III
Sonnet- Silence
The silver moon was alive with an ethereal glow of somber tears and death. Shadows rose and fell like earth-bound ghosts along the dew enshrouded panes of the long gothic windows and the smooth cold walls of this majestic palace. Night was a splendid thing to a being such as Dorothy Catalonia. Night was the translucent embodiment of all lying dormant within her. Darkness. Loneliness. And this moon, this crimson waning moon, reflected perfectly in her frozen eyes, was alive.
She could smell the blood in the air.
It was a metallic smell- something subtle but unmistakable. The scent of death. She had long ago become accustom to the invisible taste this dying blood formed on her tongue, and the tiny chills which bit at her spine as her senses recognized such a taste, but it never ceased to thrill her. Born and bred for the hunt- the kill. A being such as Dorothy Catalonia was in her element on a night like this.
It was the triumph- the satisfaction. Victory.
She found herself unable to deny this simple fact. She was the hunt. Every drop of her trained and beaten body ached to give chase to the smallest and most insignificant of prey. Artimis, Greek Goddess of the hunt, must have felt quite the same. When all you have known is this blood lust, you do little more than comply with its wishes. And when fed habitually- lust grew to addiction, to life-force, to everything. Lust simply was not enough anymore.
The air was soaked in blood this night.
This night would come to be know as the first of a new era, of a new life. Dorothy could feel the revolution in this gore tainted air, the dead, thrilling air. Everything seemed new tonight. The Earth itself seemed to fill and burst with a sort of hunger and yearning for destruction and battle. Mankind needed this War- a War to rival all Wars. Dorothy Catalonia needed a War.
~o00o~
You're controlling her.
Oh, but it is so much more than that.
I don't understand,
How could you?
~o00o~
Duo, what's going on? Heero's patience was wearing thin- and Duo had become as startled and speechless as Heero had been when the other pilot had some moments prior, taken up residence in his lap. a commanding tone- reserved for times like this.
Duo did little more than breath, and turn the screen of the laptop towards Heero's sights.
Holly shit. It was now Heero's turn to utter the phrase. He reached around Duo, typing hastily at the yielding keys of his computer. How could I have missed this? This can't be happening again. It was the same- too similar to be brushed aside as coincidence.
Fool me once, shame on you, Duo whispered with a twisted sarcastic kind of smile. fool me twice. . . shame on me. His smile faded to an ill looking expression of self loathing and misplaced guilt. Red-eyed fucker fooled us again.
This is impossible- Heero spoke more to himself at this point, gaze still fixed on the glow and scrolling information displayed by his laptop. How. . ? Confusion and frustration kept him from completing the articulation of another coherent thought. This left him with nothing but trained responses and the anger of a soldier scorned.
The whole thing has been orchestrated perfectly. Their was no mission to the Sanc Kingdom. The Doctors never even contacted us.
We have to tell Quatre and Trowa. Heero's more human senses were returning slowly though his mind could still not comprehend how the vermin had broken through again. He wrote a hasty message, reading merely; 03, security has been compromised. Report in immediately. 01. which he then encoded and sent through a guarded line he hoped had not been compromised as well.
~o00o~
You can't win, you must know that.
Aa, but I already have.
~o00o~
Silence was like an old friend. A feeling, or rather- lack of, which he had become aquatinted with far too long ago. The stillness, the heavy air- things all too familiar. Growing up among mercenaries, never knowing who you really are, Silence is the only one you can count on to be there- in the dead of night, in the pre-dawn hours, or through an entire day. Silence was as much his comrade as was his mobile suit. But here, in this dark old hotel room, Silence was as unwelcome as a regiment of enemy soldiers.
(And never a flake, That the vapor can make)
Trowa had always been a quiet person. Withdrawn, sometimes even hostile towards other individuals. Since childhood he had been trained- a nameless soldier. And now, now that he had let someone get close, even given him his heart- now Silence and solitude did not suit him. He missed Quatre more than he had thought possible. Days had passed without him. Without a phone call, or an e-mail, without a whisper.
