Hymn

by Joon and Poe

COMPLETE! Part 1:Fated Storms Arc. A Tale of Love, Loyalty and Friendship. AU, Yaoi. Duo's life is never the same after it is touched by death, mystery and romance. He finds within himself and his comrades courage to face demons real and inside each soul.

4. Evening Star

part four: evening star

He woke- sitting bolt upright in the bed, arms closing instinctively around the warm body they brushed against. He was shaking, and a cold sweat dusted his knotted brow. Slowly, hesitantly, his embrace was returned. Strong arms closed around his waist and rubbed soothingly across the back of his neck, running cautiously through his tangled hair. a low voice commanded. It was only a dream.

I- I couldn't save them.

Shh, it's all right. You're safe here- with me.

It's all my fault.

No, don't say that.

It's true.

He pulled away from the safety of those encircling arms, his violet gaze meeting with the purest, most beautiful blue eyes the world had ever known. Bowing his head slightly, he let his hands fall into his lap, absently playing with the folds of the snarled sheets. They sat like that for painful long moments, both unwilling to meet the other's eyes again. It was Heero who shattered the silence.

What were you dreaming about?



You're lying.

I know.

Again the silence consumed them. Heero lowered his eyes to stare at his own hands- hands which had only precious moments ago held everything they had ever wanted. He had no idea it could feel that good, so right. His pupils traced over the lines of his upturned palms, memorizing every crease and scar. Involuntarily, his hands moved to fold Duo's within their torrid hold. He tried to pull away at first, but only at first- Heero's comforting hands soothed his screaming psyche.

Why do you blame yourself? Heero asked, softening his touch and drawing Duo's hands into his chest, hugging them protectively.

Because it was my fault.

What happened? Heero's question was met with nothing but silence. *Is this how Duo feels when I ignore him?* something in the back of his mind questioned. It was such a helpless feeling- wanting to soothe but not knowing how to. Wanting someone to let you in, only to be met by dirty steel walls. he choked out, his own voice sounding foreign and so very far away. please- at least let me try to help you. *You've done so much for me,* his mind begged to explain. *It's my turn now, please let me in.*

Everything I touch dies, he whispered into the space between them. He fought again to escape Heero's grasp but he lacked the strength needed to win his freedom.

That's not true, Heero said placidly yet without sounding detached. Duo lifted his eyes, staring into Heero, through him- Heero trailed his fingers through Duo's thick bangs, sweeping stray hairs away from his fierce eyes.

With a flash of feral energy, Duo tore away from Heero's arms. He backed blindly into the far wall, sending an echo into the air where words feared to tread. He covered his eyes with his hands, pressing against his closed lids with his palms. In cat-like fluid movements, Heero rose from where he sat- approaching Duo cautiously, like one might advance on a cornered fawn. He did not know what he was doing, and honestly, he did not care. There was a yearning, a hunger inside of him- something he had never felt before. Could it be love? No one had ever loved him before, no one had ever treated him like a human being. No one but Duo. And now he could admit to himself what he had been feeling all along. He loved Duo.

Reaching out to him, needing him, Heero curled the shuddering boy into his secure embrace- wanting nothing more than to quiet his fears and keep him safe forever. The feel of Duo's breath against his exposed throat was unlike anything he had known before. He felt alive, and this feeling was heaven. He never wanted it to end, never wanted to let go. Wishing time would stop for them, willing the sun to die, he stood timeless, beautiful and alive with this heaven in his arms.

I don't want to hurt you.

Shh. . . He tightened his hold on Duo, hugging him against his chest.

A shrill beeping bore into the quiet of the room causing Duo to jump slightly, freeing himself from Heero's strong embrace. He turned to see a light steadily flashing on the screen of his laptop, harmonious with the agitated alarm. He wanted to smash the offending computer into thousands of pieces for causing such an intrusion but instead clicked angrily at the blinking icon- opening a coded message.

After several moments spent in silence, save the tapping of the laptop's keys, the message was decrypted and displayed across the green glow of the screen.

It's from Trowa, he stated flatly as he scanned over the page of data attached to the short note from the other pilot. Duo noticed Heero's eyes widen thoughtfully as he scrolled through the remainder of the information.

What is it? he asked quietly.

Heero made no move to answer him directly, instead he threw Duo a coat and pulled his own over his tense shoulders. Come on, he said in a low hushed tone. Duo nodded obediently and followed him down dark twisting corridors and into the silent night.

((Thy grace did guide to thine and thee;))

He did not bother asking where they were going. Trowa had obviously sent something of great importance, but none of that really mattered at this moment in time. Heero had hugged him, soothed him and held to him with such desperation. All he could think of was that soft touch and tender voice. Heero truly cared- and that was all that mattered now. He had fallen into the arms of sleep curled against his warmth while his deep calm voice narrated a timeless tale. Sleep beside a blazing live body was something he had before, only been able to dream of. He felt so safe there, free to slumber in Heero's glow- until the nightmares came.

Memories so agonizing, memories seen every time he closed his eyes, torn images of death and destruction- horrors he would not for the world wish on another living being plagued his sleep, torturing his battered soul. Every drop of his heart died to press his lips against Heero's soft skin, but he knew, with a kiss- he would call death to the only thing he had ever loved. Love. Duo had known all along- known what he loved, and sadly, knew he could never have him. Everything dear to him was taken away. His family, Solo, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, Relena- he knew what loving Heero would do, and could not bring himself to make such a sacrifice for only moments of pure heaven.

This is it.



Heero pressed a tender finger to Duo's slightly parted lips, trying to ignore the electricity that bounded from those lips and into his skin he continued in a whisper;

This building used to be a clinic for complicated pregnancies. A woman, possibly Relena's mother, gave birth here to a child with red hair and eyes. Heero's scanned the area as Duo patiently waited for him to continue. No one knows what happened to the baby, but the doctors didn't think it would survive.



It was born too early. They didn't expect her to live through the night.

But she did. It was more of a statement than a question. Heero nodded in response. Why are we here? You said no one knew what happened.

