All You Wanted

Disclaimer: cheewee shall show you that she owns nothing.  … See?

*sigh*  So begins another boring chapter of my life, mina-san.  I mean… I got as far as knowing… but what now?

This takes place, oh,… hrm … about a day after the prologue.  Well, the night after – like, … ok, say that the prologue took place on Friday… so then this takes place on Saturday night.

Only, it's not really Friday and Saturday in the story – it's just … during the school week ^^'.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So it is true, then?"

"Yeah, it is.  I mean… he's just so sweet sometimes that I can't exactly help it…"

"Really??  The 'I'm-too-cool-for-everyone' Ishida is sweet?  Who would ever think?…"

So it's true.  I like - … No, I don't just like him – I'm convinced I'm in love with him.  Just perfect for me – the owner of the Crest of Love.  I feel totally stupid about liking him, and I don't know why – I think it's cause I know that he doesn't like me.

"So how'd it start?"

This is what I really wanted to get to.  Whenever I actually thought about why I go nuts every time I hear his name, I get all giddy and I feel pretty happy… just how I want to feel.  "Well, it started around… the beginning of the month, I guess, at the dance.  Remember?"  I could feel my cheeks grow red again – and my little happiness meter would go up a few notches every time I thought about this.  "Well, we did dance-"

"Wait, was it like a slow dance … or was it a …"

"It was 'a' if you wanna know…"

I could hear Yukari giggle like one of his little fangirls over the other line.  "Anyway – we did dance.  And then, the next day was his drummer's birthday, so that night, we went to his guitarist's house and hung out – then we went to the drummer's house and hung out there."

There was about a second of silence before Yukari continued with the interrogation.  "And what's so special about hanging out, pray tell?"

"Well… Yamato was sitting next to me through the entire hangout at the drummer's house.  I thought it was cute because the drummer's girlfriend gave him, the drummer, a teddy bear, and he had it sitting on his living room table.  He didn't appear to want to hold it at the moment, so I just took it.  I had to get up for something, and then when I sat back down, he was holding onto the bear.  I wanted it back, so I sat back down and we started to fight over it.  We just settled on sharing it for the time being.  He also had the part of the couch he was sitting on reclined, and the cushion was big enough that we both kinda fit onto it.  So I was reclining a bit with him… and…"  As I trailed off, I thought I would giggle hysterically, and then die because of it.  "I got online the next morning, and I was talking to the drummer.  I know him pretty well – we used to go to pre-school together – so he says to me, 'my sister (who was there, as well) said something to me about you last night that was so funny.'  Of course, I wanted to know what it was … and I totally wasn't expecting this, but he said, 'she thought you and Yamato were together!'"

I heard Yukari drop the phone, and then I heard insane, high-pitched laughter.  I had to hold the receiver away from my head for a couple seconds, and then I heard her voice again.

"And that's ALL that happened?!"

"Well, don't you remember last year – his English teacher thought we were going out, too?"

"Oh yeah…"  She had a far-off, suddenly-realizing-something tone to her voice.

"Yeah, kinda hard to forget since you were in his English class last year…"  I rolled my eyes.  Why did I pick Yukari to tell this to?

"That was actually kind of funny last year.  If he forgot his book, he'd woe some airhead girl into sharing with him.  Not like it would have been a problem, though…"

"Well you know-"

"Wait, all you two did was share a teddy bear and lounge next to each other?  Doesn't sound like much to me…"

I could tell she wanted to hear more.  And more there was!  "Well, there were also some little flirty things going on … like," I couldn't help but smile, "I'd say something meant to offend him (I was joking, of course), and then he'd mock-elbow me, since I was right next to him, and then we'd end up play fighting.  But that usually just resulted in our .. holding hands …"  I grinned like an idiot when I said that.  I couldn't help but admit that it was one of the happiest things in my life to do – hold his hand, not grin like an idiot, I mean. 

"Aw, Sora – that's so sweet!"

"He really is pretty nice to me.  I mean, there are sometimes when he'll ask me stuff about the tennis team, or he'll just seem really naturally interested in some things about me.  And sometimes, when we just lay there together, it seems so calm and … it's just like how I wanna stay for the rest of my life."

"SORA!!!!"

I think she was crying.  "What, what's wrong?"

