A Wish Before Death




Disclaimer: I go not own Heero, Wufei or any character from Gundam Wing. Just borrowing them.
Warning: YAOI!!! Character Death, other than that not past PG13.
Pairings: 1x5, 1x2, um did I mention yaoi?
Key:
//.....// Wufei's thoughts.

~~~~~~



Wufei looked down past his feet below from the 25 story apartment building that he stood from the ledge of. He felt absolutely nothing, no fear of falling or disorientation staring down from such a height, he was strangely devoid of feeling. This unfeeling started ever since his suspicions were confirmed. The pictures were still on the desk he left them on, inside the spacious apartment. It was too late for turning back, he was tired of being hurt over and over, during the war and after the war.

Deep inside he had known his suspicions were true, he had suspected for a while now and that was before he had seen them together with his own eyes. Kissing and arms slung over each other, he saw in bold day light in public places, but never more than that. He didn't want to see more than that.

He never said anything about what he had seen and heard from other people, not the first time or the tens of times after that. He just sank deeper into his work, keeping late hours, the rest of the time that he could not avoid being home and seeing him he spent playing the piano for hours unsuccessfully trying to avoid his presence. He tried to ignore the proof, the facts. When Heero came back from "work" smelling like alcohol, cologne -which Wufei never used and knew Heero didn't have -and sex. It was like Heero thought he was blind or stupid, that he could be that careless about his whereabouts and still think that he can walk by without Wufei noticing.

They were happy once the first few years after the war, with no sign that it could lead to this. Everyone was surprised to say the least to find out that Wufei and Heero were more than just friends, but they accepted it readily enough, even Duo it seemed, but now he knew how wrong he was. Wufei guessed that Heero had first started cheating with Duo ever since that preventors mission that they had gone on together for over a week. They had gone together because Une was not a big believer on partnering couples together, so Wufei had been partnered with Zechs and Heero with Duo. Neither of them had objected with that and Wufei had not thought that it would threaten their relationship, they see each other all the time at home so it wasn't supposed to be a problem. But it was.

***

"Why did you have to leave with him anyway? You could have waited a little longer for me to finish and we could've both gone together!" Heero was yelling by now, tossed his head back to get his bangs out of his face and came back for more. "Then you wouldn't have come back so late, spending practically the entire night with him!"

" I didn't think you were going to mind, Duo told me you were going to be late going over that case! So I left! Zechs offered to drive me home and we went to dinner along the way, so? I don't mind if you stay out late with Duo, why the hell are you yelling at me for that?! He is my partner you know and it's only nine, it's not that late." Wufei was angry and hurt. He never got to spend evenings with Heero any more either, it was always some case he need to stay late for, at the office or at Duo's. "Heero, you spend at least two nights over at Duo's a week! Should I suspect _ you _ of cheating?"

Heero's startled and slightly guilty spluttering.

Wufei turned his back on him and walked out the door.

***

Now even if Heero tried to talk with him, he couldn't bring himself to talk. This just confused and angered Heero, after all he didn't know Wufei actually knew about him and his late nights with Duo. Heero would accuse Wufei of ignoring him and cause another fight that Wufei didn't even defend him self from.

Everything just got worse and to Wufei it seemed impossible that they could have ever worked out from the start. But even after all the fights and harsh words directed at Wufei, he still loved Heero. As much as ever. Loved his cobalt blue eyes that once softened when their gaze fell upon him, his unruly brown hair that seemed would remain that way no matter how many times they were brushed -everything.

//I guess I'm just the one that gives in this relationship. Give and give and give until I have nothing to give. Worse thing is I know he loved me once, what did I do wrong?//

Suddenly the situation felt more real, finally fully digesting what the pictures were of.

He had hired a private investigator to watch Heero. Of course he could have done it himself, but it would hurt too much. He had hired a very good investigator to carry out his orders without being found out by Heero, but in the end it didn't matter. Heero and Duo didn't even bother to be cautious, they were together in bold daylight, doing the things that lovers with nothing to hide were entitled to. They went to clubs and bars that were crowded enough that it was easy to watch them without being noticed.

