*~*~*

*~*~*

Bridger stared down at Lucas, his hands and lips shaking violently. No, he couldn't have heard it, Lucas hadn't said this – it simply couldn't be! The old man looked over to Lieutenant Krieg and saw his own feelings mirrored in the other man's eyes.

Ben was the first of them to find his voice again. "No, Lucas," he said, his voice cracking, "You can't mean that." Ben stroked the boy's hand reassuringly but Lucas pulled it back. With some difficulty he sat up in his bed and hugged himself. Lucas stared pointedly at Ben who found it hard to withstand the gaze. Lucas looked like he was incredibly tired despite the fact that he had more or less slept for the past three days. His eyes were dull and he looked at Ben as if he was a dream.

And for Lucas it all seemed like a dream, in a haze. In his dreams it had all been so real, the dolphins, his family, the beach, his mother dying, the room with the faces! Or had it been real and now this was a dream? Lucas wasn't able to tell. In a way it wasn't important anymore what was real and what not. All that Lucas wanted to do was go home to his family and find peace. He couldn't stand it any longer. It was all so senseless and confusing.

Willing his friend to understand him, Lucas repeated his words. "Light is dark and one." Then his eyelids grew too heavy and he fell asleep again.

The two men at his bedside stared at each other with unbelieving eyes. How could this be? The meaning of Lucas' words was clear to both of them. There had been the time when Darwin was very sick and had always repeated those five words. It had taken the crew some time to come to understand what the dolphin had meant with it; it had been an old friend of Bridger who had given them the final clue: light was the knowledge and dark the absence of it. Clearly spoken this had meant that Darwin was losing all his knowledge and didn't want to die alone – and they had granted the animal his wish and had let him go. And now Lucas was saying exactly these words! Did that mean that...? Bridger couldn't bring himself to end the sentence, not even mentally. He gulped hard against the lump in his throat and addressed Ben:

"I think we should inform Dr Westphalen. She needs to know this." As an afterthought he added, "Oh, and tell Justine also."

"Aye, Sir." Ben found some comfort in his known role, with the Captain keeping a cool head and giving the orders. It was in moments like these that Ben knew that he wasn't born for the job of a Captain – he would never be able to react so thoughtful in personal moments like this. With a nod and a last look at the sleeping Lucas the Lieutenant turned and left the room to wake Dr Westphalen. When he had just reached the door he heard the Captain speak up again.

"What on earth are we going to do?" he mumbled. Ben wasn't able to give an answer to this but he guessed that Bridger hadn't expected it anyway.

The old man was left alone in the room with Lucas. He stared down on the teenager's sleeping form. His features seemed troubled in his sleep, like he was having unpleasant dreams.

"Oh, kiddo, kiddo..." Bridger whispered, "What are we going to do with you?"

*~*

" 'Light is dark and one' ? What does that mean?" Justine asked quizzically after Ben told her that Lucas had woken shortly during the last night and said this. She was sitting in Dr Westphalen's office together with the doctor, Ben and Captain Bridger. Each of them had a cup with steaming black coffee in front of them to become fully awake; it was still very early, only quarter past five.

The young woman wasn't able to make sense of these words, however, she had seen the doctor's reaction to them: the elder woman had visibly paled the moment she heard the words and pleaded "Oh, no!". So this actually had to mean something!

The three other people exchanged short glances, then Bridger spoke up.

"You see, we had something like this happen to us once..." With that he explained to Justine what had happened when Darwin was repeating these words. During his story the young woman also paled slowly. When the Captain was finished she moaned softly and buried her head in her hands.

"Oh, Lord! So does that mean that Lucas wants us to let him go, too?" Justine voiced the question that all of them had feared to say out loud. She was met with a deafening silence for a minute or two as the three members of the seaQuest found themselves unable to answer this question.

Finally Bridger cleared his throat, feeling the need to say something. "Well, honestly I have to say that this might be, with a big probability..." He said, staring at his hands.

"No." Dr Westphalen said suddenly with a determined voice. "I'm not willing to accept that so easy! That might have been the fever talking or something else! I say we wait till Lucas is awake again and see. And then I'll examine him carefully; I'm sure we can help him and it'll work out just like last time! You remember how desperate we were before Justine arrived and then he got better again almost instantly!" The doctor took a deep breath and looked around. The other nodded. She was right. They couldn't give up just like that! There was no real reason for that. Determined they stood up.