I could hear her sniffle on the other line.  "Sora, that's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard!  Now," she sniffed again, "I want to marry Yamato!"

"Um … good luck …?"  I kinda laughed after that.  "But what do you think I should do?"

"Don't worry – leave everything to good, ol' Yukari-chan!"

Why did I not like the sound of that?  "What does that mean?"

"Well, do you want me to ask him?"

"Ask him what?"

"Ask him if he likes you?"

Little red lights and loud buzzers went off in my head – that was a definite no-no.  "Um, no, not just yet.  I guess we'll just wait and see what happens."

"OK, Sora – listen, I gotta go now – I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?"

"Yeah.  Thanks, Yukari – I'll see you tomorrow."

"Anytime.  Ja ne."

"Ja."

~*~*~*~

I always do this.  I'm right here, lying down in my bed, thinking about him again.  What is it…  What is it inside of me that drives me mad about him?  Why does it always happen that whenever we talk, I get all giddy, but then calm down with a simple touch of his hand?

I thought back to the dance, and then how we went to Yuriko's house afterward.  Now I know why I felt so empty – he wasn't there.  He had to stay there since his band was playing.  Why did I even leave the dance?  … I guess things turned out for the better.  I mean … we got to hang out the next night, right?

Now I'm back to thinking about why I like him.  I don't really remember what initiated all of it – maybe it was the fact that we danced together.  Maybe it was when he put his hand on my hip, and time just seemed to stop – like we were the only two people in the room.  But then it all quickly faded back – my memory coming back to me – as he just slowly stopped.  He walked pretty coolly away from me – it actually made me feel not awkward about dancing with him.

I really didn't want to, cause I knew I would act all stupid and giddy about it afterwards.  Even as I went to the dance and saw Yuriko there, and then I saw him, I still knew I didn't want it to happen…

And yet I did.  I kind of wanted something consummated between us.  Not really consummated – I think my mother would execute me for that – but … settled, I guess.  It was kind of like I was just waiting for something to be sealed between us.

But now I'm kind of sad.  I heard that some senior is gonna take him to the Winter Snowball.  Only juniors and seniors are allowed to go – unless, of course, you are asked by a junior or senior.  I really don't know who asked him – sure, I've heard of her, and I know who she is, but I really don't know her.  I know they have choir together.  I guess that's why she asked him.  I can always ask Yuriko – she's sort of friends with some of the seniors.

What am I going to do now?

~*~*~*~*~

I walked to my locker, not really paying attention to those people walking briskly past me.  I was kind of mad, now that I think about it, because of the whole thing with him being asked to the Winter Snowball by some girl that was prettier, much more attractive, and … well, she seemed to have some senior (no pun intended, since she is a senior) authority over him than what I had – just a bond of friendship, and unrequited obsession/love.

Anyway – as I was saying – I walked to my locker.  I found my usual crowd of girls there, probably waiting for Yamato to come around the corner so they could swoon and pine and catch their first glimpse of the ever-so-wonderful Ishida Yamato of the day.  I didn't really pay much attention to it all – it happened just about everyday.

I could hear Taichi's voice, talking to one of my friends, asking where I was.  I sighed, getting ready for another long day of school. 

All I really wanted was to see him – to wish that he would just find me in the halls, and take me into his arms, and hold me there.  Just to know how he feels about me … that's all I wanted.  That's all I'd probably ever want from him.  I knew I couldn't have more, because he seemed to be on some unreachable platform … that nobody could ever get to – he was untouchable.

"Ohayo, Sora-chan.  What's up?"

I sighed.  I do that way too much.  "Nothing, really.  Just preparing for another excitement-filled day of school!"  I smiled sarcastically at him; I think he knew what was aggravating me.

"Don't worry, Sora – everyone'll soon realize that it's all a rumor.  I think the fact that he's going to the Winter Snowball with that senior… what was her name..??  Anyway – the fact that he's going with her will overpower any of those rumors about you two going out."  Ouch.  I was thinking about telling Taichi that I more than liked Yamato at that point so he wouldn't be able to verbally assault my feelings, self-esteem and self-confidence anymore than he already had.

"You talk about it like it's another battle we have to go through."

"Well, think of it as an emotional battle."

I pulled my history book out – Taichi would walk me there on his way to English.  He does that everyday.  What a sweet guy…  What are best friends for, anyway?  "I don't think I'm winning."

