Please read!!
Author's Note: This is a first-person-present-tense-Janeway story. If you don't like Janeway, you won't like this story. This is originally a NC-17 story… and it's still pretty hot. Nothing graphical, though, but consider yourselves warned. :)
Thank you to Cress for helping me remake this story!
Pairings: Mainly J/C, a little J/Harry. Mention of P/T, D/7, and C/7. Don't let that frighten you though - it's not as bad as it sounds.
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Send any and all comments about this story to nameless_ensign@hotmail.com.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything in this story. No the story in itself, though. Not until they pay me for it, anyway. ;) And that will never happen.
To the journey (post Endgame)
PG-13 version
by Nameless Ensign (nameless_ensign@hotmail.com)
Part Four - Voyager B
Three weeks have passed since I went back to my mother's house in Indiana. The first thing I do every morning is to go outside. The phenomenon of weather and seasons is all new to me again, and I find it endlessly fascinating. My mother, on the other hand, gets up every morning, walks over to the window to see me standing in the garden staring at the sky or just smelling the wind, and shakes her head. She hasn't called any of the counselors yet, though, but I'm sure she thinks I'm a bit crazy. Come to think of it, I think she's always thought of me as a bit crazy.
Harry called me two days ago. I was surprised to say the least. He just smiled and said something along the lines of 'Thought I'd find you there'. Apparently, he had looked up 'Janeway' in the phonebook and had intended on calling every one of them until he found the right one. So very Harry-like. He's become very brave these last seven years. The Harry Kim I first met at Deep Space Nine wouldn't have done something like that. He was lucky, though, the first Janeway he called was indeed my mother. Still, I was surprised that he called at all, although I probably shouldn't be. He said his parents wanted to meet me, since he had talked so much about me. I wonder what he's told them... They wanted to invite me to dinner. But since Mum and I had planned to have some people over tonight, I invited Harry and his parents to join us for dinner instead. What a strange gathering it'll be. Harry Kim and his parents, me, Mum, Phoebe and her fiancé Steven (lovely man by the way, a blonde, handsome, intelligent artist, so much like Phoebe herself), and Mark and Layla. Layla is Mark's wife, the woman I first met three weeks ago. As it turns out, they now live in Mark's parents' old house, not far from my mother's house, and they were just taking a walk that day when they decided to stop by to see how my mother was doing. Layla is... very different from me. I think both she and I were relieved to find that out. I think she was a bit afraid to meet me and find out that Mark had chosen to marry a copy of his old fiancée. He hadn't. They seem to be much better for each other than Mark and I ever were, which makes me feel both happy and sad at the same time. But when the initial awkwardness wore off, I find she really is a lovely person. I like her.
Anyway, the food is in the oven, the table is set, I'm dressed in the new dress I got the afternoon I was going to the Paris' house. All that's missing now are the guests. And since they'll be here any minute I better join Mum downstairs.
I put my diary on my bedside table and make my way down the stairs. I find Mum sitting in the garden sipping a drink. I get a drink myself and then I join her.
I look up at the clear blue sky as I sit down beside her. "Lovely evening, isn't it?"
She looks at me, ignoring my words. "How are you doing, Kathy?"
I lower my head to look at her questionly. "What do you mean? I'm fine."
"I'm your mother. I know you better than that."
"I am fine, Mum. Really. It just... it feels strange. I guess I just have to get used to being on Earth again. And I miss my crew..."
"That's it, isn't it?" She pauses for a second before she continues. "In the letters you wrote from Voyager, you often spoke of your first officer, Chakotay. As if he were a friend."
"That's because he is."
"How come you haven't spoken of him once since you got back, then?"
I sigh. "He's recently become involved with Seven, you know the former Borg I told you about." She nods so I continue. "I think they probably want some privacy."
"And...?"
I sigh again, but can't help but smile at my mother. "I just don't feel very comfortable around them. It's a bit awkward for some reason."
She lifts her eyebrows and I know she is about to ask some question I won't be able to answer. Thankfully, Harry and his parents appear at the garden gate that moment. Eagerly, I get up and walk towards them. From the corner of my eye I can see that Mum is following me a few steps behind.
Harry is smiling broadly. "Captain!"
I'm wearing a smile to match his, and I open my arms. "Harry!"
He kiss my cheek and we embrace. It's a long, warm hug.
"How are you Harry?"
We hold each other at arms length, surveying each other, exchanging smiles and glances.
"I'm just fine, Captain. How are you? You look great."
Knowing Harry, and seeing his looks, that last sentence has a double meaning. He is referring to my looking healthy as well as my physical appearance. I flash him a half-fake shy smile. "Thank you, Harry. And my name is Kathryn." I wink at him.
He smiles and tilts his head a little, to acknowledge that. Then he turns towards his parents, who are watching us curiously. Suddenly, I realize that the way Harry and I greeted each other wasn't exactly professional, and that his parents might think I have some sort of hidden agenda with their young handsome son. Stealing a glance at my mother I find a similar expression on her face. Surely she doesn't think that I would... with a man more than ten years younger than me? An officer under my command? Obviously she does. I have to talk to her about that later.
