Digital Low-Down

By:KirBy

A/N: Humor fic! After reading countless fics with countless plots, couples, and characters, Ive learnt theirs a pattern to all digimon stories.Well, isnt there? Mattering on the type, couple and setting, but most general their alot alike.True? And most the time, where are the digimon!? Their usually ignored, their lucky if their ever even mentioned.But that's not the point,if i dont stop, i could go on forever anyways, I wrote this fic, for humor purposes, to show all of my experiences with fics.Yeah, bashing for character, some couples, O.O.C.(out of characterness) too.

But for anyone out for the love of the show, this goes out to you.

Now did any of that make sense? Didnt think so.





~

Digital Low-Down

Chapter 0ne: Enter the Insanity.

-

Narrator: In a deep dark cavern, somewhere far far away...

Camera opens up..

Theirs a dark room with one light in the middle of it, their seems to be a platform with velvet red carpet lining the floor.

A fimiliar figure steps up and clears their throat.

"Konnichiwa Minnasan, this is Taichi Yamagami."

Theirs coughing heard in the audience, some dude runs up and whispers something in Tai's ear and runs back.

"Oh, Im sorry, again, My name is Taichi Kamiya."

Someone in the audience raises their hands, Tai points to them and they stand up.

"I thought your name was Tai Yamagami?!"

Tai looks a bit nervous "Er, yeah, Im Tai Yamagami...anyways."

JUST THEN....Yamato Ishida runs up on stage, out of breath.

A bunch of fangirls start squeeling their heads off and racing towards the stage.

"IT'S YAMA!"

"Matt?"

The blonde just blinks and looks at Tai "I thought my name was Yamato Ishida"

Tai shook his head. "I call you Matt, the fangirls call you Yama Ishida."

"But that's confusing!"

"Yeah I know."

Matt shook his head and stood up straight. "Tai I have something to tell you."

"What?"

"I love Sora."

Sora runs up stage and kugs Matt.

All the fangirls go silent and start scowling at the sight of Sora.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tai screams.

"Oh Matt! I love you!" Sora says cuddling up to him.

Matt looks over at a whimpering Tai. "But I love Tai more."

"What?!" Tai sniffles.

"Yes! Now lets have Mad Monkey butt-sex while my perverted band watches!"

Tai leaps on Matt and starts groping/kissing/touching him and Sora breaks up in tears.

Akemi,Toshiki,Itsu and Gendo jump on the stage, lights start centering on them and the song 'Butterfly' comes on.

People start singing with the lyrics, swaying back and forth with lighters lit.

'Laaaaaa laaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaa'

JUST THEN, another familiar face breaks into the spotlight, the duuuuuuuuun dun duuuun KAIZER!

"YOU CANNOT HAVE HIM TAI YAMAGAMI!!!!"

Tai looks up "I thought i was Taichi Kamiya?"

The kaizer pauses "Er, uh, yeah, whatever, ANYWAYS, I AM THE DIGIMON EMPEROR AND I MUST HAVE YAMA ISHIDA TO HAVE MAD MONKEY BUTT SEX!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Tai gets up, ready to fight the Kaizer.

Tai pulls out a light saber and an image of Young Jedi Gennai appears. "May the digital be with you."

"Thank you Obi won Gennai!"

Tai bows.

Neeeeeeext The Kaizer pulls out his trusty whip and synical VOICE, DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN (A/N:wait, can you pull out a voice? er.)

"YOU WILL GIVE INTO MY SEXY SYNICAL VOICE AND POWERFUL WHIP SO THUS I CAN HAVE YAMA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" another person appears.

Its Daisuke Motomiya!

"NO! KEN! DONT, HE'S MY IDOL!!!!!!!!"

"ARGH, ITS DAVIS MOTOMIYA!"

A fangirl stands up "No that's Dai Motomiya."

"Er whatever" everyone says in a unise.

"I thought you turned back!!!" Daisuke whimpers.

"I turned back!"

"Yeah then we turned you back."

"Then i got drunk and turned back."

"No, remember, we turned you back."

"But remember at Izzy's party.......?!"

"Uh...i dont remember much since thats when my-secret-now-not-so-secret alchoholism came out."

"I thought you had A.D.D."

"That was last week."

"Oh yeah."

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP AND JUST FIGHT ME!" Tai screams.

"Oh yes, We must win over Yama!"

The camera centers towards TK and Yama, WHO ARE MAKING OUT.

"INCEST!!!!" everyone screams.

"No Matt! Stoooooooop!" TK whimpers.

"Mmm No..mmm" Yamato grumbles.

"TK IS RAPING YAMA!!!!!!!!!" the fangirls scream in unise.

"What the hell?" Tk mumbles.

"I thought his name was Takeru." The kaizer/ken says.

"I thought it was T.P." said Davis.

"Well its Yaoi so its Ok." Tai says.

"But i thought he liked Kari!" the Kaizer says fantically.

"I LIKE KARI YAMAGAMI!" scream Davis.

