SURVIVOR

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DAY ONE

ANNOUNCER: Today we are here in Australia for our newest special season of Survivor, Invader Zim style! In case you have never seen our show, our many contestants are divided into teams in which they will work together to live. There will be challenges both physical and mental. Whichever team loses the challenge, will have to vote one of their own team members off. There will also be an immunity challenge in which the victor will be given an amulet that signifies that this contestant cannot be voted off for this Tribal Council, but it will have to be given back afterwards. The last one not to be voted off after 30 whole days, will receive the grand prize, one million dollars and a life supply of hamburgers and brainfreezies. I will now introduce you to our survivors. Our first one is Invader Zim coming all the way from Irk!

ZIM: True human stinkbeast! Perhaps with this… this money I will be able to control the (shudders) humans…

ANNOUNCER: Uh… right. Our next survivor is Zim's robot, GIR who has taken time off from The Scary Monkey Show just to be with us!

GIR: (bounces around crazily) I'm a kangarooooo!

ANNOUNCER: (laughs nervously) It's good to see we have an animal lover. Anyway, let's welcome Dib! Will his great knowledge help him to survive in this game?

DIB: I will beat you Zim! If it takes me all 30 days, I promise you that you will be beaten by me! Prepare yourself… wait… don't prepare yourself, just know that you can never win… (glares at Zim who returns the stare)

ANNOUNCER: As you can see, this promises to be a VERY interesting month. What do you know? It seems like Dib has ever more competition. His sister, Gaz, will also be competing!

GAZ: Yes… (makes a fist) I will defeat you all! (continues to play with her gameslave)

ANNOUNCER: Next we have… err… Ms. Bitters.

BITTERS: Everything is doomed… DOOMED!!!!

ANNOUNCER: Okay… Over here we have Moose and Pig who seem to be very good friends with GIR. This may affect the outcome of the game.

MOOSE: (stares blankly)

PIG: (blinks) Oink?

ANNOUNCER: This cutie we have right here is Zal, also from Irk. She is currently in the process of taking over a planet, but decided to try her luck with us.

ZAL: Uh, hi. I really hope I win, and, well, that's about it… Oh, and my SIR would be competing, but she is helping to destroy a planet. (smiles shyly) I hope I get placed in a good group.

ANNOUNCER: Our last survivor contestants are the one and only, the majesty's of Irk, the Tallests!

A large platform rises from the ground with the Tallests standing on top. Red lasers and purple smoke appear from all around. Everyone except Ms. Bitters cheers.

RED: (bows) Thank you, thank you everyone.

PURPLE: (smiles and waves and then leans over towards Red) See, I told you, the people like the smoke screens.

RED: (whispers) Are you kidding? They are cheering for the lasers. No one likes your wimpy smoke screens.

PURPLE: Oh yeah? Well, let's see how much you like lasers! (aims laser at Red's eye and fires)

RED: (falls back rubbing eye) Eat this! (throws smoke machine at Purple's head)

Red and Purple wrestle.

ANNOUNCER: Hey, hey! Break it up, guys. (Tallests are lowered off the platform and dragged over to the group by two security men)

GIR: (bites Zim's foot) Hamburger!

ZIM: What the…? (kicks GIR)

ANNOUNCER: We are now going to Australia where these survivors will try their luck, and get placed into their teams, which they must work in. There will be a cameraman video taping everything. Let's all say hi to him.

CMAN: Wassup all!

ANNOUNCER: All right, now everyone board the plane and we'll be on our way!

Dib runs on followed by Zim who uses his spider legs to help him get on the plane. Gaz follows them not even looking up from her gameslave. Ms. Bitters slinks on, making a hissing sound. Zal escorts the Tallests who look glare at each other evilly. Pig rides Moose in and GIR hops on top of the plane.

GIR: (bouncing up and down) Wee hoo!!!!!

BITTERS: He's doomed. DOOMED… (cockroach crawls over her head)

ZAL: You can sit here, Pig. (motions to the empty seat next to her)

PIG: (rolls over to one side on the ground) Oink?

ZAL: (shrugs) Wanna sit here, moose?

MOOSE: (bangs head on the wall)

Dib is still standing looking for an open seat. He sits very reluctantly next to Zal.

DIB: Try anything and I will render you helpless with my (pulls out black handcuffs from his pocket) Render-Aliens-Helpless-Handcuffs! (laughs maniacally)

ZAL: (stares) You got those from McDonalds, didn't you?

DIB: (pauses a moment, then sighs) Yes..

Red and Purple are sitting next to each other.

RED: (muttering) Lasers… lasers…

PURPLE: (turning suddenly, then starts to yell) WHAT!? SMOKE SCREENS, SMOKE SCREENS, SMOKE SCREENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Red and Purple begin to violently attack each other. Announcer sighs.