No one bought this place after it closed down. I'm willing to bet all the files on Upir are still locked away somewhere in there. As he spoke, Heero picked the lock of the side door of the musty clinic. Within seconds, they were pussy-footing their way down the dirty linoleum floors of the ancient building. A silence too still attacked the air, ripping and clawing at the shadows and cobwebs in the corners of the long crumbling halls. They crept with a patience and practiced stealth, so close their hands brushed slightly with every movement.

It all happened so fast- first they saw it, the silhouette of a short frail figure hunched over a large gloomy trunk. With reflexes cat-like, the form spun and drew a weapon, hastily squeezing off three rounds and arching a tall back flip over the trunk and through the window behind it.

Bang. Bang. Bang. It was the last thing he heard before the darkness consumed him and he felt his shoulder hit the hardened floor with an intensity all its own. He lie there, deaf to the blood, blind to the cries escaping lips which had long ago forgotten how to feel.

~ooO*Ooo~

He woke on the dreamscape, though waking was not quite the right word for it. A light breeze ruffled the petals of the sakura tree above him, shedding tiny pink petals onto his warm skin and adorning his long chestnut braid with bantam dew drops and pearly leaves. For a moment, he simply lie on his back, staring into the swaying branches of the majestic tree, watching the sun bleed and curl between the sky exposed crevices the wind created with its gentle lullaby. He presently became aware of the indigo eyes watching him from the tall grass surrounding the shade cast by the tree.

It's beautiful, he said, hardly recognizing his own voice as it danced between his lips. I wish-

her fae voice asked from where she lie among the tall wind tousled grass. What is your wish Duo?

I wish it was tangible- beauty that is. I wish I could gather it into a little box and keep it close to my heart. As he spoke, his hands moved to his heart, closing around the delicate cross that lie so close above the beating in his chest. I wish I could love without death.

Is that what you truly believe? You think your love is a poison?

It got you didn't it?

Relena was silent. She pulled slowly to her feet and moved to lie beside Duo beneath the shade of the sky reaching mothering tree. She curled herself beside him, resting her head on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of every breath. You didn't kill me, she whispered. please don't blame yourself.

But I do, he said, running a hand through her honey-blond locks. If I hadn't cared about you- his voice trailed off, hanging like a dying butterfly in the warm scented air.

But you did, and I care for you, and that is not what killed me. Even if it was, I have no regrets.

I do. He stirred slightly beneath her. I couldn't save you. I wasn't there when you needed me.

You're here now, she said quietly. but I am not the one that needs you. Saying this, she sat up and leaned over him slightly, meeting his gaze. You have to go back, before it's too late, you can't stay here now.

I don't want to go back! he cried defiantly. there's nothing for me there. I want to stay here, with you. but Relena shook her head.

Oh, isn't there? You may care, but you don't love me. Remember when I asked you, do you know why I asked? when he remained silent, she continued slowly with a translucent breath of sorrow in her words. I wanted to be sure. I wanted to know you would take care of each other.

I can't go back. I wont hurt him- I wont. His voice was quiet despite the panic and fear swimming within his veins.

I know you wont, said Relena with a sad smile. that is why he needs you. You have to go back to him, you can't leave him now- not with so much at stake.

But I'll kill him.

You still believe that ne? Duo, you are not this death you have so tried to become. The only one you are killing is yourself.

~ooO*Ooo~

Please don't leave me- please, wake up, please. . .

~ooO*Ooo~

You're wrong. It is my fault. Everyone, everything I have ever loved has died or left, or just forgot to stay.

People die, Duo. Nothing is forever, but that doesn't mean you should kill your own heart in a blind attempt to stop the inevitable. The road to peace is washed with blood and loss, but does that mean we should not strive for the purity on the other side? she held his face tightly between her palms, willing him to look through her eyes and understand. Everything dies, but that should not stop you form living.

~ooO*Ooo~

Duo, I- I need you. Please, please wake up. . .

~ooO*Ooo~

My parents, Solo, Father Maxwell- it was all my fault. Don't you see? I *am* Shinigami, I'm a disease. How could I do that to him?

Duo, he loves you! You are the one that can not see! Would you kill your heart and break his because you are afraid he wont be there when you open your eyes?

Afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Yes, yes you are.

~ooO*Ooo~

Why wont you open your eyes?

~ooO*Ooo~

I wont love him, I wont hurt him- I can't. He clutched his hands to the sides of his head, wishing in vain for silence- for peace. I can't. . . I can't do this anymore.

You have to go back. Don't break a heart that is just learning how to feel- how to love. He needs you now. You have to go back.

he shook his head franticly, still clasping his hands to his temples.

God, how can I make you understand! You are not death! You are Duo Maxwell! You have something to live for, you have someone to love, and fight for! Do not be ruled by your own fear, don't let your past ruin a future you can't understand. Just be Duo! her voice lowered to a frail whisper. Just be Duo.

I can't let him bleed for me.

Protect him. Love him, she kissed him tenderly on the forehead, tears sliding down her tanned cheeks. You can save him- and yourself, if you only try. Please try Duo. Try, try, try.

~ooO*Ooo~

Tears- they were so, warm. So liquesent, and almost, magical. He had never cried before, the feeling was frightening at first, then the blazing pearl drops on his cheeks slid down his neck, clinging to the collar of his blood stained coat- tailing down his chin, falling like forgotten prayers onto the motionless eyelids which greedily hid those wondrous violet orbs from the world. He would never cry again. If crying meant he had to feel this agony within his soul then he would rather die, he would rather not feel at all. So weak- so helpless. But he did not care anymore, his heart was breaking.

Please, God- don't take him. . . Open your eyes Duo- please wake up.

He gathered the lifeless form of the only love he had ever known into his trembling arms, hoping that if he only held him tight enough he might be able to save him- give his own life with this closeness. He cursed God, cursed himself for not pushing Duo out of the bullets path in time. His hands were covered in Duo's blood- the blood seemed endless. How could so much blood come from one person? Had blood always been so red? He could not recall it ever having been so alive in battle. Blood had never seemed so hallow. He held him so tightly- wanting to crawl inside of him and die with his last breath- wanting to die in his dead arms, crying tears he had never known.

He- Heero?

