Coming Home (Part 6)

Chandler came over for dinner with Monica and the girls exactly two weeks after he found out Monica had kids. Since then he hadn't seen much of Monica, because she hadn't wanted to leave Amy and Becky with a babysitter, since they got upset when they were left with someone they didn't know, and her parents were out of town for the week, visiting friends.

Ross and Rachel had said Chadler could stay for as long as he wanted, but he thought they didn't really want him around, and he planned on staying in new York anyway, to be with Monica, so he had got his own apartment and had arranged to be transferred to his company's new York officew. He had flown back to Ottawa one weekend and arranged for his stuff to be sent to New York as well.

When he got to monica's apartment, he knocked. He remembered clearly how he used to just walk in to her old apartment, how they all did. But he didn't think he could do that here. Monica said Becky had asked him to dress up nice, so he was wearing a suit and tie.

"Who is there please?" a little voice asked. Chandler fidgeted a little. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond.

"Uh, Chandler Bing," he said. There was some whispering behind the door, which made Chandler feel even more uncomfortable.

"Okay," the little girl said. The door opened. He was greeted by a solomn looking littlegirl wearing a pale blue ruffled party dress. Her long black hair was tied in pigtails. Monica was on the couch wearing a gorgeous red dress that showed off her figure. A younger girl sat on her lap in a pale green dress that matched her sister's. monica was brushing the child's hair into two plaits.

"Hi," Chandler said.

"Mommy, who's he?" Amy asked.

"This is Chandler. I used to date him, a long time ago, before you were born," Monica said. Chandler laughed at the awed expression on both kids' faces at the concept of a time before their existance.

"Yeah. I love your Mommy a lot," Chandler said grinning. Monica blushed and busied herself with Amy's hair.

"Will you love us too?" Becky asked seriously. "Coz we dont' have a Daddy anymore." Monica stopped what she was doing for a moment, a look of sadness passing across her face. Amy turned to look at her mother, and Monica quickly resumed doing Amy's plaits.

"Sure I will," Chandler promised. He lifted Becky up and hugged her. Monica smiled as she watched them.

"Forever?" Amy asked, wriggling free of Monica arms.

"Forever and ever and ever," Chandler confirmed. Amy ran over and he scooped her up as well.

"Wow, you're really good with them," Monica said later. They were all sitting on the couch together after eating dinner. It was nearly eight o clock and Becky and Amy were asleep, Becky leaning against Monica, Amy in Chandler's arms. "Amy's usually really shy around people she doesn't know very well. I'm surprised she let you hug her and amazed that she fell asleep on you. She never even liked falling asleep on Richard's lap."

"Wow, better than Daddy huh?" Chandler said, half joked, but really more pleased than he wanted Monica to know.

"Watch it!" Monica warned.

"Sorry. So, are these guys gonna stay here all night, or can we put them to bed?" Chandler asked. Why did he feel like all he ever did around here was change the subject?

"Yeah. Their rooms just over here Monica said, slowly easing Becky away from her. Chandler stood up with Amy in his arms. He followed Monica over to the children's bedroom and laid amy on the bed nearest the door, leaving Monica to change both kids into their pyjamas. Fifteen minutes later, Monica came back out. She smiled and joined Chandler on the couch.

"Becky woke up and wanted a bedtime story," she explained.

"I hope you told her a good one," Chandler said. He put his arm around her and pulled her a little closer to him.

"Of course, although I'm sure it wouldn't have been up to your standard," she said, relaxing against him.

"Oh it was probably miles better. I suck at bedtime stories." Monica laughed.

"Will Ross and Rachel get annoyed if you're not back by eight thirty?" she asked. Chandler chuckled.

"Probably. But I dont' care. I'm staying until you kick me out," Chandler said, hoping she never would, but knowing it was inevitable at some point.

"I wouldn't kick you out. Maybe push you a little bit," Monica joked. Chandler groaned.

"Cheesy," he said, as if he was a teacher of humor.

"Sorry," she said, pretending to be ashamed.

"I forgive you."

"I'm so glad."

Chandler smiled. he loved when they joked around, he always had, and the fact that they still did made him think that maybe they had a chance of having something resembling their old relatoinship. Maybe this time he could propose successfully, they could get married, and he could put his own kids to bed. Chandler became lost in his thoughts and even imagined Monica was sitting on his lap and kissing him. When he felt her tongue in his mouth, he realised this wasn't his imagination, this was real. He kissed her back and put his hands on her waist. It wasn't long before things started to heat up, and Chandler's hands were fumbling with the zip of Monica's dress. When the zip was undone, Chandler could slip the thin straps of the dress down her shoulders and pull it away, allowing him to kiss her breasts. He noticed she wasn't wearing a bra, presumably because it would show because the dress had a pretty low back.

Monica let him push her dress down, loving the feel of his lips on her soft skin. She realised how different Chandler's kisses were to Richard's, whose moustash had begun to annoy her almost straight after they got back together. She stood up and stepped out of the dress. Chandler's smile widened as he drank her in. She was gorgeous, even more so than he remembered. He took her hand and let her lead him into her bedroom.

Once the door was closed, she lay back on the bed and watched as Chandler undressed quickly. When he was naked, he stood and smiled at her. She smiled back. He crawled up the bed until he was lying on top of her, stopping only to take off her panties.

