Sailor Moon: Secondary Characters: Scalene
{Jon Carp}
Address: jcarp@med.unc.edu

Special Thanks to Vic Naqvi, for letting me steal his idea. Also for
reading and helping with this and the previous chapter.








Stop, Dave, stop. My mind is going, I can feel it. Stop. There is
no question. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm
afraid.--HAL





Michiru (and Haruka) walked past the window of the cafe on
their way somehwere. Setsuna nearly spat her coffee across the room.

She put the mug down quickly. She closed her eyes, inhaled
deeply, and then let the breath out as slowly as she could. She was
okay again.

Except for the tingling in her gut and the image that would
not allow itself to be forced out of her brain.

DAMMIT!






Haruka and Michiru lay on the bed side by side. Someone
banged on the door, adding percussion to Hotaru's calling voice. "For
godsake guys, you're making us sick. When are you gonna soundproof
your room like I asked you?"

"Tomorrow," Michiru called back. "Got the plans and
everything."

"Pfft. Right. You two enjoy disturbing and annoying us,
don't you?"

"I'm really suprised you didn't figure that out until now,"
Haruka yelled.

Hotaru laughed and walked away.

Michiru stretched. "I call the shower," she said.

"It's not who calls it. It's who gets there first. And I'm
faster than you are."

"Yeah, but I'm craftier. I'll...trip you or something."

Haruka giggled, and was about to say something, but was cut
off by the sound of someone screaming.

Both of them jumped in suprise and then looked around for the
source. It was very close by.

Setsuna was sitting in the corner, sobbing and screaming her
head off. Michiru ran over and tried to comfort her. It did no good.

But after a while she did stop screeching. She covered her
face with her hands. "It's not fair," she repeated over and over all
night. "It's NOT FAIR!"

Michiru held her softly, bewildered. "It's okay, Setsuna,"
she whispered. "We're here. I'm here."






"What's the matter with her?"

"We don't know, Hotaru." Michiru sighed out of frustration
and anxiety. "It really could be anything."

"But she's okay now, right?"

"As far as we know," Haruka said. "She calmed down, what, an
hour?" Michiru nodded. "An hour ago. But she still hasn't said anything. She..."

Setsuna walked into the room, eyes possibly bloodshot. She
wasn't smiling. She wasn't crying.

"I'm sorry making you worry," she announced weakly. "I didn't
mean to. It's just...being alive again has been very difficult for
me."

Just old Setsuna, trying to keep her emotions completely
inside all the time. Quite a relief for all of them. "We
understand," Hotaru said.

"Thank you," Setsuna said, keeping her emotions completely
inside. "I'm glad you're..." She realized Michiru was looking at
her. "Please, don't do that. I can't...your eyes...please stop."

But nobody understood what she meant. They all kept looking
right at her.

"Please, Michiru, please...oh god, please!" She ran into the
bathroom and threw up in the toilet.

Hotaru followed, and Michiru tried too, but Haruka's hand on
her shoulder stopped her short.

She turned around and they looked into each other's eyes. The
look on Haruka's face reflected in Michiru's pupils was the same as
always when they gazed at each other. It was far too familiar not to
be noticed in others.

Michiru broke away and remembered what was happening. "What
are you doing? We have to help Setsuna! She's sick!"

"No," Haruka whispered. She held Michiru tight and looked at
her tenderly, trying to prepare one or the other or both for the
apparent truth.

"She loves you, Michiru."

Knees buckled, and Michiru would have collapsed to the ground
had she not been supported. "What? No...how do you..."

"I can tell. It's true."

"But... but I don't understand, how could she...why..."
Michiru's words dissolved into tears and sobbing babbles. She held
Haruka as tight as she could and cried on her shoulder.






I learned, after so many years, that cliches are never right.
Except one. I've heard it over and over, in multiple languages and
many different forms, and I KNOW how true it is.

"Beauty is fleeting."

Well, of course it is. I've seen so many handsome men and
beautiful women, and what's become of them? Dust. Dust is not very
attractive.

Yes, there were romances at the beginning, and that short
infatuation with the prince, but I've learned a lot since then. And I
promised myself that I would be alone forever, and...

blue shining waters at ME green waves smile bright cool warm
love love love lov...

