This thingy- chapter thing continues right on from the last thingy. Right now I'm only writing this for my own sanity - as the last one got an astounding 2 reviews. Didn't you pay attention to the bit about zen?
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Suddenly, Stalker showed up and stole Frodum's boot.
"ACH!!!! PRECIOUSSSSESSSSUSSSSS!!!" cried Frodum.
"Shut up. Now you weren't supposed to obsess over a friggin boot, dumb ass!" said Stalker as he destroyed the boot with his high tech destructo eye beams (those crazy, crazy elves). He then pulled something shiny and glowing with evil glowyness.
"Here, be obsessed with the probably evil stone I gave you but somehow regained possession of." he then tossed the stone to the shocked Frodum who caught it.
"I have to be obssssssesssssssssed with thisssss?" he hissed, looking at the stone.
"Yes. And you also must call it Colonel Cheesepox. And now I must leave and go back to my planet...... forest." Glancing left and right Stalker pressed one of his rings and vanished, leaving Frodum with Colonel Cheesepox.
"Right then!" said Colonel Cheesepox. "Lets go watch Martha Stewart!"
Frodum hissed. "Geez, lighten up kid. How about a nice song?"
"You really are probably evil, aren't you?" Frodum muttered. But Frodum was nothing if not optimistic, and he decided to give this new obsession a go. But Colonel Cheesepox was no boot, and getting used to him would be hard, as Frodum was quickly discovering.
"why don't elves have pointy ears? Isn't that a neccessary characteristic of them? If so they're failing miserably. You tell them that, right, next elf we see, tell him 'oi! wheres your pointy ears you tree-climbing squirrel freak?!' and if they shoot arrows at you or something, don't worry about it I'll be fine and I'm sure you can run fast, your the one with the legs you know...." and so on. Cheesepox seemed capable of ceaseless chatter. Frodum had never known anything so annoying or probably evil in his life. Frodum was annoyed. He therefore threw colonel Cheesepox into a convenient nearby river (Keep in mind that Frodum is on Mount Doom. Where will the insanity end?)
"Glad thats over with" mused Frodum, with a touch of his old Frodo self. However, just as he turned to walk away, he tripped over something probably evil. It was that damn stone!
"HAHAHAHA!!!! YOU CANNOT DESTROY ME SO EASILY!!! and another thing, who told you it was okay to start acting normally again?" said the stone.
"I-"
"What, do you want the story to just end here?"
"I-"
"What kind of selfish halfling are you? How dare you try to get rid of me, your Precious!"
"But-"
"You bloody great pillock, I'll have your little hide. That actually reminds me of a story, I was with these elves a couple thousand years ago, who were hiding from this sort of creature that cuts your hair and drafts you in the army...." and so on. Frodum stared in amazement, and felt what little he had of his sanity slipping away. Obviously, this stone needed more than water to corrode its probably evil wiles.
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disclaimer: I own no recognizable characters.
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Suddenly, Stalker showed up and stole Frodum's boot.
"ACH!!!! PRECIOUSSSSESSSSUSSSSS!!!" cried Frodum.
"Shut up. Now you weren't supposed to obsess over a friggin boot, dumb ass!" said Stalker as he destroyed the boot with his high tech destructo eye beams (those crazy, crazy elves). He then pulled something shiny and glowing with evil glowyness.
"Here, be obsessed with the probably evil stone I gave you but somehow regained possession of." he then tossed the stone to the shocked Frodum who caught it.
"I have to be obssssssesssssssssed with thisssss?" he hissed, looking at the stone.
"Yes. And you also must call it Colonel Cheesepox. And now I must leave and go back to my planet...... forest." Glancing left and right Stalker pressed one of his rings and vanished, leaving Frodum with Colonel Cheesepox.
"Right then!" said Colonel Cheesepox. "Lets go watch Martha Stewart!"
Frodum hissed. "Geez, lighten up kid. How about a nice song?"
"You really are probably evil, aren't you?" Frodum muttered. But Frodum was nothing if not optimistic, and he decided to give this new obsession a go. But Colonel Cheesepox was no boot, and getting used to him would be hard, as Frodum was quickly discovering.
"why don't elves have pointy ears? Isn't that a neccessary characteristic of them? If so they're failing miserably. You tell them that, right, next elf we see, tell him 'oi! wheres your pointy ears you tree-climbing squirrel freak?!' and if they shoot arrows at you or something, don't worry about it I'll be fine and I'm sure you can run fast, your the one with the legs you know...." and so on. Cheesepox seemed capable of ceaseless chatter. Frodum had never known anything so annoying or probably evil in his life. Frodum was annoyed. He therefore threw colonel Cheesepox into a convenient nearby river (Keep in mind that Frodum is on Mount Doom. Where will the insanity end?)
"Glad thats over with" mused Frodum, with a touch of his old Frodo self. However, just as he turned to walk away, he tripped over something probably evil. It was that damn stone!
"HAHAHAHA!!!! YOU CANNOT DESTROY ME SO EASILY!!! and another thing, who told you it was okay to start acting normally again?" said the stone.
"I-"
"What, do you want the story to just end here?"
"I-"
"What kind of selfish halfling are you? How dare you try to get rid of me, your Precious!"
"But-"
"You bloody great pillock, I'll have your little hide. That actually reminds me of a story, I was with these elves a couple thousand years ago, who were hiding from this sort of creature that cuts your hair and drafts you in the army...." and so on. Frodum stared in amazement, and felt what little he had of his sanity slipping away. Obviously, this stone needed more than water to corrode its probably evil wiles.
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disclaimer: I own no recognizable characters.