The Cell Games Gone Wrong!

CMG: Hee hee hee! I'm back peeps! As I said in the previous series, I don't own them and there will be some great fighting! Of course, this takes place a bit before the battle begins. There's going to be more censored cussing in this story and some other junk, so don't mind me. Okay, those of you who were wanting more Bardock are going to get it and King Vegeta's also going to be in it for the heck of it. So, without further delay, here we go! As we start the new series, The Young and the Senseless.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was a beautiful day in May outside as Goku appears at Dende's Lookout. He began to look for Gohan. Little did Goku know, Gohan was hiding in the basement inside the castle with some "reading" material. As he turned on the light, he found it very peaceful. (-cough-bookworm-cough-)

"Hmph! I don't think anyone would mind me doing some reading before I go out to the Cell Games," said Gohan.

"Gohan, it's time to go!" said Goku.

"D***!" said Gohan as he gets up from the basement.

"Come on! The first 10 there get a free T-shirt that says "I've been to the Cell Games" on it!" said Goku.

"Whatever," said Gohan as he flies off with his father.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile in the center of the ring, Cell is just sitting in a comfy chair writing love poems. (A/N: Hey! You would think for a guy who's pretty much absorbed several towns of people doesn't go OOC, don't you?) Just then, his cell *snickers* phone rings.

"Hello?" said Cell in a girl's voice. "Oh hi, Stephanie! You wouldn't believe where I'm at right now! I'm at the Cell Games! What do you mean he's evil? I want to see someone kick his sorry a** across the arena and--ENOUGH!"

Cell crushed the phone as he throws it at a spy plane that was going to stop some terrorist from brainwashing kids with Barney. As he waits, Hercule (who I'm calling by his real name, Mr. Satan because I hate the name Funi gave him) starts taunting Cell by spanking his butt. Vegeta got annoyed since he was waiting on the other side of the ring and smirked as he quickly put a 'hit me' sign on Mr. Satan's back. (You'll see where I'm going with this soon enough folks!) #16 lands near by and snickers quietly to himself.

'That will teach that idiot not to come here,' thought Vegeta.

Looking up into the sky, Cell sees the other Z-Fighters coming as they land where Vegeta was. Some of Mr. Satan's pupils started hitting him.

"Hey, why are you hitting me?" said Mr. Satan.

"I don't know," said the woman (Pizza, I think).

"Welcome to the Cell Games," said Cell. "I am your host, Cell and for one day only, you have the privilege of saving this pathic planet by defeating me. I will take on anyone. So, who's going first?"

"Um..." said Goku.

"I am!" cried Mr. Satan as he climbs into the ring.

Just then, a familiar girl appears outside of the ring. She has shorter brown hair, wore a pair of black pants, a grey tanktop shirt with a blue jacket over it, and had black gym shoes on. Gohan appears with a sign that is pointing to her saying: "Chibi Mirai Gogeta" on it. Goku appears a second later with another sign pointing to her saying: "AKA CMG to readers out there for future reference."

CMG pulls out a microphone out of nowhere and says, "The challenger, Mr. Satan is facing the gym leader, Cell. This is a one-on-one match. There are no time limits. Let the games begin." (A/N: A little Pokemon rip-off, but I guess I pulled it off pretty well, don't you think?)

"Yaaaahhhh!" cried Mr. Satan as he flies/runs towards Cell, who easily hits him and he goes flying across the world once at the speed of light before crashing into the rocks behind him. ^o^

"The winner, Cell," said CMG as she pulls out a chair out of nowhere as well as a bowl of popcorn.

"Bah! Next!" said Cell.

"Me! Me!" said Goku.

"Fine, Kakarot, but please don't toy with him!" said Vegeta.

"Ah, come on, Vegeta," begged Goku. "Can't I have a little fun with him?"

"No," said Vegeta.

"Fine," said Goku as he pouts as he steps into the ring.

"Ah, the Legendary Goku," said Cell. "I've waited this long to fight you. I can't wait to get a chance to feel your fist touching my perfect body."

