Note: None of these characters belong to me, except for the unknown
traitor. Yaoi! Legolas's POV! Deals with violence and rape! This is a song
fic to Celine Dion's 'It's All Coming Back to Me Now'.
Remembering Love,
Part 3
A.J. Matthews
I looked at Aragorn. I could see that he blamed himself for what had happened to me. At least he didn't know the full truth.
Those memories were coursing through me, even now. The countless nights and years others forced themselves on me, ignoring my cries for them to stop. And being ravaged by the traitor had hurt worst of all, for he was the first.
God, I had been so ashamed when Éomer had been brought to my room all those years ago.
Another man had been planning to rape me. I'd lost count of how many times it had happened to me.
Éomer had walked in just in time to see a single tear running down my face. Sometimes I wished I had died then. His eyes had taken in everything. My wrists, though bandaged, had been bound above my head, in case I tried to kill myself again.
Part of me hadn't cared any more, as Éomer dragged the man off of me and confronted the master with the truth of my identity. The only thing that had kept me from trying to kill myself for so long had been the memories of what love was truly like, with Aragorn. But time had taken even that comfort from me.
I had been given into the human's care, starved and driven beyond hope. My legs could not support me, so Éomer had carried me out of the slave-house, with his own cloak over my torn and tattered body. The only clothes I had left were my ragged leggings.
Éomer had taken me to his home, where I had grown strong again physically. I told him the entire story, at least what I thought had happened, and he had promised not to tell Aragorn that I was staying with him.
It had taken two years for me to regain my perfect aim with a bow and arrow, and I relearned other things I had forgotten as well. The scars had never faded away, a constant reminder of what I'd gone through, but my strength returned.
Éomer became a valued friend to me, and consoled me when I needed it the most. It was mostly because of him that I regained the will to live.
Five years later, I was ready to re-enter the world again. I was strong and whole again, for the most part.
Éomer was concerned when I left, for he had noticed that the light, which used to shine so brightly in my emerald eyes, had disappeared.
He had reluctantly bid me farewell. "Be well, Legolas," he had said. "And know that my door is open to you always, should you tire of traveling."
"Thank you for everything, Éomer," I had said gratefully. "If you should ever need me, ask for Rogue," I told him. "That shall be my name now."
Then he said something to me that I shall never forget.
"Legolas, do not always let the sadness overwhelm you. Live for revenge against those who hurt you. And let yourself feel love, at least once more. You've got to rejoin the living and leave the past behind."
I had nodded slowly and left. I visited every six months or so, to show him I was alive and well. Yet Éomer had seemed sad when I left again each time.
"Legolas?" Aragorn's voice asked me, coming from far away.
I shook my head and looked at him. He looked concerned.
"Sorry," I told him. "I was lost in thought. Where was I?"
"You told me not to blame myself, Legolas." His dark, beautiful stormy eyes gazed at me. "What occurred after Éomer rescued you?"
"He took me to his home, where it took months to heal from physical injuries. The slashes I gave myself turned into scars. I regained my fleetness and agility, as well as my skill with bow and arrows. I learned to be an even better swordsman than I used to be, for Éomer was a good teacher. He is a good friend," I said faintly. "My emotional wounds never faded, but Éomer made sure I was never alone, until he was certain I wouldn't try to kill myself again. Five years later, I left and began to roam the world."
"So you never knew that Gandalf had died, did you, until Éomer freed you?" Aragorn questioned.
I shook my head. "I was distraught to know that an old friend had died, fretting over my whereabouts. Perhaps I should have let the word out of where I was," I admitted. "But it took a very long time for me to get used to freedom again, and being around other people who didn't plan to hurt me."
Aragorn placed a hand on my shoulder. "How did they hurt you?" he whispered.
"In all ways, Aragorn," I finally told him. "For years and countless nights."
He looked stricken as I removed his hand from my shoulder, for it made me uncomfortable.
Aragorn frowned and gripped my shoulders hard. "Legolas, I am not one of those who hurt you so. Do not turn away from me, for it breaks my heart." His voice was soft, yet harsh at the same time.
"Tis a reflex, Aragorn," I murmured. "Tis not personal. I did the same to Éomer for over two years."
"I would that you would be happy again, Legolas. Your eyes are those of a corpse, my friend." He pulled my face closer to his.
