Half-Breeds and Power Upgrades

CMG: (runs in with her work uniform still on) Whew! You'd think that I would ever get used to pushing carts around for hours! I don't own them still! On the last episode, Goku and the other Z-Fighters go to the Cell Games. Mr. Satan (see last chapter for details on who he is since I'm too lazy to talk about it right now) gets knocked out of the ring, Goku fights and gives up, and Gohan is the last challenger. Cell is too busy b****ing about fighting Gohan though.

Cell: Please don't let me fight him! First off, I'm still hurt and second, he's a waste of time!

Goku: Well take this bean and shove it up your a**!

Will Cell ever fight Gohan? Will Bardock and King Vegeta make their appearance in this episode like I said? Find out today on The Young and the Senseless.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Cell, don't make me come up there!" said CMG to Cell still floating in the sky. She gets up from her chair holding a small energy of light in her hands.

"Huh?" said Goku. "How did you make that?"

"Make what?" said CMG as she holds a familiar energy blast in her hand.

"Make the Genki Dama?" said Goku.

*Genki Dama?* said King Kai. *Goku! That's the Spirit Bomb, you idiot!*

"Oops! Sorry King Kai!" said Goku. "I guess I'm thinking of the Japanese name of the attack that's supposed to be called the Soul Bomb." (A/N: Well, that's what I heard anyway.)

"I had some training while you were on Namek kicking Freeza's sorry a** around for 2 hours, 13 minutes, and 41 seconds, remember?" said CMG.

"YOU know the exact time it took me to defeat Freeza?" said Goku.

"Idiot! I am the author of this story, okay?" said CMG.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," said Goku as CMG starts innocently throwing the Spirit Bomb in between her hands.

"You wouldn't dare!" said Cell as CMG smirks.

"I would if you don't fight Gohan," said CMG. "Other than that, the Earth wants to say hello!"

"Fine, I'll fight the little son of a b****!" said Cell as he eats the Senzu Bean and flies to the ground. Trunks comes out of the cave as Gohan takes his fighting stance.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"YOU JUST DIDN'T CALL ME A B****, YOU B******!" cried Chi-chi as she goes outside to throw logs through the woods, scaring any animal within a 10-mile radius away.

'Man, Chi-chi's really p*** off!' thought Ox-King as he hides in the closet.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gohan and Cell looked at each other as Cell looked at him rather bored. He yawns for the tenth time as Gohan starts to power up. As this is going on, the Z-Fighters were thinking in fragmented sentences.

'Is this the power that...' thought Piccolo.

'...Goku was talking...' thought Trunks.

'...about last week when...' thought Krillin.

'...Yajarobi got stuck on the toilet because...' thought Tien.

'...he freaked out about...' thought Piccolo.

'...The Old Country Buffet opening?' finished Vegeta. 'I really should go there sometime!'

(A/N: Screw the original saying! I thought this one up pretty late around 1 in the morning and I thought it was hilarious!)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile, fire burns as the 'camera' spans down to two full-breed Saiya-jin who were not aware of anything that was going on above since they defeated Freeza for the umph-teenth time. Bardock was stretching his taxed muscles as King Vegeta spat on Freeza's temporarily broken body.

"That's what you get for trying to f*** with the Legendary Super Saiya-jin back on Namek while I'm possessing it!" said King Vegeta as he follows Bardock.

"Man! Freeza's getting too easy to beat up!" said Bardock. "I wish we could have some more fun!"

"Did someone say 'fun'?" said a familiar voice as Bibi-di appears out of nowhere.

"Yes," said both of the Saiya-jin.

"Well today's your lucky day!" said Bibi-di.

"Why?" said Bardock.

"There's a tournment called The Cell Games," said Bibi-di.

"Cell Games?" said King Vegeta. "That is a really bad title if you'd ask me!"

"Not so fast," said Bibi-di. "Watch as I use my Majin powers to show you what's going on! Fwoom!"

A cloud appears as they see Gohan flying into a bunch of rocks. Cell laughs at him and taunts Goku as Cell tries to get Goku to fight again. Goku doesn't fight and Gohan comes out angry.

"So?" said Bardock.

"Don't you guys see, I'm offering you a chance to have some fun!" said Bibi-di. "This guy is much stronger than Freeza, I'm sure!"

"So, are you saying that we can go to the Cell Games?" said Bardock.

"Yes, but only if you raise some havoc," said Bibi-di.

"What do we have to do?" said King Vegeta.

"Possess the half-breed," said Bibi-di.

"Which one? Gohan or Trunks?" said Bardock.

"You can't be anymore dense!" cried Bibi-di. "I want you to possess Gohan!"

"My own grandson!" said Bardock. "Why?"

"He's got a tremendous power that he's afraid to show right now and I only think it's right for you two to show him what it is," said Bibi-di.

"We'll go," said King Vegeta. "Do we owe you anything this time?"

"Nah, this one's on the house," said Bibi-di as he starts chanting a bunch of words that sound like he's been watching too much Beavis and Butt-head and pulls a hood over his head. "I am the Great Cornholio! I need TP for my bumhole!" Bardock and King Vegeta face vault as Bibi-di laughs. "Okay, just step through the portal."