ANNOUNCER: (walks up and sits in the copilot seat) Alright, Mike, let's go, these guys are giving me a major headache.

(Mike, the pilot, nods and begins to fly the plain)

MIKE: (grabs microphone) Everyone please sit tight. This is going to be a long trip. If you would like any refreshments, than please ring the bell above your seat and a waitress will come assist you shortly. Bathrooms are in the back. First we will be flying over Hawaii, so enjoy the view. Okay, here we go! (turns microphone off)

The plane takes flight and GIR who is still on the outside, jumps up and down screaming.

ANNOUNCER: (stands up and faces the passengers) Who is that?

ZIM: (pulls a communicator out of his backpack) GIR get down here right now!

GIR falls jumps off the top of the plane and uses his jets to bust through the window and lands in Zim's lap.

ZIM: (pushes GIR on the ground) Get off of me! Obey me, GIR!

GIR: (grabs Pig and runs around holding him above his head making a car noise) Beep beep!

ANNOUNCER: (goes back to his seat and whispers to Mike) I definitely have to get a better job.

MIKE: Tell me about it. (after a few minutes) Hey, isn't there some kind of dinosaur park on one of those Hawaiian islands? We could drop them off and fly away…

ANNOUNCER: We can't leave them in Jurassic Park! We'd get arrested and I wouldn't get my paycheck.

MIKE: (chuckles) True. We'll be there soon, though in case you change your mind. (winks)

ANNOUNCER: (rolls eyes) Just be careful.

MIKE: Yeah, yeah…

GIR has found a box of crayons and is coloring on the walls.

GIR: Stand still Moose. (takes a brown crayon and draws a circle with feet) All done! Yahoo! (eats crayon) It tastes like BACON!!!!!!

GAZ: (turns angrily) I'll say it once and I'll say it slowly… If… you… don't… shut… up… than … I… will… have… to… KILL YOU!!!!!!!!! (turns back around and continues to play gameslave)

GIR: (is silent for a maximum of two seconds, okay, so one and a half seconds) I love you… (jumps into the air and hugs Gaz)

GAZ: Okay, that's it! (picks up GIR by the head and throws him at Dib)

DIB: (throws GIR aside) Gaz!

Gaz ignores Dib and violently presses the buttons on her gameslave.

ZIM: (looks dizzy) Stupid human aircraft! (a sharp turn of the plane knocks him into the wall)

DIB: (laughs) I can't believe this! (falls off of his chair laughing)

Zim growls and uses his spider legs to fasten himself on the top of the plane and hangs there.

ZAL: (yawns and looks out the window, leaning on her arm rest) I am so tired…

PIG: (is asleep with eyes open) Oink?

Moose stares blankly at GIR who is bouncing around complaining about there being no jellybeans.

ANNOUNCER: I swear when this is all over I am going to retire.

MIKE: But your only 29…

ANNOUNCER: Shut up!! (punches Mike in the arm causing him to make another sharp turn)

The turn slams Dib into Gaz who drops her gameslave. In slow motion it hits the floor. Gaz's eyes open up wide as she tries to grab it before it hits the ground. She misses and the game turns off.

GAZ: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! (looks at Dib, mouth foaming) I AM GOING TO RIP YOU APART!!!!!! (grabs Dib by his hair and throws him out the window)

Dib grabs the side of the window and manages to pull himself back into the plane before Gaz lunges at him. GIR goes crazy. He discoveries the service bell on the top of his seat and presses it repeatedly giggling uncontrollably. Zim yells about obeying his fist even though nobody is listening and Zal is holding Pig. Moose doesn't do anything. Red and Purple are still trying to kill each other.

MIKE: Want to reconsider dropping them off?

Announcer moans.

CMAN: (films everything) Oh yeah, this is good. Zim, would you mind moving over a little bit. Great, perfect! The critics are going to eat this up!

ANNOUNCER: I need a massage, I need a hot bath, I need the works. Better break this up before it gets nasty.

MIKE: I wouldn't go back there, it's war.

ANNOUNCER: I don't plan to. (picks up the microphone and turns it on) Hey, everybody. Cut it out!! Sit in your seats, PLEASE!

Ruckus continues without mercy.

MIKE: Oh forget it. Do we have any sleeping gas?

ANNOUNCER: You wouldn't…

MIKE: Oh, yes I would! Go look in the back.

ANNOUNCER: (smiles) Okay. (walks through the chaos and returns with a fire extinguisher full of sleeping gas) Let's do this thing.

Mike puts the plane in autopilot and helps Announcer to spray the plane with sleeping gas. Within minutes, everyone is asleep except for GIR who is unaffected by it.

ANNOUNCER: (sits back) That's SO much better. Okay let's go.

GIR dances around.



Four hours later everyone begins to wake up.

GIR: I LOVE this button!!!!! (presses a red button that turns on the air conditioning repeatedly)

ZAL: What's going on? Are we there yet?