It was not like Quatre to be so distant. Even when on a mission he had always made time to type a quick message or make an even quicker call, just to tell Trowa that he loved, and missed him, and that he was all right. Quatre had been anything but distant. There was this dull crying pain in Trowa's heart, as well as a biting worry in the back of his mind. He hoped more than anything that Iria would recover and Quatre would come back to him soon. It was selfish, he knew that- to wish health on another so that his lover would come home.
A shrill hollow sound emanated from his laptop, shattering the silence and filling the still room with the harsh noise of an incoming message.
03, security has been compromised. Report in immediately. 01.
He wrote a quick message back, inquiring about the breech, and summarizing the progress of the mission, including Quatre's absence. He stayed by the computer, knowing Heero would be more than punctual with another order.
~o00o~
Why are you doing this?
You disappoint me.
That's not an answer.
~o00o~
Shame.
Of all emotions, Shame was most potent, the most unforgiving. Love, anger, compassion, hate- all paled when felt next to a shame like this.
She tried to ignore it- that gnawing feeling within her. She tried to pretend she was still an untainted girl, a girl with bright innocent eyes and the purest of smiles- so like the girl she had once been. She hurt more than anything for a chance to start over, to go back and change everything. She would have prevented her own birth if it meant dulling this agonizing shame.
A pair of frail arms encircled her from behind, arms promising an unspoken comfort and understanding. Why are you so sad, onesan? asked the small accented voice of her little brother. He rested his head against her back, barely reaching her shoulder blade. He let out a quiet sigh and hugged her reassuringly. You shouldn't be so sad.
And why is that, ototo? she asked in a playful sort of tone, trying to mask her sorrow if only for his sake.
Everything has been taken care of, we're going to win this, He relaxed his arms slightly as he spoke, allowing her to turn and face him. you're going to be free.
She rolled the word round her mouth like a child would a candy too sweet. Free. It was a concept too frightening and wonderful all at once.
If we give it what it wants, it'll go away. The flawed logic of a child. We can be a family again, we can go wherever we want. Mama and Papa never wanted us to be prisoners like this. They never wanted any of this for us. He hugged her again, more desperately this time. We can be free.
Yes, we'll be free.
~o00o~
And why do you fight, brave warrior?
To protect those I love.
You're nothing but a faceless battle-toy. A war puppet.
~o00o~
What do you mean Quatre's not with him?
Heero scanned through the message again as Duo pelted him with questions. Trowa had responded immediately as instructed, but something was terribly wrong.
Duo, track down Quatre's sister Iria. Check her travel records, and medical file, see if she was involved recently in a shuttle accident and where she's receiving treatment. He had lapsed again into soldier mode, handing out little orders here and there. Find Wufei, report what has happened and tell him to contact the Doctors, and make sure it's the Doctors. After you find Iria and Quatre, I'll have Trowa abort the mission.
Duo left without a word, leaving Heero to do what he did best- complete his mission.
~o00o~
You still haven't answered my question.
What gives you the right to ask questions?
~o00o~
The scent of burning flesh danced through her chamber, filling her senses with a smell so uniquely dead one could never mistake it- but she did not pull her fingertips from the flame. Pain was much like a dream to her these days. So real- and yet, not. Hurt was a thing of the past. A thing for small children, and the weak. She secretly feared she could not die now, even if she wanted to. She was in too deep- losing herself in the quiet promises of ruby eyes. Eyes so feral, so deadly and lovely, so wonderful and frightening- eyes which held her captive. She was a prisoner, a bond maid, and the red-eyed one was her keeper. Freedom was much like a dream to her these days.