"Eww! You've definately got some of Freeza's cells inside of you!" said Goku.

"D*** right, I do, monkey s***!" said Cell. "Now stop f***ing off and fight me, you wuss!"

"The challenger, Goku is... ah screw that," said CMG. "Kick his a**, Goku!"

"All right," said Goku as he hits Cell in the face with a punch that "almost" made him fly outside of the ring.

'Why did I make this a ring?' thought Cell. 'I mean, it's a waste of time and it will just get destroyed.'

'Oh s***!' thought Goku. 'That b****** almost went out of the ring! Oh well.'

Gohan walks over towards CMG who is watching the fight. He notices an old white haired man wearing a black formal suit and some round framed glasses giving her a Pepsi bottle as she eats some popcorn. CMG notices Gohan and beconds him to sit down next to her.

"So, what are you doing here?" said Gohan.

"Well, since I'm off school for a week, I get a chance to only have to worry about work," said CMG.

"Mistress, are you sure you aren't worried about your studies," said the man.

"Alfred, please go and get Gohan something," said CMG. "What would you like?"

"A sports drink," said Gohan.

"Right away, young master," said Alfred as he leaves.

"It must be cool to have a guy serving you," said Gohan.

"Actually, he only exists in the fanfics," said CMG. "Other than that, he's never around when I have to push those d*** carts around at Kroger."

"I thought you were going to quit," said Gohan.

"Yeah, but after 10 1/2 months of working there, you say to yourself, 'why in the hell aren't they making me into a cashier yet?' That's how I feel," said CMG.

"Dad!" cried Gohan as he suddenly saw his dad come close to falling out of the ring himself. (A/N: I'm just going to say that they're fighting just like on the show so far. Besides, I did miss one episode, so I'm just going to guess what Cell did when he split into 4 Cells. I did however read the Japanese summaries, so I should be able to guess from them a bit.)

"Gohan, please refrain from yelling my name," said Goku. "Daddy's a bit busy trying to kick Cell's a** for a little while longer."

"Oh," said Gohan as Cell splits himself into 4 Cells.

"Look Goku," said the 4 Cells. "I am talking in surround sound. Do you think I would make a good surround sound system?"

"No," said Goku.

"I see," said the 4 Cells. "So, which one is the real me?"

"Neither," said Goku. "All of you are real, but I know that you're 75% weaker too!"

"How do you know?" said the 4 Cells.

"Easy," said Goku as he blasts one of the copies with a "weak" energy blast which hurts one of them pretty bad.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," said the 4 Cells as they merged back into one.

"So, do you want to blow up the ring now?" said Goku.

"Well, if you want," said Cell as they float higher into the air.

CMG heard everything and grabbed the microphone. "Will all contestants please run like hell! The ring is about to be blown up by Cell! Head for the hills!"

The Z-Fighters, #16, and CMG run away as Cell destroyed the ring completely. Mr. Satan and the others barely escaped unharmed until a giant rock hits Mr. Satan in the head and knocks him out temporarily. CMG and Gohan were out of harms way as Alfred returns with the sports drink Gohan asked for a while ago.

"Well, it's about time," said CMG.

"Sorry mistress, but I had to climb that cliff after Cell destroyed the ring," said Alfred.

"Whatever," said CMG. "Begone!"

Alfred disappears as CMG sits in her comfy chair again. Gohan drinks his sports drink as Goku and Cell continue to fight. Suddenly, Goku stops.

"Okay, I'm done," said Goku as Cell and the other Z-Fighters, except for CMG facevault.

"Goku has forfeited, Cell wins by default!" said CMG.

"What?!" said Cell. "But we were just getting started!"

"Yeah, but I'm no match for you, sorry!" said Goku. "There is one more person that will face you and he's stronger than me."

