AUTHOR: Elizabeth
TITLE: 'The Gods must be Crazy'
RATING: R...eventually (sigh)
DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine. They are not mine because I am not JK Rowling. I'm just a bad-mannered person who takes JK Rowlings stuff without asking and hopes she won't be sued into next week.
NOTES 1: I've been reading a few really cute stories where Harry and Seamus hook up. Sadly, there aren't too many of these stories. I'm doing my bit to push the ship. 'Cause it's cute.
NOTES 2: Yeah...whoops. Exams happened to this story. Exams happened to it so badly I wasn't sure about finishing it. But I hate leaving things unfinished.
NOTES 3: This is slash. In case you've gotten thus far and haven't realised (which, considering my smut-writing, is actually a possibility)
SUMMARY: A convenient case of festering flu brings Harry and Seamus together. Which results in A Beginning. Now the flu is over, and maybe...possibly...there could be A New Thing
FEEDBACK: Most welcome. I kinda got out of the swing of this during exams, so all comments and criticisms valued (first story. In mucho need of guidance, since I would like to improve).
Also, many many thanks to everyone who left reviews.
**********************
As Seamus' lips brushed his, Harry closed his eyes and concentrated on reciprocation. It wasn't feeling so awkward now. In fact, if this was the sort of tingle Hermione got from learning, Harry finally understood the hours of library-time.
Plus, if Seamus' was giving back even _half _ of what he was getting, then Harry was no longer in imminent danger of Lavender-hood.
When Harry eventually opened his eyes, he saw white mist. He blinked, but it didn't clear. His panicked mind was left with one terrible conclusion…those awful stories Dudley had told last summer - were _true _. This sort of thing made you _blind _.
He opened his mouth; maybe to inform Seamus of the situation, maybe to throw up - he wasn't quite sure. Before he could actually say anything, he felt pressure on either side of his nose. Oh. Glasses. He stared stupidly at the blurry, but thankfully Technicolor view of Seamus revealed.
He squinted. Seamus appeared to be grinning
.
"Cool" he said, holding up Harry's glasses. "We got steam!"
*****************
Harry considered that things had worked out quite well. Yes, all things considered - quite well. He examined an every-flavour bean carefully before popping it into his mouth.
He had had to manage without Ron and Hermione for four weeks - which, even with Seamus, had not been a pleasant experience. But - he _had _ managed. He had had fun, even. And more than that, he had…he racked his brains to think of the phrase Hermione was so fond of - he had utilised his time effectively. He hadn't moped around. He had acquired skills and knowledge which would come in useful if he ever…if Cho Chang ever…well, maybe he hadn't quite worked out the ending yet.
And now…
"…showed me how to do it too," Hermione said. "Really it was very informative. I think we should all be given training in medical wizardry. Well - maybe not in first year, but later, definitely. It would be an invaluable learning experience."
Ron groaned. "Only you could be quarantined for four weeks and find it _fun _. Until last week, I hardly knew what was happening. Chills, sweats, that _stuff _ they put in my eyes…"
"Powdered dragon's toenails dissolved in rosebane acid," Hermione said primly. A greenish colour crept up Ron's face.
"And I don't know if I'd call it fun," she continued, "But I _did _ try to utilise my time wisely."
Harry stifled a grin. Now, everything was back to normal.
Except…
He frowned. Seamus was on the other side of the common room. If it had been anyone else, Harry would have said he looked…lost. A couple of students (Dean Thomas included) were still in the infirmary. Something about an allergic reaction.
Harry bit his lip. He and Seamus had spent a lot of time together, and it didn't seem…right, to just - ignore him. Before he could properly think about what he was doing, he called out, "Seamus!" and nodded towards himself, Ron and Hermione.
"Um…it's - we hung around. A lot. When everyone was sick and," Harry mumbled to the others.
Seamus grinned, a big easy grin, which almost made Harry re-evaluate the words 'Seamus' and 'lost'. Further re-evaluation occurred when Seamus squeezed in between Ron and Hermione and said brightly, "So, what're we talking about? Pass the beans."
**********************
It was at the point where Ron asked, "So, what did you guys do while we were out of action?" that Harry realised that their activities of the past few weeks weren't appropriate conversation material.