He nearly jumped out of his skin as his own name was spoken against his cheek. He released the boy in his arms, tumbling back several feet. And as Duo brew breath, as his eyes opened, Heero was left without words- he thought he might never speak again. He blinked, praying that this was not a dream- hoping his mind was not playing cruel tricks on him.

When Duo spoke his name again, Heero knew it was real- it had to be. He slowly, cautiously, neared the bed in which Duo lie, tangled in the blood soaked sheets. What happened? His voice was so weak, so quiet. It hurt Heero to see him this way- helpless, fragile.

You got shot, whoever it was escaped with any information there might have been. He hardly recognized his own words as he spoke, he sounded like a mission report- no emotion in his voice.

Why are you crying?

((Now, when storms of Fate o'ercast))

It was such an innocent question. Heero pressed his still trembling fingertips against the unfamiliar skin of his own face. When he pulled away, they were shrouded in a warm moist substance. *These are tears?* his mind asked. They looked so harmless- why had he been so afraid of them?

I- I, speaking had never seemed so difficult before. I thought I had lost you.

Now it was Duo's turn to be struck speechless. No one had ever cried for him before. These new emotions- these frightening new emotions tore through him like an ungodly squall. He felt the burning pearl tears forming in his own eyes. *I wont cry,* he told himself. *Boy's don't cry.* But Heero was crying. Heero- the perfect soldier. Heero- the war machine. Heero, the living, breathing, frightened boy. Duo moved without thinking, without feeling the red hot pain tearing through his body. He lowered himself onto the floor beside his trembling companion, wrapping his arms around him with all the strength he could gather.

I'll never leave you. Just promise me- promise we'll never say good bye.

~ooO*Ooo~

He sat bolt-upright in the bed with a scream that tore from the depths of his soul. His entire body shook violently beneath the heavy claustrophobic covers. Breathing heavily, he felt familiar comforting hands embrace him, the sudden movements instantly awakening Trowa. He stroked Quatre's hair, whispering soothing words against his shuddering skin.

It's all right, he promised.

No, it's not, Quatre whispered, finding his voice slowly. Fear still crawling in his words as he clung to Trowa desperately, drawing solace from his strong encircling arms. It's starting- it's all falling apart- and there is nothing we can do to stop it now.

~ooO*Ooo~

I don't understand. You know I'll always be here.

Do I?

Heero supposed that was fair. Before this night he had kept his feelings locked away from all the world. He had never even admitted this love to himself. It was selfish he now thought- perhaps even cowardly. And what if Duo had died? He never would have known. He would have died alone, thinking no one had ever loved him.

I promise you I will never say good bye.

The smallest of smiles played on Duo's lips, pulling Heero deeper into his embrace. He moved so that there noses touched, there mouths a mere inch apart. Thank you, he whispered so close to Heero's lips before capturing them in the softest most delicate kiss. After seconds he wished could have been eternity, he pulled away from his first kiss. The fierce burning of his wounds had returned ten-fold, biting, tearing, clawing at his skin with hellish fire. He tried to smile, if only for Heero's sake but it was no use- he slipped again into a dark unconsciousness.



Heero scarcely left Duo's side for the rest of the week, tearing himself from that warm smile only long enough to make excuses pertaining to their absences, and talk one of the servants into getting his hands on some food and medical equipment for his fallen companion. Grey, the small servant boy was all too happy to help his new friend.

Will you read to me?

Sharing these stories quickly became a sought after time of day for both pilots. They would lie together, Duo usually cuddled against Heero while he read tales and poetry with his strong soothing voice.


It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.


I like this girl, she knows exactly what she wants, Duo said with a faint smile. do you ever wonder what that's like? To live a simple kind of life?

Heero nodded. But as long as there are people who want war, my place is on the battlefield. Duo frowned at this, but none the less, understood. As long as war raged outside- until there was peace at last, he would not feel right about giving up his fight to play house with Heero. His conscience would never allow such a selfish move.


I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee-
With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.


Do you think the angels covet us? Duo asked, turning to look into Heero's beautiful eyes, endlessly transfixed by the love he now saw in those once cold eyes- love for *him* and no one else.

Heero replied, placing a kiss on the tip of Duo's nose, earning himself a quiet blush and big sincere smile.


And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.


I don't think I like this one anymore, Duo said with the tone of a disappointed child as the last lines of the poem still hung in the air. love shouldn't be taken for granted like that, and the angels should know better. Heero could not help but smile slightly as Duo pouted over the separation of fictitious lovers.

All the great love stories are tragic, said Heero. Romeo and Juliet, The Little Sea Maid, Swan Lake-

Edward Scissors Hands? Duo interrupted playfully.

Heero smiled again. I suppose, he said, ruffling Duo's hair. Love is about sacrifice, and selflessness. It's the purest most innocent of emotions. But sometimes, you have to lose what you treasure to know you even had it. He waited several moments for a response before realizing Duo had fallen asleep in his arms, visions of angels with pristine wings greedily clutching him, pulling him away from Heero.

~ooO*Ooo~

Something is seriously wrong, we haven't heard from Heero in more than three days, this just isn't like him.

Perhaps he and Maxwell are enjoying a romantic getaway, Wufei suggested with a smugness all his own, but Quatre did not seem amused.

He hasn't contacted us since they went to investigate that old hospital, said Quatre with concern bleeding from every word. what if something happened?

They're big boys Quatre, I'm sure they can take care of themselves. Wufei and Trowa continued their game of chess as Quatre continued to voice small concerns. Although they all found it odd, not hearing from Heero for several days- they also did not find reason to jump to any rash conclusions. Wufei interjected after a few moments silence. those two could use some time alone. Wufei smirked at his own remark. Seems he had known about those two before they had even admitted it to themselves. He and Duo had become friends, despite Duo's annoying persistent happiness, and his own cold exterior. Wufei had a way of reading people, and those two had been as easy as see spot run they wore there emotions plainly, though perhaps no normal human eye could see it. Wufei only congratulated himself further as Quatre fell silent and Trowa's lips worked a tiny smile of their own.

