Thanks so much for reviewing~ do it again! This one picks up where the last one left off. Oh and the song is by Heather Nova.
Disclaimer: The characters on Friends don't belong to me.
Monica's hands trembled as she dialed the numbers. There was no answer at Rachel's. (AN: You thought it would Chandler? Right?)
"Come on Rach," she pleaded with the phone. "Pick up!"
"You've reached Rachel, Gretchen and Will. We're not available to come to the phone right now, but leave us a message and we'll get back to you," Rachel's voice said over the answering machine. Monica got upset and hung up the phone before leaving a message. She pulled out of the driveway and down the street fighting the tears that were going to fall. She finally parked again in the parking lot of a restaurant and pulled out her phone again and dialed the number Chandler had given her.
"Hello?" So he was home, that was good.
"Chandler?" She asked.
"Monica?"
"Can I come over?"
"Yeah, sure," he told her.
"Thanks," she said. "I'll be right over." She hung up the phone and then let the tears fall. She wiped them away and drove to where Chandler said his apartment was. She got out of the car, her legs threatening to desert her. She made her way to the door and Chandler buzzed her in. She got to his apartment and knocked on his door.
"Monica?" He asked when he took in the sight in front of him. Her eyes were swollen red from crying, and there were tears still streaming down her pretty face. She was visibly shaken as she wiped away at tears.
"Oh Chandler," she managed and then fell into his open embrace.
"What's the matter?"
"He's cheating on me," she sobbed. "I came home early. I was supposed to be working at the restaurant today. But I dropped Kayley off at her friend's and then I went home. I got to our bedroom, and...and....there he was with a woman! And I turned and ran and I didn't give him time to explain." Chandler held her and rocked her like a child and then took her to the couch and sat her down. While she cried, Chandler fought off urges to kill Dan.
"Shush, honey, it's going to be all right," he told her even though he had no idea how it would be all right.
"Oh, Chandler," she sobbed. "What do I do now?"
"I don't know honey," he whispered as he rocked her back and forth. The door opened and Mandy came in.
"Chandler?" She asked seeing him holding a hysterical Monica in his arms. "What's going on?"
"She's having a hard time," he answered really not revealing anything to his wife. Mandy raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. She had found the letters to Monica from Chandler confessing his love and everything that he felt about her. He had never sent them, but couldn't bring himself to destroy them. She knew that he loved her that he had never really gotten over her. She watched as Chandler was more gentle and loving with this woman than he had ever been with her.
"Oh," Monica said sitting up suddenly. "I have to pick up Kayley!" She gathered her things.
"I'll come with you Monica," Chandler offered. "I mean when you go home, I'll be there for you." She nodded not really listening. He grabbed his coat and gave Mandy a quick kiss and told her that he would be home later and followed Monica out to her car. They drove in silence and then parked in front of a house and Monica told him that she would be back in a minute and got out and walked to the door. A few minutes later Kayley was in the car with them.
"You remember Chandler, don't you sweetheart?" Monica asked her daughter who nodded.
"From the store," she answered.
"That was me," Chandler said smiling at the young girl. She nodded.
"Mommy says that I have the remembery of an elephant," Kayley said.
"That's memory," Monica muttered correcting her. They were nearing her house and she still didn't know what she was going to say to Dan, but she was glad that she had someone with her. They parked in the driveway and walked in.
"Daddy!" Kayley hopped into his arms and he hugged her and then shot a uncertain glance towards Monica before putting her on the ground.
"Listen gorgeous," Monica told her daughter kneeling to her eye level. "Can you do Mommy a big favor and go play in the backyard?" Kayley nodded and ran off and Monica straightened and took a deep breath and then looked at her husband. Dan seemed to notice Chandler for the first time.
"I came for support," Chandler said.
"Since when does Monica need support?" Dan asked.
"Since her husband cheated on her," Chandler retorted.
"I think that that is my wife's and my business," Dan said.
"Enough!" Monica had been quiet up to that point and she suddenly exploded. "How could you? What if Kayley had been with me?"
