----DAILY PROPHET----

"WOOD TO GET SACK!"-
~Marci Hindweather~

POPULAR Quidditch star Oliver 'Let's Kick Some Quiddy-Butt!' Wood has been kicked off his team Puddlemere United for undisclosed reasons. The heart throb with a fan club of over ten million teenage girls has remained out of the public eye since Tuesday and refuses to talk to the press.

Good friend and Chaser of Puddlemere, Darren Ducksworth has told the Daily Prophet exclusively that Wood is going through some traumatic times at the moment. He told us that Wood is undergoing tests at the moment as they think he is schizophrenic and might be suffering from a form of serious depression after his girlfriend of five years, Anita Hayston (who he met while on a cruise in the Carribean) dumped him earlier this month.

Wood, who they call the Scottish Sensation has always been the most popular member of Puddlemere United ever since he was picked up by the club a year after he finished at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore refused to talk about the matter yet the Daily Prophet managed to find no less than thirty female students who were willing to talk to us.

Padma Parkinson, a seventh year informed us of a Miss Hermione Granger and her relationship with Mr. Wood. Granger, the HeadGirl and known as the smartest girl in all of Hogwarts, hid away in her dormitory and would not allow anyone near her. There are suspicions that Wood cheated on Hayston with Granger. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived and bestfriend of Ms. Granger denies any reports that he was involved in the scandal and insists that Granger and Wood are nothing but Owl-Pals, a concept made up by Professor J. Thudgepin.

More information coming soon!