Chapter Nine

Am I in too deep?  Have I lost my mind? I don't care you're here tonight.

-Enrique Inglasis (admits she has no clue how you spell his name.)

"So..." Max started out.  Logan turned around to face her.

"Anyway..." he answered.

"Guess we need to talk."  Max offered.  Suddenly Logan wasn't all too fond to have this conversation with her.

"You're probably tired.  It can wait.  You can use my bed tonight. I'm fine with the couch and I probably won't sleep much tonight anyway..." Logan tried.

"Come on Logan. You aren't going to chicken out on me are you?" Max smiled.  She understood exactly where he was coming from.

"You've changed so much." Logan stated standing up and tracing a finger down her cheek.  Max only stared back into his deep crystal eyes.  "I didn't think it was possible but you're even smaller then before.  And your hair..."  Max raised an eyebrow at his comment and he chuckled. "I like it." he assured and she smiled in answer. "Even your mannerisms are different.  Your more guarded now and less at the same time."  He let his hand rest cupping her cheek as he searched her deep depths, still the same chocolate but different.  "You're so grown up." he smiled at Max's dropped jaw.

"I guess raising a kid does that to you."  Max hinted.  She was fairly sure now that Danny was his child. 

Logan closed his eyes and turned away dropping his hand.  Max grabbed his hand as it fell and tugged lightly on his arm gesturing for him to follow her.  Logan resisted and so she brought her hand up to his cheek mirroring his earlier actions.  His eyes shot open and she smiled reassuringly at him, tugging once more on his arm.  Nodding he followed her.

She led them to his room and they both sat on the bed.  He was right, she was tired.  As she fought off a yawn he chuckled at her.

"You should sleep," he offered.  Max shook her head no, but took the opportunity to lie down anyway.  Logan got up to leave her but she grabbed his wrist and pulled him down to lie next to her.

"Comfortable?" he questioned with a smile.  Max nodded not breaking eye contact with him.

"I'm sorry." she tried again. 

"Me too." he added.

"I should have told you about her.  I shouldn't have left.  I'm sorry I hurt you.  I never wanted to hurt you."  She continued.

The moonlight danced across her face revealing the water glistening in her eyes.  She was more beautiful then than he had ever remembered her being. 

Max noticed his gaze intensify as he brought his hand out to her tracing her cheek again.  Max fought the urge to just close her eyes and let him distract her. 

"I know I shouldn't ask, I have no right to.  But can you ever forgive me?" she struggled out.

"I forgave you years ago Max." 

"I knew you'd say that."  Max giggled.

"Oh did you?"  Logan asked sliding closer to her as his gaze turned toward her lips.

"Logan.  Did you really?" she asked seriously.  Logan's eyes once more returned to hers.  Had he truly forgiven her?

"Yes Max.  I did." he answered honestly without hesitation.

"Danny's your son isn't he?"  Max asked suddenly.  Logan rolled over turning his back on her to hide.  "You had every right to move on Logan.  I would have kicked your ass if you didn't."  She added lightly to make him laugh.  He didn't respond.

Deciding to further her attempts at dragging him out, she slid up behind him and brought her arms around from behind to enfold him.  Lips pressed to his neck she continued.

"I won't lie to you Logan.  It threw me at first, and it did hurt.  But you needed to move on.  I understand.  And I don't think less of you for it."  She whispered fiercely.  Logan suddenly spun around and trapped her in his arms.

"No Max you don't.  I died when you left.  For years I waited for you to come back.  Years Max.  I can't just forget all the times I woke up thinking maybe today she'll come back.  The night Danny was conceived, Max it was our anniversary, the night you crashed into my life.  I wanted to hurt you like you'd hurt me.  But I never thought that Danny would result.  You want to know about my life.  You want to know about my hell."  Logan's voice continued to rise and his arms grew tighter around her. "My hell was waking up next to a woman I could never love in the same way, my hell was pretending to be the perfect family, knowing that even if you did come back we could never be together.  Your ghost ruined me Max.  Your ghost ruined what chance I had at happiness." he broke off shaking with rage at the woman locked in his arms.

"You're free." Max said quietly throwing him.

"What?" he questioned confused at her words.

"I'm releasing you or whatever you need.  Go.  Have that picket fence life," she continued.

"Hell Max, if it was that easy, I wouldn't be here right now.  If it was that easy, you wouldn't be here right now," he stated truthfully acknowledging the pull between them.

"Make it that easy then.  Hate me.  I deserve it and God knows it would be easier," she mumbled into his chest, hoping he would say no but unsure.

"It wasn't all bad.  Danny is wonderful.  And Asha and I had our moments.  Besides I like a challenge." he grinned hugging her closer as she inwardly sighed relief.

"Logan?"

"Yeah."

"Don't leave me?"  She had no right to ask and she feared he would deny her the comfort of his arms.

Smiling Logan pulled her closer in answer.