Lieutenant Krieg looked at his watch and swore under his breath. "Damn! I'm already late for my shift. One day Commander Ford is going to have my head for this!" He looked up at Dr Westphalen. "You'll tell me when you find out anything?" He asked. "I'll try to be back as soon as possible."

The woman nodded simply. "I'll start examining right away and we'll see." With that they stood up. Justine was going to accompany the doctor and stay at Lucas' side. Ben hurried out of the room and towards the Bridge, hoping sincerely that Commander Ford would show some understanding even if Ben couldn't tell him exactly why he was late again – of course it was because of Lucas but Ben couldn't tell the Commander what had happened this night. Captain Bridger had said that was going to inform the crew himself if it was really necessary. But right now they were all still clinging to the small hope that Lucas hadn't meant the same thing as Darwin had done.

Captain Bridger also excused himself; he would go to his quarters for a while. The old man was fighting an internal struggle. While he wanted to watch Lucas for the whole time to find out the true meaning of his words he knew that he needed to get himself together again. Right now he was on the edge of losing control over himself and he knew that he couldn't do that; he was the Captain and even if the world was falling apart he needed to remain in control for the sake of those who trusted him. But being the one to keep his cool had never been so hard before! This was one of the rare occasions in which Bridger wished that he could have stayed on his island and led the peaceful life of a hermit.

*

When he reached his quarters Bridger headed directly for the small bathroom that was linked to his room – one of the few luxuries that the post of a Captain held. There he turned on the cold water of the washbasin and splashed his face repeatedly, trying to ease the heat that was coursing through his body and the throbbing headache. Bridger buried his head in his hands and took some deep breaths. The water was still running, its sound comforting in a strange way against the quiet of the room. After a few minutes Bridger finally lifted his head again and stared into the mirror. His own face was staring back at him, his eyes burning in their intense.

Then the Captain let out his breath determined and straightened his shoulders. He turned off the water and headed back into his room where he switched on the video hologram of the Professor. With a hiss the mist on which the Professor was hologramed came blowing down and the virtual man's features got clearer.

"Hello Captain." The Professor's technical voice greeted Bridger.

"Hello." It didn't strike Bridger as strange anymore that he was talking to a computer-face that was merely accessing different sources of information to give its answers. In the time that he had spent aboard the seaQuest Captain Bridger had grown to accept and even like the conversations with the hologram that helped him find his ease again in difficult times or to overcome smaller personal crisis.

"You seem troubled." The Professor detected in his calm computer-way.

"Lucas woke up from his fever early this morning." Bridger said and sighed.

"Well, this seems like a good thing me, considering that the young Mister Wolenczak was very sick for the last days and you were very worried. So why this rather depressive mood?" The hologram stated in its neutral voice.

Bridger sighed again and started pacing in his room. "Yes, you should think that we'd be overjoyed with this development. But you don't know yet what Lucas said when he woke up." He paused, tortured by this memory. In his mind Bridger still could hear the pleading tone in the teenager's voice. "He said: 'Light is dark and one.' The same thing that Darwin said when he was so sick and wanted to leave the seaQuest to return to his pod."

"And now you are worried that the young Mister Wolenczak is asking for the same thing?" The Professor inquired.

"Yes." Bridger confessed mostly to himself. "I don't know what I am supposed to do... and I'm also afraid what will happen if he means exactly that..."

"Happens to whom? To him or to you?" Truth to be told this was the actual question for Bridger now. In the relatively short time that they had known each other Lucas had grown immensely important to the Captain. The teenager had been one of the main reasons why Bridger had stayed on the seaQuest after the 'Stark-incident'. He had brought new joy in the old man's sad life with his brilliant mind, his youthful mischief, his ever helpful and friendly manner and his repeating proofs of his unconditional trust in the Captain. There were days when the old man didn't know how he deserved all this. The thought of loosing this all again hurt more than anything else.

"I'm not sure..."

"Well, but you let the dolphin go when he asked for it." Another simple statement from the hologram that highlighted exactly what was troubling the Captain.

"Yes, because it turned out to be the only way. But it hurt though." Bridger paused. "It was one of the hardest decisions in my life for me."

"And maybe it's time for another decision like that."

Bridger stared at the swaying picture of the man for a long while, thinking, fighting with himself. Finally he said: "Maybe you are right. What matters now is what's best for Lucas and not what I want. But that doesn't make things easier for me."

"Life has never been easy – you should know that by now I would have guessed."

"Yeah, we'll just have to see..." Bridger looked at his clock. "I think I'll go now and look after Lucas for myself..." As an afterthought he added. "Thank you."