It was a self imposed prison really. With all her hidden strengths and powers, Dorothy could have easily escaped her captor. A throat could be slit as effortlessly as booking a flight back to space. It was all within the reach of her fingers, but she was so afraid to grasp it. Afraid of what it might mean. Afraid of destroying the only thing she might have loved. But love was as terrifying as those eyes. Love was a stubborn beast- one could not bend her to their will.
Do you know what it's like to close your mouth over the lips of a dying man and steal his last breath?
(With the moon-tints of purple and pearl,)
answered the soft voice in the shadows.
I do.
How long have you felt me watching you?
Since you began.
A small laugh escaped the shadows, followed by a shimmer of smiling eyes. Eyes the color of freshly drawn blood, of a midnight fire. Dorothy could do nothing more than stare into those eyes as Bast broke with the shadows and approached her- slowly, elegantly, like a tiger advances on a wounded doe, a pitiful creature with nowhere to run.
Dorothy opened her mouth, as though to speak but was silenced as Bast extinguished the candle with a quiet breath and kissed Dorothy's burnt finger with a gentleness almost tangible. She was graced with a small smile and will to enjoy this silence as her hurt skin was captured completely by Bast's mouth.
~o00o~
What are you thinking about?
Relena, with all her energy, curiosity, and resolve, had yet to unravel this mystery- the secret whispers that were Chang Wufei. She admired him really. Though his personality was often more than abrasive, and his shell thicker than even Heero's. Wufei had a softness about him, a hidden kindness and sorrow Mab was determined to free. Through all his rants of justice and honor, there was a mourning sort of pain in his bottomless dark eyes. A pain he hid from the other pilots as well as himself at times. But she could always find it. It was there- in every movement, in every forced smile and even harder laugh. The hollowness of having lost someone you love. Relena knew that void all too well.
She could not remember her parents, the Peacecrafts. Where there should have been memories of her brother, Milliardo, and her mother and father there was nothing but endless, dark emptiness. No recollection of her mother's smile, or her father's eyes. There were no memories of Milliardo trying his best to fit the role of her protective older brother' nor could she recall her home on Christmas or the scents so unique in every individual house.
All too clear, were the memories of her foster parents, the Derlains. They had been so kind, so tender to a child who had not been of their own. It seemed both Relena and Upir had found more affection and love with families not of their blood. But where Relena could simply not remember such compassion, Upir had been denied it. They never gave her a chance. Losing the Derlains had nearly killed Relena. All at once her life had become something else. She had been the envied girl at school- the beloved daughter at home- and then, the hope of a lost nation. It must have been the same for Upir, she often mused. Plunged into a world of uncertainties.
(Can vie with the modest Eulalie's most unregarded curl-)
Did Upir hold the same lost light in her eyes? Was she just like the rest of them? Relena lost two families, as had Duo. Trowa was without a past where as Quatre's was often too close. Wufei carried so much pain- and Upir. . . was she so sad as well?
You look so concerned. So worried for one so small.
Wufei's words, though a distraction, were quite welcomed. Relena found herself getting lost within thought more and more these days. She worried about her kingdom, her brother, Quatre and Trowa. She worried for Duo- especially Duo.
You have all accepted your fates. Had she been able to cry, those kitty-blue eyes would have rained a sorrow only a princess could guard. You are true knights, she said with quiet pride, though she knew he could not hear her words. I only wish my own kingdom had not been the home of your impending battles. She cast her eyes to the ground, suddenly ashamed of her very blood's origin.
You must believe in your own sense of justice, said the black-eyed warrior with hints of a secret smile. believe in what is right, and true.
You really amaze me sometimes.
Though slightly baffled by Wufei's ability to read her as easily as one of Duo's cheep mangas, Relena decided thinking, as well as talking, was overrated. Instead, she curled herself into a small furr-armored ball in Wufei's lap. Content simply in listing to the steady sounds of his breathing and heart's beat. She could have stayed there forever- had it not been for Duo's sudden and exuberant entrance.