"Mum, Dad... this is Captain Janeway...." He smiles and looks apologetically at me. "Sorry... Kathryn..." Harry flashes another smile in my direction and gestures towards his parents before he continues. "Kathryn, meet my parents."
I reach out to shake hands with Mr. and Mrs. Kim. They both embrace me, thanking me for bringing their son home. I repeat the words I said to Owen Paris, that we all did it together, but this time, my heart is filled with joy. Harry is standing beside us looking very pleased and... proud? Harry Kim is proud of me? Now there's a thought. A comforting thought, though, however strange it may be.
The evening is wonderful. I find that I laugh a lot, more than I can remember doing in a very long time. My mother and Harry's parents, who are almost the same age, get along wonderfully. I find myself talking mostly with Harry. I guess we both need to get a few things about coming back to Earth off our chests. After a wonderful dinner and dessert, I decide it's time we had coffee, so I excuse myself and go indoors to make coffee.
I don't notice Mark following me until he speaks. "So. What's with you and that handsome young ensign?"
I turn around and stare at him. "What?"
"Oh, come on, Kath. It's obvious Harry adores you. And you've spent almost the whole evening talking only to each other."
I almost laugh. "Mark. No. Whatever gave you that idea? We're friends. I don't know if Harry adores me, but if he does, it's not the way you think. And as for us talking, well... I guess we both feel like we don't really fit in anywhere on Earth anymore... or don't fit in here yet - I'm not sure which."
Mark is obviously feeling bold, perhaps he's had a glass of wine too many, I don't know. Or maybe I'm just not used to being asked questions like these. No one on Voyager would ever be this blunt with me. Except perhaps Seven.
"So who's the lucky guy, then? Don't tell me you've spent seven years alone."
"No, I haven't been alone." I smile at him sadly, before I continue. "But there is no lucky guy."
His eyes open wide at what he thinks I'm saying. "You're saying... you prefer girls now?"
"No. No, Mark, I don't. You've known me long enough to know my preferences." I smile a crooked smile at him. "It's rather complicated to explain, ok? Another time."
I see Mark open his mouth to say something, but right then the computer terminal in the living room alerts us of an incoming call.
"I'll get the call, you get the coffee. I still can't make good coffee." Mark says and leaves the room.
Saved by the bell, I think, and proceed to make coffee. But Mark calls me into the living room almost immediately. "Kath! It's for you!"
My thoughts immediately go to Chakotay. Damn that man for appearing in my thoughts all the time. I both hope it's him and hope it's not him. I feel both disappointed and relieved at the same time when I find that the face on the terminal screen is Admiral Owen Paris. "Owen!" I say, surprised.
"Hello, Kathryn. Do you have a minute?"
"Sure," I say and sit down.
"I know it's late but I just found out that a Voyager B is going to be built and you've been offered the position of her Captain. I thought you'd like to know immediately."
My face lights up and I see Owen Paris smile a content smile at my reaction. "I thought you'd be happy about it."
"Happy?! Owen, this is fantastic!"
"There's more. All members of your crew that wish to continue to serve under you will be allowed to do so. And all of you that wish to be a part of the building of Voyager B will also be allowed to do so. To make you all feel at home."
"Oh!" I really can't think of anything else to say. I'm so happy. I feel like I've just been given permission to return home.
"You're the first to be told. Well, Tom and B'Elanna know too. They told me to tell you that they're going to come with you. Miral, too. B'Elanna is already writing specifications for the engines."
I smile. Just like B'Elanna. "Thank you. Thank you so much! These are wonderful news."
"Of course, you won't be going off on any deep space missions for a while. Nothing further away than Bajor. I hope that's ok."
I smile. Seven years in the Delta Quadrant will make any mission seem like it's nearby. "I think we all will want to stay in close contact with Earth for a while."
"Good. There'll be a meeting about this some time next week, but I'll call you about that on Monday. Have a nice evening, Captain. "
"You too, Owen. Give my love to Tom, B'Elanna, and Miral. And thank you."
He nods and then the screen goes black. I sit there for a little while, trying to grasp what the Admiral just said. A Voyager B, built for us, by our specifications! I've got to go tell Harry!
I go outdoors to find Harry standing under the apple tree, talking to my mother about the tree. What a strange sight. But right now that's not important. "Harry! Harry, they're building a Voyager B. Admiral Paris just called me."
My heart fills with joy when I see his face light up like mine did when Owen told me the news. Harry doesn't say anything but simply scoops me up in a spontaneous hug. As he puts me down on the ground again, there is a moment of awkwardness between us and a strange look in his eyes that I find a little frightening. I realize that we're standing there, staring at each other, while everyone else is watching us. I snap out of it. "So you might have to start calling me Captain again pretty soon," I say, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yes, ma'am!" he replies, teasingly.
I look at him as sternly as I can at the moment. "It's not crunch time yet, Ensign."
"Speaking of which, when are you going to promote me?"
"How does next week sound?"
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