The hologram gave an accepting nod just before the Captain shut it off. The Professor was right, he mused, turning to leave his quarters. Life had never been easy and that was what made it worth living.

*~*

Meanwhile Dr Westphalen had been examining Lucas who had woken up shortly after she returned to Med Bay with Justine. Lucas had once again endured the whole procedure without saying a word. The teenager was sitting on his bed with behavior bearing much resemblance to the one he had shown before Justine had come to seaQuest. He was staring at his hands in complete silence and showed no resistance when he was moved around or probed by the doctor. Neither he responded to any of her careful questions and attempts to make him talk. Lucas' mind seemed to be leagues away, in a land of dreams. His eyes were dull and his hands were shaking lightly – the fever had taken very much out of his already weakened body and these effects showed.

After listening to his breathing Dr Westphalen put the stethoscope away, quite satisfied with the results of her medical examination: While Lucas' sickness – whatever it had been caused by – wasn't cured to a hundred percent yet, the boy should be physically fine and back to normal in a few days. And with some more rest and care he would quickly get stronger again, too.

However, what had Dr Westphalen worried was Lucas' absent-minded behavior. It was just like it had been before Justine had helped the teenager to come out of it.

"Lucas," the doctor probed once again. "Come on my boy... Please tell us what's going on... Lucas!" She took him by the shoulders and gave the boy a light shaking, trying to get a reaction out of him. But Lucas only turned his head away so that he didn't have to look into Dr Westphalen's eyes. The woman sighed deeply and patted his head before she turned away. Justine was standing in the back of the room, watching her young friend quietly. Dr Westphalen nodded at her, indicating the Justine should talk to Lucas now.

Taking a deep breath the young woman stepped to the boy's side and took up his hands to let him know that she was there. Lucas ignored her.

"Hey Lucas!" Justine spoke to him in a quiet voice. "How are you doing?" Silence was the only answer she got.

"You know, you had us worried for quite a while but Dr Westphalen said that you'll be fine soon. What do you say now?" Lucas still kept silent, staring at his hands which Justine was stroking the whole time.

"Come on, Lucas, talk to me. They say that you want to leave us, that you want to go – is that really true?" When Lucas still wouldn't answer Justine gently took his face into her hands and turned it towards her so that the teenager had to look at her. However, Lucas let his eyes wander away, trailing through the room without remaining at one spot for more than a second. Eventually Lucas looked at Justine and they locked eyes. Green eyes stared into grey ones.

"Come on, Lucas, tell me what's going on! You know that you can trust me!" Justine whispered with an urgent tone.

*~*

Lucas was sitting in the corner of the dark room, rocking himself back and forth. The laughing faces had disappeared. He was finally alone. Alone in the dark. He didn't know how long he had been here or what was going to come next. A heavy, deafening silence lay around him like a cloak. Lucas was worried for his family. What had happened to the dolphins? They had simply disappeared and then the boy had run away from the faces of those people. Lucas still had the feeling that he knew them but he just couldn't quite place them. Then he pushed this glimpse of a thought away – what mattered now was his family! They were hurt, or even dead – or had it all merely been a dream? Anyway, Lucas had to get to them. But how?

Suddenly Lucas felt something caressing his cheek. Mother? No, there was only a young woman – she had been one of the faces. What was she doing here in his corner of the dark room? The woman's lips were moving; maybe she was saying something but Lucas couldn't make out the words. Instead he looked around. What had happened to the dark room? Lucas was now sitting on a soft bed in a light room. In the wall of steel there was a tube made of glass and it was filled with – water! All water was flowing to a stream and all streams were eventually leading to the ocean. So if he could follow the tube, maybe Lucas could get to the ocean and find his family. But Lucas knew that he wouldn't be able to do it alone. He had no idea how to get out of here but perhaps the woman could help him – after all she had found him here in the darkness that had surrounded him. And she seemed nice enough to him. Her green eyes were piercing his; deep calm pools. Her lips were moving again. This time Lucas could make out some of the words.

"... Lucas... tell... going on... trust..."

But it was rather the sound of her voice than what the woman said that registered to Lucas' mind. Her pleasant voice was soft, but with a hidden strength that woke his trust. If anyone would understand that Lucas needed to go back to the ocean to his family it would be her. The boy only had to make her understand! So he decided to give it a chance; it was all or nothing now.