"YOU LOVE ME BITCH!" The kaizer screams raising his whip.

"Yes master!"

"Yes, TK must date Hikari since Taichi and Yamato are going out, IT IS CANNON AND YOU MUST OBIDE!" the fangirls scream.

Just then Hikari is pushed out and Takeru and her are pushed together.

"ANGELS FOREVER!" the fangirls chant.

Yamato and Tai are embraced in a hug.

"Its just like last season they were just kids!" Yamato sniffled.

"I know I know." Tai says.

"NOOO!" Takeru screams. "Im gay! Stop! I dont like Hikari!"

"You must love Davis then!" the fangirls chant.

"NO!"

"Ken!"

"No!"

"Tai!!"

"Er, No!!"

"YOUR BROTHER!"

"YES! But not that way!!!!!!!"

"Who then!?" the girls say confused.

"IORI!"

"HIS NAME IS CODY!"

"Er whatever."

"BUT THAT'S SICK, HE'S JUST A KID!"

Takeru starts to cry "NO!! Nobody cared when I was a kid and Yamato raped me!"

They gasp "You raped your brother when you were eight?!"

Takeru looks up "What the hell?!"

"WE WANT LEMON WE WANT SEX, HENTAI HENTAI YES YES YES!!" the fangirls start to chant.

"Uhm.."

"What are we doing again?" Tai asks.

"Each other?" Matt implies.

"TK has to be gothic now!" The fangirls yell.

"What?!" Tk says as some people grab him and pull him behind the curtin.

~

MEANWHILE....for no appearant reason..

~

"Finally, I got into it, Prodigiouse!" Izzy says tapping away at his laptop.

"What?" Mimi asks walking over.

"Its a program for.." Izzy tries to explain.

"OH MY GOD ITS HENTAI!" Mimi screams.

"What?!" Joe asks running over.

"OH LORD!" his nose starts to bleed.

"What are you guys talking about?!" Izzy looks up confused.

"IZZY YOU SICK BASTARD!"

"MY NAME IS KOUSHIROU DAMNIT!"

"Not this week." a bloody nosed Joe says.

"Er, whatever. Anyways this isnt hentai its.."

"HENTAI!"

"Arent you suppose to be in America!?" Izzy yells at Mimi.

"Oh yeah!" she sweatdrops.

"IZZY YOU MUST COME, MY COMPUTER'S CRASHED AND IM NOT SMART ENOUGH TO FIX IT!" Yolei screams entering the room.

She stops yelling and looks at Mimi "Why hello."

"Hi" Mimi smiles and they start kissing/groping each other.

"OH LORD!" Joe says and his nose starts to bleed again.

"Uhm.."Izzy says.

He goes over to Yolei's house and looks at her computer.

"Yolei, your computer got a virus from one of these hentai pictures i think that if i.."

"That's not hentai, Kari took those for me."

"Uh...its Hentai...see?"

Izzy clicks on it an a picture pops up..

Iori walks in.

"YOLEI, I TOLD YOU NOT TO SHOW ANYONE THOSE PICTURES OF ME!!"

"Arent you suppose to be the quiet one?"

Iori looks down. "Oh yeah."

"I have to get Tai's digivice to fix it, I hear he's in Myotismon's castle again." Izzy says.

"I thought we killed him." Joe comments.

"Well now its SUPERSexyVeryBlondeEvilHellCustomMyotismon's castle."

"Try saying that 6 times fast." Joe smiles.

"He evovled?!" Mimi questions

"DIGI-VOVLED." Yolei says and waves to the kiddies.

"Yes we the digi egg of evilness." Izzy comments.

"Theirs one of those?" Yolei puts in.

"Yes, Ken had it, how did you think he got Wormmon?"

"Wormmon isnt evil." Mimi cries.

"I thought it was with Ryo." Iori says.

"WHO!?" everyone says in unise.

"Ryo, that guy who is like the best digidestin ever and noone knows who he is."

"Cody you must stop reading comic books they'll ruin your mind, now we have to go to SUPERSexyVeryBlondeEvilHellCustomMyotismon's castle for Tai's digivice so we can fix Yolei's hentai filled computer."

So Izzy gathers everyone (Mimi,Joe,Cody,Yolei) and they set off for the digital world.

Duuuuuuuuuuun DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!!

Narrator:When will people learn digidestin have digimon? Will Takari be acceptable? Is Myotismon really back? Do potatoes really have eyes...stay tuned for the next epsoide of our exciting adventure!

Their's coughing heard and the Narrator speaks up again.

Narrator: Ooh yes........To be CONTINUED! Wait, did'nt i say that? Damn those writers.. i need a coffee break *sighs*

~

A/N: HAHAHA er, what didja think!? This is what you get for not getting much sleep...Oh Yeah, Akemi,Itsu,Gendo and Toshiki are all (c) of Empress of Eclipse, their not mine, nor will they ever be cuz she's a much much better writer than me and.......*cough* so on.

Uhm...Reviews?!? *smiles sweetly*