"I'm sorry," Dan muttered.
"You're sorry? No, that won't work," she snapped.
"Where do we go from here?" Dan asked.
"I don't know," she closed her eyes. "But I can't look at you right now, so can you please get out?"
"Can we talk about this later?" Dan asked.
"Yeah, just leave," she sighed and took off her coat and went into the kitchen. She gripped the counter for support and as she heard Dan leave the house she lost her footing and collapsed on the ground. Chandler ran in and caught her and began to comfort her again. Kayley came into the house for a drink of water and saw the man holding her mommy who was crying.
"Why's Mommy crying?" She asked.
"She's upset," Chandler told the little girl.
"Why?" Monica looked up and smiled at her daughter.
"Come here baby," she said holding out her arms to Kayley, who ran and embraced her mother. Monica rocked her back and forth in her arms.
"Oh sweet girl," she whispered into Kayley's hair. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," Kayley replied and tightened her grip around her mother's neck. Instinctively, as if she knew what her mother needed at that moment.
Want to cry for you
but I don't know where to go
if I rained for you
it would just be water
and the nights with you
and the storms in your hands
Rachel flew into the house after getting Chandler's message.
"Monica?" She called out.
"In here," she heard Chandler call out to her. She ran into the living room and saw that Monica had calmed down by now and was watching a movie with Kayley in her lap, her hand absentmindedly stroking Kayley's curly hair.
"Oh Mon," she told her sitting down next to Monica and taking her free hand.
"Chandler?" Monica asked. He looked up from his pacing position. "Can you take Kayley upstairs and put her in bed? If she wakes up tell her I'll be up in a minute to tuck her in." Chandler nodded and gently lifted the little girl out of Monica's lap. As soon as she was free, Rachel hugged her tightly.
"You aren't alone on this," Rachel assured her.
"I know," Monica said.
"What are you going to do?" Rachel asked as she pulled away.
"I don't know," Monica said softly. "I don't think that I can stay married to him though." Rachel nodded.
"I understand," she said. "If Will did this to me, I'd...I don't know what I'd do, but I couldn't forgive him." Monica closed her eyes and nodded wanting to block out what she was feeling.
"Oh Rach," she finally said. "I'm so scared. I don't want to be divorced! A single divorced mother! That's not how my life was supposed to go!"
"I know," Rachel comforted her. "I know."
"I mean, money is not a problem, because the restaurant is doing so well, and so we'd be okay without Dan financial wise, and I know that Dan wouldn't just leave Kayley, but I..." Monica's voice trailed off. "I guess I know what I have to do." Rachel nodded.
"When are you going to tell him?"
"Tomorrow," Monica replied. "I'll tell him tomorrow that I want a divorce." Chandler appeared back in the room.
"Kayley is asleep," he told her. "So you are going to get a divorce?"
"I don't know how to stay married to him," she said. "I don't know if I will ever forgive him, and I can't stay married to a man who I can't forgive." Chandler nodded and hugged her.
"Why can't life be simple?" She asked.
"I don't know honey, if I could, I would make it simple for you," he said. Rachel smiled as she watched Chandler with Monica. She wondered why the two of them never went out, she didn't know that they had. Monica sighed.
"I'm going to bed," she folded the blanket that she had been laying under and set it on the couch as she walked out of the room up the stairs.
"I'll stay here with her tonight," Rachel offered. "Will's fine with Gretchen, I'm sure your wife wants you home."
"Monica is more important," Chandler waved the suggestion away. "I'll stay here."
"Sure?"
"Yes, go home to your husband and daughter Rach," he said. "I'm fine here with her." Rachel nodded uncertainly and went home as Chandler went to call Mandy and tell her that he would be staying the night at Monica's.
"Hey, Mandy? Monica is having some marital problems, so I'm going to stay here and make sure that she's okay," Chandler told Mandy.
"I'm sure she's a big girl and can handle it herself Chandler," Mandy answered. "So why don't you come on home?"