As I shoved a few more notebooks into my bag and then secured it closed, he shut the locker for me.  "Well, all you have to do then is wait for your knight in shining armor to come along and fight for you."  He gave me a goofy grin, and I couldn't help but laugh.  Taichi's always there for me.

"Oi, Sora!"  Mai called over to me from a far down the hallway.  I turned towards her, watching as she pushed her way through crowds of freshmen.  Man, I never realized how annoying freshmen are…  Anyway – she finally reached me, a smile stuck to her face like gum to hair.  "Sora, did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"Hear about Yamato being asked to the Winter Snowball by that senior!"

Here we go again – that's the third time today that it's been mentioned, and I haven't even been at school for a full fifteen minutes, yet.  "Yeah, I heard – why?"

"Well, that means that you two aren't going out, right?"

"We never were going out to begin with…"  I don't know how many people I had to say this to.

Mai still seemed a little curious.  Her eyebrow quirked with the thought of another question, and she didn't seem to want to let me go until she had an answer.  "So, you're not mad, then?"

"Why would I be mad?  He's his own person – I'm not going to tell him what to do or stand in the way of what he's going to do."

"But … you don't like him?"

"Why would you think that I like him?  We're just friends – nothing more!  See, ok – I don't know how the rumor started, but we are just… JUST friends, ok?"

"All right, Sora … I believe you this time…"  She gave me a skeptical look.  "I gotta get to class – ja ne!"  Taichi and I watched as she rushed through the crowds, bumping into the occasional freshman every now and then.

I sighed.  Taichi put his hand on my shoulder, clamping it down and shaking me a little reassuringly. "Come on, let's get a head start to history."

I hung my head, slipping out of his grasp to get my bag.  I slipped it over my shoulder with apathetic hands, walking slowly away from the mass-gathering of teenagers around my locker.  I sighed again, hearing Taichi catch up to me.

"Will you stop sighing?"

"No."

"Well then can you tell me what's wrong already?"  Somehow, Taichi always knows when something is bothering me.  Forget about the fact that I was visibly unhappy – he always knows.  I'm always ready to tell him, too, because he always seems to be the one that cares … the one that'll listen to me, no questions asked.

Except this time, I wasn't ready to tell.  "It's nothing important."  I tried my best to quicken my pace and run away, but he pulled on the strap to my bag, catching my arm to walk with him again.

"Sora, you're reduced to a state of … sighing to communicate every emotion, now, come on – something must be bothering you."

I stopped walking.  "You're right … something is bothering me."

"And that something is - ?"

"I can't talk about it right now."  I spoke again before he could protest.  "It's not that I don't want to talk about it with you, because Kami-sama knows that I do, but … I just don't feel comfortable talking about it here in school."  I looked up into his endless chocolate eyes, telling him with mine that I was serious.

His features softened, a smile spreading across his lips.  "You crazy kid …"  He ruffled my hair, turning to walk me to history again.

I can always count on Taichi.

~*~*~*~*~

"So … do you know anybody else that's going to the Winter Snowball … I mean, besides Yamato and Mimi?"  Mimi was going with Jyou, who transferred to our school.  He was still … a year-older-than-us-and-panicking Jyou – the same Jyou that Mimi would always seem to love.

"No … I wouldn't be surprised, though, if they opened it up to sophomores, considering how unenthusiastic the senior class is."

Ah, what perfect timing I have, for at that very moment, an announcement came over the loud speaker.  "Excuse the interruption, we have a couple of announcements for the day."

I watched my Japanese teacher throw up his hands in defeat – he was probably the best teacher I had.  Anyway, as I watched him, I turned back to Mina, telling her that I would most likely hang out with her the night of the Winter Snowball…

"And our final announcement for the day … and for the year, for that matter, is that the Winter Snowball has just been opened up to the sophomore class.  Please see your class council advisors for forms to attend the council, and have them back no later than Friday, January 4th, 2002.  Have a wonderful vacation, everyone, we'll see you next year."

During the time that I had been listening to the announcement, I was packing up my things to head home for a good week with my mother and a Christmas tree and some nice things called presents.  Mina suddenly stopped me.  "Hey – are you gonna go to the dance now that it's open to us?"

