of course, I didn't really want to be friends with Ron.  He got in trouble because of the incident, but since you and your husband couldn't be contacted, he got a trip to the Chancellor's office instead.  I thought for sure that he'd be expelled, but instead she put on him on the Quidditch team because according to his transcripts he played at his last school.  She said he needed the discipline.  The competition between Ron and me continued on the Quidditch team.  However, we kind of got over it off the Quidditch field.  He helped me through the Transfiguration and I helped him through Potions," said Simon.

            Mrs. Weasley smiled at him.  "What about the broomsticks?" she asked.

            "Oh.  Well, um…during the weekends we used to take our broomsticks and race them along the coast.  We were sure to stay above the clouds or take courses that didn't have a lot of Muggles around.  Pretty soon we started designing our own broomsticks and building them.  Ron's much better at design than I am.  And he's the got the guts to go the distance.  When he was recruited for the Astrolights it was a blessing for him.  He needed the money to pay for school.  I didn't mind it so much besides, I got tickets to Quidditch games for free.  Ron's an idea sort of person.  I'm used to dealing with small details, which Ron can't stand unless it's about a broomstick.  After he left the Astrolights, he decided to design broomsticks specifically for the positions of the players on the Quidditch field.  He sort kept his name out of it because he wanted people to buy the broomsticks because they were good, not because they had his name on it," continued Simon.  He knew that he was talking too much, but Mrs. Weasley wasn't stopping him.  The door opened to reveal a group of red heads and a guy with messy jet black hair.

            "Didn't have any luck, Mum.  Someone must have warned him that we were trying to find him," said one of the red heads; he was wearing glasses.  They all stopped when the saw Simon.  He stood up.

            "Hello everyone.  This is Simon Scott.  He's a friend of Ron's," said Mrs. Weasley.  Simon noticed that she didn't say that he worked for Ron.

            "Hello.  I know who all of you are.  Let's see.  You're Harry Potter.  You're Ginny, Percy, Charlie, and Bill.  Which one of you is Fred and George?" asked Simon as he held out his hand. 

            The seven of them looked at the American strangely.  He had a pleasant smile on his face.  He was about the same height as Bill.  "I'm Fred.  He's George," said Fred as he pointed to himself and gestured to his twin.

            "It's nice to finally meet all of you.  I've heard a lot about you from Ron," said Simon.  He offered his hand to them to shake with.  Harry was the first one to shake hands with Simon.  He regarded Harry with a look of study.  Harry realized that he wasn't looking at his scar rather he was judging Harry.  He stared back at Simon, but broke it off because he couldn't take the near glare that was in Simon's blue eyes.  Simon shook hands with everyone else after that.

            "Simon was just telling me what Ron was doing while he was in school and how he got his business started," said Mrs. Weasley.

            "Really?  Did you go to the same school as Ron?" asked Ginny.

            "Yes, we went to Ellsinore together.  I was born and raised in California.  I am Ron's second-in-command and his lawyer," answered Simon.  Harry realized that Simon was one Ron's trusted advisors, but was he here on business?

            "I can't say that I'm a little concerned about hearing Ron racing his broomstick up and down California like that.  Not only could you both be spotted, but someone could have gotten hurt," said Mrs. Weasley.

            "'No guts, no glory.'  It's a saying we Americans live by.  Ron's pretty much adopted that philosophy," said Simon.

            "Ron did graduated second in his class," said Bill.

            "He should have been first, but the Quidditch World Cup game sort of got in the way, among other things," said Simon. 

            "Either way, he did very well," insisted Mrs. Weasley proudly.  Simon smiled at her.

            "I came here without telling Ron," admitted Simon.  "I just wanted to drop by because Ron wasn't going to.  He's not really as busy as all that.  It's just that he's reluctant to come home.  I think he had plans of returning to England after college, but he just couldn't."

            "Why?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

            "I can't say, Mrs. Weasley.  What kind of best friend would I be if I couldn't keep his secrets?  He's got some things his own demons to fight before he come home," said Simon softly.

            "What kind of demons?" asked Harry worriedly.  His green eyes were teeming with concern. 

            "That's partly it, Mr. Potter.  Ron's not being so cold on purpose.  He's only protecting himself and everyone else.  I will continue to keep an eye on him for your sakes," said Simon solemnly.  The seriousness in his manner alarmed Mrs.  Weasley and everyone else greatly.  Harry felt a little envious of Simon for being so close to Ron.  Ron was his best friend, not Simon's.  Wasn't he for seven years?  And yet, Harry knew nothing about Ron.  Simon was obviously someone Ron trusted.  Harry's jaw clutched.  The last time he was this mad at Ron was during the Triwizard Tournament when Ron thought that Harry put his name into the Goblet of Fire.  Harry's last memory of Ron was fighting with him when he got on the Chudley Cannons, and Ron didn't. 

            "You know where Ron is.  Why don't you just tell us, so we can help him?" said Harry in a angry voice. 

            "I can't.  And furthermore, I won't," said Simon staring Harry down again.  Both men were glaring at each other willing the other one to cave in.  Ginny stepped between them and said, "Harry, calm down.  If Simon says that Ron's not ready to meet with any of us, then he's not ready."  Harry looked at his wife, and his anger was transferred over to her.  He felt like it was his fault that Ron left.  Ginny took a step back from the look in Harry's eye.

