Disclaimer: I don't own any of these people, the BBC do. Except for one of the patients, I guess I own her but I don't like the idea of "owning people"
Dedications: To Lauren and Jess for getting me into Holby and for getting me obsessed with fan fics, to the BBC for writing such a good show, to Sam and Alex for being so sweet and to all my friends I loveee uuuuu.
****
bLove echoes in eternity/b
"I'll catch up with you later then" said Alex, smiling at Sam as he walked through the familiar Holby doors, "I'm not working tonight, so if you want to come round..." He winked at her and smiled.
"I am working though, sorry. I'm in theatre with Meyer, wish me luck!" He crossed his fingers at her and kissed her nose. She saw the ring on her finger and smiled to herself. She felt so much happiness, so much love. In the few days that they'd been engaged, life had been perfect. She'd even planned on what they would call their children, what their wedding would be like and suddenly all the little fantasies that she'd had as a little girl came closer to reality. He felt similar love, and on staring into her brown eyes, knew how much he cared for her. He started to wonder why she meant so much to him, why he cared so much for Sam, this one person in a world of billions. He hoped she couldn't hear what he was thinking as sometimes he knew she could, it was one of the millions of special things between them. He thought to himself how amazing she was, in so many ways. In the way she talked, smiled, and even touched him.
He secretly told her how much he loved her and right there and right then he drifted off to a world where nobody, not even he could explain, a world of happiness, joy and content. Sam stood there looking back into Alex's eyes, like she was searching for the love of her life and finally realizing that he was staring back at her.
"Alex, Alex" Danny interrupted them, although they had not actually said much during their deep conversation. "There's been an emergency down on the A542, just thought you should know in case patients are sent up".
"Are there enough doctors?" Alex sounded concerned.
"I'm not sure, but I think we're dealing with it. The second ambulance is just leaving."
"Page them and tell them to wait, I'm coming with them. I'll speak to you later" He blew a kiss at Sam and then hardly looked back as he put on his emergency jacket and headed down to A&E.
****
"Hello?" Sam answered the phone with a greedy tone, hoping to hear Alex's voice on the other end.
"Dr. Kennedy?" This sounded serious, Sam knew it was Anton Meyer.
"Yes, Mr. Meyer? Is there a problem? Is Sarah okay?" She assumed that there was a problem with the patient that she'd been dealing with, as her condition was unstable.
"She's fine. It's about Alex." Sam smiled, she thought perhaps he'd heard of the engagement.
"Oh...?" Sam sounded surprised.
"I'm afraid, and this isn't hard to say, I'm afraid Alex was in an accident". Sam said nothing.
"The ambulance that left for the emergency on the A542, I'm not sure if you were aware of it, crashed. A car sped round the corner and didn't see the ambulance. It was of course going at considerable speed, for fear of not reaching the emergency in time."
"Is he....is he OK?" Sam was praying and breathing deeply.
"He's in a critical condition, as are the other doctors involved, all from casualty I believe, and he's being operated on as we speak. I'm not sure how great our chances are." Meyer sounded unhopeful.
"But he can't? He can't die, we're engaged to be married." Sam was still stunned with disbelief.
"I'm sorry, Sam, there's nothing we can do. He is in the best hands, as I'm sure you're aware and if he can be saved, he will. Now do you want me to send someone up to be with you?" Sam was silent.
"Sam?"
"No, I'll be alright. What time is he due out of theatre?"
"We're not sure, there have already been complications. I'll come to see you as soon as I know anything further."
"Thank you" Sam whispered and placed down the receiver. She was still in shock and refused to believe it. Not Alex, not her Alex.