I thought about it.  I really did.  "I don't know.  I guess we'll see.  Look, I'm gonna go, ok?  Have a good vacation, Mina – talk to you … I'll call you sometime over the weekend, ok?"

"Ok, Sora – mada na!"

"Ja na!"  We went our separate ways down the hall, bumping into the enthusiastic crowd of people, now that school was out for a week.  I smiled to some friends that walked by, telling them to have a good vacation, that I'd talk to them online or something like that … Things like that.  I got to my locker, putting most of my books away and pulling my winter coat on.  I really didn't want to walk home, but Kaa-san was most likely busy at the shop and, well… what can you do, right?

As I closed my locker, I heard Taichi call to me, probably rushing to catch up to me.  "Hey!  Wanna walk home?"

"I wasn't looking forward to it, but I guess so."  I tried to think of things to talk about as we walked down the crowded halls, but … it seemed like the one thing that I wanted to get my mind off of was the only thing that was on my mind.

"So, you heard they opened up the Winter Snowball to we sophomores, right?"

"Yeah, I wonder if anybody will actually go…"

"You mean you weren't thinking about going?"

OK, so I was.  I wanted to go, sure – but I knew that the only reason why I would go would be to watch Yamato, even though I was trying desperately to get my mind off of him.  "No, not really – I would have to buy a dress and stuff like that … and how am I going to do that all in less than a week?  It'd kind of be a waste of money…"

I watched as Taichi shrugged, walking me out into the lobby of school.  We tried to get past the massive crowds of people waiting there to shelter themselves from the cold, but it was nearly impossible.  He held onto my wrist to try and get me through, but I felt something tugging my arm, holding me back.  I looked to find Yamato trying to get through the crowd as well.  "Mind if I tag along?"

I smiled at him; the boy was so damn irresistible.  "You better keep up!"  I giggled, turning to face back to Taichi, who wasn't making much progress.  He tried shoving through crowds of people, but to no avail.

I felt Yamato lean down and whisper into my ear.  "Watch, me, I'll get the seas to part …"  He slowly let go of my arm, bringing his gloved hands up to his mouth, ready to shout something.  "All right, people, clear a path, lady with a baby!"

My head immediately whipped around to smack him, but before I could, he pushed me forward, into Taichi, as the 'seas' did, in fact, part.  "Just go along with it," he whispered again.  I felt his body press up against mine, his hands taking hold of my hips as we walked forward, Taichi moving a bit faster than us.  I knew my cheeks were a deeper shade than even blood, and I suddenly found the floor that was moving like magic beneath me very interesting.  I noticed how much I hate grey tiles that day, and how much I probably won't have them anywhere in my home when I'm older.

As we wound up outside, Yamato's hands slowly left their position around my waist, and he let me go.  I walked over to Taichi, and he noticed what a look of anger I had on my face, laughing at me a bit.  "I'm going to kill him!"

"Hey, Taichi, what's-"

I slapped Yamato's arm with my hand, which didn't do much, because cotton gloves aren't much of a fight for a wool peacoat.  I slapped him a little more.

"What was that for?!"

"'LADY WITH A BABY??!!!'  What do you call that?!"

"My way of getting the seas to part for me."  He took a defiant pose, and my face fell as I turned away and started to walk home.

"Don't you think that you could have yelled a better … exclamation back there than 'lady with a baby?'  Is that the best you could do?  You couldn't have said something like Brad Pitt is outside, or that there was anthrax on the ground or something?"  I began to walk away, very annoyed with him.  I think Taichi was about to say something to me, but he was stopped when I was pulled away by Yamato's hand, or rather his hand pulling mine.

I stared into azure eyes and a puppy dog face, obviously fake, but only to win my affections over again.  I'm such a sap … and I'm emotionally weak, have I said that before?  Maybe the whole fact that he's flirted with me for the past few .. since the day that I knew him has just lead me on.  Anyway – back to what was happening. 

"Please, Sora – forgive me?"  He held my hand in both of his, an blatant motion that he was sweet-talking me.

I wouldn't have it.  "I don't-"

Suddenly, he collapsed to his knees, and wrapped his arms around my waist, mock-crying…

All in front of the entire student body.

"Oh, PLEASE, Sora, forgive me, for I have sinned!  I beg, for my life for you to forgive me!"

Somehow, I tore his arms off me, and hid my beet-red face in my hands, my eyes widened with shock, embarrassment, and disgust as I walked off, Taichi close in tow.