"Well, who is it?" said Cell. "It is Vegeta? The Prince of all Jack-a**es?" (A/N: I said that once to a buddy of mine at work. He was my ex-boyfriend. ^o^) Vegeta growls as Trunks holds him back from fighting Cell in a strangle hold.
"It is the Namek without a cause?" Piccolo just gave Cell the death glare. "Oh wait! It's that bald human down there!"

"I'm not bald!" said Krillin! "I just like my head shiny!"

"No, it's my son, Gohan," said Goku.

"What?!" said every Z-Fighter as #16 checks Gohan out. (A/N: NOT YAOI, IDIOTS!)

'Goku seems to be right about his son, but Gohan doesn't yet realize that he's that powerful!' thought #16.

"But dad-" said Gohan. "I thought you were giving it everything you have!"

A buzzer sound is heard.

"Wrong," said CMG. "Let's tell Gohan what he's won!"

"It's a years supply of books!" said a male announcer.

"Bah!" said Vegeta as he burns all of the books instantly. "He won't get a chance to read those books if Cell destroys the planet, you idiots!"

"Oh yeah," said CMG as she sticks her tongue out at Vegeta before he lunges at CMG. She manages to hit him with a paper fan and knock him out for a few minutes while Trunks tries to revive him.

"I don't know about you, but I was giving it everything I had," said Goku as he grabbed on to the shoulder pads on Gohan's cape. 'I got to know what the hell Piccolo has in these shoulder pads! They look kind of cool! Yet, they're comfortable!' "You're just comparing my power level to yours, aren't you?"

"Is this true, Gohan?" said Piccolo. 'Don't tell me that Son's enjoying the cape I gave Gohan!' (A/N: Yeah, yeah. I'm using Japanese last names again, so sue me. I think it's better off! Goku = Son.)

Gohan nodded his head as Goku finishes the pep talk. "Now go out there and defeat him so we can go home and have a BBQ!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"There's NO way I'M going to COOK a BBQ after GOKU disobeyed ME!" cried Chi-chi.

"There, there," said Ox-King as he tries to hide under a pillow the size of a pin cushion.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Gohan, you don't have to do it man," said Piccolo as Gohan removes the cape. Vegeta wakes up from his temporary nap and shoves Trunks away. He flees to a cave and mopes about how his dad hates him and stuff for a little while.

"I want to," said Gohan as he leaves to the battlefield. Goku instantly took the cape and put on his shoulders. He started prancing around before Vegeta and Piccolo knocked him out for acting childish. Gohan stood before Cell ready to fight.

"Oh please," said Cell as he mock-yawns at Gohan. "I'm not stuck babysitting again, am I?"

"The challenger, Gohan is facing the gym leader, Cell. All of the instructions that I mentioned earlier that I don't feel like mentioning again are the same, except the ring part since it's gone now. Oh, and killing is allowed too! Let the match commence!" said CMG as Goku wakes up from his temporary nap.

"Please don't let me fight him!" cries Cell. "First off, I'm still hurt and second, he's a waste of time!"

"Well, take this bean and shove it up your a**!" said Goku as he throws it to Cell.

"Okay, that does it," said Krillin. "Goku's gone and lost it!"

Suddenly, some men in white coats come and try to drag Goku away, but he managed to hurt all of them and made them run away. CMG laughs in delight as Cell begs to get out of fighting Gohan as he gets ready to fight.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

CMG: Boo-yeah! That's the end of Chapter 1! I know Bardock and King Vegeta didn't make their appearance yet, but they will in the next chapter since it will involve them, big time!

*scene plays*

(In hell...)

Bardock: So, are you saying that we can go to the Cell Games?

Bibi-di: Yes, but only if you raise some havoc.

King Vegeta: What do we have to do?

Bibi-di: Possess the half-breed.

Bardock: Which one? Gohan or Trunks?

Bibi-di: You can't be any more dense! I want you to possess...

*scene gets cut as fans panic*

CMG: I think you get the idea. Besides, I mentioned it before, haven't I? Review or flame, whichever you desire. I will allow for I need to cook something new for dinner since I lost my Namek Stew receipe! I think it got destroyed on Namek.