Frank and Andrea waited backstage with Queen Electra, who was looking beautiful in her deep purple robes trimmed in gold.  They could hear the excited hum of the audience, gradually growing in volume as the scheduled time for Frank's appearance drew closer.

Andrea peeked around the curtain to get a look at the crowd.  The enormous stadium was filled to capacity, and cameras were positioned at every possible angle.  She walked back to Frank, whose expression seemed to reflect more boredom than excitement.

"Come on, you cannot possibly be that calm!"

He raised an eyebrow.  "Can't I?"

She groaned in exasperation, making him laugh.  Before she could compose a suitably tart response, a frazzled middle-aged man rushed up to Frank, looking nervous enough for the both of them.

"Your Highness," then bowing to Electra, "Your Majesty, my name is DeMille, and I am the director of this broadcast.  I know you have been briefed by my stage manager, but I wanted to make sure you didn't have any additional questions before we get started."

Electra answered, "No, it's all quite simple.  Once I hear the musical fanfare, I am to go out to center stage, from where I will introduce Frank.  He will join me, I will leave, and he will give his speech.  At one point he will introduce Andromeda, who will then join him for the rest of his time on stage.  I assume we have as much broadcast time as we need?"

"Certainly, Your Majesty.  Nothing would bring in more viewers throughout Transylvania than this most memorable and remarkable event."

She nodded approvingly.  "Thank you, DeMille.  Your efforts are most appreciated."

He smiled and bowed.  "Thank you, Your Majesty.  I now must return to the control room.  The time is almost upon us."

After he left, Electra shot a severe look at Frank.  "I have not noticed you in possession of any notes.  Are you prepared?"

Frank closed his eyes for a moment before looking back at his mother.  "Surely you don't believe I have any particular desire to look like an idiot in front of an audience of millions.  I know what I intend to say.  I've never used notes when giving a speech."

Andrea, who had heard him speak on many occasions, was amazed.  "You're kidding.  How can you do that?"

Before he could answer, the strains of the royal fanfare began to echo throughout the stadium.  "Ah, my cue," said Electra.  She walked over to Frank and hugged him.  "Good luck."

He smiled.  "Thank you.  Same to you."

She laughed.  "As long as I don't fall off my shoes, or trip over my hem, all will be well."

Damn it, thought Andrea.  Why did she have to say that?  I was nervous enough already!

The Queen made it to center stage without incident, accompanied by the rapturous applause of her people.  When the din finally began to die down, she held up her hands for silence.  The stadium became hushed, in breathless anticipation of what she was to say.

"As you are aware, Transylvania has always been in the forefront of both space exploration and scientific inquiry.  In the service of these disciplines, several delegations made up of the most brilliant minds in our galaxy were sent to a distant galaxy called the Milky Way.  These delegates returned with fascinating information about a planet in that galaxy called Earth.  However, one delegate…one very important delegate…failed to return.

"I need not remind everyone of the grief that swept throughout Transylvania when we received word of the apparent death of our Crown Prince – and my son - Frank N. Furter.  That his death was purportedly by suicide made it seem all the more senseless.  However, when a key element in the story told by his erstwhile assistants was proven false, I made it my business to find out what had actually happened.  I dispatched an exceptional young private investigator to his last known residence on Earth, and she quickly confirmed what I had suspected" – here the Queen paused for effect – "the Prince was not dead at all.  Having been left behind on Earth, he had succeeded in establishing a new life for himself.  Notwithstanding that admirable accomplishment, it was time for him to return to his home, and to his people."

Electra paused again, smiling as she listened to the audience's excited murmurs grow in volume.  "This he has done.  It is my distinct honor, as a monarch and as a mother, to introduce my son and your Prince – Frank N. Furter."

The audience exploded in applause.  Backstage, Andrea hugged Frank.  "As they say on Earth…break a leg!"

Frank couldn't help but laugh.  "Poor choice of words.  I'm not used to these shoes anymore…under the circumstances, I'm not sure if that's an expression of good luck or a prophecy."

With that, he took a deep breath, collected himself, and walked out on stage.  At the first sight of him, the audience, already rabidly enthusiastic, erupted in a frenzy of applause and cheers. 

For all of Frank's dispassionate comments about the reaction he'd anticipated from the crowds, he was surprised and unexpectedly moved by the fervor of their response.  He felt tears fill his eyes, and furiously blinked them back.  He couldn't afford to lose his composure right before having to speak…nor could he allow his carefully applied makeup to get ruined!

At last, he joined Electra at center stage.  He and his mother embraced, evoking even more cheers from the audience.  After squeezing his hand in one final "good luck" gesture, she left the stage, leaving him alone in the blaze of lights. 