"Sora, come back to me, please!"

 All I could do was keep telling myself, 'I don't know him, I'm leaving, I don't like him at all, that is totally turning me away…!' …

~*~*~*~*~

I didn't talk to him until the next night, when we hung out again.  I was a bit surprised – he didn't flirt with … or talk to me, for that matter, a lot that night, and it kind of broke my heart.  But I guess I didn't let it get to me that much, because … well … it had been a while since I started liking him.  Now that I was seeing that he wasn't doing much about it, other than still treating me the same way, … I started to not like him.  I mean, yeah, I did still like him, but … something about the fact that he wasn't making any move just turned me away.

Anyway, we had the week off – how glorious it was.  Considering how much sleep I was losing, I just went home that night and slept.  I didn't go online, which was rather unusual for me, and I didn't call anybody – another something-you-don't-see-done-everyday-by-Sora thing.

Ah, sleep – how nice and … restful it was.  I think that was probably the best sleep I ever got that year.  I remember hitting my pillow and looking at my clock – it read 7:34.  The next thing I knew, I was off in a dream world, … filled with thoughts of Yamato.

Which wasn't what I wanted.  As I woke up the next morning, and stood in the shower rinsing my hair, something hit me about him that I never realized before.

It'll take a while to explain.  First of all, I knew that Yamato wasn't exactly the type to open up to someone easily, and he's very picky about who his friends are.  That sort of contradicts his rock-star persona, as he caters to many an eye of the adoring fans, rather enjoying his public and their love for him.  He also seems to enjoy flirting with girls a lot (well, at least those that go absolutely weak in the knees when his name is mentioned), and I didn't see my treatment as anything special, at least when I tried looking at this through his eyes.  He … now, I didn't think that Yamato would be the type to enjoy dancing … to rap music, but he seemed to be having a little fun at that dance a little while ago.  Anyway, he danced with … more girls than I can count on my hand, not including myself, and that sort of put me down.  Another thing was that whenever I see him (not with Taichi or myself, at least) in the halls, he's with – you guessed it – some other girl.  Probably toying with their emotions, because he knows better than to think that they would truly love him, but still … it rather annoyed me.

Needless to say, I'm rather … pissed off. 

So, as soon as I got out of the shower, I called Yukari, and told her everything.  I was rather ashamed of myself as I did – I don't think I've ever let anybody into my emotions enough, save Taichi or … Yamato, to actually have them see the entire situation through my eyes.

She told me not to worry about it, and that what I was thinking was probably true.  I mean, the fact that he was probably just kidding around, and that he didn't mean anything.

That meant that all of the flirting, the hand-holding, the … (watch me blush as I say this) almost steamy dancing (note that 'almost' is italicized!) … it all meant nothing to him.  As I began to realize this, I started to get upset.  That resulted in my shoving the tears back down, and mustering up all the courage I had to tell Yukari that I'd get over him, and that this whole thing would probably be long-forgotten by the time we get back to school.

So I hung up the phone, and began to cry.

I don't know why I was crying – I felt so embarrassed.  First of all, I was in love with one of my best friends, and second of all … I was crying about it.

I called Yukari back, and I could tell she could barely understand my hysterical words – her stunned silence evidence of that.  I then explained everything to her that had happened in the 3.25 minutes that we had been off the phone with each other, and … I just wouldn't stop crying, even as she tried to console me.

"Sora – don't do this!  NO guy is worth crying over!"  I would have liked to have thought that at the time.

"I can't help it … I … it's just that everything seemed to mean so much to me and … now … to think that it all could mean nothing to him … I mean he said he'd go to the dance with a senior!!!  A senior, for crying out loud!!!  Isn't that proof enough that he probably doesn't like me!!!"

"Sora … I can't tell you enough that you can't do this to yourself.  I know you're stronger than that!  This is absolutely nothing to worry about … if he likes you – that's awesome!  Then you have nothing to worry about!  And if he doesn't like you, at least you're still friends, and friendship is a bond that can never be broken by anybody but the people that hold it."

Maybe someone should have given her the Crest of Friendship. 

"Yukari … I …"

"Sora … I really … what?"  Yukari had a talent for talking to people she wasn't on the phone with while on the phone.  "WE'RE GOING ON VACATION RIGHT NOW ??!!!"