~ooO*Ooo~

Something's not right, Heero said aloud though he knew there was no one to hear his words. Duo had been sleeping soundly for the last two hours and Heero had decided to check over their mission description and update the other pilots, but something was tugging at the corners of his mind. He had tried to contact Trowa after Duo had been shot, requesting that he, or one of the other pilots might take over for him- but he had not heard back. That was unlike Trowa, he thought to himself. Trowa had always been prompt in his replies, he had always been the reliable one.

After more thinking aloud, and several system diagnostics, Heero rose from the hard uncomfortable chair and stretched his sore limbs. He decided to wait until Duo woke before looking into this further. Perhaps the other pilots had all been called away on missions of their own- Heero pushed the thoughts from his mind. His body ached for sleep and Duo's warm embrace seemed ever so inviting.

Then it hit him. Jumping from the bed, and waking Duo in the process, Heero was back at his laptop- typing away feverishly.

Duo moaned and covered his eyes with his hands. Good morning to you too, he mumbled sarcastically before rolling onto his side, watching Heero's fingers tap rapidly at the keys. Then he stopped- just staring at the glowing screen. what's wrong?

Someone has hacked into my laptop, At this, Duo's jaw dropped. Heero's computer had been impenetrable even to him, who as it had turned out was quite a genius when it came to such mechanical things. they've stopped all communication- in and out. Heero returned to his typing, leaving Duo to fathom a hacker superior to his partner.

Heero cursed himself for not detecting the virus, and for not checking for that first. Their cover had been blown, but the enemy was biding its time. Why? If they knew- Heero's thoughts were interrupted by a shrill frantic knocking on the door.

Inan! Inan! a little accented voice called from the other side.

Duo asked sleepily, still not quite recovered from his injuries and left grumpy by the odd awakening Heero had given him.

Yes, Inan! Come quick! Please, the little voice pleaded.

Wh- what's going' on? Duo asked, noticing Heero tuck a gun against the small of his back. *This isn't good,* his mind whispered. But there was no time for doubts.

No time to explain! Grey cried, Please! You have to come with me!

Duo looked over his shoulder at Heero, asking silently for his take on the situation. When Heero nodded once, Duo pulled himself to his feet, still shaky beneath his weight, and stumbled to the door, pulling it open to reveal a very disheveled and frightened looking boy.

Come on! he cried, sprinting down the hallway without allowing Duo to inquire of their destination. Duo followed reluctantly, slightly calmed by the feel of Heero's quiet presence following in the shadows behind him.

~ooO*Ooo~

Awaken, koneko- all the players are in place.

The strong hands of the quiet one slid down her back, sending a nipping chill up her spine. Hands so soft, yet stained- hands that held the world in their dark embrace, toying with the mouse-like peoples as would a wicked cat. Callused fire bitten fingertips played along her neck as a gentle kiss traced along her jawbone.

((Darkly my Present and my Past,))

Dorothy rolled onto her back, tuning cloud-blue eyes on the form above her. A tiny smile pulled at the corners of her lips as another soft kiss landed upon her throat. She gathered the silken sheets around herself and made to stand but was pinned by an ominous hand.

How do you propose we win this battle if you wont even let me out of bed? Dorothy chided playfully with narrowed eyes and a venomous smile. The light cast by dancing flames of the nearby candles flicked across her skin, delighting in the curves and shadows of her slender body.

The other's hand moved to caress her cheek, drawing along her collar bones with practiced grace. Ah, but this is where I want you, said the intoxicating voice of her quiet lover, the milky tone wrapping round the quiet blaze of ignited wicks. there was a soft nip at her earlobe before the other continued. no one can defeat us. We are gods among mice.

Are you always so sure of everything?

Always, koneko.

~ooO*Ooo~

Where are we going Grey? What the hell is going on? Duo strained to keep up with the frantic young boy though in his current state it was easier said than done. For all his questions he was met with only silence, the labored breathing of the small boy, and the reassurance of Heero- prowling the darkness behind them. He could tell Heero was tense and uncertain, he nearly blew his own cover while carelessly knocking against an old suit of armour displayed along one endless hall or another. Duo's mind was racing, filled with curiosity owed to the strange behavior of his little friend, and the nearly clumsy way in which Heero was carrying himself- something had gotten under their skin and Duo was left to mutely fathom what might have unnerved each of them to this extent.

Perhaps it was lack of sleep, malnutrition, or even blood loss, but Duo's thoughts seemed to be leading him in circles. Something terrible had defiantly happened- that explained Grey's hurried cries for assistance, but he failed to see how or why it warranted his presence. In the grand scheme of things he was nothing more than a simple foot soldier, a nameless guard among countless faceless guards in the Sanc Kingdom. Then there was Heero's seemingly stealth-less performance behind him. There was an unsettling feeling deep inside of him, something he could not express in words or actions and Heero being apparently oblivious to the consequences of his rather *loud* actions was not helping matters much. Though grateful for the watchful trained eye of his partner, almost like a guardian angel- Duo grew anxious and paranoid, if either of them were discovered roaming the palace at such a late hour with little purpose the guards would certainly have their heads. Then it hit him, like a well placed missile from a mobile doll- there were no guards patrolling the dark corridors, no looming or intimidating protecters of her majesty.

*This is not good-* his mind repeated over and over until the words ceased to make sense. The castle was quiet- eerily so. Too still, too dead. That began to explain Heero's careless noises, he was testing them, trying to draw any sign of life from the hushed passage ways and absent hunters. Duo mentally smacked himself- Heero was never clumsy, never anything but the perfect soldier. Every move, every word and decision was planed and scrutinized by that perfect brain of his. Nothing came from Heero without purpose, without a deeper meaning, without some tactical advantage earned.

*Well,* he chided himself. *That explains half of it.* Though Grey's behavior was still lost on him. He could not imagine what could have called away all the self riotous guards and put such a desperation in Grey's manner. His mind played out several scenarios- perhaps something had happened to Upir, or the kingdom was under attack again, or Dorothy had finally snapped, and eaten half of the army alive- The latter, though highly unlikely, seemed to be the thought to get the most attention, he had never trusted the golden-haired vixen, and her involvement in the sudden scare was definite.

