Although students may never give it a thought, the end of a semester is stressful for their instructors, too. With December's arrival, free time was becoming virtually nonexistent for both Frank and Andrea. Between grading class projects, putting the finishing touches on final exams, scheduling review sessions, and extending their office hours to accommodate their increasingly anxious students - all while maintaining their regular teaching schedules - they found themselves spending very little time together.
Not surprisingly, this state of affairs was a source of considerable frustration for both of them. One morning, as they were bolting down breakfast in preparation for another long day on campus, Andrea put her foot down.
"Frank, this is ridiculous. We're living together, but lately I'm spending more time with the Xerox machine repairman than I am with you…and let me tell you, he isn't nearly as sexy."
Frank laughed ruefully. "Things have gotten more than a bit out of hand, haven't they? I never remember being so busy at semester end. Or maybe I was, but it didn't matter to me as much." He looked at her and sighed. "I've been missing you dreadfully."
"All right, so what do you propose we do about it?"
He was silent for a moment. "Well, the weekend is coming up. My proposal is that we vow to entirely forget about the College of Denton all day on Saturday. We take the phone off the hook, we hide our briefcases in the back of the closet, we refuse to answer the door, and we just concentrate on each other. The world won't come to an end if we ignore academia for one day."
She smiled seductively. Getting up, she came over to his chair, sat on his lap, and gave him a kiss that held the promise of a most enjoyable Saturday. "The weekend can't get here quickly enough."
The speed may have left something to be desired, but eventually the weekend did arrive. Saturday dawned bright and sunny, but Frank and Andrea couldn't have cared less about the beauty of the weather. The day turned into a long, torrid sexual marathon, both desperate to make up for all the nights the demands of their jobs left them too exhausted to do anything but fall into a coma-like slumber.
It wasn't until early evening that they took a break, stumbling out to the kitchen in search of something to eat. Despite all the energy they'd expended throughout the course of the day, neither was particularly hungry. They decided to just fix a big bowl of popcorn, pour a couple of glasses of wine, and settle in front of the television for some mindless relaxation before returning to the bedroom.
Looking through the TV Guide, Frank started to laugh. "I think I've found the perfect thing, if we're looking for something entirely without any redeeming cultural or intellectual value. Sylvester Stallone is starring in a remake of "It's a Wonderful Life". It's ideal - an entirely unnecessary project, starring the most eminently inappropriate person imaginable. This should fall into the "it's so bad, it's good" category."
Well, he was half right. After about twenty minutes, the physical demands of the day, the wine, the comfort of the sofa, and the complete inanity of the project combined to lull both of them into a stupor. Frank roused himself enough to ask, "Hasn't anything happened yet? I swear this movie makes a line at the Department of Motor Vehicles look like an Olympic sprint."
Andrea murmured, "Yeah. Morphia slow."
Suddenly Frank was wide awake. He looked at her in complete shock. "What did you say? Where did you hear that expression?"
Now Andrea was wide awake as well. She paled, and stared at him mutely for a long moment. Finally, she spoke.
"I wasn't going to tell you until after the end of the semester, but obviously I have to tell you now." She took a deep breath, and continued. "I know who you really are, Frank, and I know where you're from. I know, because…I'm from there, too."
Anger, elation, and confusion fought for control in Frank's mind. For the moment, anger won out.
"Why in the name of all that is holy didn't you tell me? Why are you here at all? Is this your idea of a game? Or were you sent to finish what Riff Raff and Magenta started?"
Andrea was horrified. She tentatively reached out to touch him, but drew back when she saw the fury blazing in his eyes. "No, I swear, this isn't a game. And you surely can't believe I'd ever do anything to hurt you. I was sent to Earth by your mother, for a dual purpose."
"My mother sent you? For a 'dual purpose'? What the hell does that mean?"
"Look, let me start at the beginning."
Frank was reminded of an earlier conversation, with another woman who figured prominently in his life. "Yes, that's always a good place to start."
She nodded. "Okay. When Riff Raff and Magenta returned to Transexual – without you – they told your mother and the Court some ridiculous story that your experiment with Rocky had failed, and you were so distraught that you jumped off O'Brien Bridge into the Denton River. They were unable to find your body, so that was why they had to come back without you."
Frank snorted. "That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard in my life. Of course, I'm sure they had a more plausible story planned, before they discovered my body was missing."
She grimaced at the comment. "So my assumption was correct…they attacked you and left you for dead."
His expression was grim. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I'll admit I wasn't exactly a treat to work for, but I still maintain I did nothing to them to deserve a death sentence."
As his anger at her seemed to be fading, she again reached out, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Frank, I'm so sorry. If it's any consolation, your mother had them arrested, since they'd obviously been responsible for your disappearance. "
H smiled slightly. "I must admit that's a comforting notion."