****
Sam sat at home, by herself, playing with the ring that Alex had given her weeks before. She watched it slip between her fingers and suddenly the light caught on it, and she noticed an engraving that she hadn't seen before, "With undying love, A". She felt another tear on her cheek. It wasn't the first time she'd cried, and she knew it wouldn't be the last. It was ironic that he'd been killed doing the thing that he loved most. He wasn't even supposed to be working, they have people in A&E who handle those situations but for some reason he went. They didn't even ask him, he just volunteered. It was his night off and I don't think anyone thought for one moment that anything would go wrong. It wasn't the fault of whoever was driving the ambulance, apparently the car just appeared out of nowhere. But it had taken his life, and stolen him from me, my love and my fiancé.
She wondered whether there'd ever be a moment when she didn't speak to him in her dreams and have little conversations with him in her head, when she wouldn't feel his presence and when she wouldn't relive every moment that they'd spent together. Everything they'd said, everything they'd done. She might move on, perhaps, but she knew she would never forget him. He would always be there, right besides her, and she loved him more and more every second. Maybe they would meet in some other world, and be together, for Sam knew that that was where they belonged. She loved him so much. She had only dreamed of loving someone that much, and he'd taught her how to do it, he'd shown her that it was possible and she knew she'd always love him. Part of him would always be in her heart and that would go with her through life and she knew that if she ever needed strength she could turn to him. She'd felt like she was flying when she was with him, it was insane, it was chaotic, it was... so
surreal and so incredibly and beautifully overwhelming.. And she became a better person for it. At times it had hurt like crazy. She had become a victim to her own feelings, emotions and passions, and not a ruler of them because she knew that she could not control what she felt, it was natural and it was what was meant to happen, and that is when the truth became obvious to her. No matter how shattered her life may now be without Alex by her, all she wanted now was for others to experience what she has felt. To become victims of their emotions, and to completely and entirely sacrifice themselves to others. To love, to be loved, and do something about it. She would never regret what happened with Alex, although obviously she missed him and loved him, but it had made her more aware of life, of love and of compassion. This is something he had taught her and for this she would be eternally grateful.
She put the ring in a drawer in her desk. She kissed her finger and then touched his lips on the smiling photograph of him on her desk and then she put the picture face down. "Goodbye Alex. I love you" she whispered, wiped the tears from her cheek and walked away.
Dedications: To Lauren and Jess for getting me into Holby and for getting me obsessed with fan fics, to the BBC for writing such a good show, to Sam and Alex for being so sweet and to all my friends I loveee uuuuu.
****
bLove echoes in eternity/b
"I'll catch up with you later then" said Alex, smiling at Sam as he walked through the familiar Holby doors, "I'm not working tonight, so if you want to come round..." He winked at her and smiled.
"I am working though, sorry. I'm in theatre with Meyer, wish me luck!" He crossed his fingers at her and kissed her nose. She saw the ring on her finger and smiled to herself. She felt so much happiness, so much love. In the few days that they'd been engaged, life had been perfect. She'd even planned on what they would call their children, what their wedding would be like and suddenly all the little fantasies that she'd had as a little girl came closer to reality. He felt similar love, and on staring into her brown eyes, knew how much he cared for her. He started to wonder why she meant so much to him, why he cared so much for Sam, this one person in a world of billions. He hoped she couldn't hear what he was thinking as sometimes he knew she could, it was one of the millions of special things between them. He thought to himself how amazing she was, in so many ways. In the way she talked, smiled, and even touched him.
He secretly told her how much he loved her and right there and right then he drifted off to a world where nobody, not even he could explain, a world of happiness, joy and content. Sam stood there looking back into Alex's eyes, like she was searching for the love of her life and finally realizing that he was staring back at her.
"Alex, Alex" Danny interrupted them, although they had not actually said much during their deep conversation. "There's been an emergency down on the A542, just thought you should know in case patients are sent up".
"Are there enough doctors?" Alex sounded concerned.
"I'm not sure, but I think we're dealing with it. The second ambulance is just leaving."
"Page them and tell them to wait, I'm coming with them. I'll speak to you later" He blew a kiss at Sam and then hardly looked back as he put on his emergency jacket and headed down to A&E.