The whole thing, the mission, the kingdom, the princess, it all felt wrong to him. There was something in the shadows, some frightened drown out whisper, some bewildered cry though the night, something inside of him that had known all along- known he was faced with an enemy of pure darkness. An enemy he might not be strong enough to battle himself, but then again, he was not alone anymore- he had his guardian angel, his Heero.

~ooO*Ooo~

And what will Upir tell the nation?

Exactly what they want to hear. Have faith koneko, human beings are blinded by their own selfish and petty desires. The people want peace, they want to live their pathetic lives day upon day in a clouded yet blissful ignorance. They will believe all that they are told if it leaves their own daily regiments untouched.

Dorothy brushed a stray hair away from her eyes, searching the eyes of her companion for some sense of truth. She saw her own bloodthirsty depths mirrored in those quiet reds- her own lost self, and a shimmer of something warm, something that soothed and whispered tiny meaningless words that meant life itself when dancing through the air. She bit back a sincere smile as she thought it might be love- an emotion she never dreamed might be bestowed upon her or even reciprocated. Love was still much of a mystery- one she mused might soon be known to her. Hastily, she cast such pointless fantasies from her mind and concentrated fully on the upcoming battle. The time was at hand, but she never thought she would feel so curiously reluctant. Upir's throne had been secured, the quiet one had blood to bathe within, but when the battle was over- when the war was won- Dorothy still had no home to return to.

~ooO*Ooo~

Relena shuddered as the sun set on her dreamscape. Sinking below the glistening waters of the horizon the dying sun had never before looked so tragic, and a land which had never known darkness felt the agonies of the deepest night.

It's up to you now, Duo. As she spoke, an unholy wind ripped through the branches of her sakura tree, scattering fragile pink petals across the star less skies. Please, don't be defeated- please be strong. . .

~ooO*Ooo~

By the time they reached the tall elegant doors of the throne room, Duo was breathing heavily and holding a shaky hand to his recently wrought wound. He felt as though he might collapse, and frankly, welcomed the idea of getting some rest- even pain induced.

Grey had not said a word as they traced their way through sinuous halls and past vacated guard posts, Heero always a step and a shadow behind. Grey had either not caught onto his presence or had not cared- he seemed rather involved in his own feverish thoughts as he led the way to these mahogany carved doors, doors which led one way or another to the enemy and the future.

As Grey labored to push the tall doors aside, Duo held his breath- suddenly afraid of what might reside beyond the narrow threshold. At first his eyes were greeted only by the darkness of the mute throne room, but as his pupils adjusted to the lack of lighting he could see the frail outlines of a figure upon the gold and crimson throne. He turned to demand some answers from the frightened serving boy only to find him gone, disappeared like breath into the wind.

So, we meet at last, Duo Maxwell.



part four: the bells

Who are you? Duo asked the figure loved by darkness. It was a silly question really, when he thought about it. Here was a suspicious presence in Sanc's throne who knew his name and all he could think to inquire was the identity of this mysterious and seemingly unwelcome phantom. He supposed it was a valid question, but with all that had happened in this night, What the hell is going on?' seemed a little more appropriate.

The shadow clad form at first made no move to answer him- then in a quiet, scarcely audible voice said; I am a god among mice.

A little full of yourself ne? Duo said, placing his hands on his hips. *Smilin' and sarcastic till the end.* his mind scolded. *You're gonna get yourself in so much more trouble than ya bargained for.* But he could not help it, jokes and smiles were something of a defense mechanism for the young American.

Soft laughter bit through the air, cascading across the dead wake between the two unmoving figures. It was a cold laugh, a sound made by the heartless and the dead, a sound he would never forget- a sound that came from inhuman murderers, a sound which had destroyed the only home he had ever known, and haunted him every time silence pressed too heavily against him.

He could no longer sense Heero, he felt suddenly alone as his hand moved to twine around the silver cross resting round his neck.

What do you know of gods, Duo Maxwell, or rather- Shinigami, the dark stranger whispered in a delicate purr. what has your god ever done for his people?

Just because god isn't handing out miracles, he began, confused as to why he was answering such an odd question. that doesn't mean he doesn't care- what would the point in living be if everything was handed to us on a silver platter?

the ominous one commented softly. is that how you've come to accept the hand fate has dealt you? A rhythmic sound tore the air, a sound like the tick of a clock, or the clink of chains- shackles. And fate, it seems, has not dealt you the best of hands.

A thin trickle of candle light, like the thread of a spider crept along the tall elegant walls, casting little shadows across ruby and violet eyes. Duo caught the slightest of illuminated glimpses at this vermin god. Tall, slender, yet with an air of strength- an aura of power and feral grace bled from the dark appirition. A long, thick braid swayed over one shoulder and past the waist, much like Duo's though it had the threatening appearance of some ancient and holy weapon. The figure was clad in a thin fabric of a darkest shade, adorned with bantam shimmering ribbon.

As the light danced across the figure, Duo was suddenly aware of another presence in the midnight chamber. A harsh chill bit at his spine, running through his entire body with a cold intensity. Golden tresses caught in an invisible breeze behind the sun-starved body upon the throne. A familiar shape took to the light, drinking it like a cat in the warmth cast by morning windows.

*Why am I not surprised?* he nearly laughed as flames caught in the nail-blue eyes of Dorothy Catalonia. But as unnerving as her presence was, more so was the shadow of a bound figure behind her. She smiled her heartless smile as she noticed the direction of Duo's stare.

she said, with a ghost of pleased laughter. I see you've recognized our trophy boy.

Duo felt an agony pour through him, stronger than any pain he had ever known. He thought his heart was breaking. Breath, movement, thought- all fled him as he caught a glimpse of tortured prussian blues beneath shackles and blood.



Sadistic laughter bore into the still air once more as Duo fell to his knees. Dorothy's malicious grin grew, revealing pristine dagger sharp teeth. So, you two have met before? she said, sarcasm dripping from harshly spoken words. She drew a thin dagger from her boot, casting shadows from the folds of her crimson gown with every movement. The thin blade caught the light of the candles like a venus fly trap, greedily draining the luminous golds from each flame, glinting a small victory and lusting after droplets of blood promised by its possessor.

