Sailor Moon: Secondary Characters: Evil
{Jon Carp}
address: jcarp@med.unc.edu






Setsuna faced the wall. The paper was light blue and finely
striped. A more imaginative person could probably have seen whole
worlds in the pattern, even distorted silhouettes to keep her company,
but Setsuna could visualize none of that. She just sat and stared.

Hotaru appeared behind her. "Whatcha doing?" she asked
brightly.

"Nothing," Setsuna muttered.

"That's not true," Hotaru replied, eternally keeping her
upbeat attitude. "You've been here three days, Setsuna. Not even
you could just sit there doing nothing for that long."

There was silence for a minute. "Fine. I've been thinking,"
Setsuna answered finally.

"What about?"

Again, there was a pause. Eventually Setsuna turned around
and looked at Hotaru. There was no expression at all on her face.
"Michiru," she said softly.

"Still? I thought you said you were going to get over her.
I mean, technically none of... you and her... actually ever happened.
The gods erased it. You, me, and they are the only ones who remember
it."

Setsuna was silent. "Okay," she agreed eventually. "I
wasn't thinking about her."

"Well, then what were you thinking about?"

"Endymion."

"Oh my god," Hotaru muttered with disgust. "What the hell is
the matter with you?"

Setsuna didn't respond.

"Michiru I can understand," Hotaru continued. "She's your
friend. She's kind to you. It fits that you'd attatch yourself to
her. Him, on the other hand, I just don't see."

"Hotaru, shut up."

"Don't say that. If I shut up we'd just be sitting here in
silence."

"Fine with me."

They sat in silence. Hotaru shuffled her feet uncomfortably.
Setsuna lay down and looked at the ceiling for a while. "Hey,
Hotaru," she said after a few minutes, "I've decided to become evil."

"What?" Hotaru asked, disappoined. "Why?"

"Bitterness and jealousy. The usual."

"But that's not enough," Hotaru pointed out. "That's enough
to hate somebody, but evil? Pure evil? That's a million times what
you're feeling." She went over to Setsuna and knelt beside her. "You
don't want to be evil," she said. "Trust me. You have no idea what
you lose. All the time you can feel something just... consuming you
and you feel like you should fight it off, but you can't, because it's
what you are. Do you understand?"

"No," Setsuna answered blankly. "But it doesn't matter. I
need something. I've never been alive, do you know that? Never."

"Setsuna... are you okay? You're not making much sense."

"Why the hell should I?" Setsuna snapped. "I've been making
sense my entire life, and what has it gotten me?"

Hotaru couldn't think of a thing.

"I haven't slept in six hundred and forty-eight years, Hotaru.
Do you know what happens when I try?"

"Setsuna..."

"I dream. I see myself just standing in an empty room, and it
looks normal, but I know I'm in the future somehow. I just look
around, and fall to my knees, and start sobbing. That's all I do.
Once in a while, I'll get frustrated and start yelling and screaming,
but it doesn't do any good."

"Setsuna, you never told me anything about this."

The woman ignored her dead friend's statement. "The last time
before I decided not to sleep anymore, he came. He just stood over me
while I wept, and looked at me with those eyes, and smiled so
tenderly, and I looked up and thought he was going to..." She shook
her head to keep from getting distracted. "Anyway, he didn't. He
grabbed me by the hair, and told me to shut up. And of course I
couldn't, so he hit me over and over, and started... choking me,
and... then I woke up, and saw that I had been strangling myself. I
can't do this anymore, Hotaru."

"Do WHAT? I don't understand!"

"I can't keep doing anything for them. I've been doing it my
whole life, and it's going to drive me crazy. I used to think
that if I did my job, I would be rewarded with happiness. I deserved
it, and since the world was such a fair place, I'd get it. God, I was
such a fool.

"I have no idea what happiness is, Hotaru. I know I felt
something when I was with Michiru, but it could have been
constipation, for all I know. My entire goddamn existence has been
dominated by bland, watered-down depression. Sometimes, like when we
were dead, it's less intense than others, but it's always there, and
it's always everything."

