Author's
note: Special thanks go to my wonderful
beta reader Persephone (Tak!) and my friend Tanja for always nagging me to write faster ;-).
And now on
with the story!
*~*~*
Katie
Hitchcock was actually known for keeping her cool head in the most difficult
and demanding situations. But right now the Lieutenant was close to losing her
temper and freaking out; close to knocking her ex-husband out cold and/or tying
him down. It wasn't that she didn't understand him but Ben's constant pacing up
and down the staff room floor was really wearing on her nerves.
About half
an hour ago Captain Bridger had asked the entire Senior Staff to come to the
Staff room because he wanted to tell them something important. After the last
month's events it wasn't hard to guess that it would be something about Lucas. But what? Now the Senior Staff was waiting for the Captain
to come and start the meeting; the only ones still missing were Dr Westphalen,
Justine and the Captain himself.
Commander
Ford and Chief Crocker were sitting at the table like Lieutenant-Commander
Hitchcock while Lt. Ortiz and Lt. O'Neil were standing in the far corner of the
staff room. Everyone was trying to distract themselves, more or less
successfully: Ortiz and O'Neil were 'playing' with the technology, Chief
Crocker kept folding and unfolding and refolding a handkerchief and Commander
Ford was simply staring at his hands. Ben Krieg was pacing back and forth –
much to Hitchcock's irritation and anger. Finally she couldn't stand it any
longer. When Ben walked past her again she grabbed his wrist with an iron like
grip and hissed, "For all that's holy, Ben, sit
down or otherwise I won't guarantee for nothing!"
Ben stared
at his ex-wife and abruptly stopped his pacing and brooding. Katie's icy blue
eyes were flashing dangerously. Ben knew that glare and that tone in her voice
very well from the last critical months of their marriage. They didn't allow any contradiction.
Automatically Ben obeyed and sat down at a free seat next to the Lieutenant.
Ben played with his fingers, trying to distract himself now that he couldn't
pace anymore. But after less then three minutes he couldn't stand it any longer
and he jumped up again, beating down onto the table with his fist.
"Oh, to
hell with it!" he swore. "What do you think the Captain's going to tell us?" He
looked around. The present members of the Senior Staff looked at him with
worried faces. Some of them shrugged with their shoulders.
"Whatever
it is, we'll know soon enough." Commander Ford stated and nodded towards the
door. Dr Westphalen and Justine were just entering and shortly after them came
Captain Bridger. The gathered crew stood in unison, showing their rightful
respect to the Captain. Even Justine, who was a civilian, straightened her
shoulders and stood in a respectful way, like all civil people do when
surrounded by the military.
The Captain
looked shortly at each of the members, the expression on his face unreadable.
"At ease,"
he said, "and have a seat."
The men and
women did as bid and looked expectantly at Bridger. And the old man didn't keep
them waiting for very long and came straight to the point.
"I think
you will have guessed the reason for this meeting by now. It's about Lucas."
With this introduction Bridger told them of the last days developments,
beginning with Lucas' sickness, his 'light is dark and one', the
meaning behind this demand and finally what
The room
was completely silent; nobody said a word, not knowing what was to be said.
Captain Bridger looked at his crew. Some of them were returning his looks –
here and there in their eyes the Captain saw the betraying glittering of unshed
tears; others refused to meet the old man's glare, unable to stand his unspoken
question. Because that much was sure for the members of the Senior Staff: Had
Bridger already known what he was going to do, he would have told them by now.
But as this wasn't the case it could mean only one thing: Bridger was asking
them to help him with the decision of whether to grant Lucas his wish or not,
though so far Bridger hadn't voiced this directly. However, nobody felt able to
do this now and say something. And so they sat in complete silence, the only
sound was the breathing of nine people, sitting in the room.
Finally
Justine couldn't stand it any longer. Someone had to say something, had to
break the silence. And – since she was the one who had known Lucas the longest
and therefor better than the others – Justine felt she should be the one. No
matter what the others might think or say, should the Captain ask her point to
black if she would let Lucas go, Justine's decision was already made – as it
had been for years now, for secretly the young woman had feared for a long time
that this day might come eventually: The day when Lucas would demand to go back
into the ocean. And it was clear to Justine that she wouldn't keep her friend
from doing what his heart told him to do. It seemed that now was the time that
Lucas' friends aboard the seaQuest had to make up their minds as well and
realize this. And it was in Justine's hands to make them understand the way she
did.