Tell me, Duo Maxwell, did you truly believe you could defeat us? Within her cold finger's grasp, the dagger began to trace bantam unidentifiable designs through the air- reveling in the ecstasy and anticipation of feeding. Then, with a sound embodied of hell itself, the hungry blade sank vampiric teeth into the soft flesh of her captive.

Duo was on his feet before he even registered the command. He charged blindly in the direction of that pitiless broken sound- a sound he had known on the battlefield, in his memories- and nightmares. A sound which alerted one to the spilling of blood, the pain of wounds, and the knowledge that you were powerless against your attacker- the sound of torn flesh. He had moved scarcely ten feet when an iron strong hand closed around the top of his braid, tilting his eyes skyward and dragging his body back onto his knees. He hardly had time to cry out.

Do not try to be valiant, a quiet voice purred into his ear, so close he could feel the warmth of breath and smell the other's perfumed hair.

Let him go, Duo whispered through clenched teeth as the hold on his braid tightened, forcing his eyes to meet those of the hunter. *Red eyes-*

At this, the other laughed quietly. Only a puppet- and I am the puppet master.

Who are you?

I am Bast, little one. He felt the moist breath on the back of his neck as the quiet one continued. Do you know how Upir came to be my child? Do you know the things that haunt her in the night?

Duo remained silent, running a finger across the knife concealed in his waist band. He calculated his chances- he could not make a rash attack towards freedom while Dorothy still held Heero at the end of her thirsty blade, and so he bided his time- listening to the tale the quiet one began to weave.

Do you know why the Peacecrafts never told the world of this daughter? Why they cast her to the wolves and never looked back? Why the people hold no records of Upir Peacecraft?

he choked out, still fighting slightly against the hand on his braid.

Lady Peacecraft was a beautiful woman. Like the stars before dawn, shimmering and pristine- an angel in this decaying world. That is why he wanted her, the softly spoken words clung to the darkness like a lifeline, soaking each sound in the shadows of those ruby eyes. he used to watch her from the branches of the willows beside her window, satisfied simply to watch- until he was born.

Duo listened intently, searching each word for an opportunity- a chance to act, to fight, to escape. Bast kept him still with this vampire hold, it seemed to drain his strength- bleed him dry. From where this gauntlet held him he saw nothing but the dance of the shadows and the moon lit panes of stained glass above him. He wanted to see Heero, draw courage from his deep soothing eyes- anything but this hand on his neck, and heavenly scene of the star kissed painted window.

He wanted to die that night, when Milliardo Peacecraft curled into the hearts of mother and father. He wanted to hold her heart that way- he loathed the way this child strengthened the bonds between, the love she felt for Lord Peacecraft. He wanted her to love him that way. The voice dropped to the faintest of whispers- lips pressing gently against the lobe of his ear. But then he thought to himself; Owen, Owen, she can love you that way. With a child, she will love you.

When he took her, he wanted to hear her call his name, promise eternal love- but she never made a sound. She did not cry out, in pleasure, pain or fear. Strangely calm, serene and accepting. He though if they were a family she would love him with the same look in her eyes, the same smile only Lord Peacecraft ever saw. He had never been more wrong.

Peacecraft had him hunted down like an animal, tortured, bled, and silenced all in the name of pacifism. In the name of his wife who carried a child who she could never love. A child like a disease that sets in and feeds upon itself. She hadn't the heart to destroy the child. Could not abort a living creature with no control over exactly how it came to be.

She spared the life of this child, this abomination, but could not look at her- the fragile infant with the same red eyes as her unwelcome father.

She was raped, Duo said, more to himself than to the other. that's why they never told anyone about the baby.

Yes, the child was left in that filthy hospital to die. They never dreamed she would live through the night. But the midwife, Guin Billie, knew the Peacecrafts denounced this tainted babe, this innocent child- they never gave her a chance.

Guin recorded the story Lady Peacecraft had confided in her, scribed in a tiny leather journal. She took the frail child into her home, raised her like her own blood, her own daughter.

A fragmented thought scraped the surface of Duo's squalling conciseness. *Billie.* He remembered the name from some distant place he could not quite recall. The puzzle was beginning to take shape- it was beginning to make sense. *That's why they never say she's really a Peacecraft- daughter of the throne, missing heir, but never Lord Peacecraft's blood because she wasn't- only her mother's blood gave her claim.* Duo tried again without success to loosen this vice like grip and find Heero's eyes with his own. He wanted to lose himself in those eyes and find this all just a bad dream.

She lived with Guin and her husband all of her childhood, they became her mother and her father and soon, she had a tiny brother of her own. One to protect and look after, a true family, just for her.

Her parents worked for the Peacecrafts, servants to the grand pacifist family. Upir and her tiny brother were schooled in the ways of peasant and noble all their lives. Her manners, her grace, her softly spoken comforts, all burned into her from an early age. Were it not for her eyes- had she not the need to remain hidden, she might have been a fine addition to Peacecraft's staff, but Guin knew better. She knew those eyes betrayed her, and so, Upir lived her life in the shadows of the palace. They never even knew she existed- even right under their noses.

When her parents died, the mystery surrounding her birth, the reason behind her seclusion became known to her- by that little leather binding Guin had inked the truth within, and a little salvation. Her eyes were at last opened, truly opened, in the winter of this past year.

Do you know what it is like to live a simple life? To have a family that loves you, a home that shelters, something to live for- to live in. Do you know what it's like to have it all taken away? To awaken to dead parents, a crying child, and the realization that no one- not even your own blood wanted you?

Sorry to interrupt, Duo scoffed, pulling against the hand on his braid. but how do you fit into this tale? When does it all come back to you?

said Bast with a hushed and hungry smile, trailing hands from braid to throat. Duo instantly regretted his inquiry as those frigid hands closed lightly, yet with the threat of fathomless strength around his neck. I am nothing more than a phantom. I am a shadow in Upir's eyes, the darkness in her soul. She rules her lost kingdom with grace and compassion, I rule her, sadly, with pain and fear. The people love her with hearts of gold while the soldiers respect me with wills of iron. We are two parts of a whole- the yin and the yang- completion.

