**************
No One's Fault
Part 10
By Usa and Emiri
Disclaimer in Part 1
**************
Shingo went upstairs, passing his par-no, now his mother's bedroom. He was going to have to get used to having no father. Timidly, he knocked on Usagi's door.
Usagi opened the door. Her face was stained with tears and her eyes were red and puffy. Her hair was a mess, the odangos falling out. "I know it was my fault, why do you have to torture me, Shingo?"
He stared for a second, taken aback at her appearance. "I wasn't coming to torture you..."
"Then what do you want?" Usagi didn't let him say anything. "Do you know how much it hurts, Shingo? I feel bad enough as it is. I know I killed him... I didn't mean to, but I did. I loved Papa so much, I still do. I didn't mean for any of this to happen... I want him back. If I can't have him back maybe it would be better for all concerned if I was gone too."
"Iie! I didn't mean that at all! For your information, I was coming to *apologize*, but if you're going to be so mean to me..."
Usagi looked to the floor. "See, I can't do anything right." She turned from Shingo as she began crying again.
"Usagi...Shingo no baka," he muttered. "I didn't mean it like that!"
"Shingo... gomen ne..."
Shingo bit his lip, trying to hold his own tears back. "Oneechan!" he cried, giving her a big hug. Usagi hugged him back. The two sank to the floor, taking comfort in each other.
After their tears had stopped, Shingo asked "What are we going to do about Mama?"
"I don't know," Usagi replied with a sigh. "She can't seem to grasp the fact that Papa is... gone."
"Do you think she'll ever be the same? I don't want to lose her too."
"I hope so, niichan, I hope so."
****************
Tenchi knocked on Ikuko's door. She didn't reply so he opened it. He found his daughter staring out the window. "Ikuko..."
"Otou-san? What are you doing here?"
"Darling, you know why I'm here."
"Iie. You never told us you were coming to visit; I would've made up the guest room for you."
Tenchi placed a hand on her shoulder. "Ikuko, you're denying the fact that he's gone. You can't keep doing that, it's not healthy for you or for your children."
"Demo...demo...he can't be gone!"
"I'm afraid he is, Ikuko," Tenchi replied. "I am truly sorry, my angel, but he is."
"IIE!" she screeched.
Tenchi hugged her close. A few minutes later, he forced her to look into his eyes. "Ikuko, you know your father wouldn't lie to you, ne?"
She nodded slowly. "I suppose not..."
"Ikuko, I know you can't be strong all the time, but I need you to do something for me. For Kenji."
"Nani yo?"
"Be there for your children. They need you know more than ever." Tenchi smiled. "Just like you need me and I'll always be there for you."
"That's...what he said to me...and now he's gone. How can I live without him, Papa?"
"One day at a time, my musume, one day at a time."
"He was my life, my other half....how can I live without him?"
Tenchi smiled at her. "You're not living without him." He pointed to her heart. "He's in you."
"Demo...how can I go on without him? He's not here to hold anymore, I can't curl up beside him at night knowing that he'll protect me forever, and now I'll have to get a job since he was the only one who worked. Nobody's going to hire me, I barely finished high school!"
"It's all right, Ikuko. My friend has a secretarial position open at his law firm. It's here in Tokyo." Tenchi hugged her again. "You'll be all right, Ikuko."
"Do you think he'd let me work for him?"
"I know so."
"What about Usagi and Shingo?"
"They'll be fine. They have family and friends who love and care for them. My sweet, musume, I know it's painful and the pain will never fully leave you, but you have to move on."
Ikuko began to sob again. "You...you can't gurantee that everything will be alright. I could lose them! And, how can I just move on? Do you expect me to just forget Kenji?"
Tenchi sighed. She was always adamant in her feelings. "You don't "just forget him", Ikuko. You have memories. Wonderful memories. Pictures, videos, places... Usagi and Shingo. That is how you move on."
"Am I really that strong? I've never had to do things on my own before..."
"Hai, my musume, you are very strong."
k
Ikuko sighed. "I don't know if I can...I fell so lost and empty without him, Papa!"
"Sweetheart, why don't you take a nap. Things might be more clear if you do," Tenchi said.