Catching the hazy bewilderment in Duo's violet eyes, Wufei was on his feet- Relena cradled gently in his arms. What's going on, Maxwell?
You might wanna sit back down, Fei.
~o00o~
Though unconsciousness had become a pleasant enough companion, the clouds began to clear from his vision, and the desperate nature of his current situation came scampering back- hitting him like a misguided bullet. He could feel the closeness of the walls, and taste the damp and dirty air. A cell, he told himself. He was lying on the cold stone floor of a filthy sort of dungeon.
Without the usual harsh florescent lighting, or even the moon's friendly beams to guide him, he felt his way along the narrow barriers. Finding scarcely more than a sink, toilet, and four standard walls, he retired into a back corner. With his knees against his chest and his throbbing head resting against the cool surface of his tiny prison he let his eyes drift shut once more- his heart silently wishing hopeless wishes.
~o00o~
She was running- her feet keeping this terrible pace with the fear and despondent drying of her tears. She could feel winter's harsh kiss on her skin- feel the angry gnarled branches of the trees as they tore at her pale skin. She imagined the skirt of her gown must be ruined by now, as was the flesh of her legs, but she did not stop running.
It is all so familiar.
The forest itself seemed against her. The weeping willows grabbed at her like a possessive lover, and the oaks she thought, were purposely baring her way to all that was safe and secure. She dared not turn to face the predator- even for a moment. She could feel those red eyes upon her without ever having seen them. They were always there- in some small hidden way. And now- now they wanted blood.
Like a dusty memory.
She burst through the door of a tiny decrepit house, pausing only to shut the door behind her and lean her aching body against the unyielding wood. She gasped for air, pulling each breath in desperately as though it were her last. All at once, her breaths caught in her throat as the silhouette of a woman separated itself from the shadows. She was tall, thin and elegant. Her hair was tied into two braids with ribbons binding each end. She wore a simple dress which dragged slightly on the ground with each step. In her arms was a small squirming bundle, wrapped tenderly in cozy blankets.
Shhh, Uu-chan. You'll wake your brother.
Upir woke as a scream broke through her. It was such an unfamiliar sound- so hollow. Before she was presented with even a chance to blink, her room was bursting with people. Dorothy was instantly at her side, a comforting presence with the aura of strength power she cast. Several guards- she lost count after five- bounded across the floors, checking each window and corner for an enemy of tangible sorts. They were shouting, and fumbling over each other like spooked sheep.
Are you all right? Dorothy's hard soldier's eyes searched the room along with those of the misfit guards. Some habits were harder to break than others.
It was only a dream. She found her words slowly, as though taking great pains in selecting each syllable.
As quickly as the room had filled- perhaps faster- each frantic body disappeared from her chamber, leaving her alone with Dorothy. The silence was nearly tangible, like a spider's web so fragile and beautiful shattering it with misguided words seemed wrong somehow.
You need your rest Miss Upir. Try to get some sleep. Her words were cold, though she had not meant them to be so. Her body felt rigid, slightly off, as she turned to leave Upir's chamber.
She turned again, her face void of emotion. Nothing but the hardness of her frigid eyes, and the straight expressionless line of her mouth.
Will you stay? Just until I fall asleep?
(Can compare with the bright-eyed Eulalie's most humble and careless curl.)
Dorothy seemed frightened for a moment, a fierce chill biting at her spine. Without a word spoken, she slowly approached Upir once more, her soldier's motionless mask in place again. She stood by the bedside a moment, as though contemplating her next move. Upir, still sitting wrapped in the plum colored sheets withdrew several feet, leaving more than half the large bed open to Dorothy. Hesitantly, as though calculating each move, Dorothy sat down on the edge of the bed. With her eyes turned towards the floor, she spoke softly.
What were you dreaming about? She did not realize at first that she had spoken aloud, but it seemed right, just being there.
Things not quite forgotten.