Longing was filling me, in spite of myself. I opened my mouth slowly as his lips pressed against mine once more.
His arms slid around my waist, holding me close, as if to protect me from harm. I was responding to the fiery kiss with a need all of my own.
**********************************
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming
Back to me now)
**********************************
Sparks flew as the kiss deepened even more.
I moaned softly. I had forgotten how pleasurable a genuine kiss can be, when given by one you love.
"Legolas," Aragorn whispered, as he kissed me again. His hands went up my back and into my silky hair. It was as fine as it had always been.
Heat was souring through me by now. Faint memories came and went between us. Memories of a happier, better time. Less painful memories of myself and Aragorn curled together in a bed, where he rubbed my hair and told me how beautiful I was.
*************************************
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, baby, baby
**************************************
The kiss broke apart. I murmured a protest. Aragorn looked at me, surprised. Longing shone in my eyes.
"Are you all right, Legolas?" he whispered.
"I-I had forgotten what it felt like, Aragorn," I said, so softly that he leaned close to me to hear what I said.
"What what felt like?" he asked quietly.
"Kissing you." My eyes met his. "I had forgotten it could be so pleasurable, Aragorn." I watched his face carefully.
"Then allow me to remind you once more, Legolas." He covered my mouth again with his sweet, gentle lips. A flush settled over both of us as I moaned and responded, chasing his mouth with my own.
My eyes closed in pleasure. I had desired and missed this for so long. I put my arms around him as his tongue darted into my mouth. My own instinctively entered his. I felt Aragorn's eyes on me. I opened his eyes, suddenly aware that I was trembling slightly.
"Why do you tremble so, Legolas?" he said in my ear. "Am I going too fast?"
I shook my head. "This is- It's so much more than what I grew used to." For the first time in five years, a tear dripped down my face.
Anger filled his eyes as he wiped the tear away. "Let me help you, Legolas," he said gently. "For I love you even now and have always loved you."
"Help me?" I whispered against his lips. "How?"
"By banishing the nightmares away." Without saying another word, Aragorn cupped my face towards him with his hands and kissed me hard. Fire exploded through me, as I countered with another kiss to him, surprising myself once more. His hands reached my cloak, and began removing it carefully. He dropped it to the ground, and began working on my shirt, which temporarily broke the sweet, magical kiss.
I looked into his eyes and saw the same longing there that shone in my eyes. I pressed my lips against his eagerly, enjoying the flood of emotions inside of me. I hadn't felt like this for so long.
********************************
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
********************************
Aragorn had dropped my shirt, as well. I brought my hands to his shirt and began removing it. He must have seen the confusion in my eyes, for he assisted me, drawing his shirt over his head and letting it fall.
Dear god, this was an agony of bliss. His hands worked at my belt as our lips met. My fingers fumbled against his belt, until I finally heard it clink on the ground.
I was dazed as Aragorn gently lifted me in his arms and carried me over to my blankets. With surprising gentleness, he laid me flat on my back and positioned himself on top of me.
Fear crept into my eyes, as did desire. I whimpered softly, a wordless pleading. His hands worked magic on me, calming my fears away ever so carefully.
"Aragorn," I whispered.
"Yes, Legolas?" he murmured against my lips.
"I-I don't-" My voice faltered.
Aragorn's eyes filled with compassion, before he smiled gently as he traced my face with his hands. "This night is for you, Legolas," he told me. "Relax, my love."
I trembled a little, unsure. Aragorn soothed me with his mouth, which was tender yet rough on my lips. My hands reached up of their own accord and pulled him closer to me, as I moaned again in pleasure.
I had never thought anything could feel so good as he nibbled on my neck and worked his way down, caressing me. Aragorn whispered to me that I was so beautiful to him, being as vulnerable and unsure as I had been the first time we'd made love.
I melted inside as Aragorn's hands removed my dark leggings and went to work.
*************
Hours later
**************
I lay in Aragorn's arms, panting hard. Our faces were flushed as we lay entwined on the blankets.
He gently kissed me twice; once on the forehead, and once on the mouth.
"Sleep, Legolas," he whispered. "I will watch over you tonight."
I sighed in contentment and rested my head on his bare chest, as one of his hands found its way into my hair again.
Love was blossoming in my heart once more, which Aragorn had healed this night. I turned to tell him this, but he gently placed a finger on my lips.
"Rest, dear one."
