Disclaimer: All characters are property of JRR Tolkein

Author's Note: Gomen minna!! I have mono so I haven't been getting anything written lately…I'm really sorry about that. Anyway, I'm still stuck on "the heart has it's reasons,"so here's this instead. A/L shounen-ai. There's your warning.





The rain is coming down in fierce torrents now. I shudder from the cold and wrap my cloak tighter around my lithe frame. It does no good, for it is as drenched as I am. I push a few wet strands of blond hair out of my eyes as I stare dully out into the night. A cold deeper than that in the air chills my heart and my soul. Whether tis from grief or foreboding I know not. Yet I fear no good will come of it. My heart yearns to be close to him, but I dare not grant it that right. I sigh. He has grown more distant in the months we have been on this seemingly endless quest. He smiles less and less, and each line grows more distinct on his face. He no longer laughs, no longer jokes. He has grown hard, and I know not why. But I would give everything to make him smile for just one moment.

I miss his laughter, I miss the sound of his voice. I hate looking up and seeing in his eyes that he is somewhere far away, somewhere I cannot follow, and an overwhelming sense of loneliness descends upon me. I need him so much it hurts, but I need him to be happy more. That is why I will not tell him how I feel. That is why I cannot tell him how I feel. I tell myself it is because he means more to me than I myself, and that I have nothing to offer. I tell myself I'm doing this for him, so he can be happy. In truth I'm doing it because I'm afraid to lose my best friend, afraid of rejection, afraid of being hurt. So little in this world comes without the price of pain.

But that's life.

I stare out into that endless rain, and something inside of me gives. Warm tears stream down my face, mingling with the cold rain. I pay it no heed. I am ashamed of my tears, though there is no one near to see them, nor would they notice if they were. Who would bother to stop and soothe the breaking heart of a lonely elf? No one. I half-heartedly wonder if this mood will break with the clouds, if I will be happier once the sun shows its face again. But I know it will not. A sorry elf I am indeed.

I watch the rain until my eyes see it no longer. They find strange figures among the falling water, pictures of days long gone. I see the woods where I grew up, the trees that sheltered me through so many years. I see myself darting among those trees, see myself with a tall, dark haired man. And that man is laughing. The face of that man grows older, harder, the laughter dies on his lips. I see the pain etched deep into his face and all I want is to take that pain away. But would he let me?

Perhaps not.

You are merely an elf, Legolas! I scold myself silently. You cannot heal the troubles of the world. But I'm not trying to. I can't heal the world, I know that. Am I so helpless, that I cannot heal the soul of one man, the man I love? I fear the answer, and yet I crave to know it. I would give him the moon and her stars if he asked it.

If only he would speak.