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No One's Fault

Part 9

By Usa and Emiri

Disclaimer in Part 1

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Aka softly knocked on Usagi's door, wondering what sort of state her granddaughter truly was in.

"Come in..." a faint voice said.

"My dearest Usagi...how are you feeling?"

Usagi turned from the window. "Soba-san!" she exclaimed, running into her arms. She began crying again.

"It's alright," Aka soothed, stroking her hair.

"Why? Why did I just have to go on that date?" Usagi cried. "It's all my fault... all my fault!"

"What are you taking about, magomusume?"

Usagi looked up at her soba. "Papa was going to the restaurant to pick me up because I was late! He didn't want me to go and I went anyway. I... I killed him!"

"It wasn't your fault...were you on a date with your Mamoru?"

"Un..."

"Well, it's only natural that you wanted to go on a date. You're a young girl, you need to have some fun. What makes you think that your date caused your father's accident?"

"Because I wasn't paying any attention to the time! I knew he'd pick me up if I was late... and look what happened." Usagi sat on her bed. "And now Shingo hates me..."

"Did Shingo try to blame you for this?" Aka asked, sitting beside Usagi.

"He tried, he succeeded, soba-san. He's right, I destroyed the family."

"Iie." Aka shook her head. "It's a tragic thing that your father died, nobody is saying otherwise. It's heartbreaking, and you're going to carry that pain with you for the rest of your life. Demo, don't carry the burden of guilt; you don't owe anyone that."

Usagi shook her head. "I don't know if I can let the guilt go." She leaned on Aka. "Mama is going crazy. She really thinks Papa is still alive." Usagi suddenly stood up, shouting, "I'm telling you, it should have been me! Why couldn't it have been me?? I want my Papa... I want him so much it hurts!"

Aka hugged Usagi tightly. "I know, darling, I know. And that pain is never going to completely go away. But you can't let it destroy you. Your mother and Shingo will come to face it in time; they're both in forms of denial right now."

Usagi and Aka remained that way for a long time.

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Shingo furiously pounded on the controller of his Playstaion 2. He was playing the Sailor Moon game and decided to kill her every time since she looked exactly like his older sister. "Why not," he grunted. "she killed Papa!"

"It looks like you're not having very much luck with your game," Aka said, coming into the den.

"I'm having wonderful luck, soba-san." Shingo grinned evilly.

*SAILOR MOON DIES* the game said mockingly.

"What do you mean? You're not progressing anywhere in your game."

Shingo looked up at Aka. "Yeah, I keep killing Sailor Moon."

"But isn't the point of the game to win your battles?"

"Yeah..."

"So, how does killing the one who must win help you?"

Shingo glared at the televison screen. "Because she looks like Usagi."

Aka looked at the screen. "Yes, I suppose she does. Why do you hate your sister, Shingo?"

Shingo stood up, throwing the controller on the floor. "She killed Papa..."

Aka placed her hand on his shoulder, and looked him straight in the eye. "Do you really believe that?"

"Iie..." he replied sullenly, looking at the floor. "I guess I just wanted to place the blame... She could have listened and not gone out with Mamoru- san."

"What's done is done, and cannot be undone. Your Papa wouldn't want you feeling like this, you know that. You have to let go of your anger."

Shingo nodded slowly. "Gomen ne..."

"I'm not the one you have to apologise to, my magomusuko."

"You're right as usual, soba-san!" Shingo said, hugging her. "I guess I should go see my oneechan."

Aka nodded. "I think things will be easier for your mother if you two are at peace."