And, as Seamus opened his mouth, Harry got the sinking feeling that Seamus did _not _ realise this. Harry shut his eyes and anticipated
"Actually, Harry and me, we figured out how much tongue is enough, and that biting is not always a good thing. Wanna demonstration?"
Acting independently of his mind, his foot lashed out under the table. Unfortunately -
"OW! Watch it!" Ron scowled. "I've just got out of the infirmary, Harry."
"Sorry," he mumbled.
"Did you manage to get any revision done?" Hermione asked, not very hopefully. "After all, tests are just around the corner, and proper preparation prevents panic and perfects points."
"Well," Seamus smiled mischievously. "We _did _ get a lot of reading done."
Harry froze in horror. Suddenly, the past four weeks were looking…different, with Ron and Hermione there. He had no idea how 'reading' would end up revealing what he didn't _want _ revealed, but this being _Seamus' _ idea of reading…nothing good could come of it.
Seamus tilted his head back and began talking to the ceiling. "He was stubborn. Of course Henrietta had expected that. However, he had never had to face _her _ before, and he was in for a surprise. Roland's fire would meet her ice and, though the conflict would be explosive, ice would be the clear victor."
Harry frowned in confusion. Seamus surely wasn't attempting to explain them - the, the thing, in terms of Enchanted Silhouette books - was he?
Then Hermione's face went bright red, and her mouth opened and closed convulsively.
Seamus continued. "She hadn't expected to find herself so…drawn to him though. The man was a boor, that was clear enough. No manners and as for his attitude to women? _Merlin _ had been more advanced. Still, perhaps all he really needed was someone to teach him a lesson. And Henrietta Rollins was just the 'Muggle' to do it."
Harry squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he had feared - but, judging from the look on Hermione's face - it was a close second. A distant part of him was amazed that Seamus had put himself to the bother of memorizing part of the book. Even if it was with the intention of causing humiliation and embarrassment.
He glanced at them expectantly. " 'The Muggle and the Magician' Mills and Boom books. _Much _ more modern than Enchanted Silhouettes. You're a woman of taste, Hermione. I liked that one the best."
Hermione looked like she might explode. "You…you…Harry!"
"What?" he jumped.
"I can't believe you rummaged through my things! That - that's private! I should"
"I didn't" -
"But it was just poking out of your book-bag…it was so tempting," Seamus interrupted.
Hermione got to her feet, anger making her movements jerky. "I cannot believe either of you would do that. I can't…I'm sure it would even be a _waste _ of my time explaining how _rotten _ it was of you to do that. And I have better things to do with my time. I expected more from _you _ Harry."
"Hermione! Wait!" Harry called. She didn't pause but strode off, hurt and straight-backed.
"It was just a book!" Seamus exclaimed. But there was a small smile hiding at the corners of his mouth. Harry glared at him.
"Told you!" he crowed.
"What was that about?" Ron asked confusedly.
**************************
Harry was almost hoarse from apologising before Hermione would even speak to him. As for Seamus…Harry had the feeling that his name was entered into Hermione's black books with indelible ink.
And even though Hermione claimed to have forgiven him, there were still occasional cold spells. Mainly whenever Ron opened his big mouth to ask her about the books. ("Do - do you…read often?") Which he couldn't seem to stop doing.
"Hermione?" he'd spluttered, when Harry had explained it to him. "Hermione?! I mean…Hermione?"
"Yes!"
"But, it doesn't…I mean, she…Hermione wouldn't. She doesn't think about those…things."
"Ron, I think everyone thinks about…things." At Ron's wide-eyed stare, he amended it to, "Well, maybe not Snape. Or - or Professor McGonagall."
"Still…I mean - do y…have you" -
"I should - go. Apologize to Hermione." Harry had beat a hasty retreat, before an honest nature and the demands of best-friendship made him blurt out that for four weeks, Harry hadn't thought about…things. Mainly because he'd been too busy doing them.
***********************
So, Harry had been relieved he heard that Dean Thomas (slightly pink-eyed) was out of the infirmary. He could stop feeling vaguely responsible for Seamus and everything would go back to normal.
And everything did.
Which was fine - exactly what Harry wanted. Except…well, he couldn't help but feel a bit…piqued. Not full-blown annoyed exactly, but there was definite pique. After all, he'd tried to include Seamus, and hadn't left him out when Ron and Hermione came back. But as soon as _his _ friend came back there were practically zoom marks on the carpet from Seamus racing over to take his place by Dean's side.