"But you can do something about that, can't you?" Hotaru
asked, beginning to get a bit scared. "You can do whatever you
want now."

"We're not talking about me!" Setsuna suddenly yelled.
"We're talking about them! It's their rules I've had to live by, and
their happiness I've been watching. The other thing I was always
taught, was that love was the only thing that would save us. Even
when everything else had forsaken us, It would remain and sustain us
through the difficult times."

She looked up, her eyes filled with tears. "That's the way it
is with everyone else, isn't it? I've watched Harukaandmichiru.
I've watched them for weeks at a time, when I've had nothing else to
do.
"I've loved twice. One was declared unfit for existence, and
the other is forbidden. It's THEIR GODDAMN RULES!" She looked around,
confused and suprised at her own intensity. "I've got to stop before
it kills me," she continued. "I've got to do something for me, and
not them, and evil's the only thing I can think of."

"Please," Hotaru said. "I'm begging you. Don't do this."

"I've already decided, Hotaru. I was never asking your
permission, anyway."

"So why are you telling me about this?"

Setsuna licked her lips. "Because I want you to join me. I
want you to be evil with me."

"Setsuna..."

"No, hear me out. This whole thing fucked you, too. Their
rules made me kill you, and it's because of their little pecking order
that you're still dead. If you were Usagi, don't you think you'd have
been brought back to life in a second? We can change it, Hotaru.
Together."

Hotaru looked at her. She was completely serious. "I'm
sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I can't."

"But why? You..."

"I just can't, Setsuna! I'm happy. You can't be evil when
you're happy."

Setsuna closed her eyes, causing a tear to roll down her right
cheek. She wiped it away blankly. "Do I at least have your support?"
she asked.

Hotaru didn't answer. She stuttered for a few seconds, but
then gave up and shook her head.

Yet another silence.

"Get out," Setsuna growled.

"But Setsuna, I..."

"GET OUT! And don't ever come to me again!"

A tear rolled down Hotaru's left cheek. She disappeared.









Professor Tomoe looked up. He smiled with his lips.
"Setsuna! Glad to see you!" No, he wasn't. "Do you want anything
to drink?"

"No," she said politely. "How are you doing? The last time I
saw you, you seemed in pretty bad shape. About Hotaru's death, I
mean."

He looked up sharply. She gave off an innocent smile, taking
pleasure in the fact that he knew she'd just delibrately caused him
pain. "I'm fine," he said shortly. "Just fine."

"That's good," she said. They weren't looking at each other.

"Um... why did you come here?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you," she said.

"Okay. Please make it quick. As you can see, I have a lot
of work to do." He indicated the short stack of papers on his desk.

She smiled. "I'm evil now," she said.

"What?"

"I'm evil now," she said a bit louder. "Anti-good. Scourge
of love and justice, and all that bullshit. I need to come up with an
impressive way of putting it."

He leaned back in his chair, pondering if anyone would hear
him if suddenly it became necessary to scream at the top of his lungs.
"Okay," he said slowly. "Setsuna... I've been going to see somebody
for a while now. Maybe you should... y'know, think about it."

She laughed. Fake, like normal. "You think I'm crazy," she
said. "But I'm not. I'm EVIL. There's a huge difference."

"Yes, but why are you telling me this?" he asked, staring at
her suspiciously.

"I want you to join me," she said. "I wan't you to be evil
with me."

He checked possible escape routes and calculated his chances
of getting away if she attacked him. Bad, he realized. Very bad.
"Setsuna, do you know what you're saying?" he asked. "You're saying
you're... evil. And you want me to be evil with you." She nodded.
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he said
apprehensively. "If you don't mind."

She laughed falsely again. "I thought you'd resist. But you
don't understand. You've had experience with my side, haven't you?
Even if you were possessed. Don't you ever miss it?"

"No, I can't say that I ever do. Now please, Setsuna, leave
me alone. I..."