You're controlling her.

Oh, but it is so much more than that.

I don't understand,

How could you? The quiet one moved to stand before him, keeping agile and ready fingertips dancing along the smooth skin of Duo's throat- ruby eyes piercing violets with the darkest of feral stares. I have become so much more than your god, more than you could ever hope to be. I have it all.

No, you don't.

Before Bast had time to silence him, Duo drew the knife from his waist band. Turning with cat-like reflexes, he buried the white hot blade beneath the flesh of his captor. He expected a scream- a desperate plea, or move to stop the flow of crimson life spilling over the folds of plum-colored silks and pale jutting collar bones. But there was nothing- deafening silence, and he lingered a moment too long. He left Bast mesmerized by the blood and ran with speed he had never known to where Dorothy held his Heero- but he was too late.



Dorothy's breath caught in her throat as she watched helplessly- the dagger tearing through her lover's flesh, blinded by the sound of the wound. Without thinking, without words or tears she raised her own blade. The rush of the kill, the scent of the hurt, the feel of the battle took over- her blood-lusting side drown out her other, the soldier within her acted without hesitation, plunging diamond hard steel into the side of her shackled companion. He cried out once, only once as the teeth found his insides. She wanted him to scream, beg for his life. She wanted to break him. She wanted to taste his tears and feel the life flea his tattered form. She wanted him to pay- pay dearly- with his very life for the pain his confidant had caused her own. She could feel his strength draining now as he leaned against her slightly. She let him slip, hitting the ground with a harsh crack as the chains kept him from trying to soften the fall.

Slowly- with trained grace and calm, Dorothy crossed the marbled floors to where Bast knelt in a pool of blood once held within hallow veins. She gathered her lover into her arms, applying pressure to the wound along the once beautiful and strong hollow of Bast's neck. This is not over, she breathed quietly before disappearing into the darkness.


Duo was deaf to Dorothy's whispered threat. He reached Heero's side as those icy words escaped colder lips, but he was lost to it all.



Silence- only silence.

He checked frantically for a pulse, and though found one it was so weak, too soft and fleeting. he cried, forgetting calm and composure. Somebody help me! His hands searched blindly over Heero's form in the faint candle's light, trying to find his wound- cursing himself for his failed attempt at heroism. He might as well have buried the dagger in Heero's flesh himself for all the good his rash actions had done.

His trembling fingers found at last the warm rivulets of blood escaping Heero's side. He pressed his hands against the long cut with all the strength he could gather, but it was not enough. The thick, hot blood forced its way past his fingers, soaking through the sleeves of his shirt and dancing a morbid waltz along his own unharmed skin.

No- Heero. . . I'm sorry- I. . . Please, please don't die Heero. You can't leave me- you promised we would never say good bye- you promised!

He warped his arms around the motionless form of the only one he had ever loved. He swallowed the hurt, the fear, the anger, replacing them with a silent prayer.

At morn- at noon- at twilight dim- Maria, thou hast heard my hymn. In joy and wo- in good and ill- Mother of God, be with me still. . .

~ooO*Ooo~

He knew he was dreaming. He knew by the warmth and beauty around him that this wondrous place could not possibly be real. He watched new born clouds twirl in a light summer breeze, along with the translucent pink petals of the sakura tree. He lost himself in the feel of the soft wind lulled grass beneath him and the kiss of sunlight on his cold skin. Some tiny part of him wondered if he was dead, if this magnificent place was in fact heaven, though the more rational part of his mind reminded him if he was dead- heaven would not have been his destination.

It was breathtaking- the serene indigo gleam of the waters, the sway of nature upon the shore, and the pure innocent shimmer of the sky. He was afraid if he so much as blinked, this beautiful vision might flee, run back into the sacred hearts of eternity. He never wanted to leave this holy place- this lush and free place. He wanted to sleep within the shade of the wise old trees, swim in the clear and untainted water of the warm sun dappled lake where he could finally be at peace.

Is that really what you want? Absorbed in his dreaming, he had not heard the quiet approach of the slight blue-eyed girl. She stood behind the trunk of the majestic tree, watching him with ever so sad indigo eyes.

I'm dead, aren't I? he asked, his voice void of emotion.

No, not yet.

I wanted to die, he said in a hushed broken tone. I want it to be over.

I don't believe you.

You of all people should understand, he said, pulling his tired limbs into a sitting position and turning to face her. You always tried to stop me. I knew it wouldn't be long after you died. I knew my turn was coming.

You have someone to live for now. You made a promise Heero. She left her vigil behind the sakura to sit beside him in the tall grass. You can't stay here.

He looked away from those somber bright eyes. He could not face her this way. Part of him did not want to go back- wanted to stay in this magical place and forget war, blood and death. Forget Shinigami. He wanted to curl up in the sunlight and know nothing but tranquility and warmth. *Duo-* he wanted Duo. This realization was frightening and lovely all at once. The Perfect Soldier had found someone to fight for.

((Let my Future radiant shine))

~ooO*Ooo~

His eyes opened slowly, each movement more painful than the last. The afternoon sun spilled languidly through an opened window beside him, warming his skin and filling the sterile hospital room with the scents of nature and serenity. He savored each breath, filling his lungs with the blessed tastes of living air. His still aching eyes searched across the blank walls and window panes until they found a familiar form, clad in black and nervously toying with the end of its chestnut braid.



The said pilot nearly jumped out of his skin. He spun from his place in the hard and uncomfortable hospital chair, not trusting his ears as his name was whispered into the heavy air of the disinfectant scented chamber. With few hasty strides of long muscular legs Duo was kneeling beside the crisp medical issue bed where his fallen love lied, with hazy diluted pain in his prussian eyes.

he spoke the other's name as though merely saying it made him real. He ran hesitant fingers through dark unkempt hair, lingering slightly as his hand found the soft cheek of the only man that mattered now.

I feel like shit, said Heero through a ragged cough.