Which stung a little. Harry reflected that it was not a nice thing to be dropped.
But, really it was okay. Harry went back to Quidditch and classes and Ron and Hermione. He put the past four weeks out of his head, relieved that Seamus hadn't blurted it out to anyone.
*************************
And things were fine. Really. Harry had been absolutely, completely fine, right up until he realized that he wasn't. Which happened to be coming out of a Transfiguration Lesson.
Dean and Seamus had been ahead of him, and Seamus had kept tugging at Dean's shoulder, while Dean resolutely ignored him. Which, of course, only made Seamus try harder for a reaction.
A small curl of something unpleasant rose in his stomach. He remembered ("C'mon, tell me! Tellmetellmetellmetellme!") Seamus teasing him, focusing on _him _ during those four weeks. Which suddenly felt wrong and out of place.
No. It made him feel…second-best. Substituted. Dean-lite. Like the way Dudley rolled his eyes up when Aunt Petunia made cakes with margarine instead of butter…but still managed to polish off eleven or twelve slices of it anyway.
And yes, Harry wouldn't have spent time with him if Ron hadn't been sick, but…but…
It was different, Harry thought. He wasn't quite sure how, but it was. And he was suddenly aware that he was not all right, and that the four weeks were not all right, and the fact that Seamus did appear to be all right irritated him immensely.
Off balance, he did the only thing he could think of. He waited until Dean was distracted by something not-Seamus, tapped Seamus on the shoulder, and tugged him around the corner, and into a handy closet.
*******************************
Harry had a brief moment to wonder why there was a large janitorial closet, when Hogwarts didn't seem to have a janitor. Or at least, a janitor who would need mops, cleaning polishes and buckets of water.
He didn't really have any more time to think about it though, as he shut the door, and pushed Seamus up against the well-stocked shelves.
"Harry? What're you" - was as far as Seamus got before Harry kissed him.
It probably wasn't a very good idea, but Seamus didn't seem to be complaining, and this was…different to the four weeks somehow. It seemed much more intimate in the dark, feeling the press of Seamus' lips and the smooth slide of their tongues.
Harry took one more breath of lemon-and-pine air, and pulled back.
"Wow. You're getting better at this all the time," Seamus said.
What Harry _meant _ to say was, "Um…thanks," or "Sorry about that, don't really know what came over me." Then he'd be able to get out of this stuffy closet and this suddenly sticky situation with the minimum of embarrassment.
Instead, he heard himself ask, "D'you ever do this with Dean?" As soon as he said it, he wanted to cut his tongue out. He could feel himself redden with mortification.
"What?" Seamus asked. "Do I do what with Dean?"
"T-this," Harry said, waves of heat passing over him uncomfortably.
"This?" Seamus repeated. Harry nodded, before realising that Seamus probably couldn't see it. He didn't think it was possible, but his face got even warmer.
Instead of answering the question, Seamus teased, "Do you? With Ron?"
"With - what? No! We - no," Harry stuttered. "He's um…my best friend, but I don't - um. It would be - yick."
Seamus considered. "I haven't either. Be too complicated, wouldn't it? Anyway, I have to go, we're meeting up before supper. You really are getting better at this. See you."
There was a burst of light that made Harry squint. "Um - do you want to stay in there? Will I close the door?" Seamus looked honestly curious. "Oh, look - I've _really _ got to go. See you later." He shut the door before Harry could reply.
**************************
Harry slumped back against the shelves. This was, he thought, very confusing.
This was A New Thing. He didn't think it was about festering flu, or the four weeks, or being dropped as soon as Dean Thomas appeared on the horizon. He didn't know what exactly it _was _ about, but he felt he deserved points for at least recognising that it was A New Thing. Hermione occasionally accused him of being unobservant. If only she could see him now. Wait - he reconsidered that last thought.
He frowned. Speaking of observant, he wasn't exactly sure that their denials were on an even par. He was pretty sure that 'I don't. It would be…yick," was a stronger statement than, "I haven't. It would be complicated." This bothered him, for some reason.
Granted, he hadn't had much experience with this sort of thing, but he suspected that he was having an Epiphany. He also suspected that Seamus was Epiphany-free. He found this annoying.
