Chapter 2 The Longest Chapter

Luigi: Love letters to Arwen? Huh. And I always thought Mario was gay.

Link: ::snigger::

Boromir: Why are we here?

Legolas: Some say that three goddesses created the world and the left as a relic the Tri- Hey! Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Boromir: (shifts uncomfortably) Well...

Merry and Pippin: Aaargh! Ghosts!

Pippin: We SAW you die!

Boromir: All right, all right , it was my stunt du-u-bble!(starts crying) Happy :sniff: now?

Gandalf: I Gandalf the Gr- er, Gandalf the Whi- um, I, the great Gandalf, will now inspire you with good advice.

Aragorn: I thought you were dead, too.

Gandalf: This may be the case.

Frodo: Whoa. That was deep.

Just then, Bowser flew over.

Peach: Did you forget about me?!!

Luigi: Hey, Peach, could you mind waiting? Me and some movie stars are having a philisofolilical conversation. ::grins::

Aragorn: We were?

Gimli: Has anyone noticed that I haven't said anything?

Link: Well, I only had four lines and a snigger.

Frodo: Give me wisdom, great Gandalf. Ooooommmmmm, ooooommmmm.

Gimli: Does this story have any point, plot, etc.?

Everyone else: No.

Peach: You forgot about me again!!::pouts::

Luigi: Could someone go save her?

Gimli: Since no one else cares about me, I'll do it.

Gimli leapt on top of Legolas, jumped off, and went about attacking Bowser.

Legolas: Ow! Those boots hurt, you know...

Sam: I have no lines! Everyone hates me! They all think I'm stupid because I don't know what eavesdropping is and I've got a stupid accent!

Frodo: Basically, yeah.

Sam: I must become a hacker!

Sam stole a laptop that was sitting in a tree and started hacking.

Luigi: Do they even have laptops in Middle-earth?

Aragorn: Oh, like the Mushroom Kingdom is technologically advanced?

Legolas: Does anyone care that that dwarf's boots ruined my perfect blonde hair?

Pippin: (sees something on the ground) Whats this? (looks closer) AAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Merry: What?

Pippin: Legolas's ear fell off!! AAAAHHHH!

Everyone looked at Legolas.

Legolas: hee... hee?

Frodo: You never said you had fake ears.

Legolas: You never asked.

Sam fell asleep, then woke up. There were words on the computer screen.

Computer Screen: Follow the white rabbit.

Sam: Huh?

A white rabbit jumped past. Sam followed it three steps where a person was.

Person: Hello Sam.

Sam: Are you Morpheus? And what is the Matrix? And why did I just ask that? Why do I care?

Morpheus: Here is the answer to your questions. (holds out his hands where there is a red pill and a blue pill)

Everyone else: Ooooh.

Sam: Why are you watching?

Link: Its either that or talk meaninglessly forever.

Morpheus: IfyoutaketheredpillitllbegoodcuzyouwontbeasleepingooandifyoutakethebluepillidontcarebecuzyourestupidandidontknowwhyimheresopickoneNOW.

Sam: Huh?

Frodo: That was deep.

Gandalf: Not as deep as I, Gandalf the Cool.

Sam: (shutting his eyes) Eenie meenie minie moe. I pick this hand.

Morpheus: Yay! He picked the blue pill! I don't have to do more unplugging today!!

Morpheus disappeared.

Gimli: I just rescued Peach.

Legolas: No one cares.

Luigi: Wow. He took about five minutes when it usually takes Mario a year or two.

Link: I'm feeling outnumbered here. I mean, theres Luigi, Peach, and Bowser, and nine of you Lord of the Rings people, but I'm the only Legend of Zelda character here!

Gimli: Ha ha.

Link: Drop dead.

There was a brilliant flash of light and suddenly Zelda, Saria, Malon, Ruto, the little girl who chases the Cuccoo in Hyrule Castle Town whose name was Sue, and Romani appeared.

Link: Cool!

Zelda: Link, where did you go? I was just about to tell you about how the goddesses created Hyrule and how you've got to save the world.

Link: Uh...

Malon and Romani: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Romani: Omigaa! I HAVE A TWIN!

Malon: Get away from me, you freak!

Saria: I thought Kokiri weren't supposed to leave the forest or they'd die... uh-oh...

Saria disappeared.

Link: Zelda, make her come back!

Zelda: I thought you liked me more than Saria!

Ruto: No way, loser! He's in love with me! He even got engaged! Hah!

Zelda (putting on one of her pouty faces she gets when you tell her you don't believe her): Is that true Link?

Link: Remind me again why I wanted them here.

Pippin (helpfully):Because you felt outnumbered.

Link: Oh.

Gimli: Got enough lines yet, hatboy?

Navi: HEY!

Link: Oh no...

Navi: Why don't we ask Saria?!

Legolas: Ask Saria what?

Navi: Listen! Look! Watch out! Maybe we should try the Song of Time!

Link: I need a shrink...

Navi: HEY! HEY! HEY!

Everyone else: SHUT UP!!!

Navi: Listen! Look! Hey! Watch-

Zelda, Malon, Ruto, Romani, Merry,Pippin, Sam, Frodo, Gandalf, and Luigi smacked Navi at the same time as Link and Aragorn hit her with their swords, Legolas shot her with an arrow, and Gimli sliced her with an axe.

Navi: ...help...

Link: Yay! No more Navi!

A little yellow fairy then flew in.

Tatl: Hey, #!%*&!!* I'm Tatl!

Link: Ohgodno...