"New Years Resloutions" Chapter 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's wonderful character, they are owned by some rich guy. I also don't claim ownership of the song "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail sung by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram. Although I do own Angel and Madame Jessibelle
Side notes: (Read if you don't want to be confused) Okay there is a song in this chapter... so that is one thing. And if you have ever heard the song "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail then you know it is sung by two people. Okay to figure out who is singing which part the character speaking/thinking in the paragraph after the lyrics is the one sing that part.
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Duo stood outside Heero's door, the regret consuming him. It was only four days after Christmas and he had already screwed it up with the only person he knew he could love. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' A warm, soft object brushed up against his leg bringing him out of his self-hating thoughts. Looking down it was Angel. Reaching down he gently picked up the small animal.
"What have I done?" he asked the delicate creature he held. A meow was the only reply he received.
"Why did I have to be so pushy? I was just really concerned. We don't know how bad his injuries are. I was only trying to help," he rambled on to Angel. Again he only received a soft meow in reply.
Suddenly a noise caught his attention. Turning he faced the room he had just left in anger. Then he heard something else, like someone falling. 'Heero!' his thoughts jumped. Turning the knob he opened the door.
"Heero are you okay?" he asked into the room.
At fist there was no reply, then it was sudden, "I'm fine, now leave me alone!"
Duo pulled the door closed and turned his back to it again. 'Oh god, I'm sorry please let me be in your life,' his brain and heart cried together. Internally he was weeping, externally he forced a smile, a look of being fine.
"Get away from my room," a cold voice called through the doors. Duo jumped then turned on his heels and bolted down the hall. Running into the nearest room. Books surrounded him as his façade fell apart. Angel still in his arms he collapsed onto a small stool. The tears began to show his eyes were bleary from them. He was now openly weeping, not just inside but also out. His heart shattered in that one instant. 'Oh Heero I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I'm just so worried about you. I'm sorry. Forgive me,' he sobbed to himself.
"Duo?" a voice behind him caught his attention.
Quickly he wiped his tear stained face with the back of his hand, "Yes," he choked.
"Are you alright?" the voice asked.
"Fine," Duo tired to laugh but it only came out as a sob. A figure walked beside him and over to the large windows, it was Quatre.
"I'm fine," Duo continued to fight his need to be near Heero.
"You don't look -" Quatre began.
"You caught me, I'm not fine. We had a fight. He hates me. He doesn't every want to see me again. Never again. I need him, I want to be with him and he hates me hates me he hates me," Duo rambled on without a pause for a breath.
"Whoa slow down. Start from the beginning, talking might help," Quatre replied to the rambled words.
//Somewhere
out there
Beneath
the pale moonlight
Someone's
thinking of me
And
loving me tonight//
"We had a fight," Duo began again, "over whether he was okay. First it was a slight push and he told me he was fine but I insisted."
//Somewhere
out there
Someone's
saying a prayer
That
we'll find one another
In
that big somewhere out there//
'Oh god. Why did I have to get so mad? He was only trying to help. But I am not totally disabled I can get around. He just wouldn't listen. I didn't have to be so mean about it. One little push, that was all. But no I took it beyond that,' Heero's thoughts seemed like a jungle.
//And
even though I know how very far apart we are
It
helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star//
"He smacked my hand away told me to let him be. So I responded angrily, I told him I didn't want to help him anyway. I was so mad at the time, he didn't appreciate my effort and I was doing it all for him," Duo began to ramble a bit again.
//And
when the night starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It
helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky//
'He was only trying to help cause he cares for me. No one has ever cared so much. That's no excuse for my actions. I shouldn't have struck him, but I did. Does he hate me? Will he ever forgive me? What have I done?' Heero's mind raced with questions and feelings.
//Somewhere
out there
If
love cane see us through
Then
we'll be together
Somewhere
out there
Out
where dreams come true//
"He hates me, I was so forceful. I treated him so awful like he was incapable of helping himself. I was just so worried. I just know he never wants to talk to me again. Not after what I said. I told him that maybe this was a mistake. I know it isn't so why did I say that?" Duo was weeping again.
~ ~ ~ ~
'Oh Duo, why do you think this is a mistake. You must hate me after my actions to say something like that. I know you only wanted to help. I am sorry. Please don't stop talking to me, I need you,' Heero battled inside.
//And
even though I know how very far apart we are
It
helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star//
"What have I done? Why did I let my anger control me? After that statement I stormed out of his room only to stand in front of his door broken. Then I thought I heave something, when I checked he told me to get lost," Duo's eyes filled and overflowed with salty tears.
//And
when the night starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It
helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky//
'Why did I yell at him? It wasn't his fault. Why did I tell him to get lost? Was I that angry over the experience? No I was mad at myself and I took it out on him. Please forgive me. I don't really want you gone. I want you here near me,' Heero's thoughts became more confusing.
//Somewhere
out there
If
love cane see us through (If love cane see us through)
Then
we'll be together
Somewhere
out there
Out
where dreams come true//
"Please let him forgive me," Duo finally ended with a sob.
~ ~ ~ ~
'Please Duo forgive me,' Heero finally concluded his rambling thoughts.