TITLE: 'The Gods must be Crazy'
RATING: R...eventually (sigh)
DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine. They are not mine because I am not JK Rowling. I'm just a bad-mannered person who takes JK Rowlings stuff without asking and hopes she won't be sued into next week.
NOTES 1: I've been reading a few really cute stories where Harry and Seamus hook up. Sadly, there aren't too many of these stories. I'm doing my bit to push the ship. 'Cause it's cute.
NOTES 2: Yeah...whoops. Exams happened to this story. Exams happened to it so badly I wasn't sure about finishing it. But I hate leaving things unfinished.
NOTES 3: This is slash. In case you've gotten thus far and haven't realised (which, considering my smut-writing, is actually a possibility)
SUMMARY: A convenient case of festering flu brings Harry and Seamus together. Which results in A Beginning. Now the flu is over, and maybe...possibly...there could be A New Thing
FEEDBACK: Most welcome. I kinda got out of the swing of this during exams, so all comments and criticisms valued (first story. In mucho need of guidance, since I would like to improve).
Also, many many thanks to everyone who left reviews.
**********************
As Seamus' lips brushed his, Harry closed his eyes and concentrated on reciprocation. It wasn't feeling so awkward now. In fact, if this was the sort of tingle Hermione got from learning, Harry finally understood the hours of library-time.
Plus, if Seamus' was giving back even _half _ of what he was getting, then Harry was no longer in imminent danger of Lavender-hood.
When Harry eventually opened his eyes, he saw white mist. He blinked, but it didn't clear. His panicked mind was left with one terrible conclusion…those awful stories Dudley had told last summer - were _true _. This sort of thing made you _blind _.
He opened his mouth; maybe to inform Seamus of the situation, maybe to throw up - he wasn't quite sure. Before he could actually say anything, he felt pressure on either side of his nose. Oh. Glasses. He stared stupidly at the blurry, but thankfully Technicolor view of Seamus revealed.
He squinted. Seamus appeared to be grinning
.
"Cool" he said, holding up Harry's glasses. "We got steam!"
*****************
Harry considered that things had worked out quite well. Yes, all things considered - quite well. He examined an every-flavour bean carefully before popping it into his mouth.
He had had to manage without Ron and Hermione for four weeks - which, even with Seamus, had not been a pleasant experience. But - he _had _ managed. He had had fun, even. And more than that, he had…he racked his brains to think of the phrase Hermione was so fond of - he had utilised his time effectively. He hadn't moped around. He had acquired skills and knowledge which would come in useful if he ever…if Cho Chang ever…well, maybe he hadn't quite worked out the ending yet.
And now…
"…showed me how to do it too," Hermione said. "Really it was very informative. I think we should all be given training in medical wizardry. Well - maybe not in first year, but later, definitely. It would be an invaluable learning experience."
Ron groaned. "Only you could be quarantined for four weeks and find it _fun _. Until last week, I hardly knew what was happening. Chills, sweats, that _stuff _ they put in my eyes…"
"Powdered dragon's toenails dissolved in rosebane acid," Hermione said primly. A greenish colour crept up Ron's face.
"And I don't know if I'd call it fun," she continued, "But I _did _ try to utilise my time wisely."
Harry stifled a grin. Now, everything was back to normal.
Except…
He frowned. Seamus was on the other side of the common room. If it had been anyone else, Harry would have said he looked…lost. A couple of students (Dean Thomas included) were still in the infirmary. Something about an allergic reaction.
Harry bit his lip. He and Seamus had spent a lot of time together, and it didn't seem…right, to just - ignore him. Before he could properly think about what he was doing, he called out, "Seamus!" and nodded towards himself, Ron and Hermione.
"Um…it's - we hung around. A lot. When everyone was sick and," Harry mumbled to the others.
Seamus grinned, a big easy grin, which almost made Harry re-evaluate the words 'Seamus' and 'lost'. Further re-evaluation occurred when Seamus squeezed in between Ron and Hermione and said brightly, "So, what're we talking about? Pass the beans."
**********************
It was at the point where Ron asked, "So, what did you guys do while we were out of action?" that Harry realised that their activities of the past few weeks weren't appropriate conversation material.