"I suppose. How long are you and Mama going to stay?"
"As long as you need us, dear."
"Okei." Ikuko nodded. "Maybe sleep would do me good..."
Tenchi tucked his little girl in, said a silent prayer for her, and closed the door.
**
Ikuko looked around, seeing the old familiarity of her high school, the place she had first met Kenji. "What am I doing here?" she wondered.
"Ikuko..." a voice whispered.
"Nani? Who's there?"
"Ikuko..."
"Who's there?!" she cried. "Show yourself!"
A man stepped out from behind a tree. He was holding a red rose in his hand. "Ikuko... aishteru."
"Kenji?" Ikuko's eyes welled with tears. "But...you're..."
"I know, I know." He sighed, walking over to her. "I am so sorry, my tenshi. I shouldn't have been so baka! Usagi deserved to go out with that boy. I just know she'll marry him one day and now... now I won't be able to give her away."
"Kenji..." Ikuko sobbed, with her face in his chest. "How am I going to make it without you? You were always the strong one, and you took care of us all...I feel so empty without you beside me!"
Kenji took her face into her hands. "Ikuko, you are just as strong as I am. If not, stronger. I want you know that you'll never be without me. I'm always at your side."
"Can you stay with me in my dreams?"
"Hai," Kenji said with a nod. "I will always be in your dreams as well."
"You know I'm not going to want to wake up now..."
"You have to... Besides, Usagi and Shingo need their mother. They're both anxious to talk to her."
Ikuko nodded sadly. "Tell me...did it hurt you badly?"
"And don't lie," she added after a pause.
"Iie. I felt nothing except the pain of leaving you all so suddenly."
"Was it frightening?"
Kenji sighed. "I don't believe I'm allowed to say one way or another, Ikuko... All I can tell you is that I'll be in a place where I can watch over the three of you. I love you all so much." Kenji began to fade away.
"Matte! Don't leave me yet!"
"Gomen, but I must." He hugged her tightly. "Remember, I'll be with forever."
"Just...one more kiss, onegai." Ikuko tried to stifle her sobs as she asked this. Kenji smiled and pulled Ikuko's face to his as they shared their last kiss.
Ikuko felt tears rolling down her cheek as Kenji faded into the air.
**
Usagi was lying next to Ikuko, watching her sleep. She wanted to make the hurt go away but she didn't know how. From then on, Usagi decided to be strong for her mother.
"Daisuki desu, Mama..."
Ikuko felt someone gently holding her hand. Her eyes fluttered open. "Ken- Usagi, what are you doing here?"
"G-gomen..." Usagi gasped out. "I didn't mean to wake you." She began to get up.
"Matte, my musume. I just didn't expect anyone to wake me up...it's alright, I know he's gone."
Usagi laid down again, feeling her mother's arms wrap around her. "Mama, we'll get through this as long as we have each other. Papa will watch over us."
"I know..." Ikuko nodded, debating whether or not to tell Usagi about her dream.
Usagi hugged her back. "Mama, I... I promised myself I'd be strong for you, demo... who's going to give me away when I get married?" Tears fell from her eyes as she waited for a reply.
"I...don't know. Maybe my Papa?"
"Do you think he would?" Usagi asked hopefully.
"I'm sure he would." Ikuko nodded.
"Mama, we'll get through this somehow..."
Just then there was a quiet knock at the door. "Shingo? Is that you?" Ikuko called.
"Hai, mama," he replied, entering the room.
"Come, sit with us." Ikuko patted the bed next to her.
Shingo jumped onto the bed next to Ikuko. "Mama, I should admit that I said some pretty horrible things to Usagi..." He looked at his hands the whole time.
"You're not the only one." Ikuko nodded sadly. "I love both of you so much, and I'm sorry that I was such a burden for you."
"Oh Mama!" the children exclaimed, hugging Ikuko.
"We forgive you, we love you so much," Shingo told her.
"We'll make it, the three of us," Ikuko said determinedly. "He's never going to be truly gone, we have to believe that."
Usagi nodded. "Papa will watch over us forever!"
Very faintly, the wind was carried through the bedroom window... "I'll always be in your hearts..."
