The crazyness continues!


3. Some more interesting classes.

They walked to Hagrid's house, to be greeted by the same wizard they had met in Dumbledore's office.

"Ah, there's the other part of the class." The wizard shouted. "Hurry up!"

"Great, still with the Slytherins." Harry muttered. His fellow Gryffindors didn't seem to pleased with the Slytherins either.

The Slytherins looked at the panting and red Gryffindors with a smug grin. "Well Weasley, good to see your face is matching
your hair." Draco greeted them.

"Just wait 'till you've been chased by a walking trunk." Ron replied.

"A walking trunk? No thanks, I'd rather go to the nut house instead." The other Slytherins laughed.

"A walking trunk? I see you've met the Luggage then." The wizard smiled at Ron. "No wonder you're so red. Rincewind said he
was going to let him chase you lot. But all things aside, you're here to take Care of Magical Creatures." He walked over to
a trunk, and for a minute Harry was scared that it would be another living trunk, but it was a normal one. The wizard took
out a familiar looking crossbow. "Right. I'm Mustrum Ridcully, Archchancellor of the Unseen University of Ankh-Morpork, but
at the moment, I'll be teaching you how take care of magical creatures. The first you'll need are weapons. A cross bow is
usually good, but...yes, you with your hand up?"

"Uhm, are we supposed to shoot the creatures?" Hermione asked.

"Yes. I said I would teach you how to take care of them, and shooting them is the best way."

"Isn't that a bit...cruel?" Hermione asked.

"So? Have you been talking to Stibbons are something? He was against this as well, but honestly, who's the teacher? I am.
There will come time when you'll be glad I've taught you how to use a crossbow. Now, you with the blond hair, come here." He
pointed to Draco, who stepped forward. "Right, this is your crossbow. Point at that tree over there, and shoot." Ridcully
had pointed to a tree about fifty feet away. Draco aimed, shot and missed. "Well, can't say you didn't try. A bit
disappointing. I can see your previous teacher wasn't any good."

"That's because he taught us how to take actual care of them, and not how to kill them." Harry burst out.

"Then it's about time you learned. I know killing creatures may sound like Defence Against Dark Arts, but I know Rincewind
isn't planning on teaching you that, so I thought I would. If you're going to be all girly about it, you may join the
cooking class Nanny Ogg'll be teaching next time." Ridcully said.

"Cooking?" Ron asked.

"Yes lad, cooking. Can't teach girls how to use a crossbow. Better let Nanny teach how to take care of dead creatures by
cooking them."

Hermione looked very angry. "You're saying I can't learn how to shoot animals because I'm a girl?!" She shouted.

"Exactly. You females are better in the kitchen and let us males do the hard work."

Most of the girls looked angry, even the Slytherin girls seemed to agree with Hermione's outburst. The remain of the hour
was spent with the boys shooting at trees and the girls handing them their crossbows, arrows and anything relevant. Needless
to say that Hermione was very cranky during lunch.

"Cheer up Herm, at least you haven't got Divination with Trelawney." Ron said, trying to cheer her up.

"Wait a minute, we haven't got Trelawney. Remember what Ridcully said? All the teachers have disappeared, including
Trelawney." Harry remembered.

Ron looked like Christmas came early this year. "You're right! At least some good came out of this."

"I hope the replacement professor for Arithmancy is better than the other two." Hermione said, glumly.

"Look on the bright side, it can't get any worse, can it?" Ron said, eating another sandwich.

He was wrong. True, Divination wasn't as gloomy without Trelawney, but the new witch, who introduced herself as Nanny Ogg,
was weird as well. Her cat Greebo, a big grey one with one of his eyes missing, stalked the room like it was his, and
decided to climb on Ron's lap, and stretch his claws a little. They easily ripped through the fabric, and Ron gritted his
teeth against the pain. Greebo laid down, and started to sleep. Ron sighed with relief, but Greebo started to smell, really
bad. When the class was over, Ron hurried to the common room to change robes in time for Transfiguration.

Hermione was already waiting there. "Hey Harry, where's Ron?"

"Went to change his robes. The new Divination teacher owns a cat, and he decided to sleep on Ron's lap." Harry answered.

"What's so bad about that?" Hermione asked.

"Well, he was clawing through Ron's and when he finally fell asleep, he started to stink." Harry explained. Just then, the
rest of the class arrived, with Ron running after them. From the other side, their teacher approached. She looked older than
McGonagall and was also wearing her hair in a bun, but looked even stricter.

"Get in." She said, and the class went in. "I'm Professor Esmeralda Weatherwax. I'm here to teach you about transfiguring
and if you fool around here, I'll have the Librarian here before you can try to look innocent." She said.

Harry looked over at Ron. "Reckon the Librarian is this orang-utan? He seems to be keeping order."

"Yes, you, what were you talking about?" The witch asked Harry.

"Er, we, er, we're discussing who the Librarian was." Harry said.

"You don't know? Well, the Librarian is keeping order and running the library. You can't miss him, he's an orang-utan." Some
students laughed, but were silenced by Weaterwaxes glare. "He really is. I wouldn't underestimate him if I were you." After
that, she started to teach them how to turn a book into a brick.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were walking back to their rooms, and discussed the day when they got there. "How's Vector's
replacement then?" Ron asked, climbing through the porthole.

"Well, at first I thought he was bit crazy, but the Bursar is great. He can explain really good." Hermione followed him.
"But by the end of the class, he said goodbye to us backwards."

