::the curtain closes... to be reopened minutes later, the stage now set up like the inside of the Moulin Rouge: Dim, with strobe lights and gaudy decorations::
::Morg's voice::Hunter Redfern. And his infamous girls. He called them... his Sailor Scouts...
::Dee, Kait, Bonnie, Blaise, and Garnet come out on stage, dressed much like some of our oh so favorite pop stars, one should note, of course, Bonnie's bright pink hair.... Light snapping is heard and the background music for Lady Marmalade starts up, and Dee starts singing::
Dee:
Where's all my soul sisters
Let me hear ya flow sisters
All:
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister
Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da (hey hey hey)
Gitchi gitchi ya ya hee (hee oh)
Mocca chocolata ya ya (ooh yeah)
Creole Lady Marmalade (ohh)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir (oh oh)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Creole Lady Marmalade
Ohh, yes, ah
::The music starts to switch and Hunter Redfern comes out in a top hat and twirling around a cane both of which he dug up from his old tapdancing days, followed by Thea, Hannah, Winnie, Laurel, and Kes, who are dressed like whores... ahem Sailor Scouts. His shoes make a suspicious clickity clack on the floor as he walks, as though he's wearing tap shoes. The music for "The Goodship Lollypop" starts, before being quickly turned off and switched to the "Can-Can" music::
::Hunter starts to sing::
Because we can can can
Yes we can can can can can can can Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
::Dee, Kait, Bonnie, Blaise, and Garnet::
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir (oh oh)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (yeah yeah yeah yeah
::Hunter twirls his cane around again. The strobe lights flash around the stage, illuminating different characters::
Oh-oh Everybody can can Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh Everybody can can Becuase we can can can
Yes we can can can
Yes we can can can
Because we can can can
Yes we can can can
Yes we can can can can can can can (repeats many times)
Tom:
::makes his way over to Morg on his knees:: Morg! Mission accomplished! We've successfully invaded Hunter!
::The crowd in the Moulin Rouge hushes, some silver confetti starting to spill from the top of the stage. A rope with a tire swing attached to it (They're on a BUDGET) begins to lower from the ceiling of the stage, with Mare holding onto it for dear life::
Tom:
It's her... the Sparkling Diamond...
::Morg is all oogly eyed::
Mare singing:
Lamia are glad to die for love
They delight in fighting duels
::Morg's voice::
"But someone else was to meet Mare that night..."
Mare:
But I prefer a vamp who lives...
::Morg's voice::
"Hunter's great great great great great great great grandson... assuming that it was his grandson at all, since LJ never really said..."
Mare:
And gives expensive jewels.
::Morg's voice::
"Ash Redfern"
::a strobe light centers on Ash, then flashes back to Mare::
Mare:
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But diamonds are a vermin's best friend.
A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat, or help you feed your -meow- pussycat.
Immortals grow cold as humans grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end.
But square-cut or pear-shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a vermin's best friend
::Ash and Hunter are off in a little corner, talking amongst themselves...::
Ash, who seems to be wearing a fake mustache that looks at though it's being held on with duct tape and has adopted a rather creepy voice speaks:
When do I get to meet the vermin?
Mare, still singing:
Tiffany
Hunter:
After her number, I've arranged a meeting for you and Madamoiselle Carter. ::in a very ominous voice, since we all know that *someone's* going to screw *something* up...:: Totally alone.
Mare... who's STILL singing:
Cartier
::Tom and Morg are sitting across from Ash and Hunter, talking amongst *them*selves...::
Tom:
After her number I've arranged a meeting for you and Madamoiselle Carter, totally alone!
Morg:
Alone!
::Hunter's and Tom's voice raise and they speak together from their respective "tables"::
Yes, totally alone.
Sailor Scouts (Hannah, Thea, Winnie, and Laurel), along with Diana, who's the caretaker but is making a cameo in this song anyway, and Kes:
Cause we are living in a Sailor Scout world
And I am a Sailor Scout girl.
Mare:
Come and get me boys
Woo
::Hunter excuses himself and starts towards the center of the stage::
Mare:
Rock star, Rozz call
Talk to me Hunter Redfern, tell me all about it!
There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer
Sailor Scouts:
But diamonds are a vermin's best friend.
::Hunter jumps up on the center stage with Mare, doing a little Good Ship Lollypop Tap Dance of Joy::
Mare:
There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer thinks you're…
Hunter:
Awful nice
Mare:
But get that ice or else no dice.
::There's a bit of a mix up on stage then, where Tom dumps a glass of absinthe into Ash's lap, because god knows Tom and Ash never got along *any*way... Tom waves a strand of duct tape at Ash, mockingly, as he decides to be belligerent and insult Ash by calling him a musketeer pig...::
::Meanwhile, on the center stage, Hunter and Mare are talking to one another under the sound of the Sailor Scouts singing::
Mare:
Is Ash here Hunter!
::Hunter looks over and sees Tom waving his duct tape at Ash::
Hunter:
He's the one Tom is waving duct tape at...
::Of course that's when Damon, who shaved his head *just* for this role, stands up, towering over "midget" Tom::
Damon::
Grrr!!!
::Tom's mouth drops open and he retreats to Morg to go borrow *his* duct tape handkerchief... and starts waving it in Morg's face::
::Mare chooses this moment to look over at the scene::
Mare, to Hunter::
Are you sure?
::Tom takes this moment to make his way *back* over to Ash, and waves the new duct tape hankie in his face again just in time for Hunter too look::
Hunter:
That's the one!