She gently squeezed his shoulder in response, then continued her story. "Anyway, your mother was so devastated at the news of your death that she didn't examine their story too closely at first. However, as soon as the story was made public, the agents who'd been in the house that night came forward to refute their claim – that quite the opposite of being a failure, your work with Rocky was a rousing success. Even before getting that confirmation, she was beginning to doubt what Riff Raff and Magenta had told her. She may not be a scientist, but she knew that even if the experiment had failed, you would have been disappointed, but you'd have just gone back to work to try to find the problem. She remembered something you'd told her years ago, that with science the journey to solve a mystery is as important as actually discovering the solution. Plus, she realized that suicide was entirely uncharacteristic of you."
"Indeed."
"So she decided to hire me. I'm a private investigator, you see. She wanted to send me to Earth, so I could find out what happened to you, and if you were still alive."
"Okay, that's one purpose. What's the second?"
She looked embarrassed. "Well, before I left, I spent quite a bit of time with your mother. She was giving me information about you, to help me in my search. As we spent more time together, we actually became quite close. She ended up deciding I'd be the perfect lover for you."
Frank stared at her in astonishment. "Not that I can fault my mother's taste, mind you, but she wanted us to fall in love? That was the second purpose?"
Andrea was amused. "Yes. That was why I didn't tell you my true identity to begin with. Your mother and I decided that it might influence you too much, if you knew I was actually a Transylvanian. If you were to fall in love with me, she wanted to be sure it was me you loved, and not just the fact that I was a link to home for you. The idea was for us to use this semester to build a relationship." She smiled fondly at him. "Which we've done."
Frank couldn't help but smile back at her. "Unbelievable. But what would have happened if we'd met, and there had been absolutely no chemistry between us?"
"I would have just told you the whole truth that night. However, that obviously wasn't the case." She shifted her position on the couch so that she was directly facing him. "I've been here at the College of Denton since the summer, and was actually able to verify that you were alive quite quickly, since you'd continued teaching here after Riff Raff and Magenta left. I used the summer semester to become as familiar as possible with Earth, so that I'd be prepared when I met you at the start of this semester. I daresay it worked out beautifully."
In spite of himself, Frank was fascinated. "How did you manage to get the professorship? You didn't have time to go through the whole educational process, like I did. And even at that, I needed some help from a Transylvanian agent to get started."
"Fortunately for me, when the agents left Earth to return to Transexual, they didn't leave empty-handed. Those that worked in strategic locations – the ones with access to the creation of things like school transcripts and birth certificates – were given instructions to create documents with very specific information to bring back with them. I had a choice of any number of people to become, with the paperwork already prepared for me. I chose "Andrea Spencer" partially because my real name is Andromeda, partially because the age was right, and partially because I've always enjoyed literature of all kinds. One of the returning agents had been an English literature professor during his own time on Earth, and he gave me some intensive tutoring on what I'd need to know. I'm essentially using his curriculum, although I've since done a lot of reading and research on my own to expand my horizons, so to speak."
Frank shook his head admiringly. "You've done a phenomenal job, you know. The range of topics you can discuss intelligently is astounding, especially considering you arrived so recently. For all the time we've spent together, I never once suspected you weren't exactly who you claimed to be."
She laughed. "Thank you. You scared me to death the night we met, you know. I felt fairly secure when we were discussing Shakespeare, although it was clear I'd have to be at the top of my game to stay ahead of you. But when you started bringing up all those other subjects, I was sure I'd betray my ignorance. I guess I knew just barely enough to sound more knowledgeable than I really was."
Her smile became more pensive. "Your intelligence wasn't the only thing that scared me that night, though. I knew enough about you to suspect I'd be attracted to you, but I was totally unprepared for how incredibly intense that attraction turned out to be. If you hadn't been attracted to me, too, I'd have been devastated. I've always been a bit of a loner… my emotional state has never before been so completely dependent on how someone else feels about me. I'm not used to being so…vulnerable. The longer we're together, the more I need you, and the more vulnerable I feel. How can a relationship make a person feel so strong and so weak at the same time?"
Frank was moved by the emotion behind her question. He reached out, brushed a stray lock of hair from her eyes, and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I can't precisely answer that question, but I do know one thing…it takes a lot more strength to make yourself vulnerable for the love of someone than it does to keep a wall up to protect yourself. Until I met you, I had it all wrong. I thought I was strong because I never let anyone get close enough to be able to hurt me. Now I realize I was just being a coward. You have the power to completely destroy me, but loving you enough to enable me to say that has made me feel stronger than I ever have."
Andrea looked deeply into his eyes, tears streaming from her own. She wanted to say something, but for once words completely failed her. Frank gently wiped the tears from her face, as she rubbed her cheek against his caressing hand like a purring kitten. Without saying a word, she climbed onto his lap, straddling him. As she slipped her hands beneath his robe to stroke his bare skin, she leaned down to kiss him. He responded by pushing her own robe off her shoulders, running his hands over her naked body in a slow, sensual massage as she moaned with pleasure. Sylvester Stallone, emoting his heart out, lay forgotten in the background as their bodies intertwined in a joyous and tender celebration of shared love, vulnerability and trust.
Frank's mother had been right all along.
