Disclaimer: Rincewind and The Luggage belong to Terry Pratchett, that wonderful writer.

A Rincewind Interview
By Mrs Grim

Me: Excuse me! Have you seen a wizard about? Tall, skinny, hat that says "Wizzard"?

~Blank looks~

Me: Followed by a homicidal box on legs?

Some person: Oh! You mean HIM! He went that way…

Me ~runs to catch Rincewind~: Hey! Why the hurry?

Rincewind: I'm running away. That generally means I'm in a hurry if I want to be able to run away again tomorrow.

Me: Right, but do you mind? It's hard to do an interview when dashing about the continent. Who's chasing you anyway?

R ~Stops~: I can't remember.

Me ~rolls eyes`: Well, then. DO you have a moment? I'd like to interview the amazing Rincewind…

Me ~hurrridly~: AND his extra-amazing Luggage!

L ~looks as pleased as wood can~

R ~looking over his shoulder~: Alright, but don't attract attention…

Me ~ignoring him~: So! How does it feel to be a hero?

R ~looks at me blankly~: Oh, I dunno. I've never thought about it really…

Me: You've never thought about it?!? You've saved the world-er- Disc!

R: Well, that was due purely to luck and The Luggage.

Me ~looking warily at the wooden box~: Aha…Okay, scratch that. Hmmm… What about-er politics? How do you feel about your chances for making head of the Unseen University?

R ~looks at me as if I am crazy~: You're joking me, right? They don't call me inept for nothing.

M ~huffs and searches for questions~: Fine. Uh…how about family life…?

R ~pales~

M: Oopsie. I forgot. Bad question. Wizards don't get married…

R ~puts his hand to his heart and wheezes for breath~: And when they do, their offspring are short little kids, having metal staffs, who nearly take over the Disc and try to get me killed to boot.

M: Subject change! How about ~searches for something~ Oh…pets?

R: I'm on fairly good terms with an orangutan…

M: Ah! ~pauses~ Not what I meant. ~pause again~ Y'know, don't take this personally, but what DO you talk about?

R ~ponders this~: Mostly running away. ~brightens~ I'm very good at that.

Me ~looking at watch~: I'm sure you are so- uh- you'd better get to it!

R ~sighs~: I suppose I'd better… ~snaps fingers at the Luggage~ Come on, now!

L ~huffs as only it can and glances longingly back~

Me: Er, well, thanks… I think…And, uh- bye Luggage!

L ~acknowledges its fall from stardom and turns away to plod off into Rincewind's cloud of dust~

Me ~Shaking head~: Well. That was- different.


A/N: Haha! I have the Luggage! He will be my companion for future interviews! :)

Comments?

Mrs Grim