Wufei had just gotten the pictures earlier in the afternoon, handed personally to him by the investigater in his apartment. The man had spared him a glance of sympathy, unspoken apology at dashing his hopes. It wasn't the hired man's fault, Wufei should have known there was none. The pictures were of Heero and Duo doing much more than just kissing... they were still there on his desk. He wondered what Heero's reaction would be when he saw them, too bad that Wufei would be gone by then.

//No shame at all, what would it feel like to confront him? No, it would just be painful, Heero probably wouldn't even care, maybe I'll be making it easier on him, he wouldn't need to break it to me. That it's over.//

The finality of what he was about to do was sinking in, there was no turning back. He couldn't ignore the pain much longer, threatening to break his icy calm. This was the only way to stop it, never again to come back. Forever.

He stepped off the ledge into what felt like an everlasting fall.

***

"Heero! That hurt! There was a rock in that snowball! It hit my head!" Pouting Wufei rubbed said spot. They were on leave for Christmas holidays and the snow was falling heavily. It was going to be very white Christmas with 16 inches of snow and still falling.

"Why are you laughing? Oh yeah, I'll see if you can take this!" That said he picked up a large piece of ice packed with snow for good measure and aimed it at Heero. It hit him in the leg and Heero fell down still laughing.

"Hahaha ah, it was just hilarious the look on your face. I'm sorry," Heero said chuckling. Then took a good look up and saw Wufei's face looming above him as he was still on his back he drew back his head quickly thumping it on a rock. Wufei was still sporting a stormy pout and defeating the purpose of it by looking adorable. "How about we go in and I'll make some hot chocolate, then," his voice low and suggestive, "I'll try and make it up to you. Help me up?" Wufei didn't let go of him after he was up on his feet and buried his face into the crook of Heero's neck. If Heero had looked down at that moment he would have seen Wufei's wicked grin, looking very sly and smug.

***

An endless fall....air rushing past...falling...
Then... "Wufei!" His name was called, no screamed. It sounded like Heero... but no, it couldn't be he was at Duo's like he was every day. Wasn't he? ... He brushed the thought away, it didn't matter, Heero wouldn't care, he betrayed him. Besides, it was too late. He was already falling... falling, so slowly...falling.......

***

"Heero dancing lessons?! How did you let Relena talk you into this?!" Wufei was sounding rather frustrated, "And why do I have to be the girl! You just have to take the lead don't you?!"

"It wasn't just Relena, Une and practically the entire female population in preventors were behind this! They probably just want to see who's going to be the 'woman'. And if I was the shorter one, than maybe but I'm not. Besides," His voice amused, "I've never heard you complaining when I'm on top, screams but no complaints."

Wufei humphed and buried his face in it's customary spot at the hollow of Heero's neck, "I hate you."

Heero grinned wickedly, giving Wufei a little squeeze on the bottom, producing a startled yelp. He smirked, "Exactly."

***

It was around midnight, they were still awake, enjoying the serenity of just cuddling. (Though Heero had to admit he never thought Wufei was the type.) It was a moment of indulgence, one they both knew would be remembered and treasured.

Heero's face in moonlight, "I love you," He whispers.

***

"I love you Heero," Wufei's whispered though no sound was heard, carried away by the wind. He had time for one finial thought,

//If there is a next life, I Wish to... never fall in love again. //

Then the ground rose up to meet him as death embraced him.







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End? Sequel? Tell me!

How did you like it? PLEASE review!!! PLEASE!!!!! I'm new to this so take it easy on me, criticism welcomed but DON'T BE MEAN! ^__^;; Sorry but I really want some reviews! ::Gives you a pointed look.:: How subtle is that? Anyway hope you liked it! Bye!!
Jan.31, 2002- I'm so sorry I am trying to repost the fic because I didn't realize that there were parts missing! Except for the first one, Wufei's other thoughts have been left out!!!
This happened in my other fic Undercover Girl too!!! I'm currently trying to use some other symbol to signify a character's thoughts. So wish me luck 'cause I know next to nothing about computers, they just don't cooperate with me! -_-;; Bye!!! ^__^

P.S. Sorry those who reviewed tell me what you think of it now, ok? Thanks!