::Mare is pleased, since Ash's looks were too empty and wonderful for her anyway::
Sailor Scouts continue singing:
He's your guy when stocks are high
But beware when they start to descend
Diamonds are a vermin's best
Diamonds are a vermin's best
Diamonds are a vermin's best…friend
::Mare and Hunter disappear under a curtain of skirts created by can-canning Sailor Scouts::
::Mare all fluffs up her hair and stuff, beginning to change costumes and asks Hunter all sorts of questions about Ash::
Mare:
Will he give all that Redfern money to the Moulin Rouge?
Hunter:
::laughs:: Pigeon! (Pigeon??) After finding out you're his soulmate how could he refuse!
Mare:
What's his type? Wilting flower? ::she pouts::
::Hunter wrinkles his nose::
Mare:
Bright and bubbly? ::makes a really stupid face, not that difficult for her to achieve, and shakes her hair around::
::Another nose wrinkle::
Mare:
Or smoldering temptress, roar!
Hunter:
I'd say smoldering temptress! That's what Iris and Pearl and Opal were!
::Mare finishes changing costumes with Hunter's help and then the two jump out of the "skirt room"::
Mare:
Cause that when those louses go back to their spouses
Mare and Sailor Scouts:
Diamonds are a vermin's best
(Diamonds are a vermin's best)
(Diamonds are a vermin's best)
Mare:
Friend
::All the Sailor Scouts begin to sing again to fast pace music::
Dance all day
Dance all day
Dance all day
::Mare makes her way over to Morg and Co.::
Mare:
I believe you were expecting me…
Sailor Scouts:
Dance all day
Dance all day
Dance all day
And it's called the Moulin Rouge
Lets dance... To the beat of the rhythm of the nightworld
Forget about the worries on your mind (on your mind)
To the beat of the rhythm of the nightworld
::Watching Mare and Morg dance... or rather, Mare dances, since she learned to dance from all those dance lessons with the Shirtless New Yorker, and Morg look like an idiot... the Musks comment::
Gabe:
That seemed to go well...
Tom:
I told you! He's a genius!
::Hunter's watching from a far and doesn't realize that Mare is dancing with Morg and not Ash::
Hunter, to himself:
My grandson certainly can dance!
::the lights go back to Mare and Morg "dancing" where they're discussing dancing and poetry after supper, since that's what they're calling it these days... Mare seems a little *too* excited about Morg's "poetry"... The song begins to come to an end, and Mare advises Morg to take off his hat and throw it like everyone else...::
::Mare is back on the tire rope, once again singing::
Mare:
Diamonds... Diamonds... Diamonds are a vermin's best…
::She starts gasping for breath... maybe she's about to slide off the tire swing... yep... she faints and down she falls. Luckily, Mark, the best little brother in the world is there to catch her::
::Hunter is watching, horrified::
Hunter:
Nooooo! ::he pauses, muttering something under his breath about damn vermin, then realizes he needs to make the crowd think that everything is ok... so he starts yelling:: Yeahhhhhhhh!!!!!
::people in the club start to chant Mare's name::
::The lights dim on Hunter's part of the stage, and focus on Mark, carrying Mare::
::Meanwhile, in the back room, where Mark has taken Mare, Kestrel is commenting on the situation::
Kestrel:
Don't know if Ash's gonna get his money's worth tonight from that trollop.
Hannah, who's one of the whores and is backstage as well:
Don't be unkind Kes.
::During this, Hunter's still outside in the club, trying to keep everyone from realizing that his vermin is diseased and the lights go back to him::
Hunter:
You frightened her away. But I can see some lonely Moulin Rouge dancers looking for a partner or two. So dance with them and shuttup.
::The lights go back to where Mare and Mark are. Diana rushes in from a wing, because she's a good taker-carer of those in need::
Diana:
Everyone move ::she shoos at people::
Mare:
::she coughs, muttering about how they don't have costumes like this in Briar Creek::
Adam, the doctor like man chases the rest of the scouts out of the back room, which really equates to the other side of the stage where Hunter is:
All right, you scouts--get back out front and make those gents thirsty. ::he turns to Diana:: Problems?
Diana:
Not for you to be worried about.
Adam:
Let's not stand around then.
::Mare starts to cough again... hackhackchokechokehack... and coughs up some blood in the tissue that Diana is holding to her lips... this is an immediate uh OH for the audience::
::On the other side of the stage, Ash is pushing around his "manservant" Damon (lets just not think about that one too deeply shall we?)::
Ash:
Find Hunter, the vermin is waiting for me.
::The curtain closes for a moment, and then rises on Diana and Mare in the back room. There is a goat, not a bird, in a cage that has fake wings duct taped to its back to the side of them and Diana seems to be lacing Mare up into *some* kind of cruel inhumane clothing::
Diana:
With a patron like that Ash, you'll be the next Nicole Kidman.
Mare:
::looks thrilled:: Do you really think I could be like the great Nicole? I'm going to fly away from here. ::looks to her goat and says in a sickly sweet voice:: Oh yes, we're going to fly, fly away from here!
Hunter, coming into the room:
Duckling, is everything all right?
Mare:
Oh yes, of course Hunter.
Hunter:
Oh thank goodness ::mutters under his breath again, something about stupid, sick, weak vermin:: All that ridiculous soulmate stuff seemed to work with my grandson on the dance floor.
::Mare turns, posing for Hunter::
How do I look? Smoldering temptress?
Hunter:
Oh my little ver... ::coughs and corrects himself:: strawberry, how can he possibly resist from gobbling you up? Everything's going so well! ::he does a little dance, twirls his cane, and the curtain closes::
