What An Inner Child Might Say

Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot belongs to me. Everything else belongs to J.K Rowling.





You can stop hiding from me now.

It's not use. I know you. I know what you've been doing every night. When everyone is in peaceful slumber, you sit at your table and do your work. You sit there, frantically trying to finish your assignments and cram all that information into your head. I believe you call that studying?

Don't think I don't know you. I see you like no one has ever seen you before. When you think you're hiding from the world; you cannot hide from me. You wear your glasses to hide traces of your exhaustion - your 'imperfectness'.

I see everything.

The truth is my dear: you are imperfect. You know it and I know it. You are not as perfect as everyone thinks you are. The responsibilities they pile on you cause you to get so tired. You get so tired that sometimes you forget to do your homework. Sometimes you even forget to study for a test.

You are not perfect. You forget to do things all the time -- just like all the mortals on this earth. The only difference is that you would sacrifice everything to get the work done before it is due.

I remember there was one time you totally forgot about your charms assignment. You were already asleep by then. By some miracle, you woke up with a gasp and started to work on it straightaway. That happened a few days after the Black incident didn't it? All the prefects had to patrol every night. You were so tired after the patrol duty that you fell asleep the moment you head touched the pillow.

But you remembered you had unfinished work. You woke up and did it. I recall you didn't sleep that night. You would rather sacrifice all - your sleep, your sanity, even your soul to finish that insignificant piece of work. You would do anything to maintain that image people had bestowed on you.

You are perfect.

Contrary to popular belief, you are like everyone else. You don't always do your homework days in advance. Sometimes you only study for a test the day before. You procrastinate.

You are human after all. The thing is you always manage to scrape through by the skin of your teeth (and manage to get top scores every time). You work very hard - that I must admit. Your grades reflect both your natural intelligence and the effort you put in. Sometimes I think you put in too much effort.

I am just afraid that one day you would study yourself to death. I wish you weren't so afraid of wrecking that 'perfect' image. The world won't end if you forget to do an assignment or fail a test. Life goes on.

I think the teachers would understand. You are under a lot of stress - external and internal.

Take a break. You haven't really changed much since your younger days. You still have that quiet intensity about you and you are fanatical about your work. One thing that disturbs me most is that I hardly hear you laugh. You do smile, joke around with friends but you hardly give an unrestrained laugh. It's like you're controlling every single reaction.

That's not healthy. Let yourself go once in a while. Let me out. Don't keep me locked in here. Don't force me to see you deteriorate bit by bit.

Let me out. Let me play. Let me be irresponsible for once. Let me skip lessons! Most of all, let me smile at the sun and tell the stars how happy I am to be alive.

You are imperfect. Let me out and you will be whole once again.

Then and only then will you be perfect.


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