She cleared
her throat, indicating that she wanted to say something,
and immediately all eyes in the room were focused upon her. Justine gulped
nervously; this would be hard. After all, Lucas' friends had never seen the boy
as anything special – okay, he was a genius and worked on a submarine at the
age of fifteen, but for them he had never been that special. It was hard for the crew to imagine and to accept the
life Lucas had led and it was also hard to accept that he might want to return
to that life.
But Justine
had to try and make them realize. She fought to make her voice sound casual, "I
guess Lucas never told you why he chose the name 'Lucas' among all the given
possibilities..." Two or three members of the Senior Staff shook their heads,
others gave her quizzical looks – what was she trying to say?
Justine
continued undeterred, answering her own question. "Of course he didn't... up
until a short while ago you never knew that he chose his name himself and after
that it wasn't exactly the one thing to talk about. But now I would like to
tell you the story, because I think it might help you understand Lucas and his
wish better. Well, when Lucas was about twelve years old, it was decided that
he should live a 'regular' life in a normal family with a 'regular' name. Then
someone said that Lucas might as well choose his new name himself since he had
to live with it. So we – at that time I was already spending most of my free
time at the institute with Lucas – anyway, we read a veeeerrrry long list of boys'
names to Lucas. He listened intently to all of them, some he repeated quietly, at others he shook his head immediately. When we were
finished with the list Lucas repeated some of the names again, listening to
their sound. Finally he said in a convinced voice that he wanted to be called
'Lucas'. We asked him if he was sure about it and he said that, yes, if it had
to be one of these names, it should be 'Lucas'. A few days later I asked him
"Why 'Lucas'?" and he said it was the closest to his name in the dolphin
language and when he would go back to the ocean and to the dolphins, he would
have no problems to adjust to his name again..." Justine paused, her voice
cracking a little. "Lucas was always convinced that he would go back one final
day 'when he had lived with the humans long enough".
Having
finished her story Justine looked around. Once again she was only met by a awkward silence from the members of the Senior Staff who
were fighting with themselves to cope with what they heard – Justine's message had
hit home. The process of understanding and accepting Lucas' way of life had set
in. The young woman looked at the Captain – Bridger was one of the few in the
crew who didn't avoid her gaze now. But while the glare that Ben had given her
had been an unbelieving and almost angry one, like he was barely holding his
temper, Bridger's expression was completely calm. He studied her face like she
was studying his and Justine thought she could see in his eyes, how his mind
was racing. Finally after what seemed like an eternity even though it couldn't
have been longer than two minutes, Bridger broke their look, closed his eyes
and heaved a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again the Captain wore a
determined expression on his face and Justine simply knew that he had made his decision. The old man nodded towards her
before he spoke up, all eyes in the room turning to him in an instant.
"I guess
Justine's story pretty much sums up why we are here now: Lucas wants to leave
the seaQuest and go back to the life he led with the dolphins. And he's asking
us for permission to do that." Bridger paused shortly, gathering his thoughts.
"But I can't do that." Ignoring Justine's sharp intake he continued, "I may be
Captain of this boat and this crew but still I don't feel able to decided
something like this all alone. So I am making this a team decision. I'll ask you straight to the point now: Hands
up, who of you wants to let Lucas go back into the ocean?" Bridger was met with
eight hard stares. Nobody moved, nobody raised his hand.
Bridger
nodded. "I've expected that much. So, let me rephrase this question: Who of you
is willing to let him go and grant Lucas his wish?"
Justine was
the first to raise her hand; the others followed albeit hesitantly, exchanging
doubtful looks. The Captain looked proudly at his crew. He hadn't expected any
other reaction. Bridger himself was one of the last to bring his hand up. Then
all eyes trailed expectantly to the only person whose hand wasn't raised.
