Gender Bending – A Jonny Quest: The Real Adventures Fanfiction
by Akane-Rei
Jonny Quest stared at himself at the mirror in his room. He looked at his baby blue eyes and was comforted to know that they haven't changed. He examined the features of his face and was again comforted to know that nothing has changed. When his eyes traveled to his hair, however, he let out a sigh of disgust.
Those things were still there. He had cut them every single morning since the . . .er . . . revelation, and yet, they persist on growing back every time he . . .changed.
"Hey meat-ball head," called a singsong voice as the door to his room swung open to reveal an overly cheerful Jessie.
He ground his teeth.
"I told you," he stated plaintively, "I hate it when you call me that."
She grins.
"Aw c'mon, Jonny," she teased, "don't you think it fits?"
A giggle escaped her lips.
"You really should figure out how that transformation thing works," she said with a smirk. "Have you asked Bandit yet how come your hair doesn't go back to the way it used to be when you change back from your . . .er . . . alter ego?"
Jonny grumbled under his breath and watched in the mirror as Jessie approached him from behind. He watched apprehensively as she looked critically at the sides of his head where two buns of blond hair are located. She held out a pair of scissors and said in an amused tone, "Well? Ready for your daily cut?"
"Que se-e-e-raaaa, sera," sang a hoarse voice.
Hadji Singh stared at his adopted father in despair. He looked at Race beside him.
"Can we not do anything?" he questioned desperately.
Shaking his head, Race also stared at the formerly stoic doctor.
"I don't know what else we can do," he replied. "I think we'll just have to wait this out."
Silence existed between the two of them as they watched Dr. Quest dance dazedly around the room.
"Que see-e-e-raaaa, sera," Dr. Quest's voice cracked. "Whatever will beeeee, will be. My son has loooong pigtails." He looks up at Race. "And veery pink nails," he continued. "Que se-e-e-raaaaa, sera."
Bandit padded softly and peeked in the study. He's been feeling these strange energy coming from that room just now and he'd wanted to investigate. At first, he had thought that perhaps the strange energy was emanating from the very disturbed Dr. Quest. A closer look, however, revealed no signs of the energy coming from the doctor. Perturbed, he turned to look at the other occupants of the room and his eyes rested on young Hadji Singh.
'Hmmmm,' he thought. 'Could he be from the Negaverse?'
This bore further investigation.
HOURS LATER.
Hadji stared at the computer screen and tried to ignore the sound of wailing next door.
Who would have thought that Dr. Quest would have such strong lungs?
He winced as he heard his adopted father's voice crack one more time. The doors in this house really don't do much to block the sound of a screeching, singing man.
He stared back at his computer screen and covered his ears to muffle the sounds. If he hears one more thing about Jonny's pigtails or nails, he might just do something . . . violent.
He sighed and noticed a movement from the corner of his eye. Looking at his right, he saw Bandit staring at him with a curious look in his eyes.
"Hello, Bandit," he greeted warily. He still was not quite sure what to make of their miraculously talking dog, but he is coping.
Bandit walked slowly towards him.
"Hadji," he said quietly, "I would like to discuss a matter of great importance with you."
Hadji leaned back against his chair.
"If this is about Dr. Quest," he began, "I'm afraid I have run out of ideas as to how to remedy the situation. He took Jonny's . . . other identity quite . . .badly."
Bandit shook his head.
"That's not quite what I had in mind-,"
"If this is about Jonny's--," he grins, interrupting Bandit, "make-up compact, I am still working on it." He pointed at his laptop. "My analysis has so far revealed nothing in regards to the workings of that device."
Again Bandit shakes his head.
"I'm afraid I have more immediate concerns than that," he growled. "Actually, I came here to - Hadji! Listen to me!"
"Hmmm," he said, taking his attention away from the computer. "I'm sorry. I got a little distracted."
Bandit sighed with exasperation, mumbling under his breath.
"Hadji," he said seriously, looking at him straight in the eye, "you are Sailor Mercury."
Insert dramatic pause
Taking a deep breath, Hadji composed himself.
"That was quite a funny joke, Bandit," he said calmly, "forgive me if I do not laugh at the moment."
He turned back to work in his computer when he felt a tug in his pant leg. He looked down and saw Bandit gnawing at his clothes.
