The Interviews

Me: Okay, now that we know who each of these gorgeous men are, it's time for the interviews!

Me: Bachelor number one. If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?

Rick: I would buy more guns and bleach my teeth.

Me: Okay. Bachelor two, what would you do with a million dollars?

Jonathan: Buy more drinks.

Me: Anything else?

Jonathan: No. Just more drinks.

Me: Alrighty then! Bachelor three, a million dollars?

Ardeth: I would buy a gigantic safe and lock the Creature in there for all eternity. And buy more camels.

Me: And bachelor number four. What would you do with a million dollars?

Imhotep: What are dollars?

Me: Money.

Imhotep: Oh. I would buy the world and turn it all into Egypt.

Me: Well, we can dream, can't we?

Imhotep: What is that supposed to mean?!

Me: Okay, on to the next question. Bachelors, what would you do on a night alone with your girlfriend?

Rick: Polish my guns.

Jonathan: Drink.

Ardeth: Kill the Creature.

Imhotep: What was the question again?

Me: Okay, now it's time to meet today's eligible bachelorettes: Lady X, Lady Y, Lady Z, and Lady A!

Four girls walk up onto the stage. One of them is you!

Me: Okay, based on your interview answers, Ladies X, Y, Z, and A have been paired up with one of our bachelors, and you will be going for a romantic dinner, then spending the night in a five star hotel!

Me: We'll be back after this commercial break to see who's with who!