Hi everyone! I want to present to you the best story I ever wrote (at least, that's what everyone tells me through e-mail :)). It's the story that earned me a nominee in the Escaflowne awards. You be the judge of how well I did. I wrote this story when I was a beginner writer and if you read my other works (the more recent ones) then you can see why it's written the way it is. The other reason is because I haven't revised it yet and I don't plan on doing it right now because I'm too busy doing other things (and continuing other stories).
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE! PLEASE READ!!! I want to point out something that people kept complaining about. In this story, there is a repeated annoying event and if you notice it, tell me. I know what it is but if YOU can see it, then please forgive me. Like I said, I was a beginner writer when I wrote this and the repeated annoying event is actually crucial to the story (at least, for me it is because if I change the repeated event, it changes a lot of the story).
Okay, go ahead and read the fic! Enjoy and please review!
The New Kid
By Hitomi_Fanel
Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne.
"Hitomi! Wake up! You're going to be late for school!" a voice called from downstairs.
Hitomi opened her eyes and glanced at her clock. It read 7:00 (in Japan, high school kids enter class a 9). She groaned since she wanted to sleep some more but instead she sluggishly got out of bed and headed for the shower. It was a beautiful Monday morning but Hitomi wasn't looking forward to it.
She headed for the shower and got ready for school. Downstairs she heard her mom making her breakfast. She sniffed the air, enjoying the sweet smell of French toast.
Hungrily, she headed downstairs. She saw her mom putting her plate of food on the table. "Don't forget Hitomi. You have to pick up some groceries from the store. You have the list don't you?"
Hitomi nodded as she took a bite out of the French toast. "Yes mom. Don't worry, I'll get the groceries. I have to go to school. Bye."
Hitomi grabbed her backpack and headed out. The sun beat down on her as she saw Yukari waiting for her like always. "Hey Hitomi."
"Hey Yukari," Hitomi greeted. She noticed that Yukari was happier then usual today. "Why do you look so happy?"
"You'll never guess! A couple of houses down from mine, this new family moved in."
"Why would that make you so happy?" Hitomi asked. Something was up and Hitomi knew it.
"Because, you should have seen their son. He is such a hotty. He is so cute. Luckily he looks our age so he'll probably go to our school."
Hitomi just giggled. She would have to see this so called hotty for herself. 'Yukari just exaggerates. I bet he's regular looking.'
They continued to walk to school, unaware of the change their lives would take starting today...
^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~
Once Hitomi and Yukari arrived at school, they parted and headed to their own separate classrooms.
Hitomi arrived at her classroom and sat down at her seat. A girl she knew walked over.
"Hey Hitomi," she said. She was shorter than Hitomi and had short back hair.
"Hey Dui. Why do you look so happy?"
Dui smiled the smile that everyone smiled when they had a secret to tell. "Well, I just heard from some of my other friends that this really cute guy has just transferred from another school. I also heard that he is coming to this class. Isn't it exciting Hitomi? I just can't wait to see him."
Hitomi only smiled. This was the second time someone had mentioned this new kid and said that he was cute. Hitomi would have to see it to believe it.
Once their teacher walked in, everyone took their seats. "Okay class, I have some news. There's a new student here today."
Hitomi looked over at Dui who gave her a 'thumps up'. Hitomi only sighed and faced the teacher again.
"Everyone please welcome…Van Fanel."
At the mention of his name, a boy stepped through the door. The girl's immediately fell in love with him. He was a pretty tall boy. He was only a couple of inches taller than Hitomi, with black, unruly hair, reddish-brown eyes, and a tan. He had a soft look that really showed when he smiled.
"Okay Van, please take a seat and we can begin class," the teacher ordered softly.
Van nodded and took a seat behind Hitomi. Hitomi was amazed that he had taken that seat since there were other empty seats available.
Hitomi noticed that many girls frowned when they saw where Van decided to sit.
^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~^_~
Once class was over, Hitomi headed for her next class. She didn't notice that Van was following her.
"Hey," Van greeted from behind her.
Hitomi jumped and turned around.
Van gave her a charming, apologetic, nervous smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
Hitomi shook her head. "No, you didn't scare me. You just sorta surprised me." They began to walk through the halls and Hitomi still noticed the girls give Van flirty smiles while they flashed her hate looks. She chose to ignore this. "So, where do you come from?"
"I come from Hokkaido." Van was either totally oblivious to the girls' looks, or he didn't care.
"That's pretty far. What made you move here?"
Van shrugged. "My dads new job. You know how it is."
"Not really. I've never moved before."
Van blinked in surprise. He began to laugh. Hitomi only looked at him.
They reached Hitomi next class. "Do you have this class?" Hitomi asked.
Van looked at the sign. "Hm, Algebra, no, I don't. But maybe we'll have the next class together."
"Yeah, maybe." She entered without telling him goodbye.
To be continued....
Okay, so what did you think? Tell me. Of course I have the whole story done but I can't send it unless I get reviews. It all depends on the reviews I get how well I did this and if it deserves the nominee I got. And okay, so I did revise it a little. If you want to read the ACTUAL way it was written, go to the website below. I must warm you though, this version is better than the other (in my opinion). Okay, now review please!
http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/fanfiction Look under "J" and look for "Jessica Hernandez-Loera". Those are all of my stories. But you want to read "The New Kid" probably. And if you want, go ahead and read my other stories, plus stories by other authors. Well, bye!