No One's Fault
Part 10
By Usa and Emiri
Disclaimer in Part 1
**************
Shingo went upstairs, passing his par-no, now his mother's bedroom. He was going to have to get used to having no father. Timidly, he knocked on Usagi's door.
Usagi opened the door. Her face was stained with tears and her eyes were red and puffy. Her hair was a mess, the odangos falling out. "I know it was my fault, why do you have to torture me, Shingo?"
He stared for a second, taken aback at her appearance. "I wasn't coming to torture you..."
"Then what do you want?" Usagi didn't let him say anything. "Do you know how much it hurts, Shingo? I feel bad enough as it is. I know I killed him... I didn't mean to, but I did. I loved Papa so much, I still do. I didn't mean for any of this to happen... I want him back. If I can't have him back maybe it would be better for all concerned if I was gone too."
"Iie! I didn't mean that at all! For your information, I was coming to *apologize*, but if you're going to be so mean to me..."
Usagi looked to the floor. "See, I can't do anything right." She turned from Shingo as she began crying again.
"Usagi...Shingo no baka," he muttered. "I didn't mean it like that!"
"Shingo... gomen ne..."
Shingo bit his lip, trying to hold his own tears back. "Oneechan!" he cried, giving her a big hug. Usagi hugged him back. The two sank to the floor, taking comfort in each other.
After their tears had stopped, Shingo asked "What are we going to do about Mama?"
"I don't know," Usagi replied with a sigh. "She can't seem to grasp the fact that Papa is... gone."
"Do you think she'll ever be the same? I don't want to lose her too."
"I hope so, niichan, I hope so."
****************
Tenchi knocked on Ikuko's door. She didn't reply so he opened it. He found his daughter staring out the window. "Ikuko..."
"Otou-san? What are you doing here?"
"Darling, you know why I'm here."
"Iie. You never told us you were coming to visit; I would've made up the guest room for you."
Tenchi placed a hand on her shoulder. "Ikuko, you're denying the fact that he's gone. You can't keep doing that, it's not healthy for you or for your children."
"Demo...demo...he can't be gone!"
"I'm afraid he is, Ikuko," Tenchi replied. "I am truly sorry, my angel, but he is."
"IIE!" she screeched.
Tenchi hugged her close. A few minutes later, he forced her to look into his eyes. "Ikuko, you know your father wouldn't lie to you, ne?"
She nodded slowly. "I suppose not..."
"Ikuko, I know you can't be strong all the time, but I need you to do something for me. For Kenji."
"Nani yo?"
"Be there for your children. They need you know more than ever." Tenchi smiled. "Just like you need me and I'll always be there for you."
"That's...what he said to me...and now he's gone. How can I live without him, Papa?"
"One day at a time, my musume, one day at a time."
"He was my life, my other half....how can I live without him?"
Tenchi smiled at her. "You're not living without him." He pointed to her heart. "He's in you."
"Demo...how can I go on without him? He's not here to hold anymore, I can't curl up beside him at night knowing that he'll protect me forever, and now I'll have to get a job since he was the only one who worked. Nobody's going to hire me, I barely finished high school!"
"It's all right, Ikuko. My friend has a secretarial position open at his law firm. It's here in Tokyo." Tenchi hugged her again. "You'll be all right, Ikuko."
"Do you think he'd let me work for him?"
"I know so."
"What about Usagi and Shingo?"
"They'll be fine. They have family and friends who love and care for them. My sweet, musume, I know it's painful and the pain will never fully leave you, but you have to move on."
Ikuko began to sob again. "You...you can't gurantee that everything will be alright. I could lose them! And, how can I just move on? Do you expect me to just forget Kenji?"
Tenchi sighed. She was always adamant in her feelings. "You don't "just forget him", Ikuko. You have memories. Wonderful memories. Pictures, videos, places... Usagi and Shingo. That is how you move on."
"Am I really that strong? I've never had to do things on my own before..."
"Hai, my musume, you are very strong."
k
Ikuko sighed. "I don't know if I can...I fell so lost and empty without him, Papa!"
"Sweetheart, why don't you take a nap. Things might be more clear if you do," Tenchi said.