"What portaallllllllll..." said both of them as they disappear.

"Oops! Minor mistake," said Bibi-di.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ooff!" said Bardock and King Vegeta as they fall on top of Tien, knocking him down to avoid getting hit by one of the Cell Jr.'s punches.

"Stupid Bibi-di," said King Vegeta as he dusts himself off. "So, this is Earth, huh?"

"This place sucks," said Bardock. "It's too bright."

"There the half-breed!" said King Vegeta in delight. "Shall we?"

"Of course," said Bardock as they run down to the battlefield.

Little did they know, CMG was watching this whole scene as she quickly appears in front of the ground where the ring used to be. She puts up a blocking post to stop the Saiya-jin from possessing Gohan for the moment.

"Name and identification," said CMG as she pulls out a bulletin board.

"Bardock, father of Kakarot, AKA Goku to you," said Bardock.

"King Vegeta, father of the Prince of Saiya-jins, Vegeta," said King Vegeta.

"Hmmm... I thought you were both a part of Mr. Satan's posse," said CMG as she pulls on the chain to let them through. "Thank you. Enjoy the fight!"

"Let's both possess him since Vegeta's not with us," said Bardock.

"Good idea," said King Vegeta as they both manage to control Gohan in seconds.

"Huh?" said Cell as Gohan looks at him strangely.

"You suck," said King Vegeta. "You know that?"

"What do you mean?" said Cell.

"We think you're an idiot for not knowing how strong my grandson is," said Bardock.

"What are you talking about? Why are you talking in two different voices?" said Cell.

"Because, we are possessing him!" said Bardock/King Vegeta.

Cell screams like a little girl as Gohan regains control of his body.

"Huh?" said Gohan. "That's funny. I felt something inside of me..."

*Hi, grandson,* said Bardock's voice in Gohan's head.

"Grandpa!" said Gohan. "Don't tell me you possessed me!"

"You're possessed?" said Cell.

*Well actually, Vegeta's dad also is possessing you too, so we're going to help you gain control of this power that's hidden inside of you to come out,* said Bardock.

"No! I don't want to!" cried Gohan. "If I let it go, I don't know what will happen! I came close to hurting my friends the last time I did and I don't want to do it again!"

"I heard you say that earlier, but I'm still trying to make you do it, no matter how much you b**** about it," said Cell as he turns towards his "creations." "Okay kids, time to kill them all."

"Nooooo!" cried Gohan as his hair starts to waver.

'Ah yes,' thought Cell. 'This is good. I should provoke him a bit more.' "Okay, whoever gets to kill first is going to Disney Land before I blow it up!"

"...and it seems like Gohan's struggling to not give up!" said CMG. "The Z-Fighters are barely holding their ground as Goku, father of Gohan is getting pounded into the ground by a jackhammer."

"What jackhammer?" said Cell.

"This one, daddy!" said one of the 7 (8?) Cell Jr.'s on a jackhammer that's pounding Goku into the ground.

"Where did you get it?" said Cell.

"At the construction site before I blew it up!" said Cell Jr.

"After you're done with it, can I use it?" said Cell.

"Okay!" said Cell Jr.

Suddenly, a clanking sound is heard as #16's head came rolling down on to the battlefield between Gohan and Cell as his eyes spun.

"Wee... that was fun!" said #16 as Gohan and the others face vault. Cell turns around.

"What?!" said Cell as Gohan gets back up on to his feet.

"Android 16," said Gohan.

"Gah! Where's that corny music coming from?" said Vegeta.

"FUNimation," said CMG. "You guys can spare yourselves from going crazy right now. Besides, I won't be able to report if you mess up!"

"Gohan, there's no need for you to hold it in anymore," said #16. "Just let it go."

"You mean, right here? Right now?" said Gohan. "But I don't want to do that."

"Just do it," said #16.

"Fine," said Gohan as the 'camera' switches over to CMG who's cheeks are red with embarrassment as she covers her eyes.

"Gohan, that's not what he meant when he told you to 'let it go'," said CMG. "Pull up your pants, kid!"

"So, that's what the (censor) looks like," said Cell. "What are you doing, CMG?"

"Sorry, but there are some kiddies out there who do not need to know that kind of stuff before they get into health class!" said CMG.

"Well, I hope you make an undubbed version without these d*** things bleeping out my words all of the time, b****!" said Cell.

"Cell..." said CMG as she holds the Spirit Bomb in her hand again.

"I'm shutting up," said Cell.

"Sorry," said Gohan. "I thought that's what you meant."

"No, I was trying to make you realize the power that you're afraid of," said #16. "I know that you don't like to fight, but there are some people, like Cell who won't listen to..."

"Yeah, and I will start by not listening to your big fat mouth," said Cell as he crushes #16's head.

"*gasp*!" said Gohan.

*Man, that sucks,* said Bardock.

*Yeah, now he's a recycled can,* said King Vegeta.

'Shut-up,' said Gohan.

"Yet another fighter you could have saved," said Cell.

'I hate Funimation, so I'm going to do something so I can hear the original music with this story!' thought CMG as Unmei No Hi (Spirit Vs. Spirit) plays in the background.