"One more thing," she said quickly. "Just let me tell you one
more thing, and then if you still want me to leave, I'll go."

He decided that it was better than death, and nodded.

She smiled. "I didn't tell you the truth about what happened
to Hotaru," she said. "We decided that it would be best to spare your
feelings. She didn't die in a hit-and-run. She was possessed by
Pharoah 90, and it was decided that, to ensure that he couldn't
achieve his goals, the only way was to... kill her. So we chose a
time when she was asleep, and there'd be little pain, and Usagi went
up and did her magic... whatever her power is, and just murdered her.
I didn't want her to do it, but she said it was the only way." She
leaned forward. "That is what we're fighting against," she
whispered. "THAT cruelty. THAT brand of 'Love and Justice.' Will
you come with me?"

Throughout her speech his face hadn't shifted from disbelief
to horror to grief to anger. Instead, he grew increasingly amused.
He laughed. It was real. "You really don't respect my intelligence,
do you?" he asked, grinning. "She visits me too, Setsuna. And she
told me what really happened. You can stop wasting your time here.
The door is behind you." He started working on his papers, refusing
to look up. A few minutes later he heard the door slam.

He closed his eyes and let in a deep breath of relief. "Good
for you, Poppa," someone said behind him. "Good for you."








Rei grinned. "So, Mako-chan, what's this I hear about you
meeting somebody, hmmm?"

Makoto raised an eyebrow. "You've been talking to Minako."

"Mmm-hmm. Now c'mon, spill."

Makoto crossed her arms and glared at her friend. "You're
gossipy today."

"Well, we're done with our work for the day, aren't we?" Rei
replied brightly. "And Usagi-chan and Ami-chan want to know, too,
but they were too embarrassed to ask, so I have to report back to them
later."

Makoto rolled her eyes. "You're all out to get me, aren't
you?"

Rei grinned again. "Yep. So, what's she like?"

"She's really nice," Makoto replied, not batting an eyelid.
Lying came so easily to her, which was odd because she never used to
do it before. "I... um, well, I met her in my shrink's waiting room."

"You're kidding, right?" Rei chuckled.

"Stop that," Makoto grumbled. "It's not how it sounds."

"Good," Rei replied, "because it sounds absolutely
insane."

"No, she's really sweet. And there's nothing wrong with her.
She just wanted to go over some things, okay? So stop thinking that."

Rei tried to look innocent. "Me? What would I be thinking?
So, when she kisses you, do you feel sparks? Electroshock therapy?"

"Ha ha ha," Makoto grunted. She once again marveled at how
open-minded and forgiving her friends were, and how much she hated
them for it. "It's not a joke. Things are really going well between
us, okay?"

Rei rolled her eyes and was about to say something, but
realized that Makoto was staring up behind her. She turned around and
saw Setsuna standing there.

"May I speak with you for a moment, Rei?" she asked

Rei found it impossible to say no, and nodded. "Um... excuse
me, Mako-chan."

"Sure," Makoto said. "See you tomorrow." She headed for the
door.

"Goodbye, Makoto," Setsuna said. "Enjoy the pasta primavera
you're going to eat for dinner tonight. And I'm sure you'll have fun
tomorrow night, which will be the first time you and your new, heh,
'girl'friend have sex." She waved cheerily. Makoto stopped, blinked,
shrugged, and walked out the door.

"What's this about?" Rei asked. "Something happened?
Something going to happen?"

"No," Setsuna said, giving off a little chuckle. "Nothing
like that." She looked at the younger senshi carefully. "We're very
alike," she mused. "Much more so than you may think."

"What do you mean?"

"We're both observers," Setsuna said. "We just watch, without
ever bringing ourselves to force any changes. It's what we're used
to."

"Um, Setsuna," Rei said. "Are you sure you..."

"But don't you ever get the urge to fight back? Just do
whatever the hell you want to whomever the hell you want?"

"I..." Rei began, but Setsuna cut her off.