And, as Seamus opened his mouth, Harry got the sinking feeling that Seamus did _not _ realise this. Harry shut his eyes and anticipated
"Actually, Harry and me, we figured out how much tongue is enough, and that biting is not always a good thing. Wanna demonstration?"
Acting independently of his mind, his foot lashed out under the table. Unfortunately -
"OW! Watch it!" Ron scowled. "I've just got out of the infirmary, Harry."
"Sorry," he mumbled.
"Did you manage to get any revision done?" Hermione asked, not very hopefully. "After all, tests are just around the corner, and proper preparation prevents panic and perfects points."
"Well," Seamus smiled mischievously. "We _did _ get a lot of reading done."
Harry froze in horror. Suddenly, the past four weeks were looking…different, with Ron and Hermione there. He had no idea how 'reading' would end up revealing what he didn't _want _ revealed, but this being _Seamus' _ idea of reading…nothing good could come of it.
Seamus tilted his head back and began talking to the ceiling. "He was stubborn. Of course Henrietta had expected that. However, he had never had to face _her _ before, and he was in for a surprise. Roland's fire would meet her ice and, though the conflict would be explosive, ice would be the clear victor."
Harry frowned in confusion. Seamus surely wasn't attempting to explain them - the, the thing, in terms of Enchanted Silhouette books - was he?
Then Hermione's face went bright red, and her mouth opened and closed convulsively.
Seamus continued. "She hadn't expected to find herself so…drawn to him though. The man was a boor, that was clear enough. No manners and as for his attitude to women? _Merlin _ had been more advanced. Still, perhaps all he really needed was someone to teach him a lesson. And Henrietta Rollins was just the 'Muggle' to do it."
Harry squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he had feared - but, judging from the look on Hermione's face - it was a close second. A distant part of him was amazed that Seamus had put himself to the bother of memorizing part of the book. Even if it was with the intention of causing humiliation and embarrassment.
He glanced at them expectantly. " 'The Muggle and the Magician' Mills and Boom books. _Much _ more modern than Enchanted Silhouettes. You're a woman of taste, Hermione. I liked that one the best."
Hermione looked like she might explode. "You…you…Harry!"
"What?" he jumped.
"I can't believe you rummaged through my things! That - that's private! I should"
"I didn't" -
"But it was just poking out of your book-bag…it was so tempting," Seamus interrupted.
Hermione got to her feet, anger making her movements jerky. "I cannot believe either of you would do that. I can't…I'm sure it would even be a _waste _ of my time explaining how _rotten _ it was of you to do that. And I have better things to do with my time. I expected more from _you _ Harry."
"Hermione! Wait!" Harry called. She didn't pause but strode off, hurt and straight-backed.
"It was just a book!" Seamus exclaimed. But there was a small smile hiding at the corners of his mouth. Harry glared at him.
"Told you!" he crowed.
"What was that about?" Ron asked confusedly.
**************************
Harry was almost hoarse from apologising before Hermione would even speak to him. As for Seamus…Harry had the feeling that his name was entered into Hermione's black books with indelible ink.
And even though Hermione claimed to have forgiven him, there were still occasional cold spells. Mainly whenever Ron opened his big mouth to ask her about the books. ("Do - do you…read often?") Which he couldn't seem to stop doing.
"Hermione?" he'd spluttered, when Harry had explained it to him. "Hermione?! I mean…Hermione?"
"Yes!"
"But, it doesn't…I mean, she…Hermione wouldn't. She doesn't think about those…things."
"Ron, I think everyone thinks about…things." At Ron's wide-eyed stare, he amended it to, "Well, maybe not Snape. Or - or Professor McGonagall."
"Still…I mean - do y…have you" -
"I should - go. Apologize to Hermione." Harry had beat a hasty retreat, before an honest nature and the demands of best-friendship made him blurt out that for four weeks, Harry hadn't thought about…things. Mainly because he'd been too busy doing them.
***********************
So, Harry had been relieved he heard that Dean Thomas (slightly pink-eyed) was out of the infirmary. He could stop feeling vaguely responsible for Seamus and everything would go back to normal.
And everything did.
Which was fine - exactly what Harry wanted. Except…well, he couldn't help but feel a bit…piqued. Not full-blown annoyed exactly, but there was definite pique. After all, he'd tried to include Seamus, and hadn't left him out when Ron and Hermione came back. But as soon as _his _ friend came back there were practically zoom marks on the carpet from Seamus racing over to take his place by Dean's side.