Ben Krieg
was sitting in his seat, looking miserably and beginning to breathe heavily. He
saw his friends looking at him and felt his hands start to sweat. How could he
do this? How could he send his best friend aboard the seaQuest, his partner in
crime, the one he regarded as a younger brother; away to live in
wilderness? Yet, this seemed to be
exactly what Lucas wanted; Ben had been there when the boy asked for it. And
the Lieutenant knew that he would never be able to forget Lucas' look and the
tone of his voice when he said those damn five words.
Ben was
struggling for a decision. He looked at Justine; the young woman was literally
pleading him with her eyes to raise his hand. Those shining deep green eyes...
Ben remembered a time, not so long ago, when Lucas' crystal blue eyes used to shine
just like that, glittering with life and mischief as he and Ben planned one of
their famous jokes. And what did the Lieutenant see now when he looked into the
boy's eyes? A dull grey, devoid all feelings... With this thought Ben's
decision was finally made. After a last look around he raised his hand ever so
slowly, knowing fully that he was just ultimately abandoning his friend to his
fate.
Justine
smiled gratefully at him and Bridger also nodded approvingly. But Ben couldn't
stand their looks right now, so he closed his eyes and bowed his head. Katie
Hitchcock watched her ex-husband with concern. She knew that this had to be
hard for him for she had seen how close Ben and the boy had grown over the last
months. How would he deal with it? the Lieutenant-Commander
wondered. Hitchcock was so deep in thoughts that she missed the Captain's next
words.
"Okay, I
think that settles it," he said. "Commander Ford, set course for the Cay Sal
Bank north of Cuba. When we are there, I want you, Commander Hitchcock and
Lieutenant Ortiz, to use every available W.S.K.R. to find the dolphin pod we
saw the last time we were there. Any questions?"
"Actually, yes." Dr Westphalen spoke up, drawing the attention upon her. "What about
Lucas' parents?"
"The Wolenczaks? Yeah, what about them?"
"Well,
don't they have a say in this? After all, they are his legal parents."
At this
point Justine interfered. "I have to contradict this," she said. "Mrs. and Dr
Wolenczak have been responsible for Lucas for less than four years, a time that
Lucas mostly spent at
College. The Wolenczaks had about the least influence on Lucas' education or
anything else. I don't think that they have the right to have any saying in
this case now."
Bridger
nodded. "I agree with Justine. The entire time that Lucas has been aboard this
ship they haven't called once to see how he's doing." The Captain paused. He
had always been appalled by the behavior of the Wolenczak couple towards their
son. Even now that he knew that they weren't Lucas' biological parents, the
fact that anybody could treat their child – biological or not – like this,
showed him thus openly that they obviously didn't care the least about him, and
it outraged Bridger. When he had calmed himself again, he continued. "We can
contact them and tell them what we are going to do, but they won't be able to
prevent this."
Dr
Westphalen nodded in agreement. She wouldn't have had it any other way but
still she had felt the need to bring up this question.
Captain
Bridger looked at the members of the Senior Staff. "We are finished then, I think. You are
dismissed."
The men and
women stood up and strode out of the room. Hitchcock wanted to go over to Ben
who had spent the rest of the meeting staring at his hands, in order to try and
comfort him. But Ben quickly left the Staff room before anybody could stop him.
He had already guessed what his ex-wife was going to try but he wouldn't have
it now – first he had to come to terms with himself and the consequences of
this decision concerning Lucas.
So all that
Hitchcock could do was look at Ben's retreating back before she went to the
Bridge to follow the Captain's orders.
*~*
While the
biggest part of the Senior Staff went to the Bridge, the Captain's way led him,
Dr Westphalen and Justine straight to Lucas to fill him in on the crew's
decision.
They found
the boy – where else could he have been – by the Moon Pool. One of the doctors
from the Medical Department was assigned to look after him but Lucas had
ignored him the entire time; he was busy playing with Darwin. Dr Westphalen
relieved the man from his 'watching post' and sent him back to work in the Med
Bay, which the doctor did gratefully and obviously relieved.
It wasn't that he didn't like Lucas – in contrast, he had worked with the boy a
few times before 'things went strange with Lucas' as the crew would secretly
call it and had found him to be a cooperative, friendly and concentrated young
man, always eager to please and to learn new things. However,
now that Lucas had changed so drastically the doctor, like so many other people
aboard the boat who didn't know the teenager better, felt in a way frightened
by his presence and his behavior. It was as if a mystical aura
surrounded the boy – the crew couldn't understand what he did and why, and it
made them retreat farther from Lucas. So the doctor wasn't too reluctant to
leave the boy with the Captain and the doctor and go back to his work.