"No, she was my best friend, and she needs me right now, so I'm staying here," Chandler said once more before hanging up on his wife. He then sighed and held his head in his hands. What had he been thinking when he had married her? She was not his type at all. Chandler headed up the stairs to check on Monica. She was curled in a ball in the big bed. She had fallen asleep, and by the look of the tears on her face, she had fallen asleep crying. He pulled the blanket over her body and her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him.
"Thank you for staying," she said. He pulled up a chair next to the bed.
"Where did you think I was going to go?" He asked smiling at her. He took her small hand in his and held it as she drifted back off to a restless sleep. Her marriage was over, and he didn't have the faintest clue what to do to help her. All he had to offer her was his shoulder to cry on. Whatever that was worth. Just as he had many times before. When she had broken up with Richard, when they were in London. London. He had almost forgotten London. It had been like an old photograph, you want to look at it so much that you wear out the edges from it being passed around in your hand, and it gets bent down the middle from keeping with you at all times until you can't make out the images anymore, they become blurred. London had become blurred in his mind. All that was left was the memory of her and the way that she kissed, and smelled, and had looked that night. And the way he had felt. Like there was no one else that could fit with him as well as she could. She mumbled something in her sleep and he kissed her forehead and smoothed her hair. Chandler was so angry with Dan again, how could he hurt her? Chandler had always felt a need to protect her, even before they had slept together. She had seemed so frail and small, even though, he was quite certain she could kick his butt. Now she had needed protected, and he hadn't been there to stop the hurt.
"I'll try to make it up to you Mon," he whispered and her grip on his hand tightened. He fell asleep sitting upright in the chair holding her hand and making sure that he would protect her.
and you're down and you're down
and I can't lift you
the power is to change
your world
the power is to stop the hurt
but I'll give you my heart
give you my shoulder
I'll give you my heart
give you my shoulder
over and over
Everyone had been furious when they found out what Dan had done. Especially Ross.
"I still can't believe it. He cheated on her." He yelled into the phone. "Oh, he's in for it now! I knew that I should have come right away when you told me." It was three weeks later.
"Ross, calm down," Chandler said. "We're handling it."
"You're handling it? What does that mean?"
"Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, and I are here for her," Chandler said once more. Mandy slammed the door, which got Chandler's attention, and he told Ross that he would call him back.
"What are you doing?" He asked his wife.
"Leaving," she said.
"Why?"
"It's been three weeks since Monica showed up here that night," Mandy started as she was throwing things into a box. "And I realize that she's your friend and she needed you, but I'm your wife and I need you too. You're over that house more then you are here."
"Kayley and Monica need me," Chandler said again sighing. "We've been over this. Her brother is in London and I promised that I would take care of her." That was a half lie. He had told Ross that he would take care of Monica, but he had had every intention of doing it before he made that promise.
"I knew when she came back that this would happen," Mandy said ignoring Chandler and viciously throwing her things in the box.
"What do you mean?" Chandler asked.
"You've never gotten over her," Mandy said with a slight laugh. "Why did I expect you too?"
"I've gotten over her," Chandler said defending himself.
"Oh, yeah, but when she needs something, you'll go running over there," Mandy said sarcastically.
"She's my friend! She's going through a divorce!"
"It's not even a nasty divorce. Dan told her that she could have whatever she wanted, including custody of their child, and she's the one who dumped him in the first place!"
"Because he was cheating on her," Chandler said exasperated.
"I understand," Mandy finished that box and stood up. "Listen Chandler, it was good while it lasted, but we both knew that we were just replacements for the people we loved. And now the one that you loved is back and soon to be single again. You should thank me for letting you off the hook." Mandy gave Chandler a kiss on the cheek. "Go to her. You let her go once, this is a second chance. Get her back Chandler. You know you want her. I'll be back later for the rest of my stuff. I'm staying with my sister if you need something," with that Mandy left and Chandler sat down on the couch stunned. Mandy was right. She had been a replacement for Monica. And not a very good one at that. And he did love Monica, still after all these years. He shook his head and remembered that he promised Kayley and Monica that he would come over for dinner that night. He grabbed his keys and left the apartment. Should he be more upset that his wife just left him? Was that what Mandy was talking about? He let the questions run through his head as he drove to Monica's. He got out and walked in the door and Kayley threw herself on top of him.