Dorothy nodded lightly. Upir had a way of replying to one's questions without ever really answering them. She heard the subtle sounds of Upir lying back down beside her. A little sigh as she made herself comfortable once again among the sheets. Every instinct her grandfather had beaten into her so long ago was telling her to leave, to return to the dark shadows of this moonless night.
What do you dream of, Miss Dorothy? It had always been so formal between them. Princess and Soldier- though Dorothy was not a soldier in the classic sense of the word. She was an assassin, a blood thirsty killer.
I don't.
Upir moved slightly closer, her heart starving for human contact though her mind would not acknowledge its hunger. The simple warmth radiating from Dorothy's body was like a homing beacon- calling her towards the stoic girl.
Going against every fiber of her being, Dorothy turned her eyes to Upir's. Ruby and ice met with a sad uncertain sort of intensity, as though they were seeing each other for the first time. The melancholy fires of ruby. The crying anguish of ice. At that moment, Dorothy knew that Upir was not the girl she pretended to be. She was not the Dove of Peace, the silent and yet strong light of a nation. She was a fragile girl, with an agonizing secret in her haunting dark eyes.
Upir saw for the first time the uncried sorrow that was Dorothy Catalonia. She carried herself with this strength and power- an air of death. But now, in the pale light of the stars she seemed smaller, not so intimidating as she had once been. She looked like a lost child- though only within those cold eyes. If eyes are in fact the windows to the soul, Dorothy and Upir now saw past their pretenses and into the truth of each other.
I dream of a past I cannot change or forget. Of everything I, sadly, have become. She spoke with ages of tragedy. With the conscience of a monster. I'm sorry.
Dorothy leaned closer, captivated by the hurt inside of Upir.
Because I can never make right all that is wrong by my hand. She wrapped her arms around herself, seeking solace from her own embrace.
With every drop of logic and care drained from her body- every instinct chiding her- Dorothy lied down beside her princess, lightly brushing a stray curl away from those magnificent ruby eyes. She knew she should have excused herself, should never have indulged Upir's request for her to stay, but something in those sad eyes made her want nothing more than the somber silence of this chamber- this melancholy bed.
I will fight by your side, I'll set you free. She did not know why she made this promise to the heavy-hearted princess, but in her slumbering soul, she knew it was right.
When Upir woke to the harsh morning sun, Dorothy was gone- as though she had never been there at all.
~o00o~
Duo recoiled slightly, fearing Wufei might spontaneously combust. His nebulous onyx eyes had widened to the point in which they practically took over his entire face. His hands balled themselves into fists by his sides as he began to shake visibly. Judging by the solitary warrior's reaction to their present situation Duo figured he himself had taken the news quite well.
Relena, still cradled firmly in Wufei's arms, shot Duo a worried look, verging on panic. How did this happen? she asked in a breathless confusion- Wufei's expression mirroring her quiet question.
Calm down Fei, you're scaring Mab. He waited for Wufei to mellow slightly before continuing. Someone's been in Heero's laptop again- in all our computers. None of our recent missions have been coming from the doctors. They've been orchestrating our every move.
It was more of an exasperated choke than a word, but somehow, Wufei was able to communicate his meaning. Met by downcast eyes, and slightly regaining his composure he continued; This happened when you were in Sanc- but, Yuy found the vermin's trail. How could they be in there again?
Bast must have wanted us to catch their scent the first time. Wanted us to feel safe and protected against it happening again. We'd be looking for it now- we'd think they were beneath us, or had been sloppy. Either way we would have felt untouchable after beating them once. Look at us! Duo made a dramatic sweeping gesture with his arms. We never saw it coming. We were over confident, and careless.
Wufei let out the rigid breath he had been holding. They planned this perfectly. Everything, from the assassination, to the mission, to the representatives from Romafeller. We're not dealing with the usual OZ dogs. His voice trailed off to little more than a whisper.
I need you to get a hold of the doctors. They need to be updated.