"No. Wait. That's not you. That's Luna. Damn." She
sighed, and closed her eyes, thinking hard. "Oh!" she said, looking
up. "I'm sorry. Let me start over. Ahem. You have a very strong
will, don't you? You don't want anybody to play around with you.
Right?"

"I suppose."

"Well, in that way we're opposites. Or, we used to be, but
I'll get to that later. I let people like Queen Serenity order me
around, and I followed their commands without question. You, on the
other hand, couldn't take that, could you? I mean, you'll take
orders, but only when you truly believe in the end goal. You have
your own mind. I always envied that about you."

"Thank you," Rei said, absolutely bewildered about what this
was all about.

Setsuna smiled. "However," she continued. "If you don't mind
my saying so, you are a bit naive. You've heard that cliche about
power corrupting haven't you? Well, it's true. I've seen it happen
many, many times."

"So?"

"So Usagi might be your friend now, but what about when she's
the queen? Only a fool would believe she'd stay the same. I think
it'll be quite a shock when she suddenly starts saying, 'Do whatever I
say, Mars.' 'Go die on the battlefield for me, Mars.' It happened to
her mother, Rei. And it'll happen to her."

Rei looked up at this impossibly respectable person in
confusion. "Well..." she said slowly. "Even if I did believe you,
which I don't, why are you telling me this? What do you want me to do
about it?"

"We can stop her. Together."

"What do you mean, stop her? What are you talking about?"

"Before she becomes queen." Setsuna couldn't help the smile
that grew on her face. "We have to STOP her." She looked down as the
meaning of her words took effect.

Rei was speechless. Her eyes were larger than normal, her
mouth hung open in horror as if she'd just heard the most terrible
thing she could imagine, which, of course, she had.

"It's the only way," Setsuna said. "I've seen the future, and
it's the only way to save us, and the world. Will you help me?"

As stated before, Rei was speechless.

"Don't let what you've been taught stop you now," Setsuna
continued. "I trust you with this knowledge, because you're the one I
believe is strong enough to do this with me. Plus... there is another
reason."

"What?" Rei asked weakly.

"Revenge." Setsuna leaned closer. "He did the same thing to
me."

Rei looked up, confused. "Who? What are you talking about?
I thought we were talking about Usagi, I thought..."

"Endymion," Setsuna whispered. "He hurt me just like he hurt
you."

"Hurt me? Setsuna, he never hurt me!"

"He left you alone." Setsuna was looking at nothing while she
spoke. "All alone."

"I'm not alone, Setsuna!" Rei protested. "I never have been!
I didn't care about him that much, I mean, it didn't hurt me to let
him go with Usagi. Because... they were happy." She suddenly looked
up, determined. "I can't help you," she said. "I don't care what you
say about the future or anything else."

"You don't understand!" Setsuna hissed. "He left you alone,
remember? He has to pay!"

Rei inhaled with understanding. "My god, Setsuna, is this the
only reason you wanted to..." she couldn't finish the sentence. "Just
out of petty revenge?"

"No," Setsuna answered. "That's not all. It's also
because... I'm evil now, Rei. Evil."

Rei blinked. "What are you talking about? You're not evil."

"I am now," Setsuna said proudly.

"No, I mean, you're not evil. I'd feel it if you were evil."

"What are you talking about?" Setsuna asked, her face
beginning to fall. "Of course I'm evil. I've been evil for five
days."

"No, you haven't." Rei would have laughed had this not been
such a strange situation. "Trust me. I can feel your aura, or
whatever it's called, and it's not evil. It's just empty."

Empty.

"But the...but...I...NO! Evil! I..." Setsuna eventually
gave up trying to complete a phrase and stormed out of the room.

Rei considered trying to figure out what had just happened,
but it sent a chill up her spine just to think about it.

Makoto peeked her head around the corner and glanced around
the room. "Is she gone?"

