Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, I do however own the plot, dreadful though it is

Despite the fact only four people have actually reviewed this story (Thank you very much Summersun, Asteria, denverhockeygirl and Black dragon), I'm still going to persist with this story. So here's my latest offering



After the goblet of fire, Snape and Dumbledore are talking while they drink some tea in Dumbledore's office (In case you can't work it out S stands for Snape and D stands for Dumbledore, I just couldn't be bothered to write their name every new line)

D: Oh Severus I got some new tea sweetener, would you care to try some?

S: Hmm that looked like a potion to me. What are you up to Albus?

D: Nothing, why would you think I was up to something? Please just try some, it's delicious

S: I'll only drink it if you do

D: Err. well. fine (drinks), now you

S: That was truth serum Albus. You can taste it, I do know what my own potions taste like, I'm not completely stupid

D: Really, you could have fooled me.. eek, I mean, erm, what I meant to say was.

S: Ha, give it up Albus. Why did you give me truth serum?

D: I just wanted to make sure you were loyal to me

S: Well I know your telling the truth, because you drank it too

D: Damn you're right. Oh no, I had a really great explanation all figured out, about how Madame Pomfrey must have switched the tea sweetener and truth serum without me realising

S: Ha, serves you right. Well go on, ask this really important question

D: Oh can't we talk first, I feel that we just don't talk enough nowadays, it's a shame

S: It never really bothered me, you are like more than a hundred years older than me, but very well let's talk. I always wondered who you fancied

D: I always thought Sybil was very cute, it's the only reason I hired her, she has no other skills

S: Yeah I know what you mean, she's a bit old for me but she does fill out those robes well. But I always though that you and Minerva were an item

D: Oh no, we did have a one night stand in the 70's. But she was a bit too clingy for my liking, you can have her if you want

S: That's all right, I'd rather not

D: Anyway, on to the business I wanted to discuss with you. I would like to know who you work for, Voldemort or me

S: I'm not sure just let me check my diary

D: Huh, why do you need to do that, it's a simple question

S: It's not. I've worked for so many different groups that I've lost track

D: Um could you explain because you've lost me, so start at the beginning

S: Oh the beginning's easy. I was a death eater who worked for you, but Voldemort found out so I became a death eater who pretended to work for you but really worked for him. But actually I still worked for you, so I was a death eater who pretended to work for you, while pretending to work for Voldemort while really working for you

D: Hmm, so a double double agent. But who do you work for now?

S: That's why I need my diary, I can't remember who I work for at the moment

D: But you just said you worked for me

S: Well yes while you fought Voldemort I did work for you, but not much happened after that. I know I don't belong to Gilderoy Lockhart's group anymore, I remember quitting when he lost his memory

D: Er.. What Lockhart group? Why wasn't I asked to join?

S: It was very exclusive, our aim was to help fashion disasters everywhere and fund those who needed new clothes

D: An exclusive fashion club that let you in!!? Hahaha I can't believe it

S: You're just jealous that you didn't get asked to join

D: Yeah you're right. Wait, why did I just admit that to you of all people

S: Er Albus, truth serum, remember? That's the whole reason we're having this conversation

D: Oops sorry, I forgot. I was wondering what Minerva would look like in a swimsuit

S: O please spare me. But now you mention it, I did belong to a McGonagol group as well, what was it called? Hmm, oh I remember, Dumbledore lovers united

D: Why Severus, I never thought you cared.

S: I don't, I just liked wearing tartan T-shirts, very soft on the skin

D: Hang on I still can't believe all these teachers have groups that I know nothing about

S: It's not just teachers, the students have some wonderful groups as well. I belonged to Ginny Weasley and Colin Creevey's group 'We love Harry Potter' but when that Denis Creevey joined, Ginny got annoyed and left

D: I'm sure Harry would be delighted to know he has a fanclub

S: There's loads of groups for Potter, I joined a particularly interesting one called 'Heir of Gryffindor', in fact I think Miss Weasley may have started that one as well, but she's got a new group 'Redhead's rule', I'm trying to join them at the moment. Yes I remember now, I need to pass my initiation before they'll let me join, but it'll be worth it

D: I feel all left out, I never belonged to any of those clubs. But will you join us against Voldemort or not?

S: Well I did have my heart set on Redhead's you get a free T-shirt if you join them

D: Really well if you join us you get a free, er, um a free watch and a T- shirt

S: Hmm, when you put it like that, yes of course I'll join you. Just let me make a note of it in my diary so I don't forget....Well will you look at that, it's time for my werewolf lovers group. I must fly, I have to pick up Malfoy on the way, hmm I wonder if Remus is guest speaker this week

D: Er, well, right, bye. I think I should forget this conversation ever took place, yes that's definitely the best way to retain my sanity. Hang on, what sanity?



Fred: That Snape needs his head examining, he's delusional

George: Exactly right. As if we'd ever let him join Redheads

Fred: Well it wasn't me who said he could

Draco: It was Ginny, she told him if he dyed his hair red, stood on the dinner table and sang 'I'm a little teacup' he could join

George: Why are you here Malfoy?

Fred: Yeah, this shows for Gryffindor's not idiots like you

Draco: I'm not leaving, somebody said that Potter was heir of Gryffindor I just wanted to find out if it was true

George: Well ask him, he's stood behind you

Draco: So Potter, is this true? Are you heir to that cruddy hole you call Gryffindor house

Harry: How the hell should I know, it's not like I've been presented with a badge saying 'Heir of Gryffindor'

Hermione: Well let's analyse the evidence, firstly Harry's parents lived in Godric Hollow. Second, all his family is dead, possibly because the heir of Slytherin is trying to destroy Gryffindor. Third, he's from an old and powerful wizarding family who own things like invisibility cloaks, could be that they're powerful because they're Gryffindor's and that's why Voldemort wants Harry dead. Fourth, he pulled Gryffindor's sword from the sorting hat, which Dumbledore said only a true Gryffindor could do. And finally when he tried out his wand, it shot out red and gold sparks, the Gryffindor colours

Fred: You own an invisibility cloak?

George: Wow, think of the possibilities

Ron: Shut up you two, we're speaking now, but why did the hat want to put Harry in Slytherin?

Hermione: Maybe it was confused because he speaks Parseltoungue and has some of Slytherin's powers from the curse

Draco: WHAT, the hat wanted to put Potter in Slytherin, I don't believe it (faints)

Harry: Er well, if that's all can we drop the subject?

Fred: Great idea, drop the subject and get off our show before we kill you

Ron: It's not your show

George: Yes it is

Ron: Fine, we're going, come on guys, we'll leave Malfoy with you

Fred: Finally, we have our show back, now let's carry on

George: Sorry Fred, we're out of time

Fred: Oh great and I wanted to confess my undying love for Angelina as well

George: Never mind, maybe next time

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Ok, well that's another chapter, please review it. I'm sorry for all the heir of Gryfindor stuff at the end, it got slightly out of control. But still review it, you can always slag it off if you really want