Gaz turns on her gameslave and plays it.

PIG: Snort!

DIB: Okay, that was weird. Away alien!

ZAL: I'm not even moving near you…

DIB: Ha! (takes out handcuffs and places them around Zal's wrists) Do you feel the pain? Huh? Are you rendered unconscious yet?

ZAL: Um, no…

DIB: Maybe they're backwards… (takes them off and then puts them on the other way) How about now?

ZAL: Nope.

DIB: Darn it!

GIR: (rings service bell) Ooo!

A waitress pushing a cart full of food comes down the aisle. She stops at GIR's seat and smiles.

WAITRESS: (takes out a piece of paper and a pen) Would you like something to eat?

GIR: I'll take two large tacos and a chocolate bubblegum!

WAITRESS: (writes down orders) Would you like something special on the tacos?

GIR: Tuna!!!

WAITRESS: Okay, it will be ready in a minute. Would anyone else like to order something?

GAZ: Pizza. (doesn't look up from her gameslave)

RED: Do you have Burger King?

WAITRESS: No, but we have nachos.

PURPLE: That's fine.

ZIM: Bring me meat, I need the meat! (holds up fists) Obey my fist!

WAITRESS: Okay, how would you like your meat?

ZIM: …Meaty…

WAITRESS: And would you like anything, ma'am?

BITTERS: I don't want any of your doomed food! It's all just DOOMED!

WAITRESS: We have doom burgers for those who do enjoy doomed food.

ZIM: Slave girl, I shall have some of this doomed burger food.

WAITRESS: I will be back with your orders momentarily. Please relax.

Waitress pushes cart away and disappears through a door that leads to a small kitchen.

ZIM: Perhaps with this doomed meat, the humans will obey me and the meat!

GAZ: Fat chance, freak!

GIR jumps up and grabs one of Zim's spider legs bringing them both tumbling to the ground. Dib laughs hysterically.

ZIM: Yes, laugh now, but you will soon be at the mercy of my feet. And my fist! (holds up fist)

MIKE: (picks up microphone and turns it on) Attention, we are now riding over the Hawaiian islands. If you look to your left you will see the dangerous Jurassic Park, which has been infested with dinosaurs. We'll be flying a bit higher to avoid any danger. Please stay in your seats. Thank you. (turns off the microphone)

GIR looks out the window and then bursts through. He screams as he falls down through the trees onto the island.

ZIM: (stands up and pulls out his communicator) GIR get back here NOW!!

No response.

ZAL: (talking to Zim) Can't he fly?

ZIM: (nods) Yes.

BITTERS: I told you he was doomed. Just like everything else in this doomed world.

DIB: (sarcastically) Great robot, Zim. Did you make it yourself?

ZIM: My fist does not like you. (speaks into communicator) GIR, you will have no tacos if you do not come back right now!

GIR flies up from the trees and zooms through the window, holding a small baby raptor. The raptor squeaks and glares up at everyone. It hops from GIR's hands and runs up to the pilot seat.

MIKE: Oh my gosh, it's a raptor! Isn't it cute?

The raptor turns its head to one side, squeaks and leaps at Mike, biting his nose. Mike, desperate to get the monster away from him, accidentally leads the plane spiraling downward. Announcer grabs the raptor and swings it out the window. Mike recovers and flies the plane back upward.

DIB: Woah! Did you see that? A real live dinosaur!

ZAL: Yeah, and it almost ripped off his nose!

DIB: That was amazing! (turns to cameraman) Did you get that?

CMAN: Yep, every second of it.

The waitress brings the food and serves it. GIR eats his in only a few seconds. Zim covers himself with the doomed meat and walks around with his spider feet.

BITTERS: Doomed, doomed!

Red and Purple begin to throw nachos at each other as they fight over smoke screens and lasers again. GIR eats the flying cheesy nachos. Pig hides behind moose that has not moved once since the flight began.



Many, many, many hours later…

GIR: I love you, moose!! (hugs moose)

Moose stares blankly at the wall.

ZAL: Are we there yet?

MIKE: (talks into microphone) My nose is in pain and we are now in Australia. We will be landing shortly. Please exit in an orderly fashion and wait until the plane has come to a complete stop.

The plane lands and everyone rushes to get off. It is now night and very cold. There is a warm wind. There is a lot of foliage and trees. GIR spots a kangaroo hopping off into the distance.

ANNOUNCER: We'll rest here tonight. Tomorrow we will begin the second day of survivor where you will all be placed into groups and begin to make camp. Goodbye for now.

Who do you think will win? Will it be Invader Zim? Or might it be Dib? Please leave a review and include who you think will win. Write whatever you want. If I don't get many readers, I may not continue so please tell all your friends if you liked it. Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed this. It took me forever to make! But it was a lot of fun. So I salute you Zim fans! Bye!