1 Chapter 17
There was a knock on the door. Beka woke up, moaning a bit in protest, but after another knock she gets up and heads over to the door. When she opens it, she is surprised when she finds Tyr standing there.
"Tyr?" she says.
"That is correct," he replies.
Beka just looks at him.
After a moment, Tyr asks, "May I come in, or are you just going to stand there?"
"Oh, sorry. Come in."
She steps off to the side and Tyr enters her quarters of the Andromeda. He finds his way to the couch and sits down. Beka follows and sits in a chair, opposite to Tyr.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Beka finally asks.
"I actually came to…apologize," he says.
"Apologize?" Beka was shocked when she heard him say that. "Apologize for what?"
"For thinking Harper was the father of your child."
Beka suddenly becomes uncomfortable and looks off to the side. At first she just moves around in her seat, then gets up and begins to pace the room slowly.
"Harper told you I was pregnant?"
"No, I heard you talking about it with him in the machine shop room not too long ago. I assumed he was the father, based on the conversation. He corrected me and I am embarrassed. So now I'm here. I'm sorry."
"Did he say anything else to you?" Beka asks—she seemed more concerned about something else than to notice that he had just apologized.
"No," Tyr says. "Is something else the matter?"
Beka looks up at him, "Why would you think that?"
"Because I just said I was sorry, something that doesn't happen everyday, and you didn't seem to notice it. I would've thought you would have at least said something to me when I said that. This leads me to believe that something it wrong. Now, is there?"
Beka sits down, staring away from Tyr. She doesn't say anything, and just stares at the wall.
"Beka," he says.
There is a pause, then finally, Beka speaks:
"I'm not…" she tries to begin. "I'm not going to have a baby."
"Why?" Tyr asks and sits up in his seat. "Don't you want a child?"
"I don't know…I mean, I thought about it and then I decided 'sure, why not?' and went on thinking about how it would kind of be nice to have a little kid for a change. Then…then it just went away, I guess you could say," Beka says, almost choking on her words. "The baby died because the universe is shit."
Tyr could tell she was holding back the tears in her eyes.
"God, I even had a name picked out and everything," she continues. "Life is cruel, you know that? It's just so damn cruel. Sometimes, I think its trying to deprive me of happiness, you know? I guess all my sins are catching up to me, and it's more than I can take."
Tyr gets up and walks over to Beka's seat. He sits down on the small table in front of her and makes her look at him.
"Sometimes life has a twisted sense of humor, I have found. But as they say, things always get worse before they get better. Just wait and see."
He gets up and walks towards the door. Beka looks at him go and gives a smile of some slight hope that he has just given her.
Before he leaves completely through the door, she speaks out to him, "Thank you. For the apology, I mean."
He stops and replies; "You're welcome."
The door closes, and Beka turns back and her thoughts begin to wonder, starting with her dream.
There was a knock on the door. Beka woke up, moaning a bit in protest, but after another knock she gets up and heads over to the door. When she opens it, she is surprised when she finds Tyr standing there.
"Tyr?" she says.
"That is correct," he replies.
Beka just looks at him.
After a moment, Tyr asks, "May I come in, or are you just going to stand there?"
"Oh, sorry. Come in."
She steps off to the side and Tyr enters her quarters of the Andromeda. He finds his way to the couch and sits down. Beka follows and sits in a chair, opposite to Tyr.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Beka finally asks.
"I actually came to…apologize," he says.
"Apologize?" Beka was shocked when she heard him say that. "Apologize for what?"
"For thinking Harper was the father of your child."
Beka suddenly becomes uncomfortable and looks off to the side. At first she just moves around in her seat, then gets up and begins to pace the room slowly.
"Harper told you I was pregnant?"
"No, I heard you talking about it with him in the machine shop room not too long ago. I assumed he was the father, based on the conversation. He corrected me and I am embarrassed. So now I'm here. I'm sorry."
"Did he say anything else to you?" Beka asks—she seemed more concerned about something else than to notice that he had just apologized.
"No," Tyr says. "Is something else the matter?"
Beka looks up at him, "Why would you think that?"
"Because I just said I was sorry, something that doesn't happen everyday, and you didn't seem to notice it. I would've thought you would have at least said something to me when I said that. This leads me to believe that something it wrong. Now, is there?"
Beka sits down, staring away from Tyr. She doesn't say anything, and just stares at the wall.
"Beka," he says.
There is a pause, then finally, Beka speaks:
"I'm not…" she tries to begin. "I'm not going to have a baby."
"Why?" Tyr asks and sits up in his seat. "Don't you want a child?"
"I don't know…I mean, I thought about it and then I decided 'sure, why not?' and went on thinking about how it would kind of be nice to have a little kid for a change. Then…then it just went away, I guess you could say," Beka says, almost choking on her words. "The baby died because the universe is shit."
Tyr could tell she was holding back the tears in her eyes.
"God, I even had a name picked out and everything," she continues. "Life is cruel, you know that? It's just so damn cruel. Sometimes, I think its trying to deprive me of happiness, you know? I guess all my sins are catching up to me, and it's more than I can take."
Tyr gets up and walks over to Beka's seat. He sits down on the small table in front of her and makes her look at him.
"Sometimes life has a twisted sense of humor, I have found. But as they say, things always get worse before they get better. Just wait and see."
He gets up and walks towards the door. Beka looks at him go and gives a smile of some slight hope that he has just given her.
Before he leaves completely through the door, she speaks out to him, "Thank you. For the apology, I mean."
He stops and replies; "You're welcome."
The door closes, and Beka turns back and her thoughts begin to wonder, starting with her dream.