NO! It's Haruka and Michiru it's Uranus and Neptune always
for forever that's the way it is! I'm alone! I have to be. I'm
Pluto, Pluto is alone. I...

She held me. Oh god, she looked at me and her eyes (blue and
wonderful) looked into me and she loves me she took care of me.
That magical moment that never could have happened but did.

She touched me on the hand and my body tingled and I knew I couldn't
keep my own promise. And she smiled and said "Thank you, thank you".
And then later noises sounds coming from their room all the
time and she forgets about me.

Just ask her who she loves most. "Haruka," she'll say.
"Haruka Haruka Haruka."

why?




Overprotectiveness goes hand in hand with bitterness,
especially when both are justified. It was hard to tell which
motivated Haruka's actions over the next few weeks.

First she just tried to seperate the two, but the fact that
they lived in the same house made that exceedingly difficult.

Then, attempting to use peer pressure to her advantage, she
told everybody everything, accenting especially Setsuna's bizarre
behavior. She urged them to talk to Michiru, and bring her to her
senses, just in case she actually was being tempted. They all saw
through this easily.

The problem was recognized, and they did try to figure out
what to do about it. Their discussions did not produce much, however,
even when all the senshi (except those involved) attended.

Rei was obviously disgusted. "I don't need to think about
this," she said. "You're putting pictures in my head I don't want."

"We're so sorry," Makoto said. "But we need to do something.
I mean, Setsuna's definately not acting like herself here. I can't
imagine she'd ever do anything like this."

"She would," Hotaru replied quietly. "I know her better than
all of you, and she would do this. I've suspected it for a long time.
Probably longer than she has."

"How many goddamn lesbians are there?!" Rei suddenly burst
out. "Is this some kind of outer thing? Hotaru, tell me the truth,
you like girls, don't you?"

Hotaru giggled despite herself. "No, Rei, I don't."

"Not yet. Listen, I say we should just leave them alone and
let them take care of this. It's not like they..." Rei trailed off,
and stared at the door. Michiru was there.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your meeting," she muttered. "But I
need to talk to Ami."

They were all suprised, but Ami stood up. "Um...sure," she
said. "Excuse us, guys."

They both went into the next room. Michiru shut the door
behind them. "Thank you."

"What do you need?"

Michiru sighed. "Some advice," she said. "I'm sorry to
involve you, but I need your brain. I need someone who can think
things out logically and not rely on their feelings."

Ami wasn't quite sure what to say. "Well...Michiru, you're
probably not going to want to hear this, but I don't think I can
help. It's your decision, and to tell you the truth, logic is not the
best way to go about it."

"You don't understand. I think with my heart always, and here
I don't know what to do."

Poor girl. Well, if she wanted logic and/or structure for her
thinking, it was the least Ami could do to supply it for her. "Okay,
first things first," she said. "Do you love Haruka?"

"Yes."

"Do you love Setsuna?"

Michiru paused miserably. "I don't know."

Ami sighed. "That means yes, doesn't it?"

Michiru nodded, tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean to," she
muttered. "It just happened, I couldn't help it." She shook her
head and seemed to snap out of a trance. "But that's not important,"
she said quickly. "My feelings don't matter. I just don't want to
hurt either of them."

"You're going to have to," Ami said. "There's no way around
it. The only suggestion I can make is to choose the one you love
more, and try to support the other as much as possible."

Michiru nodded. "You're right," she murmured sadly. "But oh
god, I hate myself."






Setsuna stood in her room facing the mirror. Her face was
completely emotionless.

As it should be.

She stared at herself. "That's right," she muttered. "That's
right, Pluto. That's the way you're supposed to be."

The reflection had tears dripping out of its eyes. This
infuriated her.

"No," she growled. "No. You're not like that. You don't
love people. You're FOND of people. Yes, that's it. You're very
FOND of Michiru because she's kind to you. And...you're confused
because... being alive again has made you feel strong emotions for
the first time since you were a child. And so you've latched onto
someone you're fond of. Yes, just a completely normal reaction."

She thought of Michiru. She could see the reflection's heart
flutter.

