A/n: This is based on buffy's feeling of killing angel at the end of season 2 (Becoming Pt2) it's a poem, it's not that good but please review, i need feedback!!
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Desicions


The Portal is opening
i stand in front of him
sword in my hand
ready for the kill.

The portal is opening
something changes in his eyes
i see the one i loved
the murderer is gone

I can't...
won't believe it.
Have to stick to the mission
Have to stick to the plan.

Quick and easy,
thats how i said i'd make the kill
No looking back
no regrets
no wondering.

I was going to do it
kill him
send him to hell

The portal is opening
i stand in front of him
sword in my hand
but i can't move in...
move in to make the kill

He says my name
with love and confusion
he doesn't remember
he doesn't know...

I wish that i could freeze that moment
the moment that i had him
the moment he was back
but i can't,
i couldn't.

I told him that i loved him
put my lips on his
then i said 'close your eyes'

he obeyed.
trusting me.
believeing me.
loving me...

i kiss him once more
pull away as quickly as possible

i take the sword
i don't hesitate
don't stop
don't think

this is what i have to do
this IS what i do
i protect
i save the world.
no matter the cost.

I can't let everyone down...
so i shove the sword through his heart
i kill the thing that i love the most in the world.

his eyes open in pain..
no not pain,
just more confusion
just in a state of shock.

he reaches out to me
wanting me to help
not understanding...
not understanding that i was the one that stuck the sword through his gut.

He disapears...
goes to hell (literally)
and i'm left on earth
i'm left at home...
a home that doesn't really feel like home anymore.

So i cry.
I run.
I hide away from everyone
everything else.

and i relive that one moment
over and over again
in a millions different ways
every single day...
for eternity.