I nodded and closed my eyes. I had never felt so loved and cherished in my life, I realized, as I drifted off to sleep.
To be continued
Remembering Love,
Part 3
A.J. Matthews
I looked at Aragorn. I could see that he blamed himself for what had happened to me. At least he didn't know the full truth.
Those memories were coursing through me, even now. The countless nights and years others forced themselves on me, ignoring my cries for them to stop. And being ravaged by the traitor had hurt worst of all, for he was the first.
God, I had been so ashamed when Éomer had been brought to my room all those years ago.
Another man had been planning to rape me. I'd lost count of how many times it had happened to me.
Éomer had walked in just in time to see a single tear running down my face. Sometimes I wished I had died then. His eyes had taken in everything. My wrists, though bandaged, had been bound above my head, in case I tried to kill myself again.
Part of me hadn't cared any more, as Éomer dragged the man off of me and confronted the master with the truth of my identity. The only thing that had kept me from trying to kill myself for so long had been the memories of what love was truly like, with Aragorn. But time had taken even that comfort from me.
I had been given into the human's care, starved and driven beyond hope. My legs could not support me, so Éomer had carried me out of the slave-house, with his own cloak over my torn and tattered body. The only clothes I had left were my ragged leggings.
Éomer had taken me to his home, where I had grown strong again physically. I told him the entire story, at least what I thought had happened, and he had promised not to tell Aragorn that I was staying with him.
It had taken two years for me to regain my perfect aim with a bow and arrow, and I relearned other things I had forgotten as well. The scars had never faded away, a constant reminder of what I'd gone through, but my strength returned.
Éomer became a valued friend to me, and consoled me when I needed it the most. It was mostly because of him that I regained the will to live.
Five years later, I was ready to re-enter the world again. I was strong and whole again, for the most part.
Éomer was concerned when I left, for he had noticed that the light, which used to shine so brightly in my emerald eyes, had disappeared.
He had reluctantly bid me farewell. "Be well, Legolas," he had said. "And know that my door is open to you always, should you tire of traveling."
"Thank you for everything, Éomer," I had said gratefully. "If you should ever need me, ask for Rogue," I told him. "That shall be my name now."
Then he said something to me that I shall never forget.
"Legolas, do not always let the sadness overwhelm you. Live for revenge against those who hurt you. And let yourself feel love, at least once more. You've got to rejoin the living and leave the past behind."
I had nodded slowly and left. I visited every six months or so, to show him I was alive and well. Yet Éomer had seemed sad when I left again each time.
"Legolas?" Aragorn's voice asked me, coming from far away.
I shook my head and looked at him. He looked concerned.
"Sorry," I told him. "I was lost in thought. Where was I?"
"You told me not to blame myself, Legolas." His dark, beautiful stormy eyes gazed at me. "What occurred after Éomer rescued you?"
"He took me to his home, where it took months to heal from physical injuries. The slashes I gave myself turned into scars. I regained my fleetness and agility, as well as my skill with bow and arrows. I learned to be an even better swordsman than I used to be, for Éomer was a good teacher. He is a good friend," I said faintly. "My emotional wounds never faded, but Éomer made sure I was never alone, until he was certain I wouldn't try to kill myself again. Five years later, I left and began to roam the world."
"So you never knew that Gandalf had died, did you, until Éomer freed you?" Aragorn questioned.
I shook my head. "I was distraught to know that an old friend had died, fretting over my whereabouts. Perhaps I should have let the word out of where I was," I admitted. "But it took a very long time for me to get used to freedom again, and being around other people who didn't plan to hurt me."
Aragorn placed a hand on my shoulder. "How did they hurt you?" he whispered.
"In all ways, Aragorn," I finally told him. "For years and countless nights."
He looked stricken as I removed his hand from my shoulder, for it made me uncomfortable.
Aragorn frowned and gripped my shoulders hard. "Legolas, I am not one of those who hurt you so. Do not turn away from me, for it breaks my heart." His voice was soft, yet harsh at the same time.
"Tis a reflex, Aragorn," I murmured. "Tis not personal. I did the same to Éomer for over two years."
"I would that you would be happy again, Legolas. Your eyes are those of a corpse, my friend." He pulled my face closer to his.
Longing was filling me, in spite of myself. I opened my mouth slowly as his lips pressed against mine once more.