"Chandler!" She squealed. "Guess what? Daddy has an apartment like you, and I got to go there today. And he has a room set up just for me, so I'm going to have two rooms! One here with Mommy and then one with Daddy! Mommy's is better, but don't tell anyone I said that." Chandler laughed at her innocence and was glad that she was handling this well. Monica came into the hall and gave Chandler a kiss on the cheek.
"What's the matter?" She asked when she noticed that he was quiet.
"Mandy left me," he said.
"Oh, Chandler, I'm so sorry," she said.
"I'm okay, we were drunk when we got married anyway," he said. Monica looked at him with surprise and then smiled.
"Glad to see you're taking it so well," she told him.
"Come on Chandler," Kayley said hopping out of his arms and grabbing his hand. "I helped Mommy make dinner." Chandler smiled as he slipped an arm around Monica.
"How are you today?"
"I'm breathing," she answered.
"Even human vegetables breath Mon," he said looking over with concern.
"But they can't feel," she told him. "And so they can't get hurt. Maybe I should invest in this vegetable-type living," she added. She quickly changed the subject.
"Monica? It's going to be okay, and you're going to feel again," he promised her.
"Yeah?" He nodded.
"But I won't, until you do," he said. "So hurry up and start loving again. Take a page from the Beatles. All you need is love."
"Now he's quoting John Lennon," she said throwing her hands up in the air.
"At least I have a smile out of you." She smiled wider at that and he grinned. "I'd do anything for you Monica."
"It's been so long since someone thought about me," she said softly.
"You've been talking to the wrong people," he added sitting at the table next to Kayley. "Huh, Kay?" Kayley giggled. Monica turned around and smiled at him again, a genuine happy smile.
"What would I do without you?" She asked.
I want to run for you
but I don't know where to go
if I flew for you
you'd still be standing
and it's hard watching
cause I'm part of you
and it's hard not to
not to know what I can do
"Bye Daddy!" Kayley yelled to Dan who had just dropped her off at Monica's.
"I need to talk to your mother," Dan said getting out and following the four-year-old inside the house. It had been four months since the divorce.
"Mommy, I'm home!" Kayley yelled.
"Hi sweetheart," Monica said coming into the hall and allowing Kayley to jump into her arms. "Oh, hi Dan."
"Mon, I need to talk to you," he said.
"Hey, Kay, can you go play in your room for me?" Kayley nodded and ran upstairs. "What do you need to talk about?" She led him into the family room and they sat down.
"I'm moving," he said.
"You're moving? Where are you moving to?"
"Washington DC," he answered. "Listen, I just need to talk about Kayley."
"Well, yeah, of course you won't be able to see her every other weekend anymore," Monica pointed out.
"I know, I just thought maybe we could switch holidays, some long weekends and maybe one month each summer?"
"That would be okay," Monica said. "We could do that."
"Thanks Mon," he smiled at her. "I knew that you'd be okay with this."
"Why are you moving?" She asked. "I mean, I'm just curious."
"Job transfer," he said shrugging. "I just feel like I need a new city."
"Then I'm happy for you," she told him taking his hand.
"Do you miss us Mon?" He asked.
"Truthfully? Yeah, I miss us. I miss the old us, not what we became towards the end," she told him.
"Well, at least we have that beautiful little girl to our credit," Dan said standing to leave.
"She's something," Monica answered shaking her head and smiling at the thought of her daughter. "Take care of yourself Dan."
"You too Mon," he gave her a kiss on the cheek and then called goodbye to his daughter and left the house. Kayley came running down and gave Monica another hug.
"Is Chandler coming over tonight?" Kayley asked.
"I think so," Monica answered twirling her around.
"Good, he promised to teach me how to juggle," Kayley said.
"He can juggle?"
"He said he could." Monica laughed and then shook her head.
"Oh the things I don't know," she answered. They walked into the kitchen and were starting dinner when the doorbell rang and Kayley ran to open it.