I thought I'd cry a little harder at that point. 

"Sora … I hate to leave you in such a state right now – I know you're never one to cry about things like this, but … my family has just surprised me with a surprise vacation to America, and … they don't want me to waste another minute on not packing … I can't talk to you, I'm so sorry!"

Drying my face with the hundredth tissue I used that night, I swallowed and sniffled.  "No, it's ok – you go have fun.  Don't worry about me, I'll be ok.  It's ok, I understand how that is.  I'll see you later, and take lots of pictures for me, ok?"

"Sora …"

"No, go!  You'll be even more sorry that you didn't go than if you leave me here.  I should be able to take care of my own problems, ok?"

"Sora…!"

"Yukari!!!  I'm gonna hang up right now if you don't tell me goodbye and that you'll see me later and that you'll have the most fun in the world in America!"

"Goodbye, Sora – I'll see you later!  I'll try and have the most fun in the world in America, but I'm going to call you in a few nights so you can tell me what's going on, ok?"

"Sure."  I sniffled again, a great and hearty sniffle.  "Thanks so much, Yukari."

"Anytime, Sora.  Ja na!"

"Ja."

I hung up the phone feeling a little better, but then I remembered that she'd be gone for at least four days, and that made me feel worse again.

I grabbed the tissue box again.

~*~*~*~*~

I got a call from Taichi later that day that he'd have to go visit his grandmother in Tokyo, but that he'd be back in 3 days.

Great, I thought, everybody is leaving me.  Maybe I could find Koushirou and go to a movie …?

Anyway, he also said that the night he got back, he'd like to have some people over at Koushirou's apartment to watch a movie, and that it had already been arranged since Koushirou's parents would be out of town for a bit.

There go my plans.  I said it was ok, and that I'd be happy to go over to Koushirou's apartment that night.

"Great."  He paused for a second, a little nervously – I could tell over the phone.  "You know … I'll miss you."

I was a little surprised.  "You'll MISS ME?!"  OK, a lot surprised.  "Why would you miss me?"

"Who am I gonna make fun of for being a ditz half the time?  Who am I gonna spend half the night on the phone with?"

"You'll be gone for three days, Taichi…"

"I know, but …"

"Look, Taichi – you've never been sappy before, it's not a good time to start."  It definitely wasn't a good time.

"OK… I'll listen to you this time…"

"Good then."  I brightened up a bit.

"This time, though … that being the key phrase."

"Oh, really?"

"Oh, you *KNOW* it!"

"Yeah, sure!"  I laughed a bit at his over-assuredness.

"Yeah, well, we'll see who laughs last *next time*, Sora!  You'll be-"

I could hear him drop the phone over the other line, something which caused me to laugh insanely at.  He did it all the time whenever we talked, but this time, it was just a little funnier.

"Taichi!  Get off the phone – we're going to leave in a few minutes!"

As I heard his mother yell at him over the other line, it suddenly hit me – Taichi never called me right before he would leave for somewhere.  Not anywhere important, anyway…  But this was the first time he had actually taken the time to call me and tell me that he'd leave.

Maybe he forgot to call me or something…  Ah, well.

"Sorry about that, Sora, but I gotta go!"

"Yeah, so I've heard."

"I'll call you later, ok?"

"Don't hesitate to *ever* call me, ok?"

"Yeah, yeah …"

"Be a good boy, and don't be mean to your grandmother!"

"Of course not!"

"TAICHI!" his mother called over the line again.

"All right, Mom, I'm coming!"  I could hear him sigh, signaling that his tone was fading from sarcastic to serious.  "I'll see you later, ok?"

I smiled – there will always be a little boy inside of Taichi.  "OK."  I sighed.  I *have* to stop doing that!  "See ya later."

"Ja."

~*~*~*~*~

Woo-hoo-hoo-HOOO!  A little longer than last … installment, ne, mina?  Well, I just got done … I have a math quiz tomorrow to study for, and … I just wanna get some sleep!  Is that too much to ask for??!!!  T.T!!!

I know I switch tenses a lot, I'm really sorry!!!  I haven't gotten a set block of time enough to write down the story straight .. I've tried to keep it to past tense.  If  I haven't … *gets down on knees and begs* gomen nasai!!!

Arritey .. I'm really tired…

-cheewee