"Please stop that," he said politely
Bandit growled.
"I'm quite serious, Hadji," he insisted. "It has been taking us quite a while to find the sailor scouts, but now that we realize that their reincarnations can also be males," he shrugs, "well.things have been a little bit easier."
"I do not believe you," Hadji bit out. "Now if you would please leave me alone to work on this project, I would truly appreciate it."
Bandit shook his head, then did a flip. An object appeared out of nowhere and Hadji's reflexes enabled him to catch it.
"And what, may I ask, is this?" he said stoically, looking at the object.
"It's a pen," said Bandit. "You use it to transform into Sailor Mercury."
Hadji looked at Bandit sceptically.
"Just like Jonny's make-up compact was a communicator?" he asked, almost derisively.
A large sweat drop formed on Bandit's head.
"No, no," he protested. "This really is a pen."
Bandit approached him carefully.
"See that sign on top," he asked. "It's the sign of Mercury. You transform into Sailor Mercury by saying, 'Mercury Planet Power, Make Up!'"
"And I suppose I fight on behalf of the planet Mercury as well?" Hadji concluded in disgust.
Bandit nodded.
"Again, I do not believe you," reiterated Hadji. "You must have been mistaken."
Bandit sighed.
"Just keep the pen, alright?" he asked.
Hadji stared at the pen suspiciously.
"It's not an eyeliner or a mascara in disguise," Bandit stated. "It really is a pen. Just keep it for safekeeping for now."
Hadji was about to refuse when Bandit continued, "Who knows? It might help you understand Jonny's make-up compact."
Slumping his shoulders in defeat, Hadji took the pen and turned back to his computer screen.
THE NEXT DAY
Hadji frowned at the computer monitor in front of him and rubbed his eyes. He was feeling tired and a trifle lethargic today and he wanted to go home. However, he wanted to finish this school project first. Glancing around him, he was surprised to find the prone forms of the students in the computer lab.
"What the--," he said.
Just then, he looked up in time to see his instructor change into a hideous looking monster and push his head against the computer screen.
Hadji struggle vainly against the monster's grip, not knowing that as he did so, the sign of Mercury glowed brightly in his forehead.
Just when he thought that his face was about to be permanently plastered on the screen, he heard the door to the lab burst open.
"Stop, Negatrash!" shouted a high effeminate voice.
Hadji turned and saw Jon . . .erm . . . Sailor Moon posing by the doorway.
Distracted, the monster stopped and turned its attention to the source of the voice.
"Ahhh," it said, "The Sailor Brat is finally here."
"Sailor Brat?" protested Sailor Moon. "You're turning to moon dust!" With the accompaniment of a few hand signals, she declared, "On behalf of the moon, I shall punish you!"
Gasping for breath and relieved at his release, Hadji watched the proceedings and winced as he saw the monster dodge Sailor Moon's attacks.
"Hadji!" called a voice.
He looked down and saw Bandit trying to get his attention.
"Transform, Hadji!" shouted Bandit. "Sailor Moon needs your help!"
Hadji looked disbelievingly at the talking dog.
"You must be joking!" he exclaimed. "How many times do I have to tell you that I'm NOT Sailor Mercury!"
"But what if you are!" accused Bandit. "Can you take that chance? Sailor Moon needs your help! You owe it to her . . . to Jonny to help him . . . her out!"
Hadji closed his eyes, trying to calm his breath.
It cannot be. It cannot be. It just could not be!
"Hadji!" screamed Bandit before biting him in the leg. "Transform now!'
Jonny needs your help.
What if . . .what if. . .what if?
With a pained expression in his face, he gripped the pen that was burning a whole in his pocket and held it up.
"Mercury Power, Make Up!"
And with a dazzling array of light, he watched as his clothes disintegrated to make way for a shorter and skimpier outfit.
After the transformation, he stared at his gloved hands then at Bandit.
"I did it," he murmured to Bandit. "Well?"
Bandit visibly gulped.
"Umm.Hadji?" he said carefully. "Perhaps you should transform again."
"Huh?" he said, looking at the flustered dog.
He then heard a stifled laugh and looked up.
Both the monster and Sailor Moon were holding their sides trying to contain their laughter.