"Hi Chandler!" She was hopping from foot to foot. "Can we learn how to juggle tonight?"
"Sure, sweetie," he picked her up and gave her a hug before finding Monica in the kitchen.
"Hey Mon," he said.
"Hi Chandler," she gave him a warm smile. They were not dating. With both of their divorces going through, and their jobs, and everything else going on, they hadn't made that step yet. Truth be told, Monica was terrified of taking that step. She did not, under any circumstances, want to lose Chandler as her friend again. She figured that he felt the same way. He was her biggest source of comfort. She needed him. He was her rock. Chandler, on the other hand, wanted to be more then just Monica's support system. If that was the only way to have her, then he would settle with just that. But something told him that she wanted to be more just as much as he wanted to be more. They ate dinner, he usually did come over and eat with the two of them, and after Kayley was tucked in bed, Monica found him on the deck. It was a warm spring night.
"Hey you," she told him stepping out and breathing the warm air.
"Here," he handed her a glass of wine he had poured for her.
"Thanks," she smiled at him and took a sip. "What are you doing out here?"
"Thinking," he replied.
"About?" He shrugged. "Oh, its the I don't want to tell anyone, kind of thinking?" He smiled at her.
"Mon?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you ever think about London?"
"Sometimes. That was a great night," she said sighing.
"And a great month after too," he said softly.
"What are you saying?"
"I don't know," he looked into his glass. "You know what? I have to go." With that, he went back into the house and she heard his car pull out of the driveway leaving her wondering what had just happened.
the power is to change
your world
the power is to stop the hurt
trying hard to be your tower of strength
trying hard to bring you back to joy
I'll give you my heart
give you my shoulder
I'll give you my heart
give you my shoulder
Monica hadn't heard from Chandler for two weeks, which was highly unusual. Her and Rachel had replayed his words over and over again, analyzing them to death. While she hadn't heard from him, Dan had been coming over more frequently to see Kayley before he moved. He took her to his house, and Monica was left alone at home. She had time to think about Chandler. She stared out the window into the dark night and finally she had enough pacing grooves into the floor and grabbed her car keys and drove to Chandler's apartment. She hopped out and ran to the door and pressed the button.
"Yes?"
"This is Monica, can I come up?" There was a pause.
"Sure," the door opened and Monica ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She got to his door and knocked, biting her nails waiting for him to answer the door.
"Hey Mon," he said when he opened it up.
"Chandler? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, why would you say that?"
"You haven't been over in two weeks," she said. "And I just thought that maybe that night, I did something wrong, or I said something wrong, or I don't know!"
"Shush, come here," he opened his arms to her and she fell into his embrace. "I'm sorry Mon, I just needed some time to sort out the things in my head."
"Chandler?"
"Yes?"
"Do you want back London?"
"I thought I did."
"Does that mean you don't?"
"I don't know Monica, I don't want to lose you again," he had let go of her and was pacing.
"I don't want to lose you either Chandler, but I...miss you." He didn't answer and so she looked at him. "Chandler? Are you going to talk to me?" He didn't answer again.
"Mon...I just..."
"Fine, you know what Chandler? When you have everything sorted out, come find me. Just hope that I haven't moved on," she told him grabbing her coat and pulling it on and leaving. He ran to the window and watched her car pull away.
"Get her back Chandler," Mandy had said. And there he was, just letting her walk out the door again. He grabbed his car keys and rushed out the door after her. He thought that he would try her house first, but she hadn't gone there. She had gone to Dan's. She just needed to see her baby girl.
"Monica?" Dan asked when he saw her face fresh with tear tracks.
"Hi Dan, can I see Kayley for a minute? She forgot Mr. Piggly." Monica held up the pink pig that she had found in the car which she was going to use for her cover.
"Sure," he opened the door wider for her. "Are you okay?"
"Peachy," she said sarcastically. "Sorry, I just had a fight with one of my friends."