Duo commented quietly. you are a sight in intervenes accessories. His uneasy laugh was drown by the steady beep of the heart monitor beside him. It hurt him to see Heero this way- just as fragile as he was, with machines stealing the musical rhythm of his heart and twisting it into the hollow mechanical whisper of medical technology. I'm so sorry, he whispered with downcast eyes. it was my fault- if I hadn't-

Heero raised a hand to Duo's forehead, brushing stray hairs away from those beautiful violet eyes. it's all right, I'm fine. Duo's eyes remained averted though he leaned into Heero's comforting touch. When silence set in between them Heero closed his eyes and asked simply; What happened?

I made a stupid move, tried to play the knight, nearly got you killed, and let Bast and Dorothy get away. That's about it. Duo shifted slightly, reopening guilty wounds.

And the mission?

Aborted. Without any evidence against Upir, or the kingdom they feel our time is better spent destroying tangible enemies.



I know I blew it, Duo said, not daring to look into Heero's magnificent blue eyes as he spoke. I'm sorry.

Heero placed a strong hand beneath Duo's chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. It wasn't your fault, he said in a tone resembling that of comfort, reassurance and the want to soothe. I would have done the same thing.

Liar. You tend to look before you leap. I'm more of a *look while I'm leaping* kinda guy, usually gets me into trouble. Duo tried to smile, or even laugh at himself but the hurt was still too deep. I almost lost you- I almost got you killed. I can't forgive myself, even if you can.

Commanding all the illusive strength he could, Heero gathered Duo into his arms- trapping him in an embrace he willed never to end. He wished his touch could communicate, idly hoping closeness could show him all the words that could not come close to expressing the feelings within him. He settled instead for a feather soft kiss and whispered Ai shiteru.

~ooO*Ooo~

So then, it's happily ever after now?

Not quite, he reminded her from his place among the tall wind tousled blades of emerald grass. From where he lied, he could see little more than her feet dangling from a high branch of the sakura tree. Bast is still out there somewhere.

Biding time I presume, said Relena with a quiet sigh. but let's not dwell on such things. Can we just play at happily ever after?

Laughing softly he promised; Anything you want, ojosan.



He shielded his eyes against the sun, squinting to see her through the swaying branches of the old tree, but she remained hidden by the smoke-colored bark and delicate pink petals.

What do you think about reincarnation? He could feel the anxiety in her words, the doubt not quite concealed by her diplomatic tone. I mean- what would you think about me being reincarnated?

How long has this been an option?

Since the beginning, she said in a whisper. don't be angry with me, I- I always thought death was forever. I was scared to go back. I can't be sure of how I'll come back, or if I'll retain any of my memories, but-

It's up to you Relena, I don't wanna pressure you but I sure as hell want you to come back.

Slowly, she climbed down from the handsome tree and sat beside him in the lush grass. Even if I found you again, you might not recognize me. What then?

I'll always recognize you, Relena you're the only person who knows me completely. We'll always find each other.

Kindred spirits, she whispered with a sincere smile. but what about your soul mate? He doesn't know your everything?

Not yet, but we've plenty of time for that. He could hardly repress the enormous grin tugging at the corners of his lips. One question though, he insisted, rising to a sitting position so he might look her in the eyes. How was all of this possible? Why am I able to see you this way?

Are you complaining?

No, just curious.

Relena remained still a moment, obviously contemplating how to word her answer best. Some time past before she ventured an explanation. You call yourself the God of Death, Shinigami- and I suppose it's not entirely true but, you know death- you know him like a lover, it makes you venerable to other's suffering and at the same time, opens you to the lost. I know it doesn't make much sense- not now anyway but I guess the simplest way to say it is; you are loved by death, so he tells you his secrets.

~ooO*Ooo~

Merry Christmas Duo.

His eyes opened slowly, all to aware of the bright December light reflecting off the crisp snow outside. His sleepy violet gaze was met by the truest of love mirrored within the prussian starring back, the smallest of secret smiles playing on Heero's features.

Merry Christmas. He arched his back slightly, raising enough to place a tiny winter's kiss on those smiling lips. He would have been content to snuggle deep within the warm thick blankets of the jade-colored bed with the love of his life, but Heero it seemed, had other plans.

There's something I want to show you, he said, with a devious little grin one usually found on Duo. Pulling on his coat, and his reluctant koi out of bed, he made his way through the twisting cobble stone streets of the humble city and to a small yet glorious, and cozy little park. Close your eyes.

Duo did as he was told, and Heero took his hand, leading him into the heart of the tiny park. Snow clung like leaves to every branch of each willow and sakura, whispering tales of love and peace, laughter and fondly spoken words hung in the cool air, lifting spirits and soothing wounds. They stopped suddenly, Duo fiercely fighting off the urge to peek.

You can open your eyes now, Heero whispered softly, releasing Duo's hand.

The sight that greeted those violet orbs made him want to cry- not tears of loss and anguish which he had known so many times before, but tears of joy and love. Before him, in a small snow adorned clearing stoop a sculpted angel with pristine wings and a long wind caught braid which seemed to flow and dance around this angel without having to move at all. Beneath the angel carved in pearly white marble read;

Maxwell Park, dedicated to the memory of Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. followed by a little prayer Duo knew by heart.

At morn- at noon- at twilight dim-
Maria! thou hast heard my hymn!
In joy and wo- in good and ill-
Mother of God, be with me still!
When the hours flew brightly by,
And not a cloud obscured the sky,
My soul, lest it should truant be,
Thy grace did guide to thine and thee;
Now, when storms of fate o'ercast
Darkly my Present and my Past,
Let my Future radiant shine
With sweet hopes of thee and thine.

Duo placed a hand over his mouth, fighting back tears he knew would soon escape. He reached to caress the small prayer etched in marble, Oh, Heero- he wanted to say more, he wanted to thank him and smother him in kisses but the angel eyes held his own, and he knew for the first time in his life that he was not alone. He felt strong arms encircle his waist from behind, and a soft deep voice whispered into his ear;

You like it?

I- I love it. I love you, Heero.

And as he turned around in this embrace to kiss his soul mate with a passion neither of them had ever know before, he did not notice the honey-blond kitten with the big indigo gaze perched in a low branch of a sakura tree, watching their kiss with her kitty-cat smile, and translucent tears in her big ocean eyes.

~ooO* the end *Ooo~