His arms slid around my waist, holding me close, as if to protect me from harm. I was responding to the fiery kiss with a need all of my own.
**********************************
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming
Back to me now)
**********************************
Sparks flew as the kiss deepened even more.
I moaned softly. I had forgotten how pleasurable a genuine kiss can be, when given by one you love.
"Legolas," Aragorn whispered, as he kissed me again. His hands went up my back and into my silky hair. It was as fine as it had always been.
Heat was souring through me by now. Faint memories came and went between us. Memories of a happier, better time. Less painful memories of myself and Aragorn curled together in a bed, where he rubbed my hair and told me how beautiful I was.
*************************************
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, baby, baby
**************************************
The kiss broke apart. I murmured a protest. Aragorn looked at me, surprised. Longing shone in my eyes.
"Are you all right, Legolas?" he whispered.
"I-I had forgotten what it felt like, Aragorn," I said, so softly that he leaned close to me to hear what I said.
"What what felt like?" he asked quietly.
"Kissing you." My eyes met his. "I had forgotten it could be so pleasurable, Aragorn." I watched his face carefully.
"Then allow me to remind you once more, Legolas." He covered my mouth again with his sweet, gentle lips. A flush settled over both of us as I moaned and responded, chasing his mouth with my own.
My eyes closed in pleasure. I had desired and missed this for so long. I put my arms around him as his tongue darted into my mouth. My own instinctively entered his. I felt Aragorn's eyes on me. I opened his eyes, suddenly aware that I was trembling slightly.
"Why do you tremble so, Legolas?" he said in my ear. "Am I going too fast?"
I shook my head. "This is- It's so much more than what I grew used to." For the first time in five years, a tear dripped down my face.
Anger filled his eyes as he wiped the tear away. "Let me help you, Legolas," he said gently. "For I love you even now and have always loved you."
"Help me?" I whispered against his lips. "How?"
"By banishing the nightmares away." Without saying another word, Aragorn cupped my face towards him with his hands and kissed me hard. Fire exploded through me, as I countered with another kiss to him, surprising myself once more. His hands reached my cloak, and began removing it carefully. He dropped it to the ground, and began working on my shirt, which temporarily broke the sweet, magical kiss.
I looked into his eyes and saw the same longing there that shone in my eyes. I pressed my lips against his eagerly, enjoying the flood of emotions inside of me. I hadn't felt like this for so long.
********************************
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
********************************
Aragorn had dropped my shirt, as well. I brought my hands to his shirt and began removing it. He must have seen the confusion in my eyes, for he assisted me, drawing his shirt over his head and letting it fall.
Dear god, this was an agony of bliss. His hands worked at my belt as our lips met. My fingers fumbled against his belt, until I finally heard it clink on the ground.
I was dazed as Aragorn gently lifted me in his arms and carried me over to my blankets. With surprising gentleness, he laid me flat on my back and positioned himself on top of me.
Fear crept into my eyes, as did desire. I whimpered softly, a wordless pleading. His hands worked magic on me, calming my fears away ever so carefully.
"Aragorn," I whispered.
"Yes, Legolas?" he murmured against my lips.
"I-I don't-" My voice faltered.
Aragorn's eyes filled with compassion, before he smiled gently as he traced my face with his hands. "This night is for you, Legolas," he told me. "Relax, my love."
I trembled a little, unsure. Aragorn soothed me with his mouth, which was tender yet rough on my lips. My hands reached up of their own accord and pulled him closer to me, as I moaned again in pleasure.
I had never thought anything could feel so good as he nibbled on my neck and worked his way down, caressing me. Aragorn whispered to me that I was so beautiful to him, being as vulnerable and unsure as I had been the first time we'd made love.
I melted inside as Aragorn's hands removed my dark leggings and went to work.
*************
Hours later
**************
I lay in Aragorn's arms, panting hard. Our faces were flushed as we lay entwined on the blankets.
He gently kissed me twice; once on the forehead, and once on the mouth.
"Sleep, Legolas," he whispered. "I will watch over you tonight."
I sighed in contentment and rested my head on his bare chest, as one of his hands found its way into my hair again.
Love was blossoming in my heart once more, which Aragorn had healed this night. I turned to tell him this, but he gently placed a finger on my lips.
"Rest, dear one."
I nodded and closed my eyes. I had never felt so loved and cherished in my life, I realized, as I drifted off to sleep.
To be continued