"That's okay," Dan said. He leaned forward and gave her a hug. He missed her more then he let on. Monica stood stiffly in his embrace for a minute and called out for her daughter. Kayley came skipping out and stopped when she saw her mom.
"Hi Mommy," she said.
"Hi baby," Monica said. "Can I have a hug?"
"Sure," Kayley hugged her mother tightly. "Did you come all the way over here to say goodnight?"
"Yes," Monica told her daughter hugging her. "And you forgot Mr. Piggly in the car. "
"Silly me," Kayley giggled. "Can you tuck me in Mommy?" Monica nodded and Kayley led her down the hall to her room and Monica tucked her in and then Dan came in and gave her a kiss on the forehead. They stood at the door together and Dan flipped out the lights.
"Monica?" They were walking back to the living room. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, you know what? I just wanted to see Kayley, and drop off her pig, and I'm going now," she told him and left the apartment and Dan closed the door after her. He stood at the window wondering what was happening with a woman he used to be able to tell what she was thinking fairly well.
"You blew that one buddy," he said to himself looking at the picture of him and Monica on their wedding day. He sighed and checked on Kayley one more time before going to bed himself.
when the night just cuts you through
and the dreams are lost to you
when you're worried and confused
I will
give you my heart
give you my shoulder
give you my heart
give you my shoulder
over and over
Chandler ran to Monica's door and found the house dark and empty. He sighed and kicked at a rock and felt so stupid. He got back in his car going over in his head the places that she might have gone. He decided to try Rachel's and pulled out of the driveway and over to her apartment. He was so busy thinking of the other places that she could've gone that he didn't see her pull into the street and ride right past him. She didn't notice his car either and pulled into her driveway and got out. She had big plans that night of becoming so very drunk. Maybe that will get my mind off this, she thought. Chandler got to Rachel's apartment and jumped out and buzzed her.
"Hello?"
"Rachel? It's Chandler, can I come up?"
"Sure," a minute later he was running up the stairs. She opened the door for him.
"Is Monica here?"
"Why would Monica be here?"
"We had a fight, and I...she's not here?"
"Nope, sorry, what did you fight about?"
"Sorry Rachel, don't have time now to explain, I have to find her," he waved and then rode around trying to find her. He went back to her house, but by this time she had gone to bed and turned out the lights, so it was still as dark as it had been the first time he stopped by. He finally gave up and went home. He kept calling over her house remembering when he called the week before her wedding just to get the busy signal. There was no busy signal this time, just ringing and then the answering machine picked up.
"Hi, this is Monica and Kayley, we're not available to come to the phone right now," Monica's voice said.
"If we were," Kayley's voice continued. "We probably would have picked up the phone, duh."
"Anyway, leave us a message at the beep," Monica's laughing voice continued.
"Beep," Kayley said. "Just kidding." The real beep sounded in his ear and he left a message.
"Monica, I was stupid and I need to talk to you, so call me back," he said. When he called over and over, he got the machine every time. If she was home, he thought bitterly, she's not answering. Can't really blame her. Finally, he gave it one more time and she picked up.
"Stop calling Chandler," she told him and hung up. He sighed. What a mess he had made out of this.
The next day, he went back over there and rang the doorbell over and over again until she appeared at the window upstairs.
"Chandler," she said tiredly. "Go away."
"Monica we need to talk," he said.
"Chandler," she sighed again.
"Monica, I've screwed things up. Not the first time, I'm aware, but I need to talk to you, sort things out."
"Chandler," she said it more weakly this time. He knew he was breaking her.
"Please Mon? I'm so sorry, can we just talk?" She left the window and there was a considerable amount of time where nothing happened. He sighed, figuring it was over. He had given it a good try. As he was heading back to the car, her door opened.
"Want to talk?" She asked. "Talk."
time and again
give you my shoulder
I will, I will
give you my hear
give you my shoulder
time and again
over and over
I'll give you my heart
give you my shoulder
~*I discovered I may be evil, cause that's where I'm going to leave you! Here's the deal though, the more you review, the faster you're going to get the third part. So click the little button on the bottom and leave a review. Thanks!*~