A little while later, Chandler was inside her, his thrusts getting faster and faster. Monica's legs were wrapped around his waist, his arms around his neck. He was kissing her anywhere he could, her cheeks, nose, neck, occassionally grazing her lips. She suddenly felt like something was different. She looked over, not really paying attention, and saw that the door to her bedroom was open, she had forgotten to lock it, and Becky was standing there, holding the door handle, looking confused and tearful.

"Shit," Monica said. Chandler ignored her. She didn't think he even heard, she knew he was close, but she had to push him off her. He complained as she did so, begging for just a little longer, but when he saw Becky, he quickly grabbed the duvet from the floor and pulled it over both him and Monica. She got out of bed though, reached for the robe that hung on the back of the door and quickly wrapped it around herself. Becky watched silently, not understanding at all. Chandler wondered randomly if she had ever seen Monica and Richard having sex. He wished the little girl could have waited just five minutes more before disturbing them, and immediately felt guilty for thinking such things. She had lost her father only a few weeks earlier, she needed her mother, Chandler wanted Monica, but although he sometimes thought he did, he didn't need her as much as her daughters did.

"Honey, what's the matter?" Monica asked, taking Becky's hand and trying to lead her out to the living room.

"Mommy, what are you and Chandler doing?" she asked curiously, not following her mother into the livingroom, and staring at Chandler, who felt very uncomfortable under the gaze of those big blue eyes that were so much like her mother's.

"Nothing sweetie. Why did you get out of bed?" Monica said, tugging the child's hand, but Becky stubbornly stayed where she was.

"If you were doing nothing, how come you were screaming?" Becky asked, genuinely wondering.

"It doesn't matter darling. Come out into the livingroom," she said. Becky finally consented to follow Monica out of the bedroom.

Chandler sighed and flopped back onto the pillows as soon as the door closed behind them. He had waited five years to touch Monica like that again, and when he finally got the chance, Becky had to ruin it all. He knew she had no idea what she had done, she was only four after all, but he was so annoyed.

It was half an hour before Monica returned to bed, looking very awkward and embarrased. Chandler spread his arms, as if to ask what happened.

"Becky wet the bed. She's been having nightmares for the last couple of months. They've gotten worse since Richard died," Monica said, not quite meeting chandler's eyes.

"Poor kid," Chandler said, wondering how they could pick up where they left off.

"Chandler, I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry that this happened. But maybe its best. I really don't know why I was having sex with my daughters in the next room anyway. And especially so soon after their Dad died. Maybe you shoudl go back to Ross and Rachel's," she suggested, still not really looking at him. Chandler jumped out of bed and went over to her. He put his arm around her shoudler and pulled her to him. She leaned heavily against his bare chest, as if she was extreemly tired.

"Is that the real reason you don't want to finish what we started?" he asked gently. "Or are you just starting to doubt whether or not you love me as much as you used to."

"Chandler, you dont' understand how hard this is for me. I love you, you know I do. But I loved Richard as well, even though I loved you more. And Richard was my husband, and he died not long ago. You know I love you, but its so hard for me. Especially with Becky and Amy," Monica said.

"Monica, we were just having sex. I'll understand if you tell me you want to leave it for tonight, but please don't just say you don't know. If you don't want to have sex with me, then you were stupid to do so earlier. If you've now realised you don't want to after all, fine. I'll just go back to Ottawa. Its up to you Mon," Chandler said. He was so angry with her for messing him around, and yet he hoped she wouldn't tell him to go away. Because even if they didnt' have sex, he wanted so badly to fall asleep with her in his arms and know that she would still be there when he woken up.

"Chandler, please don't make me decide right now," she begged, feeling overwhelmed. Was this really the same Chandler who had been too scared to admit he loved her when they first began dating? The smae Chandler who was now asking her to decide whether to have sex with him then and there or to never see him again.

"We don't have to have sex right now," Chandler said, seeing her struggle to understand.

"I'm sorry Chandler," she said again. He was suddenly terrified that she wanted him to go back to Ottawa. He had said that, but he didnt' really mean it. He never wanted to make the mistake of leaving her again.

"Okay," he said miserably. He started to pick up his clothes and dejectedly stepped into his boxers.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Getting dressed. I don't plan on going to Ottawa stark naked," he said, making a joke even he didn't think was funny. Monica didnt' either. She frowned slightly.

"Well, you can go to Ottawa if you really want to, I guess, I mean, I can't stop you. But I was kinda hoping you'd stay here and wait for a single Mom to regain her sense," she said. Chandler stopped getting dressed and dropped the shirt he was holding, ready to put on.

"What?"

"Chandler, I don't think we shoudl have sex tonight, but that doesn't mean I want you to leave. I know I'm a little screwed up at the moment, but please, I woudl really appreciate it if you would wait for me to, I dont' know, recover, I guess," she said. Chandler stared at her silently. She didn't want him to leave? She wanted him to stay? He would wait forever if he had to. So long as he had her, he didn't really care if they slept together or not. So long as he could see her and hold her and touch her and be near her anytime he wanted, he would be happy. "Chandler?" she said nervously, after he hadn't spoken or moved for several minutes. "ARe you okay?" he didn't answer, he just walked back to her, picked her up and spun her around, both of them grinning. He kissed her passionately, and was delighted when she kissed him back. He knew she meant it when she said she didn't want to have sex, so he didn't try to take off her robe or anything. He was just content to hold her in his arms.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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