Harry climbed through as well. "Trelawney's replacement isn't that bad either."

Ron groaned. "Not that bad? Look what that cat of her did to my robe!" He showed them the robe. It looked like knives went
through it.

"Looks pretty bad, aren't you wounded?" Hermione asked, looking at the robe.

"No, not really. Once the bleeding stopped it wasn't too bad. I swear, next time that cat climbs on me, I'll throw him off."
Ron said, putting his robe away. "Did we tell George's terrified of the orang-utan?" He told Hermione.

"He's the Librarian, Ron, so call him that. You wouldn't like it if I called you human and no, you haven't." She said.

Ron rolled his eyes and told her about George and his reaction to him and Harry when they startled him that afternoon. While
discussing the Librarian, Fred joined in as well. "George is still in a state of shock. I thought he wasn't scared of any
animal. Sure, I was scared at first, but I think the Librarian is an okay person. Make that an okay orang-utan." He said.

Ron smiled. "At least I have something to tease him about, instead of him teasing me with my fear of spiders."

"Come on Ron, he is acting worse than you. I swear, he hasn't said anything all day! Even our classmates are worried." Fred
said, concerned.

Ron shrugged. "He'll get over it."

Fred got up and left, probably to see if George was okay.

"Ron, can't you show a little more concern?" Hermione asked.

"Concern? For George? No way, not now when I finally know what he fears. He's had years to tease me with spiders, now it's
time for payback." Ron said, dead-serious. Hermione left as well. This left Harry and Ron, who started a game of chess.

The next morning started with breakfast, naturally. George looked a little better, but kept glancing over his shoulder to
look for the Librarian. After that, Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way to the dungeons for their first Potions without
Snape. Harry was looking forward to it, a whole lesson without Snape being insulting, sarcastic or favouring the Slytherin.
Most Gryffindors felt this way, and were cheerful. The Slytherins, and Draco in particular, looked glum. Potions was the only
class they could pick on the Gryffindors, without being punished and with a different teacher, anything could happen. They
entered the cold dungeon and took their places. In front was a chubby, short wizard, who was wearing bright and colourful
robes, with a hat sparklier and pointier than Ridcully's. He didn't look very happy.

"Welcome. I shall replace your Potions teacher, who was kind enough to leave some notes, about who were good students and
who were, in his own words, nasty little pests who were best left to rot." The wizard said. "I am the Senior Wrangler, but
you shall call me professor, or I'll take points." None of the other teachers had done this, maybe because they didn't know
they could. Harry sagged in his seat. It looked like Snape's replacement was just as worse as their usual teacher. "I'm also
the head of the Slytherins, but Mrs Whitlow has already announced that." He looked at the Slytherins. "I expect you to do
better in the House's Cup, which for the last four years has been won by the Gryffindors. Your professor has left me a note
about all classes, so I know what some of you might be up to." After this warning the Senior Wrangler started to explain how
to make Wartium, a potion used to give people warts. He was walking around class, giving tips and some sarcastic remarks,
some of them worse than Snape's.

"Man, he's just like Snape, isn't he?" Harry said, after class.

"Wonder where he found him, probably put an add: 'Wanted, incredibly unfair and cranky person to teach Potions.'" Ron said,
glum.

"Come on guys, stay positive. At least he hasn't got a personal grudge against Harry." Hermione said.

"But he has a note from Snape, and I bet he put everything about me in there, and how to be as unfair as possible." Harry
sighed and entered the History of Magic room with his friends. They were greeted by a smiling young wizard, beardless for a
change. He looked normal, compared to the other wizards they had seen. He was wearing a bright robe, but there were less
symbols on them.

"Hello, come in, I'm Ponder Stibbons, your History teacher. I thought it would be nice to start with some freshing up, see
what you remember from last year." He handed them a test about kobolds, how Hogwarts was formed and questions about wizards
Harry only remembered seeing on the Chocolate Frog cards. He wasn't the only one, Ron looked just as clueless as Harry. The
only one writing was Hermione.

After twenty minutes Stibbons took them back, and looked through it and sighed. "Most of you haven't filled in half the
questions." He said, disappointed. "How do you expect to choose the right way if you don't know the ones people made in the
past? History repeats itself, and studying it gives you an idea of what might come."

The class looked more interested than with Professor Binns, but only slightly. Stibbons seemed to have noticed this as well.
"No wonder you don't know how the witch Armadella found seven uses of dragon blood if you keep staring out the window!" The
comment was directed to Seamus, who was looking outside. "Now, I want you all to take notes, because whether you believe or
not, history IS important." With that, the wizard took the book and started a lesson on the explorer-wizard Garath and his
journeys to Asia.

During lunch, they discussed the teachers again. "I don't think Stibbons is too bad, maybe a little over-enthusiastic, but
okay." Hermione said.

"A little? I'd rather have Professor Binns, he was boring, but he didn't expect us to pay attention." Ron said, eating
another sandwich.

The afternoon held a Charms lesson, with another weird teacher, the Dean, the chubbiest wizard they had seen so far, who
started serious but was just as excited as the Gryffindors when they had to do Explospells, used to make a tiny explosion
in the air, as a diversion. After that, herbology with a dwarf named Modo, who knew at least as much about herbs as
Professor Sprout did.

And that pretty much sums up all the teachers. Scary, hey?