Hadji looked at his dress code and then back at the laughing pair.
"What?" he demanded. "Have you not seen a sailor fuku before?"
Sailor Moon tried valiantly to answer but dissolved in a fit of giggles.
Just then, the door to the computer lab opened again to make way for three more people.
"What's going on he--," Jessie's voice dissolved as her eyes widened at the sight before her. Her eyes moved about the room until they rested on Hadji. "What the--,"
"Oh my God!" came a voice behind her. "H-H-Hadji!" Dr. Quest blubbered upon seeing him.
"Hadji!" called Bandit. "Transform again! Something went wrong, you have to transform again!"
"What do you mean?" said Hadji, looking furiously at the laughing crowd around him.
"Hadji," said Race seriously, "Couldn't you have told us about this predilection some other way?"
"What the hell is going on here!" wailed Dr. Quest.
"Hadji!" shouted Bandit again. "Transform again, dammit!"
"Why?" shouted Hadji back at him.
"Because!" Bandit exclaimed, "Because you're still a guy!"
"What!"
"You're a guy wearing a sailor fuku, is what he means!" giggled Jessie hysterically.
Confused, Hadji took a good look at himself. His hands went to his chest when he noticed something . . . missing.
"Bandit," he said in a menacing voice.
Bandit backed away slowly.
"Hey!" he protested. "I've got nothing to do with this! I told you, transform again and maybe you'll get it right!"
"Not only do I turn into a female," Hadji began advancing towards the dog, "but I have to turn into a flat-chested female as well!" Outrage was evident in his voice.
A sweat drop forms in evereyone's head.
"No, no, no, no!" Bandit said, shaking his head. "That's what we're trying to tell you! You're not a female yet! Something went wrong with the transformation. Do it again!"
"I suggest you do as he says, Hadj," contributed Sailor Moon, aka Jonny. "The blue sailor fuku isn't really your style."
Again, Hadji looked closely at himself. He gulped as he saw the tight sailor scout outfit curving around his body. His face flushed as he felt . . . a draft.
"Transform again," insisted Bandit. "Maybe this is a fluke."
Gritting his teeth at his humiliation, he grabbed hold of the pen and spit out, "Mercury Planet Power, Make-Up!"
Everyone watched the extravagant light show and gaped at the blue- haired sailor scout that emerged.
Bandit expelled a visible sigh of relief.
Sailor Mercury strode purposely towards the monster and declared, "I am Sailor Mercury! I fight for love and justice! On behalf of the planet, Mercury, I shall punish you!"
Everyone watched as the monster tried to regain its composure, yet utterly failing, making it an easy target for Sailor Mercury.
"Mercury Bubbles! Blast!" shouted Sailor Mercury.
A dense fog engulfed the laughing monster.
"Now, Sailor Moon!" Sailor Mercury exclaimed.
Sailor Moon nodded and said, "Moon Tiara, Magic!"
The monster was moon dusted while still expressing its hilarity.
Silence reigned as all the conscious occupants of the room stared at each other. The only sound that could be heard was that of Dr. Quest's loud sniffling.
"My son," he muttered. "My sons."
Sailor Mercury's shoulder drooped.
"Bandit," she said, "how do I change back?"
Bandit sighed with resignation.
"For the last time," he said, "I don't know. A revelation is supposed to happen when you transform. You should know how to change back."
A muscle twitched underneath Sailor Mercury's eye and a vein in her forehead became quite prominent.
"There is no revelation, Bandit," she said carefully.
"Well," said Bandit, "you can always ask Jonny."
Hadji Singh stared at himself at the mirror in his room. He looked at his dark brown eyes and was comforted to know that they haven't changed. He examined the features of his face and was again comforted to know that nothing has changed. When his eyes traveled to his hair, however, he let out a sigh of disgust.
A knock in the doorway revealed a cheerful Jessie holding a plastic bottle of a Clairol hair color product.
Hadji looked back in the mirror and stared at his blue hair.
Jessie approached him from behind and stared critically at the blue mass.
"I hate to tell you this, Hadji," she began, "but your roots are showing."
Hadji growled.
And in the hallway, a song can be heard.
"Que se-e-e-raaaa, sera . . ."
Revised December 31, 2001