Bridger
followed the doctor with his eyes when he walked out. At the door he turned
around to throw a last glance at Lucas and Bridger could literally read the
doctor's mind at the sight of the boy. 'A real pity.' Then
the man became aware of the Captain looking at him, turned away guiltily and
left.
Bridger
sighed a little at this. Yes, Lucas might seem oblivious to what was going on
around him and what people were doing but Bridger was sure that the boy noticed
how strange, how repelled people behaved around him. How could he not notice?
It was practically screaming at him, radiating from everyone. No wonder the boy
felt left alone. '... and one.'.
Well this
would end soon Bridger decided grimly and took a step forward, stopping next to
Lucas. The boy's attention, however, was focused on Darwin only, he continued
his game. Whether Lucas hadn't noticed the three adults behind him or whether
he was ignoring them on purpose, Bridger could not tell. Darwin was the one to
react to their presence. When the teenager threw the ball back to Darwin the
dolphin 'punched' it with his snout towards Bridger who caught it out of reflex.
Lucas' eyes following the ball trailed upon the Captain and immediately the
boy's body language changed. Becoming aware of the three adults, he knew that
playing with Darwin was over; whenever all three, Captain Bridger, Dr
Westphalen and Justine, came to him something was going on, mostly something
bad. The small smile he had worn died on Lucas' lips and his face became
expressionless again, his shoulders slumped down like someone had cut the
strings on a puppet and Lucas looked aside. Bridger noticed the change sadly.
Was the teenager really that uncomfortable around them?
Justine
stepped forward and took Lucas' hands in her own, a gesture that made him look
up at her. Justine smiled warmly at him.
"Lucas, I
have wonderful news for you." She said. "You'll be going back into the ocean
soon; back to your family! Isn't that great?" Lucas looked at her doubtfully,
with his head tilted to one side like a small precise bird. He didn't seem to
fully understand what Justine had just said. Then Darwin began to click and
whistle at his side and Lucas turned to stare at the dolphin. His eyes became
big and bigger and his mouth was hanging open; he wasn't yet believing what
Darwin told him.
Lucas was
breathing heavily when he turned to the three people standing next to him. He
looked intently at them as if their mere sight could confirm the heard. But
since it wasn't answering his unspoken question eventually Lucas was forced to
ask them directly. He licked his lips and whispered hesitantly, in a very
small, hoarse voice. "Really?"
Captain
Bridger answered him with an smile and a nod. "Yes
Lucas," he said. "Really. The entire Senior Staff made
this decision together. We're heading towards Cuba and there you can go to the
dolphins – that is, if that's what you want to do..." Despite the smile on his
lips, Bridger's eyes were sad when they searched to make contact with the
boy's. Lucas looked down at his feet, evading the looks of his friends. Dr
Westphalen could see his lips moving, but no sound came from them. Then she
heard him sniff repeatedly, and saw his shoulders shaking.
Was Lucas
crying? Worried she asked. "Lucas? Lucas, what's going on?"
Slowly the
boy looked up at them, his pale face framed by his blonde hair. In his eyes
unshed tears were shining.
"Home..."
Lucas whispered. "I'll be finally going home... after so long a time." The
teenager was shaking violently by now, still fighting back his tears; tears of
relief.
Bridger
stepped forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. Lucas pressed his head against
the old man's shoulder. After a minute the Captain felt how all the tension
that had built up within the last weeks flooded out of the boy and how he
started sobbing.
Bridger
buried his face in the teenager's hair and mumbled sighing: "Kiddo... oh,
kiddo..."
Lucas'
small body wrecked with sobs as he groaned into the Captain's chest. "Home...
finally – home..."
*~*
Time was a
cruel thing, Captain Bridger mused, sitting at his desk in his quarters. When
you were anxiously waiting for an event or you were unhappy and wanted time to
pass faster, it would go by ever so slowly, each single second lingering
behind, turning into an almost eternity. While, when you were happy or simply
wanted to stop time to hold and savor a certain moment it, time was flying by,
hours becoming seconds.