As he stood, smiling and basking in the adulation of his people, he finally understood how fortunate he truly was.  The freedom he'd experienced on Earth had soured him on the many restrictions he faced on Transsexual – the inability to go anywhere unaccompanied, the relentless press attention to his every move, the lack of fulfilling employment.  However, he hadn't remembered the rewards of his position.  Yes, there was the wealth and status – but more importantly, there were also opportunities like this one, when he realized just how much he meant to the people of Transylvania.  All too often, he'd viewed personal appearances as a chore.  Now it became clear to him that his very presence could turn an otherwise mundane occasion into an event the participants would remember the rest of their lives.  How many people could say that?

Finally, as his mother had done, he raised his hands in a plea for silence.  The crowd gradually quieted down, until he was able to speak.

"Thank you ever so much for that incredible welcome.  Mark my words, it felt as good as sex."  He smiled wickedly.  "Well, almost."

The audience laughed.  Frank was well aware his reputation as a sex god was an integral part of his public persona, and he was perfectly willing to trade on that.  Give the people what they want, as it were.

Still smiling, he continued.  "In all seriousness, you've made me realize anew just how fortunate I am to be back home.  There is truly no place in the universe like the planets of Transylvania.  The sparkling ebony beaches of Transsexual, the indescribable beauty of the crystal cliffs of Terra, the gentle seductiveness of the floral-scented hot springs of Tosca…all exert a magical pull on my heart.  However, more important than the physical beauty of the planets is the warmth and love I've always experienced from their people.  I am indeed among the most fortunate of men."

A burst of applause made Frank pause.  He was reminded of the State of the Union speeches he'd watched the President of the United States deliver on American television, when his partisan supporters would interrupt him with applause every few minutes, no matter how mundane the statement.  It occurred to him that his relatively brief speech might take considerably longer to deliver than he'd anticipated.  Once the applause died down, he picked up where he'd left off.

"I am fortunate enough to have had experiences that most people can only dream of.  Without a doubt, one of those experiences was the opportunity to live for a time on the planet Earth.  As a scientist, I am always interested in discovering the previously unknown, so there was no way I could bear to miss out on the opportunity to travel to a distant galaxy.  The time I spent on Earth for the mission was highly fruitful, both in terms of gaining information about the planet itself, and in working on my own scientific endeavors.  I was very much looking forward to my return to Transylvania, in order to share everything I'd learned.  However, it was not to be."  Frank's expression, smiling to this point, suddenly darkened.  

"As I know you are aware, I did not remain on Earth by choice after the mission was completed.  The rumors you have heard are, indeed, true…I was attacked and left for dead by two trusted members of my household, both of whom are now under arrest and in custody."

An excited hum from the crowd had accompanied Frank's speech up to this point.  However, this confirmation of the sensational and widespread rumor, coming directly from him, shocked the audience members into silence.

"As a matter of fact, my next official act will be to pass sentence on them for their act of treachery.  I am not, at this time, prepared to discuss the decision I have made in this regard.  However, I would like to ask you to be prepared to support my actions.  I am the only person, aside from the perpetrators themselves, who knows the whole story of what went on that night…not to mention what led up to it, and what happened to me in its aftermath.  The sentence I will render takes all of those circumstances into account.  I will feel more free to explain further after the sentence is officially passed and carried out."

Frank took a deep breath, and with great effort pushed the grim thoughts of Riff Raff and Magenta from his mind.  Again, he smiled at the audience.  "Imagine, if you will, my initial horror at the realization that I would, in all likelihood, be living out my life on Earth.  It was one thing to live and work among the Earthlings as a research project, but quite another to be forced to permanently abandon my lifelong identity and essentially become an entirely different person.  However, much to my amazement, I managed to create a happy existence for myself.

"I had been working as a science professor at a small college.  I kept the job after the attack, and came to realize how much I enjoyed teaching.  Through my job, I made some good friends.  Most importantly…I fell in love."

Although the strong lights prevented Frank from clearly seeing his audience, he was able to hear its collective gasp at this particular revelation.  The Transylvanian press had always devoted considerable time and attention to his liaisons, wondering when or if he would ever meet that special someone who could succeed in winning his heart…an endeavor at which countless hopefuls, both male and female, had tried and failed.

"Her name was Andrea Spencer, and she was a literature professor at the college.  We met at a party the night before the start of the Fall semester, and spent virtually every night together from that point on.  She was extremely beautiful, highly intelligent, wonderfully warm and witty…and, as I found out very recently…she was a Transylvanian."

There was another gasp from the audience, even louder than the one before.

Frank laughed.  "I assure you, you aren't half as surprised as I was.   You heard my mother mention the 'exceptional young private investigator' she'd sent to Earth to find out what had happened to me.  It turned out the woman I'd known as Andrea Spencer was that private investigator.  Her real name is Andromeda Saran, and she is a native of Transsexual.  My mother was extremely impressed with Andromeda, not just as an investigator, but also as a person.  She was so impressed, in fact, that she was willing to delay my return to Transylvania to give Andromeda and me the opportunity to fall in love and solidify our relationship away from the glare of publicity we would inevitably face here. In short, it is due to the efforts of two incredible women, my mother and Andromeda, that I stand before you today.  Of course you know my mother well; I believe it is now time for you to meet Andromeda."  He turned toward the back of the stage.  "Andromeda, would you care to join me?"

