Coming Home (part 2)

"Hey," Chandler said, also speaking softly.

"Mon, are you okay?" Rachel asked from the doorway.

"Yeah. Look, I know its your apartment, but could you just give us a few minutes please?" Monica said. The others all nodded and went out into the hallway, closing the door.

"Ten bucks says they're listening in right now," chandler joked. Monica smiled weakly.

"Guys! Please," she called. There was some shuffling outside the door, which they took to mean the others had finally given them some privacy. Chandler scuffed his toe childishly. He had dreamt about this moment many times, but now he didnt' know what to say. The circumstances made it even harder.

"You came back," Monica said quietly. He nodded.

"Yep," he said stupidly.

"I suppose you heard about Richard, is that why you came back?" she asked. Again, he nodded.

"Ross seemed to think you wanted me to. But hey, if you don't, I'm sure I can get a plane out to Ottowa tomorrow, and we can forget we ever met again," he said.

"Don't do that," Monica said quickly. "I mean, unless you want to," she added uncertainly.

"I don't want to do that," Chandler said. Monica smiled at him. She thought he was as cute as ever, just a little older, and she was suddenly very aware that she was wearing sweat pants and a baggy T-shirt, with her hair in a messy ponytail and no make-up.

"Chandler, why did you come?" she asked, running her hand through her hair, unconciously trying to fix it.

"Ross said you needed me," he said.

"He didn't try and put you off coming?"

"He just said that I should only come if I wanted to. Not to feel like I had to," Chandler said, thinking about it. "Why wouldn't he want me here?"

Monica sighed. She had known she would have to be the one to explain why Ross hated the guy who had once been his best friend. "You know how protective Ross is of me. He was never wild about us being together in the first place. I guess, he was just mad at you for hurting me," she said.

"Mon, you went to your parents' house. That must mean you had doubts about our relationship, that you were considering chosing Richard. I didn't want to force you to make that choice, and yeah, I was scared you wouldn't pick me," Chandler said. Monica gasped. She realised he had never known that she had picked him, that picking Richard had never really been an option.

"Chandler, I woudl always pick you," she said.

"Well, I didn't know that," he said. "To me, if you needed to think about it, then that must mean something was wrong with us. And I didn't want you to tell me that you were breaking up with me to marry Richard."

"Chandler, I wanted you. When you came home, and Joey told you I was at my parents, it was so you'd be surprised," she explained.

"What? Mon, what are you talking about?"

"I was waiting inside the apartment. I was going to propose to you."

"Oh my God!"

"I'm sorry honey," she called him 'honey' without even thinking about it, despite the fact that she had been married to another man for four and a half years, and was now a widow. "I didn't think you'd run off like that. When Joey told me, I wondered if maybe you were as afraid of commitment as you used to be, or that you didn't really want to marry me at all."

"You knew I was going to propose?"

"Joey told me everything. But when you didn't turn up, what could I do? You hadn't even come inside for a change of clothes or your toothbrush. I knew you wouldn't be coming back. So I married Richard."

"You didn't have to marry anyone," Chandler pointed out.

"Chandler, I loved you so much. I didn't think I could ever love anyone else as much as I loved, love, you. Even Richard didn't compare. But he at least knew what I'd been through with you. He knew why I couldn't love him as much as he loved me. Because I couldnt' stop loving you."

"Monica. allt his is, a huge shock, but what are we gonna do? just pretend we didn't ahve this conversation, and I'll go back to Ottowa, you stay here and get over Richard. Or try and pretend like the last five years never happened, and try and get back to where we were before that big tree came along?" Monica chuckled slightly. "Sorry, I know you were married to him," Chandler said, although he hated the fact.

"Its okay. You know, all of those plans involve a lot of pretending. Why can't we just take it as it is. A big misunderstanding five years ago, which meant we were apart and I married someone else," Monica suddenly stopped. A horrible thought struck her. What if Chandler had married someone else too? "How about you?" she asked. Chandler frowned.

"What about me?"

"Did you marry someone else? Is there someone back in Ottowa?" she asked, not looking at him. Chandler almost laughed, but saw she was serious and stopped himself.

"No Mon, there's no one else. Not anymore." She looked at him, puzzled. He sighed and started to explain. "A couple of years after I moved there, I started seeing a woman I worked with. She was nice enough, but she wasn't you." monica smiled. "Anyway, after I;d been seeing her for a couple of years, she was sick of my lack of commitment, everyone else thought we should get married, so I proposed to her. I thought about giving her your ring, but I realised I couldn't do that, even thought I would probably never see you again. Anyway, we were engaged, but she broke it off after just a few months. Said I wasn't commited enough."

"I'm sorry," monica said. But she was glad he wasn't still with this woman.

"I would say its not your fault, but it is!" Chandler joked.

"How is it my fault?" she asked, pretending to be offended.

"Because you made me think I could commit to someone, but unfortunately, I can only commit to you," he said, pretending to be serious.

"Well, thats a relief. All that work, I can't have you go and marry someone else," she said. God, was she flirting with him?

"I wouldn't want to marry anyone else," chandler said. Monica blushed. Chandler immediately regretted it.

"Hey, you don't have to stay with Joey, if you dont' want to. His apartments even worse than when you lived there. Stay here, I can go home," Monica offered.

"If you can go home, how come you were planning on staying here?" Chandler asked.

"Too many memories at home," she said shortly.

"Of Richard?"

"Yeah."

"so how come you think you can go there now?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. Chandler smiled.

"you think maybe it has something to do with me being back?" he asked teasingly.

"maybe," Monica answered coyly.

"You think the others are still out there?"

"Oh yeah, definately. We shoudl probably tell them about the change of plans."

Monica opened the apartment door, and sure enough, they were all sitting on the steps. When they saw her, they jumped up, trying to look inconspicuous. Chandler and Monica explained that he would be staying with ROss and Rachel, while Monica would be going back to the apartment she had lived in with Richard.

"Are you sure thats a good idea?" Ross asked.

"Ross, I'm fine," she assured him for the tenth time.

"You said you couldn't stay there!" Rachel said.

"Well, things change. COme on, did you two really expect me to live with you forever?"

"No," Rachel admitted.

"Well, yeah," Ross said at the same time. Monica sighed.

"Ross, I know you're my big brother, and I know you care about me, but I can manage fine on my own."

"Fine. go off and be fine," ross said sulkily.

"Hey, you get me instead," chandler said with false good humor.

"Great," Ross said sarcastically. "The guy who wrecked my sister's life."

"Ross! Thats not fair!" Monica shouted.

Chandler was surprised, but pleased to hear her sticking up for him. He wasn't sure how he really expected her to react, but he was glad she hadn't been mad at him. Now that she had explained it, he realised how stupid he had been. She would never have chosen Richard if he hadn't been stupid enough to run off. Thanks to his stupidity, they had both spent the last five years being miserable. Well, he had, but had she, really? Surely she wouldn't have married Richard if she didnt' at least like him. And for their marriage to have lasted four and a half years, there must have been something between them, even if it in no way compared to what he and Monica had had five years ago.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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