Of course.
Duo turned to leave, but spun around suddenly. Oh, and- uh, could you feed Mab? A familiar smile stretched itself across his face, and without waiting for a reply he called out, Thanks, Fei! and was gone.
Wufei, and the tiny cat in his arms exchanged knowing glances before it was said aloud, Baka- always finding a reason to smile.
~o00o~
Trowa was growing impatient. His visible eye narrowed dangerously, promising harm to the unfortunate barer of coming bad news. Heero knew more than he felt the need to share, that much was obvious. But how much more, and good or ill, was unclear.
For several hours, he had lost track of exactly how many- Trowa sat motionless by the side of his unresponsive computer, awaiting further updates. As of now, all he knew was that Quatre was gone, Heero was hiding something, and security had been compromised. One thing on top of another which pointed distinctly at disaster- at one's worst nightmare. He did not have the luxury of feeling afraid. He could not fear for Quatre, or himself. Fear causes hesitation, and that causes your worst fears to come true.
There was only hope now. Hope that Quatre was safe, and very soon, this nightmare would draw to a close.
~o00o~
On the roof of the palace kitchens, where the misty, ethereal beauty of the Sanc kingdom lie before you in wondrous silken folds of nature and humanity, sat a small boy. His dusty blond hair fell in soft bangs over his pale eyes, as he poured over this magnificent realm that was his home.
Above him, the stars twinkled and danced their ever changing waltz of the night, seeming to play among the thin winter clouds as though children among wildflowers. He smiled fondly, remembering such times of play with his sister. Closing his eyes, he could see her, so long ago, when life was lovely and simple. With her long red curls trapped beneath a thin summer hat, and a soft cotton dress shrouding her elegant form. He could picture her, twirling around and around in the flowers outside of their small cozy home, a cat at her heels. She was always smiling back then. When they were a real family.
(Now Doubt- now Pain, Come never again,)
Come and dance with me, ototo, he could almost here her calling to him. She had always addressed him this way, as simply little brother. It was a name no one else in the vastness of the entire universe could call him by. He was her little brother, and she- his only big sister. His onesan. He had always known her as family, and she always would be. Family was forever, even when your family was not of your blood. Family was so much more than genetics- and in that, was their eternity.
You'll be free, onesan, he whispered into the cool night's wind. and we'll be a family again. Wait and see. His smile faded into nothingness. Free, onesan. Free.
~o00o~
Upon returning to his room, Duo was quick to seat himself in front of his laptop, and bury his face in his hands- biting back an urge to scream and kill the closest living organism. While Heero and Wufei busied themselves with their latest missions Duo found solace in nothing but the feel of his hands pressed firmly against his eyes, as he drew in long nasal breaths. Though he too, had been set a task, there was too much noise in his head- restless currents in his heart. And the only cure was quiet reflection- or the death of an unlucky bystander. Calming his instincts, Duo opted for the quiet reflection bit.
After several minutes of mere thinking and soft steady breaths, Duo was ready to get to work.
Quatre was from the L4 cluster, and so the obvious place to begin searching for one of his many sisters was within L4. Duo began scrolling through page after page of recent news articles concerning those colonies, as well as publications from the Earth and the other colonies for such articles with mention of L4 or the Winner family- but each time, he came up empty handed.
It was more than suspicious. It was downright freaky.
The Winner family was known throughout space as well as the earth. How could one be struck down without the media having a field day with the exaggeration of stories and the pestering of remaining family members? It made absolutely no sense at all. Dead end.
Next was the spaceport in the Sanc kingdom. A reservation had not been made under Quatre's name, nor had anything been purchased through any of his accounts- legal or otherwise. Duo found it hard to believe that Quatre had been carrying enough cash to purchase a ticket back to the colonies. He must have watched the spaceport's security footage for the morning of Quatre's disappearance a hundred times before he realized it.
Quatre never left the Sanc Kingdom.