"I suppose. How long are you and Mama going to stay?"
"As long as you need us, dear."
"Okei." Ikuko nodded. "Maybe sleep would do me good..."
Tenchi tucked his little girl in, said a silent prayer for her, and closed the door.
**
Ikuko looked around, seeing the old familiarity of her high school, the place she had first met Kenji. "What am I doing here?" she wondered.
"Ikuko..." a voice whispered.
"Nani? Who's there?"
"Ikuko..."
"Who's there?!" she cried. "Show yourself!"
A man stepped out from behind a tree. He was holding a red rose in his hand. "Ikuko... aishteru."
"Kenji?" Ikuko's eyes welled with tears. "But...you're..."
"I know, I know." He sighed, walking over to her. "I am so sorry, my tenshi. I shouldn't have been so baka! Usagi deserved to go out with that boy. I just know she'll marry him one day and now... now I won't be able to give her away."
"Kenji..." Ikuko sobbed, with her face in his chest. "How am I going to make it without you? You were always the strong one, and you took care of us all...I feel so empty without you beside me!"
Kenji took her face into her hands. "Ikuko, you are just as strong as I am. If not, stronger. I want you know that you'll never be without me. I'm always at your side."
"Can you stay with me in my dreams?"
"Hai," Kenji said with a nod. "I will always be in your dreams as well."
"You know I'm not going to want to wake up now..."
"You have to... Besides, Usagi and Shingo need their mother. They're both anxious to talk to her."
Ikuko nodded sadly. "Tell me...did it hurt you badly?"
"And don't lie," she added after a pause.
"Iie. I felt nothing except the pain of leaving you all so suddenly."
"Was it frightening?"
Kenji sighed. "I don't believe I'm allowed to say one way or another, Ikuko... All I can tell you is that I'll be in a place where I can watch over the three of you. I love you all so much." Kenji began to fade away.
"Matte! Don't leave me yet!"
"Gomen, but I must." He hugged her tightly. "Remember, I'll be with forever."
"Just...one more kiss, onegai." Ikuko tried to stifle her sobs as she asked this. Kenji smiled and pulled Ikuko's face to his as they shared their last kiss.
Ikuko felt tears rolling down her cheek as Kenji faded into the air.
**
Usagi was lying next to Ikuko, watching her sleep. She wanted to make the hurt go away but she didn't know how. From then on, Usagi decided to be strong for her mother.
"Daisuki desu, Mama..."
Ikuko felt someone gently holding her hand. Her eyes fluttered open. "Ken- Usagi, what are you doing here?"
"G-gomen..." Usagi gasped out. "I didn't mean to wake you." She began to get up.
"Matte, my musume. I just didn't expect anyone to wake me up...it's alright, I know he's gone."
Usagi laid down again, feeling her mother's arms wrap around her. "Mama, we'll get through this as long as we have each other. Papa will watch over us."
"I know..." Ikuko nodded, debating whether or not to tell Usagi about her dream.
Usagi hugged her back. "Mama, I... I promised myself I'd be strong for you, demo... who's going to give me away when I get married?" Tears fell from her eyes as she waited for a reply.
"I...don't know. Maybe my Papa?"
"Do you think he would?" Usagi asked hopefully.
"I'm sure he would." Ikuko nodded.
"Mama, we'll get through this somehow..."
Just then there was a quiet knock at the door. "Shingo? Is that you?" Ikuko called.
"Hai, mama," he replied, entering the room.
"Come, sit with us." Ikuko patted the bed next to her.
Shingo jumped onto the bed next to Ikuko. "Mama, I should admit that I said some pretty horrible things to Usagi..." He looked at his hands the whole time.
"You're not the only one." Ikuko nodded sadly. "I love both of you so much, and I'm sorry that I was such a burden for you."
"Oh Mama!" the children exclaimed, hugging Ikuko.
"We forgive you, we love you so much," Shingo told her.
"We'll make it, the three of us," Ikuko said determinedly. "He's never going to be truly gone, we have to believe that."
Usagi nodded. "Papa will watch over us forever!"
Very faintly, the wind was carried through the bedroom window... "I'll always be in your hearts..."