Which stung a little. Harry reflected that it was not a nice thing to be dropped.
But, really it was okay. Harry went back to Quidditch and classes and Ron and Hermione. He put the past four weeks out of his head, relieved that Seamus hadn't blurted it out to anyone.
*************************
And things were fine. Really. Harry had been absolutely, completely fine, right up until he realized that he wasn't. Which happened to be coming out of a Transfiguration Lesson.
Dean and Seamus had been ahead of him, and Seamus had kept tugging at Dean's shoulder, while Dean resolutely ignored him. Which, of course, only made Seamus try harder for a reaction.
A small curl of something unpleasant rose in his stomach. He remembered ("C'mon, tell me! Tellmetellmetellmetellme!") Seamus teasing him, focusing on _him _ during those four weeks. Which suddenly felt wrong and out of place.
No. It made him feel…second-best. Substituted. Dean-lite. Like the way Dudley rolled his eyes up when Aunt Petunia made cakes with margarine instead of butter…but still managed to polish off eleven or twelve slices of it anyway.
And yes, Harry wouldn't have spent time with him if Ron hadn't been sick, but…but…
It was different, Harry thought. He wasn't quite sure how, but it was. And he was suddenly aware that he was not all right, and that the four weeks were not all right, and the fact that Seamus did appear to be all right irritated him immensely.
Off balance, he did the only thing he could think of. He waited until Dean was distracted by something not-Seamus, tapped Seamus on the shoulder, and tugged him around the corner, and into a handy closet.
*******************************
Harry had a brief moment to wonder why there was a large janitorial closet, when Hogwarts didn't seem to have a janitor. Or at least, a janitor who would need mops, cleaning polishes and buckets of water.
He didn't really have any more time to think about it though, as he shut the door, and pushed Seamus up against the well-stocked shelves.
"Harry? What're you" - was as far as Seamus got before Harry kissed him.
It probably wasn't a very good idea, but Seamus didn't seem to be complaining, and this was…different to the four weeks somehow. It seemed much more intimate in the dark, feeling the press of Seamus' lips and the smooth slide of their tongues.
Harry took one more breath of lemon-and-pine air, and pulled back.
"Wow. You're getting better at this all the time," Seamus said.
What Harry _meant _ to say was, "Um…thanks," or "Sorry about that, don't really know what came over me." Then he'd be able to get out of this stuffy closet and this suddenly sticky situation with the minimum of embarrassment.
Instead, he heard himself ask, "D'you ever do this with Dean?" As soon as he said it, he wanted to cut his tongue out. He could feel himself redden with mortification.
"What?" Seamus asked. "Do I do what with Dean?"
"T-this," Harry said, waves of heat passing over him uncomfortably.
"This?" Seamus repeated. Harry nodded, before realising that Seamus probably couldn't see it. He didn't think it was possible, but his face got even warmer.
Instead of answering the question, Seamus teased, "Do you? With Ron?"
"With - what? No! We - no," Harry stuttered. "He's um…my best friend, but I don't - um. It would be - yick."
Seamus considered. "I haven't either. Be too complicated, wouldn't it? Anyway, I have to go, we're meeting up before supper. You really are getting better at this. See you."
There was a burst of light that made Harry squint. "Um - do you want to stay in there? Will I close the door?" Seamus looked honestly curious. "Oh, look - I've _really _ got to go. See you later." He shut the door before Harry could reply.
**************************
Harry slumped back against the shelves. This was, he thought, very confusing.
This was A New Thing. He didn't think it was about festering flu, or the four weeks, or being dropped as soon as Dean Thomas appeared on the horizon. He didn't know what exactly it _was _ about, but he felt he deserved points for at least recognising that it was A New Thing. Hermione occasionally accused him of being unobservant. If only she could see him now. Wait - he reconsidered that last thought.
He frowned. Speaking of observant, he wasn't exactly sure that their denials were on an even par. He was pretty sure that 'I don't. It would be…yick," was a stronger statement than, "I haven't. It would be complicated." This bothered him, for some reason.
Granted, he hadn't had much experience with this sort of thing, but he suspected that he was having an Epiphany. He also suspected that Seamus was Epiphany-free. He found this annoying.