Right now
the seaQuest crew was experiencing a classical case of the second category:
They were heading for the area between Cuba and Florida where they would try to
find the dolphin pod in question and Lucas would leave them. Their remaining
ETA was less than 20 hours – not even an entire day. And while the Senior Staff
had agreed to let the boy go everyone was hating the
idea of Lucas leaving the seaQuest. The thought of loosing the boy who had
become their close friend, or like a brother or a son to all of them, was
unbearable. So it was natural that Lucas' friends were trying to spent as much time as possible with him.
Inwardly,
or even openly like in O'Neil's case, they were praying that Lucas would stay
with them. Did going back to the dolphins really have to mean leaving seaQuest?
Wouldn't it be enough for the teenager to see his 'family' for while? The crew
doubted that such a short visit would be sufficient but nevertheless they hoped
for it. Hope always dies last.
Lucas was
sitting by the Moon Pool most of the time, while various members of the Senior
Staff kept him company; Justine for example never left the teenager's side.
Lucas wasn't talking much, he did, however, pay a certain degree of attention
to what people were telling him. The boy appeared to be more relaxed now that
he knew that he would be brought back to his family. Yet, he seemed exhausted,
his energy spent – like a marathon runner who could finally see the finishing
line he had been striving for but didn't know if he would have strength left to
reach it.
All these
thoughts went through Bridger's head while he was sitting in his room. He had
taken a break – vehemently forced by Dr Westphalen – and had called Bill Noyce
to tell him about their plans. Of course Noyce wasn't exactly happy with it but
he had shown understanding for the crew's decision. He had already predicted
that the U.E.O. wasn't going to be too pleased about loosing their 'genius boy', one of the brightest
minds in the organization. But Noyce had also promised the Captain that he
wouldn't inform his superiors about this before Lucas was long gone from the
seaQuest – they wouldn't have any interference in this beforehand.
Thinking
about interference Bridger reached for the Comm Link and called to the Bridge.
"Lieutenant
O'Neil, any luck in reaching Mrs. or Dr Wolenczak?"
"Unfortunately no, Sir." O'Neil's disembodied voice came back. "I've tried for hours now. All I
was told is that Mrs. Wolenczak is on a business trip and can't be reached."
Even though
O'Neil couldn't see it Bridger nodded – Lucas had told him once that it was
always like that when he tried to reach his adoptive mother. But the Captain
held back a rather unfriendly comment about the woman and asked instead: "And
what about Lucas' father?"
"Well, at
least I got through to his secretary who told me that Dr Wolenczak was in a
very important meeting and couldn't be spoken to." The Lieutenant paused and
Bridger could hear how angered he was by the way he spat out the next words. " When I called the next time, the man told me again that Dr
Wolenczak was a very busy man but at least I got around to tell him that I was
calling because of Lucas. Then Dr Wolenczak told me through his secretary that
any legal or medical things were in your hand, Captain, ever since Lucas came
aboard the seaQuest. And he added, I repeat word by word, should the boy have
messed up something again, we were to contact his lawyer who would handle it."
O'Neil finished his report with an angry snort.
Bridger too
was furious about the doctor's reaction. Again all he could do was to tell himself to keep calm. "Thank you, Lieutenant. At least now
we can say we tried." He shut down the Comm Link. Sighing, Bridger drove a hand
through his graying hair. What a great pair the Institute had chosen to be
Lucas' parents he thought sarcastically. Two people who would gratefully give
away all responsibility at the first arising occasion to a man they hardly knew
and then wouldn't bother to check on their son for one time! He slammed his
fist down on the table, trying to release some tension. The old man couldn't
define exactly what he was feeling now: Anger towards the Wolenczaks,
pity for Lucas who had had to live with them or simply despair faced with the
present situation. While anger was the easiest for now, Bridger knew it
wouldn't do any good or change anything. None of it would!
The Captain
had actually wanted to return to Lucas' side as soon as possible but decided
against it for now. First he would take a shower, get some more rest and try to
calm down some more. Lucas had always reacted very sensitive to the moods of
people surrounding him and lately this sensitivity had been further increased . Any anger or frustration emanating from the
Captain, whoever it was directed at, would make the boy retreat from Bridger.
