Author's note: I do not know whether or not to capitalize hobbits. It seems like I should, but when I do it looks funny. Are hobbits a proper noun? Do we capitalize man or elf? I suppose it it context. So I if write Hobbit and hobbit interchangeably, just ignore it. I have yet to determine which way is correct.
Pippin's Damn Scottish Accent
"We Hobbits, back in the Shire, are very fond of the simple things in life. Like eating, and drinking and laughing and smoking." Pippin was explaining what Hobbits were to Eric. "We were just simple creatures, never got into trouble, never had no adventures." Allison's left eye was beginning to twitch at the sound of Pippin's voice. It wasn't the fact that she didn't like his accent, because she actually did. She loved a nice Scottish accent; it was the fact that only he had one. Everyone else had a mild British-type accent (Except for Merry and Legolas they had a strong British accent, but it wasn't so noticeable when everyone else was talking with the same accent). Actually, the fact was Allison had rather imagined that they would have far different accents then what she heard at home. It was one of those things, she imagined, that only bothered you because there wasn't anything else around to make your mind think about. She tried to stop thinking about it, but the rolling 'R's, the way everything he said sounded like it was being spit out like a piece of bad gum…it was tainting her mind.
"Y'know back in the Shire I was on my way to becoming a very prominent Hobbit…" This was when Allison cracked.
"Why! Why do you have a Scottish accent?" She screamed at Pippin. Pippin looked at her confused,
"What? I don't understand." Eric had now burst into a fit of laughter and was doubled over.
"You talk with a Scottish accent even though you're not from Scotland! You're the only one who has a Scottish accent. I wouldn't even mind it; I don't normally mind it, except that you're the only one here who talks like that!"
"Well, I fail to see how that makes a different. You're the only one here who talks the way you do." Pippin said defensively. Eric was gasping for air through laughs.
"And how's that?" She asked
"You say your 'A's funny. Their flat…" Allison put her hand on to her forehead. She had lived in New York for ten years and the annoying, flat A's still haunted her. "And I suppose I could accept it, you being from another planet and all, except for the fact that you're friend doesn't say his 'A's the way you do either."
"Yeah, well you say your 'R's funny. You roll your tongue when you do it." She said like a child back to him. The group was getting pretty tired of Allison having emotional outburst, holding up their travel. But this was actually rather amusing.
"My 'R's? Really?" As he said it, his 'R's inevitable rolled and Allison grit her teeth. Eric finally was able to stop laughing and put his arm around Allison.
"Just turn around and keep walking." He said, turning her around. She lay her head on his shoulder.
"I think I'm going crazy."
"Just as long as you don't go postal on that one that looks like Elijah Wood, we should be ok."
About an hour later, the group stopped to make camp. Allison had apologized to Pippin, explaining that he was actually her favorite character in the books. Pippin beamed with pride.
"Everyone likes the heroes, like Strider and Legolas, it's nice to hear someone likes a poor old Hobbit for a change. And not even Frodo, just because he's the Ring Bearer and all, everyone loves him." Allison smiled and decided not to profess her undying love for Legolas at that moment, so as not to burst Pippin's bubble. She sat down on the ground next to Pippin and Eric came up and put his arm around her from behind. This was rather unexpected and startled her quite a bit. She jumped with fright and squeaked. Aragorn looked over at the two.
"Eric come and help Gimli collect firewood." Eric nodded, but whispered in Allison's ear,
"Which one is Gimli?"
"The dwarf." He nodded and then walked over to the dwarf. "And please try not to offend him this time." Allison muttered.
As much as Allison had hoped that Eric would manage not to offend the dwarf, and he tried hard, he really did, it did, in the end, happen. So the night ended in Eric almost being beheaded…again. Allison, all the while, had been talking to (or rather drooling over) Legolas, telling her some stories and singing her songs from the elven history. Eric sat down and fumed to them.
"It seems like I can't do anything to not piss off that stupid dwarf."
"You really must excuse Gimli, dwarves are very…well, easily off-set." Legolas said.
"You're telling me." Eric rolled his eyes but soon settled down once the elf restarted his stories. After a few hours, they became weary and feel asleep.