****
"Hello?" Sam answered the phone with a greedy tone, hoping to hear Alex's voice on the other end.
"Dr. Kennedy?" This sounded serious, Sam knew it was Anton Meyer.
"Yes, Mr. Meyer? Is there a problem? Is Sarah okay?" She assumed that there was a problem with the patient that she'd been dealing with, as her condition was unstable.
"She's fine. It's about Alex." Sam smiled, she thought perhaps he'd heard of the engagement.
"Oh...?" Sam sounded surprised.
"I'm afraid, and this isn't hard to say, I'm afraid Alex was in an accident". Sam said nothing.
"The ambulance that left for the emergency on the A542, I'm not sure if you were aware of it, crashed. A car sped round the corner and didn't see the ambulance. It was of course going at considerable speed, for fear of not reaching the emergency in time."
"Is he....is he OK?" Sam was praying and breathing deeply.
"He's in a critical condition, as are the other doctors involved, all from casualty I believe, and he's being operated on as we speak. I'm not sure how great our chances are." Meyer sounded unhopeful.
"But he can't? He can't die, we're engaged to be married." Sam was still stunned with disbelief.
"I'm sorry, Sam, there's nothing we can do. He is in the best hands, as I'm sure you're aware and if he can be saved, he will. Now do you want me to send someone up to be with you?" Sam was silent.
"Sam?"
"No, I'll be alright. What time is he due out of theatre?"
"We're not sure, there have already been complications. I'll come to see you as soon as I know anything further."
"Thank you" Sam whispered and placed down the receiver. She was still in shock and refused to believe it. Not Alex, not her Alex.
****
Sam sat at home, by herself, playing with the ring that Alex had given her weeks before. She watched it slip between her fingers and suddenly the light caught on it, and she noticed an engraving that she hadn't seen before, "With undying love, A". She felt another tear on her cheek. It wasn't the first time she'd cried, and she knew it wouldn't be the last. It was ironic that he'd been killed doing the thing that he loved most. He wasn't even supposed to be working, they have people in A&E who handle those situations but for some reason he went. They didn't even ask him, he just volunteered. It was his night off and I don't think anyone thought for one moment that anything would go wrong. It wasn't the fault of whoever was driving the ambulance, apparently the car just appeared out of nowhere. But it had taken his life, and stolen him from me, my love and my fiancé.
She wondered whether there'd ever be a moment when she didn't speak to him in her dreams and have little conversations with him in her head, when she wouldn't feel his presence and when she wouldn't relive every moment that they'd spent together. Everything they'd said, everything they'd done. She might move on, perhaps, but she knew she would never forget him. He would always be there, right besides her, and she loved him more and more every second. Maybe they would meet in some other world, and be together, for Sam knew that that was where they belonged. She loved him so much. She had only dreamed of loving someone that much, and he'd taught her how to do it, he'd shown her that it was possible and she knew she'd always love him. Part of him would always be in her heart and that would go with her through life and she knew that if she ever needed strength she could turn to him. She'd felt like she was flying when she was with him, it was insane, it was chaotic, it was... so
surreal and so incredibly and beautifully overwhelming.. And she became a better person for it. At times it had hurt like crazy. She had become a victim to her own feelings, emotions and passions, and not a ruler of them because she knew that she could not control what she felt, it was natural and it was what was meant to happen, and that is when the truth became obvious to her. No matter how shattered her life may now be without Alex by her, all she wanted now was for others to experience what she has felt. To become victims of their emotions, and to completely and entirely sacrifice themselves to others. To love, to be loved, and do something about it. She would never regret what happened with Alex, although obviously she missed him and loved him, but it had made her more aware of life, of love and of compassion. This is something he had taught her and for this she would be eternally grateful.
She put the ring in a drawer in her desk. She kissed her finger and then touched his lips on the smiling photograph of him on her desk and then she put the picture face down. "Goodbye Alex. I love you" she whispered, wiped the tears from her cheek and walked away.