*Gah! Turn it off!* said Bardock and King Vegeta.

'Cue flying bird sequence,' thought CMG as a bird flies around. 'Okay, then the rest is up to him.'

*A pity,* said King Vegeta. *That scrap metal was very informative and he could had made a good guard.*

*Yeah, but he's on their side, isn't he?* said Bardock.

*Oh yeah,* said King Vegeta.

'Can you two please shut-up!' thought Gohan. 'I'm trying to get angry.'

*Be our guest,* said Bardock.

'Thank you,' thought Gohan.

"Well?" said Cell as he noticed Gohan crunched down.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" cried Gohan as dust flies around as his energy flies up higher and higher. All of the fighting stops. Trunks has a sword to his throat, Vegeta has a pair of scissors at the ends of his hair, and Goku was lifting his head up from the cement that was being poured all over him. Piccolo had a can of Pepsi near his mouth as he looks at Gohan in shock.

"Gohan!" said Piccolo. 'D***! He's really powerful! I'm no longer as strong as he is! Oh well. I'll become strong again eventually.'

The dust floats as Cell's leg stands there. Cell was on the other side of the battle field without his left leg as he cringes in a corner cowering like the wuss he is. Gohan, standing their in his SSJ2 form, had tears in his eyes as they flowed upward and the tape recorder that CMG brought along exploded.

"Well, I guess I'll have to get dad to buy me a new tape recoder," said CMG as she pulls out a dust pan and cleans up the garbage. "I might as well sweep up the pieces of #16's head while I'm at it so that no one gets hurt."

A few minutes pass and Gohan transforms again into his SSJ2 form. Cell is still surprised.

"Didn't you do that all ready?" said Cell.

"Did what?" said Gohan.

"You know, transform?" said Cell.

"Oh," said Gohan. "I don't know. Anyway, I'm going to kill your children needlessly now."

"You b******!" said Cell as Gohan steals the Senzu Beans and kills all of the Cell Jrs. easily.

"Yay," said the Z-Fighters flatly as they get healed up.

"Now it's time for you to face my wrath, Cell," said Gohan. "But first, I want to say the how foolish you are for pushing me to this power. You are an idiot. Thank you."

"Ummm... you are just a kid!" said Cell. "I am a God compared to you!"

"Shut-up," said Gohan. "Dende's a God, not you."

"You d*** brat! He's a wuss!" said Cell.

"What did you call my friend, you s***?" said Gohan.

"Gohan, you shouldn't be cussing," said Goku. "Remember how I grounded you after I returned home from my trip to Namek."

Gohan shutters. Goku managed to ground Gohan by sparring with him endlessly in the arctic while Goku was in his Kaioken form and Gohan nearly froze to death several times. He also came close to being burned to death as well since Goku was firing blasts and stuff at him.

"Well dad, I'm p***ed off!" said Gohan as he turns towards his dad. "How did you even manage to stand having yourself possessed by some certain Saiya-jin fathers?"

"Huh?!" said Goku as he remembers King Vegeta and Bardock possessing him. "Well, if they're possessing you, then they should have a weaker grip with your powers."

"Or so you think," said King Vegeta as he fires a blast at Goku.

"Dad! What in the f*** is wrong with you?" said Vegeta. "You're possessing a half-breed to fight Cell?"

"Well duh," said King Vegeta. "Bardock and I want to raise some havoc, my boy. By the way, nice hairstyle. Did you dye it blonde or have it highlighted."

"Argh!" said Vegeta as Goku, Trunks, and Piccolo had to restrain him from attacking Gohan/King Vegeta.

Cell starts laughing, but is immediately punched in the gut by Gohan/King Vegeta. He goes staggering as Gohan gets possessed by Bardock and he punches him in the gut to prove his point.

"You shouldn't have threatened this planet, you green, weak Willy toad!" said Bardock.

The Z-Fighters, minus Goku, laugh.

"What's a green, weak Willy toad?" said Goku.

"Man, you don't know? You suck!" said Krillin.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

CMG: Well, it's time to cut off my fanfic fun! At least I'm getting better. I've received some positive reviews from my other fanfics, but let me just say that my first chaptered one was quite a challenge on my part. I know this wasn't as funny as the last chapter, but I'm trying to get myself back into the mode of writing.

Bardock: We're glad that you've included us in this story!

K. Vegeta: Yes.

CMG: That's good.

Gohan: (walks in still in his SSJ2 form) When will they stop possessing me?

Bardock: When he's dead.

Gohan: How am I supposed to kill him if you two keep bothering me?

K. Vegeta: Because he's a Saiya-jin like us.

Gohan: Only about 3 1/2 human, 4 1/2 Saiya-jin, and 1 Namek are inside of his own body as well as...

Bardock: (covers his ears with his hands) La, la, la! I'm not listening!

K. Vegeta: (sweatdrop)

CMG: (over singing) REVIEW if you want more! Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top as well as sprinkles? I don't care if you flame me! Even if it's just to make a suggestion! Until then, bye-bye! (gets into car and goes off to work at Kroger again)