*~*

When Bridger entered Lucas' room in Med Bay he found Justine standing in front of the boy, staring into his eyes. And Lucas was looking back at her in complete silence, his body unmoving. The Captain was about to greet Lucas by announcing that he was back but Dr Westphalen who was standing a few feet away from him silenced Bridger with a gesture of her hand. Lucas hadn't been anywhere close to this attentive since he woke up and now the doctor didn't want Justine to loose the boys attention.

So Bridger kept silent and merely watched the young pair. For minutes the room was completely silent. Lucas seemed to be thinking very concentrated about something. After what seemed like an eternity Lucas slowly, almost hesitantly licked his lips, wetting them so that he could say something. Then he squeezed Justine's hands lightly and leaned a little forward to her face. The boy's gaze was extremely intense as if he was willing Justine to understand him as he spoke.

His voice was hoarse and Lucas was fighting to get out the words, stressing each of them.

"Light... is dark... and one!"

*~*

The threesome could only stare at Lucas for a minute. Bridger felt a heavy lump come to his throat and he noticed out of the corner of his eyes how Dr Westphalen held a hand in front of her mouth trying to suppress a sob.

"Oh my God!" she whispered.

For her too there was no longer any doubt: Lucas was asking to leave. Anybody who heard the boy's tone and saw his desperate eyes had to see and admit it. But even though the Captain, the doctor and Justine couldn't deny it any longer would they also be able to accept it?

Bridger was still fighting to win his voice back in order to say something when he noticed that they had lost the teenager's attention. Lucas was looking at the aqua tubes with the smallest smile finding its way to his lips. The Captain didn't have to turn around to know that Darwin was there.

Now the dolphin was the new center of Lucas' attention. The boy slowly stood up from his place on the examination table, gathering all his strength, and walked past the three adults, ignoring their looks completely. He slowly made his way across the room towards the tube, swaying. His step was insecure and slow, several times he was close to stumbling. But Darwin's eyes were firmly fixed on him and kept him going. Finally Lucas reached his destination, breathing heavily. Darwin nodded happily and clicked and whistled various tones. A smile – a little strained though – spread across Lucas' face. The boy traced the dolphin's outlines on the glass of the tube, trying to touch him. Darwin swam even closer, his snout touching the tube. Lucas placed his right hand exactly over the animal's snout, bringing them as close together as the glass would allow it. The teenager's breaths came very fast, he seemed to be close to hyperventilating, yet his eyes sparkled.

Bridger stepped unnoticed behind Lucas, amazed by the sight. It had been a long time since they had seen Lucas so content for the last time. It fitted that once again Darwin had achieved it. The teenager breathed a delighted tone that sounded very much like a laughter.

"Dar.... Dar.... Darwin...." he mumbled.

"Yes, that's right!" Bridger exclaimed behind him. The boy whirled around and looked fearfully at the Captain who had frightened him. The old man raised his hands, showing his palms to Lucas, indicating that he wouldn't harm him. The Captain tried to keep his voice calm as he continued. "It's alright... That's Darwin. Darwin." He thought for a moment then asked, "Do you want to meet him, Lucas?" The Captain threw a checking glance in Dr Westphalen's direction – she nodded.

She had seen for herself that Lucas was physically fine and furthermore she would be the last to stand in Lucas' way now.

"Sure. I'll go with you." She said and gave Lucas an encouraging smile. But the boy was already looking at the dolphin only again. Bridger gently took him by the shoulders and steered him towards the door.

"Come on, Lucas, I'll take you to the Moon Pool" Then he turned to Darwin and pointed his finger at him. "And you'll also meet us there, pal!"

The dolphin nodded and sped off. Lucas stretched his head to try and follow the animal with his eyes. He was so concentrated on his task that he didn't resist when Bridger led him down the corridors with Dr Westphalen and Justine in close pursuit. Lucas wasn't the only one eager to come to the Moon Pool and see the dolphin.

*~*

Shortly after the four entered the Moon Pool area Darwin surfaced and greeted them happily. Dr Westphalen indicated to the few scientists working in the area to leave them alone; they obeyed quietly, knowing that the doctor would have her reasons for this request. Lucas immediately walked over to the side of the pool and stroked Darwin. His breathing was very fast now, his forehead and upper lip were beaded in sweat and the boy had a look of intense concentration on his face as he listened to the dolphin's whistles. The doctor and Justine stayed in the background to give Lucas some space while Captain Bridger stepped over to the vocoder and flicked it on. As soon as Bridger was a few steps away, Lucas took his chance and climbed to Darwin into the pool, soaking his clothes completely.