And he didn't want that to happen right now.
Telling himself that Lucas was in good hands right now and didn't
need him that desperately, Bridger stepped into the shower and tried to let
himself relax for a short while.
*~*
Meanwhile
Justine and Katie Hitchcock were sitting quietly side by side on a staircase by
the Moon Pool, watching Lucas. Music was playing softly from the speakers that
normally gave the translation of the vocoder. But since Darwin was momentarily
out feeding, they had decided to use the speakers in the room rather than
setting up an extra stereo system in here. Lucas was standing a few feet away
from the two women with his eyes closed, swaying slightly in time with the
music, a content smile on his lips.
To
Hitchcock it was an intriguing sight. Sure, she too like most people liked the rather soft tunes of classical
music but never before had she seen anyone so taken with the music. It seemed
as if Lucas had lost himself in a world beyond Hitchcock's understanding.
When the
Lieutenant-Commander told Justine as much, the young woman answered her,
nodding her head. "Yeah, it has been like that since the first time he was
introduced to music. Obviously Lucas 'hears' it different from the way we do.
Or rather, he feels it literally. Once he told me that it filled him in every
vibe of his body, right down to the tip of his toes and that it made him feel
like home." The two of them fell silent again, watching their mutual friend.
Hitchcock
found that she enjoyed this silence very much. First she had been afraid, not
knowing how to deal with Lucas now. When she had finished her shift on the
Bridge, she had hesitated but eventually decided to come
visit Lucas anyway – he was after all still her friend and deserved as much.
From what she had heard pretty much the entire Senior Staff had been here by
now. Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen, of course, but also O'Neil and Ortiz
had come as soon as they got the chance to do so. They had come and simply
talked, entertaining Lucas with gossip from the boat, the newest sport events
or anything they had been able to think of. And it had been clear that Lucas,
in his shy and withdrawn manner, enjoyed their presence. Even Commander Ford
and Chief Crocker had come to pay a visit. While they weren't as close to Lucas
as the others, not because they didn't like the boy but simply for the lack of
shared interest, it had been a nice gesture. When he was there Lucas had
studied the Commander's face for several minutes and then smiled, as if he had
found an answer to a question. And Ford who really wasn't the person for
showing his feelings openly or for great words had smiled back and known deep
down inside that Lucas regarded him as one of his true friends.
Hitchcock's
musing was interrupted by Justine's soft voice. "I never believed Krieg was
this low! Seems I was wrong..."
The
Lieutenant-Commander looked at her quizzically. "Ben – low?!?
What do you mean?"
Justine
turned to look at Hitchcock, her green eyes shining with a mixture of
disappointment and anger. "I always thought that Krieg... Ben was Lucas' friend, at least Lucas told me so in his calls and letters.
When I first arrived here, too, Ben seemed to care very much about Lucas and
his welfare. But now? Now, that Lucas is going to
leave? Everyone has been here to spent some time with
him, even the Commander, even though he hadn't the slightest clue what to do or
say. Only Ben hasn't shown up once since the Senior Staff meeting!" The young
woman beat her fist angrily into her palm.
Hitchcock
stared at her in surprise. She hadn't know of this. Ben of all people not coming to see Lucas? Justine had to be
mistaken, this couldn't be! Nothing would keep her ex-husband away from his
friend. Nothing – except for himself... Something really grave had to be going
on.
"That can't
be. I'm sure Ben has got a good reason..." She said, trying to convince
herself.
"There
better be!" Justine muttered. Then she looked at Hitchcock intently. "You know
him pretty well, don't you?"
"Yeah,
well, we were married for a short while, so to speak..."
"I see..."
For a
moment they fell silent again before Hitchcock stood up, having made up her
mind. "Tell you something, Justine." She said. "I'm gonna go and find Ben now
and see for myself, what his reason is. Be sure if it isn't a real good reason,
as to say as much as Ben's lying around somewhere dead, I'm gonna make sure that he comes down here!"
Justine
nodded seriously. "Good." She turned to look at Lucas who was still swaying to
the music and murmured. "Lucas needs his friend now..."
*~*~*