"Stop," she commanded, but the person in the mirror was
finally letting itself feel what it needed to feel. Too late to turn
back now. "Stop," she said again. It refused.

"STOP!!" she screamed, and flung her fist towards the glass.
The reflection broke and exploded.

She began to sob again.







Setsuna stood outside Michiru's room, wiping away her tears.
Unlike Haruka, with that terrified/arrogant attitude, she knew what
she had to do.

She put her hand on the doorknob and closed her eyes.

"I've forgotten who I'm supposed to pray to. I'm sorry. But
whoever you are, please let her choose me. Please please please
please please..."

She went in. It was very cold, for some reason.

Michiru sat in her favorite chair, one and a half empty boxes
of kleenex on the arm.

Setsuna walked over to her and clasped her hand in her own.
"Setsuna," the girl murmured, looking straight ahead.

"Michiru," Setsuna pleaded. "Don't choose me. Please, you
can't. You and Haruka are supposed to be together forever. Pluto is
alone, and Neptune and Uranus love each other. Anything that's
different from that will only hurt us."

"I don't care. I don't care about any of that. I...I love
you both. I don't know what to do."

"Choose her. Think of all you've been through together. She
loves you more than I ever could. Please." Setsuna was getting
choked up. She stood up and left quickly.







They're both so beautiful. And they love me. They don't
deserve to go through this. I don't want to have to choose one.

But I do. Setsuna, she seems so cold and distant, but I
remember when she forgave me, the look on her face. She cares so
much.

But Haruka...is Haruka. How could I not choose her? How
could...

dark cold fading hand on fading hand grip tighter can't let go
can't lose her have to tighter maybe last time I feel her ever...

There's no choice to be made.

We live together, we die together, we live together. I'm
sorry, Setsuna.

Who do I love most?

Haruka. Haruka Haruka Haruka.

I'm so sorry.









Things were set right again. Setsuna's mission had been completed.

She stood on the edge of the office building's roof, tears
blown away and not reaching the street below.

"Will that happen to me? Will I just be carried by the wind?"

No. She will go straight down, her velocity increasing, until
the sudden deceleration will splatter her on the sidewalk, and she'll
be dead again.

Death. It will be beautiful. Not as beautiful as Michiru,
but close.

She whispered one final apology to herself and the universe
for forsaking her duty, but still could not bring herself to care
anymore.

She jumped.

At least they'll be happy. Michiru and Haruka together like
they always have been and they always will be, like they're supposed
to be.

Like they're supposed to be. Michiru and...Haruka.

Time slowed as things worked themselves out in her mind. A
smile spread across her face. She laughed and disappeared.







Two babies thousands of years and miles apart found themselves
in each other's cribs. This sudden, bizarre shift probably would have
caused tantrums, if not for the comforting green-haired woman standing over them.






Haruka opened her eyes and smiled. She reached over and lay
her hand on familiar form next to her.

Michiru stretched. "Good morning," she murmured.

"Morning," Haruka replied. She leaned over and kissed her
lover. Then she got up and walked over to the mirror.

"Yeesh!" she exclaimed. "I slept on my hair wrong again.
Man, I'm going to be combing it all day."

"I'm telling you, cut it," Michiru said. "I think I'd like it
shorter, anyway."

Haruka faked a pout. "I thought you loved me the way I am."

Michiru jumped up and gave Haruka a peck on the lips. "I do.
It's just that your hair's ridiculously long."

Haruka laughed. "You're so cute," she said.







Michiru (and Haruka) walked past the window of the cafe on
their way somewhere. Setsuna nearly spat her coffee across the room.

She put the mug down quickly. She closed her eyes, inhaled
deeply, and then let the breath out as slowly as she could. She was
okay again.

Except for the tingling in her gut and the image that would
not allow itself to be forced out of her brain.

DAMMIT!

Michiru. Michirumichirumichirumichirumichirumichiru...she
hummed it to herself. It sounded like birds singing.

She wanted to touch her. Hold her and kiss her and love her
and be loved back and...


NO. They're meant to be together. I'm not part of it. I
just have to keep repeating that to myself, and eventually I'll start
believing it.


Setsuna stood up, ran a hand through her short blonde hair,
and walked out of the cafe.