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Junior X Chapter 1

Suffer the Child.


The sound of a child's laughter.

It was the light of his world. The music that made his heart skip a beat. A young man bouncing his toddler son up and down on his right knee. The child's laughter became louder and louder, becoming so contageous that his father started laughing to tears. The young man then gathered the boy in his arms, stood up and started cuddling him. Yes, the man thought, life doesn't get any better than this.

"You are my whole world, you and your mother," the man whispered in his son's ear, "You are both my dream come true." He kissed the child on the cheek as tiny, trusting arms wrapped his neck in the biggest
bear hug a child of two could muster.

Suddenly, for no reason, the boy began to cry. The young man gathered his son in a soothing hug and sat back down in the chair they were playing horsey on just seconds ago.

"Oh, my baby. Shhhh. It's o.k. Tell daddy what's wrong. Why do you cry?" The man asked lovingly, cuddling his child and burying his face in its hair.

"Daddy?" the child looked up into his father's eyes, chubby cheeks streaked with tears.

"Yes, baby, tell daddy what's wrong." The father cooed, wiping the child's tears with the heal of his hand.

"Why did you let me die?" The child's cries became heart-wrenching wails of pain. The man looked down at his son, blood spurting from the boy's chest into his lap.

"Don't let me die, daddy!!!!" the child pleaded with it's father. " I'M SCARED!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!"
An almost primal scream escaped from the boy's lips as he breathed his last, and his small, limp body fell lifeless in
his father's arms.

"NO!! NOT AGAIN!! " The young man screamed, "JACOB!! DON'T GO!!!! DADDY LOVES YOU!! DADDY'S SORRY!!"

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

And with that scream, Kurt Wagner awoke. Drenched in sweat from head to toe, salty tears stinging his soft, golden eyes. This was a nightly ritual for him,
The nightmares playing over and over again in his tormented mind. He breathed heavily and started sobbing uncontrollably, trying to compose himself as to
not awaken Kitty beside him. He felt his dinner rising in his throat. Quickly throwing back the sheets from the bed, he made his way to the bathroom, vomiting
painfully into the toilet.

After regaining his strength, he stood before the mirror and rinsed the perspiration from his face. He took a good, long look at himself. Large, Dark circles
rimmed his yellow eyes. A grey hair here and there streaked through his thick, violet-black hair, which he had let grow past his shoulders the day he married Kitty.
He had long hair briefly before he shaved himself smooth as a cue ball back in the excalibur days. He remembered Kitty had said she loved his long hair at the time,
and grew it just for her. He would indeed do anything for her. He shook his head in exhaustion and pain. A migrain was beginning to pound in his temples, and it
hurt to look at the light.

He made his way down the hallway toward the kitchen. On his way down, another mirror in the hallway caught his eye as he also noticed wrinkles of exhaustion and grief
were starting to line his face. His black t-shirt and grey sweat pants soaked in sweat. They hung loosly on his frame, as he had also lost a great deal of weight this
past year.

"You are pitiful, ja?" Kurt told his reflection, mocking it. "Did you think it was possible for you to have a normal life? WELL DID YOU?!!" He was screaming at himself in
the mirror, and drew back his fist to shatter it. He caught himself at the last minute. Shaking his head again as tears started flowing again, he made his way on into the kitchen.

"I hope I didn't wake Kitty." Kurt thought to himself as he sat himself down at the kitchen table. His beautiful wife, his precious Katzchen. He had loved her for so long,
even when he was with Amanda,yet told her nothing, in fear he would ruin their friendship. After reassessing his decision to follow the priesthood shortly after Colossus's death, he came to the
decison that life was to short to live it without the one you loved. To his delight, Kitty had felt the same way. After a whirlwind courtship, they had married. As if that didn't
make him happy enough, Kitty gave him a child, their beautiful Jacob. "After all you have given me, I have let you down in so many ways, my love." Kurt mumbled to himself as he absent-
mindedly sipped on a sprite to soothe his upset stomach. He glanced at the clock. "Two A.M." He mumbled to himself.

Here he was, as he was every night the past year, sitting alone in the quiet of the kitchen to ponder if his life was worth living. Yet another night to replay the day his and his wife's
life was shattered.

His mind replayed every detail vividly. How the Friends of Humanity had invaded the mansion and kidnapped Ororo Munroe and Jacob, his darling son. How they fought to find them and broke into
their compound. How he found the body of the beautiful ebony-skinned windrider that apparently tried in vain to shield the smaller, blue skinned corpse from death.

Sobs once again wracked his body.

He had pondered taking his own life, but he couldn't. He was scared. A coward. "You're a dirty, filthy bastard, Wagner" he thought to himself, " A total waste of human flesh."
"You had everything. Your soulmate, Kitty. The one woman who made you feel loved and whole for the first time in your worthess life. She gave you a precious child, and what did you
dO? WHAT!!!!!!" Kurt was screaming at himself again as he lay his head down on the table, his heart torn in two.

"Kurt?" a sweet, female voice came from behind him. A beautiful woman, face framed in chestnut hair and eyes to match, sat down beside him, wrapping arms around him to comfort and soothe.

"Oh, Kitty!!!" Kurt continued to sob as he lost himself in his wife's embrace. For the both of them,this had been a regular pasttime since the death of their precious son. Kitty's tears
mingled with Kurt's. Kurt had been so strong for her, she thought, and he never thinks of himself.

"Our whole life crumbled when Jacob died," Kitty moaned," But we have to move on, sweetheart, for both our sakes. We need to start over."

Kurt rose to his feet and, in a fit of rage, slammed both blue fists down on the table in front of him, nearly breaking it in two. "How can we?!! We've been trying for six months now, and
still nothing!!" Kurt and Kitty had been trying to have another child, but with no luck. The grief he still had for his lost son and the pain of unsuccessful attempts to have another child
was breaking his heart. Kurt turned away, ashamed for yelling at his wife, and ran his hands through his long mane in exhaustion and remorse. He looked back down at his wife, who was now completely
dissolved in tears, making his heart ache even more. Kurt sat back down, gathering Kitty in his arms. "Oh, Leibling!! I'm sorry!! I'm so sorry for yelling at you." He was sobbing again. " I have let
everyone who has ever had anything to do with me down." Kurt sobbed.

Kitty grabbed Kurt's face and forced him to look her in the eye. "Don't you dare say that again!!" Kitty scolded. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and don't you forget it!!"
Kitty locked her lips onto Kurt's in a passionate kiss. Kurt smiled wainly and asked Kitty,"When will the test results be back?"

"Tommorrow." Kitty smiled back. In their attempts to have another child, they had both ordered HanK McCoy to give them tests to see if anything was keeping them from having a child.

"I'm sure everything is fine, Kurt. We just have to keep trying is all." Kitty ran her hands over Kurt's tense back. "Come back to bed, Love. Please try to rest. Have you been taking those sleeping'
pills Hank gave you?"

"Ja." Kurt smiled weakly.

"I love you, Kurt. Never forget that." Kitty whispered.

"And I you, Katzchen." Kurt wrapped his arms around Kitty and they made their way back to bed.