"Hey, Lucas, come out!" Justine protested. "The water is freezing and without a suit you'll catch a cold."

Like expected Lucas ignored her. He grabbed Darwin's dorsal fin and the dolphin pulled him deeper into the pool. There Lucas clinched close to Darwin, seeming unwilling to ever let go again. His wet blonde hair framed his pale face, his reddened cheeks standing out in stark contrast to the whiteness. The boy's grey eyes were sparkling with the joy of being with the dolphin.

Captain Bridger watched the pair for a minute. Lucas appeared to be much more relaxed now that he was with Darwin – like it had always been, the Captain mused. The two had always been so much in tune and now the crew finally knew why. Bridger's musing was disturbed by Dr Westphalen.

"Nathan," she said urgently, "Lucas has to get out. His body isn't strong enough yet. He'll get sick again."

Bridger nodded. As much as he hated to do this, the doctor was right. So he took up the vocoder and called Darwin – he doubted seriously that Lucas himself would have listened to him.

"Darwin! Darwin, Lucas has to come out now." He said.

The dolphin looked at Bridger but didn't move towards him. "Lucas no want out." He said instead. "Lucas Darwin swim. Lucas no go."

Bridger nodded; he had expected this. So he continued patiently. "Darwin, I know that Lucas wants to stay with you. But the water is too cold and Lucas has been sick for a long time. And if he doesn't come out he will get sick again and can't swim with you anymore."

This seemed to convince Darwin. He turned to Lucas, nudged into the boy's side with his snout and gave a few fast whistles. Bridger waited for the translation of the vocoder as he wanted to know what Darwin had said to Lucas – but none came. The vocoder's error light blinked. It hadn't been able to define the "words" that Darwin had used. But Lucas seemed to have understood them nevertheless. However, he didn't look very convinced by them. Yet, he trusted the dolphin enough not to resist as he pulled the boy back to the three waiting people. Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen helped him climb out of the pool. Lucas lips were already turning blue and he was shivering violently. So Justine and the doctor led Lucas away to get him some dry clothes. While being walked out the boy threw longing glances back at the dolphin before the three walked around a corner. Bridger stayed with Darwin. When the threesome were gone he turned back to the dolphin.

"Hey pal," he bent down and petted the animal's bump gently. "Thank you for your help. I don't think we would have convinced Lucas to come out of the pool without your help."

Darwin gave a proud blow, spraying the Captain. "Lucas Darwin friend. Darwin help." He declared simply.

"I know that Darwin. I know that you are Lucas' friend. But I am also his friend and as his friend I want to help him. But for that I have to really understand Lucas' problem and what he expects me to do. and that's why I need your help now, pal. Do you understand Lucas?"

"Darwin Lucas friend. Darwin understand."

"Can you tell me?" Bridger asked and leaned closer unconsciously.

Darwin nodded. "Lucas light is dark and one." He said the words that Bridger was beginning to hate so much like it was the clearest thing in the world.

Bridger sighed deeply. "Yes Darwin, Lucas said the same thing. But what does that mean? You have to tell me pal."

The dolphin gave an annoyed blow, seeming frustrated by the Captain's ignorance. But then he explained nevertheless. "Lucas sad. Lucas miss pod. Lucas afraid. Lucas leave seaQuest. Lucas go back to pod." After that Darwin gave a last blow and dove away in search of his friend. The audience was over. Bridger was left alone in the wide area of the pool. The only sound was the splashing of the water.

In strong contrast to his shocked, immobile exterior Bridger's mind was racing. 'Lucas miss pod' They had strongly suspected this from the beginning: Lucas was longing for the family he had grown up with. Justine's presence had enough of a substitute for a while but wasn't any longer. 'Lucas go back to pod' What Lucas really needed was his true family - the dolphins.

'Lucas leave seaQuest' This was what hit Bridger the most. That Lucas really wanted to leave the seaQuest. To leave him. The boy had become like a son to Bridger in the short time they had known each other. The old man didn't know what he would do it he was to loose Lucas like he had lost Robert. Could he really let Lucas go? Would he be able to stand it, be able to make the decision?

But this wasn't about him Bridger reminded himself. It was about Lucas. And Lucas clearly wanted to leave. Like the Professor had said: It was time to make one of those decision which would were the hardest and of which you knew that they would change your life ultimately.

It was only that Bridger wasn't sure if he would be able to do it all alone this time and if he did whether it would be the right one.

*~*~*