            "He's my best friend," said Harry defensively. 

            Everyone else realized what was happening.  Harry and Simon were fighting over who was Ron's best friend.  Neither was going to back down.  Harry was also angry at Simon for being a better friend to Ron than he was.  Not that he would admit it out loud. 

~*~

            "I—"stammered Hermoine.  Ron looked at her as if he was expecting something important to come from her.  Just say it, Hermione.  He's been your best friend for seven years.  You love him, right?  Then just say it.  You should have said it five years ago, said a voice inside Hermione's head. 

            "Don't pretend you know me, Hermione," said Ron coldly as he turned his back to way away from her.  He need to turn away so that he couldn't see the tears streaming down her cheeks.  He also wanted to walk away from her before she could say anything more.  Anything that could possibly stop him.  You're afraid that he won't love you back, isn't that right?  Think about it, girl.  He was jealous of Viktor.  He said so earlier, urged the little voice in her head.

            "I love you," whispered Hermione softly.  So softly that hardly anyone could hear it.  Ron paused for a moment.  He turned around slowly, but his face remained neutral.  He heard her very clearly. 

            "You do?" asked Ron harshly.  That wasn't what Hermione expected.  Not what she expected at all.  He should like she had said something horrible.

            What are you doing?  Why are you looking at her?  Remember what happened the last time someone said she loved you?  Remember?  Where is she now?  Ron heard his thoughts in his head.

            "It never mattered to me how much money you had or if you got to play Quidditch.  I wished you had gotten on the team instead of Harry.   You would have stayed if you did.  If you had asked me to or given me any indication that you wanted me to, I would have left Viktor for you in a heartbeat.  I wanted to go to the Yule Ball with you.  I was hoping you'd ask," confessed Hermione. 

            Ron stared at her for a moment again without saying a word.  She wrapped her arms over her chest because she felt like she was in pain.  "Could you now?  Could you love me no matter what?" challenged Ron with a sneer.  He was masking the pain he was feeling in his chest as well.  It was pain that went right down to his soul.

            "Yes," answered Hermione quickly.  It was true.   She could love him no matter what. 

            "I'm not the same person I was five years ago Hermione.  You're in love with the person I used to be," said Ron evenly.  "You're not in love with me." 

            "I love you more than I did five years ago, Ron," said Hermione softly as she wiped her tears away with the back of her right hand.  She realized that she was going to have to face the fact that Ron didn't love her back at all.

            "Could you love even if I told you everything?" asked Ron, using his harsh tone again.

            Hermione looked at him.  It sounded like he was testing her.  Most people would just accept or reject someone's confession of love and be done with it, but Ron was testing her.  Or so she thought. 

            "Yes…I don't really care if you did anything wrong.  Just don't leave again, Ron," pleaded Hermione.  Her pleas were so earnest that Ron felt himself weaken ever so slightly.

            "I've loved you for the longest time, Ron," said Mari in a breathless voice.  Ron couldn't believe what he was hearing.  Mari was one of his closest friends.  How could she possibly be in love with him? 

            "What?" said Ron in amazement as he gazed into her eyes.  She looked at him with nothing more, but love in her eyes. 

            "I know that you probably don't feel the same way as I do," muttered Mari.  "But I don't think I can spend the rest of my life without telling you, Ron.  It would be like living a lie."  Her voice was soft, but there weren't any tears in her eyes.

            "Um…I don't know how I feel about you, Mari.  I like you.  I really do like you.  I suppose I love you, but more like a good friend, Mari," confessed Ron.  The hurt look on Mari's face made him want to kick himself.

            Instead, the smile came back to her face.  "I understand," she said and quickly added, "No I really do, Ron.  I can accept it.  I love you enough to accept it."

            Ron was shocked that anyone would love him for just being himself.  "Thank you, Mari," he whispered to her.  She smiled at him as she took her arm.  They continued to walk along the shore with the sea breeze in their hair.

            The memory of that moment flash through his mind.  That was enough to make Ron turn around from Hermione.  He couldn't protect Mari, but the least he could do was protect Hermione.  He had to shot her down.  A Shakespeare quote flash through his mind, "Cruel to be kind."  He had to be cruel even if it mean hurting Hermione temporarily.  He suppressed the urge to sigh because that would show weakness. 

            He turned around sharply and walked back towards her.  She looked at him with her tearful, loving eyes.  He decided to catch at least one tear drop.  His thumb caught one tear drop that fell on her left cheek.  She looked at him with some quiet hope in her eyes.  His eyes were painful and sad.  She took a hold of his hand which felt cold to her touch. 

            His expression also looked so serious as he whispered, "I murdered two people."

AN:  And that's my cliffhanger.  I said it was a drama, and I've been into the anime called Gravitation.  You were probably wondering what the flashbacks were working up to.  But, what does this all mean?  Ron's got some thing dark in his past.  While Harry and Simon are fighting for position of best friend.  Please review.  Well, it's not like it matters.  I keep writing for the kind people who review anyway.  Thankies to all of you.