Rei jumped. "Mako-chan! You startled me." She quickly
walked over and put her arm around Makoto, speaking softly into her
ear and looking around furtively. "Did you overhear what Setsuna-san
said?"

"Uh, no. But I was wondering, she was acting so odd."

Rei shook her head. "No, not odd. It's more than that. She
was... scary. Mako-chan, she said the most horrible things." She
was on the verge of tears all of sudden, remembering.

Makoto, bewildered but assured, wrapped her arms around her
friend. "It's okay, Rei-chan," she whispered, trying to ignore her
already-soaked shoulder. "What was it? Is a new enemy attacking?
You know no one can stand up to us. We're senshi!"

Rei's tears were flowing like whitewater, but she was not
sobbing, not yet. Still, try as she might, she could not make herself
answer the question.

Minutes later, Rei pulled away and wiped her eyes and nose.
She looked up at Makoto with an uncharacteristic, helpless expression.
"Please don't tell Usagi-chan I cried," she said.






Setsuna stood alone in her room, eyes closed and desperately
trying to keep control of her emotions. "Pluto," she whispered. No
response. "Pluto, come here." a little louder. Still no response.
"PLUTO!!"

A small shimmer, and her god was there, annoyed as always.
"What is it?" he asked. "I'm busy."

"Why aren't I evil?" she demanded. "I decided days ago that I
was, but I'm not! What the hell's going on?"

He shook his head. "Wonderful," he muttered. "She's getting
worse."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Oog, my head hurts. Why couldn't I have had a sane
senshi? Like Mercury. Why couldn't I have had Mercury's senshi?"

Setsuna glared at him. "Bad luck," she growled. "Now shut up
about your problems, and tell me why I'm NOT EVIL!!"

"Why do you want to be evil, anyway?" he asked. "You're
supposed to be enjoying yourself, not fucking around with the
alignment of your soul. Why can't you just shut up and be happy,
like the rest of them?"

"Too late," she murmured. "It's your fault for freeing me too
late. Anything that happens from now on is your fault."

"The hell it is." He sighed. "I won't stop you, but anything
stupid you try to do will be your problem."

"Fine. I accept that. I accepted everything about this five
days ago. So why hasn't it worked?"

"You can't just go around saying you're evil and expect it to
be true," Pluto grunted. "You need to DO something evil. That's what
matters."

"I have evil plans," she protested.

"Yeah, well those mean shit, baby. You have to actually carry
them out to mean something. You can't just stall, like you've been
doing. You WERE planning on actually going through with your plans,
weren't you?"

"Of course," she said. "Why wouldn't I?"

Pluto grinned. "Because you're scared."

"I'm not..."

"It's a big change. Anyone would be frightened. Or are you
just worried that you couldn't stomach what you plan on doing?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said stiffly.
"It's nothing I haven't done before."

"Yes, but then you were sure you were doing the best thing.
What about now? You have to be absolutely positive, or you'll be
taking that short trip to Loonyland within a few weeks."

"I'm sure," Setsuna said. "Believe me, I'm sure."

"Of course you are," Pluto said doubtfully. "I suggest you
prove it. Give it a test run. Then you'll know."

"What do you mean, test run? What should I do?"

"Oh, I don't know. Go kill somebody or something. Use your
imagination, but make sure it's complete and total evil." He looked
around suddenly. "Yeah," he muttered to someone who wasn't Setsuna.
"Hold on. Just a second." He lookes at his senshi again. "I gotta
go. Get back to me about this, okay?"

"Sure."

He nodded. "See ya," he said, scratching his ass as he
disappeared.







Setsuna was confused. She wanted more than anything tobe
evil, but was it worth the sacrifice? Losing everything but the
darkness... emptiness is better than pain.

But what the hell kind of life is that?

She smiled, ready and willing to prove herself. She walked to
her door, opened it, and took a deep breath, something tickling her
ear drums teasingly.

Voices from the next room, soft musical deep harsh beautiful.

Harukaandmichiru.

Setsuna smiled and took the first step towards their door.