Although Andrea had known she would be going onstage, her stomach still dropped in a jolt of sheer panic when she heard Frank beckon her.  How did he and Electra manage to face such huge crowds so calmly?  She imagined it must have something to do with how they were raised…both had been facing crowds since infancy.  What she couldn't imagine was how she would ever be able to get used to it.  Oh well, there was no time to contemplate that now…or, for that matter, contemplate the inescapable fact that her life was about to be irrevocably changed.  She had to be by Frank's side – which was, of course, the only place she truly wanted to be, no matter where he was.

On shaking legs, she walked out on stage.  The lights were so bright she could barely see Frank standing at center stage, waiting for her.  Through her terror, she became dimly aware of the roar of applause from the crowd.  Suddenly, she realized the applause was for her.  For her.  The realization brought her a sense of peace.  These people loved Frank, and they wanted to love her, too.  She would just have to give them the opportunity.

When she reached center stage, Frank took her in his arms, to cheers and whistles from the crowd.  Bending his head, he whispered in her ear, "Are you okay?"  Smiling, she looked in his eyes and nodded.

At this, he released her and stepped aside, although he kept his hand on the small of her back as a gesture of reassurance - for which she was grateful.  She didn't have the confidence to signal to the crowd for silence, so she waited for the noise to die down.  Finally, sensing she was growing uncomfortable, Frank raised one hand to the audience.  At his gesture, relative silence fell over the stadium.

Andrea felt Frank gently massaging her back, a sensation that managed to be simultaneously soothing and exciting.  She looked over and smiled at him, before turning back to the audience. 

"Thank you so much for the warm welcome.  I was terrified at the very idea of walking out here in front of so many people, but you've made me feel, well, almost comfortable."

Laughter greeted this comment.  Emboldened by the positive reaction, she continued.

"Both Her Majesty, Queen Electra, and Frank himself have been kind enough to thank me for my role in bringing Frank back to Transylvania.  As much as I appreciate their gratitude, I know I am much more in their debt than they are in mine.  I'm grateful to Queen Electra for the opportunity to get to know – and fall in love with – her son.  And I'm grateful to Frank for…well, for more things than I could ever list for you now, but essentially for making me feel more loved and cherished than anyone ever has, or ever could.  I look forward to proving myself worthy of his love – not only to him, but also to the people of Transylvania, who care so much about him."  She paused for a moment.  "Thank you for listening."

With relief, she stepped aside slightly, listening to the audience applaud her short commentary.  Frank, smiling, stepped forward again, keeping an arm protectively around her waist.

"I have every confidence you will treat Andromeda with the affection and respect she deserves.  I wish to assure you that if there are any significant developments in our relationship, we fully intend to share them with you.  There will be no need to harass palace employees, or my friends, or Andromeda's family and friends, to find out if we have secretly gotten engaged, or even married.  Should there be an engagement, the public will be informed immediately after we tell those closest to us.  And certainly any marriage ceremony would be shared with the people of Transylvania.  If you believe what I am now telling you…and there is no reason you should not…you will eliminate a major source of potential stress in our relationship."

After giving Andrea's waist a final squeeze, he dropped his arm and moved further forward on stage.  "I would like to conclude my remarks by telling you something I am quite sure you already know…you should be very proud to be citizens of Transylvania.  Our scientists have accomplished what no others in the entire universe have, at least to my knowledge.  We have located, and studied firsthand, intelligent life on planets in several galaxies outside of our own.  Of all those planets, Earth is by far the most advanced.  However, in comparison with the planets of Transylvania, Earth is primitive in many respects.  Its inhabitants are struggling to find cures for diseases we conquered long ago.  They have not yet sent manned space flights to planets outside their own galaxy, or, indeed, even to all the planets within their galaxy.  They have not learned to regulate their weather to avoid such natural disasters as droughts, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes.  Many of its inhabitants live in incredible poverty due to a lack of natural resources and great inequity in the distribution of whatever resources are present.  It is due to the many great minds Transylvania has produced over its long history that we no longer face those challenges.  Personally, I am enormously proud to be a product of such a civilization, and I hope you share my pride.  I look forward with great anticipation to the significant discoveries to come, and wish to convey my gratitude that I will be here to share those triumphs with the Transylvanian people.

"Thank you for your time, thank you for your support, and thank you for your love.  All are gifts I shall never forget."

As Frank listened to the thunderous ovation greeting the end of his speech, one phrase kept repeating itself in his head.  I've come home.