Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me. I'm merely borrowing them. Any other characters are from my own imagination. I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.
Author's notes: As I was writing Finding Her Roots I began to realize that I hadn't really explained much of what happened on Gaea to bring the characters to the point where they are in that fic. So I decided to write a few one-shots that would be in the same continuum, but would also be able to stand alone. This is the first one. I hope everyone enjoys. Please comment!
Serena B. 2/09/02
Beginnings
Millerna Sara Aston-Fassa sighed. She was not a happy princess. There was so much that needed to be done but she didn't feel like doing any of it. Idly, she shuffled through a pile of documents that needed her urgent attention. She wasn't in the mood to deal with this stuff right now. Usually it didn't matter as her sister Eries would take matters into hand, but Eries had told Millerna sternly that it was high time she began taking her responsibilities seriously. She had also been suspiciously absent from the palace lately. Millerna didn't know what to do. She felt so weighed down with the burden of the kingdom resting on her slender shoulders.
"It's too much! I'm only sixteen!" she had exclaimed to Eries in a heated argument a few days earlier.
Eries had given her sister an impatient look. "King Van is only sixteen, yet, look what he's done for his people. Stop being so selfish, Millerna." To soften her rebuke, Eries had sighed saying, "You have it in you to be a great queen, Sister. I know you are young to have so many responsibilities foisted upon you. No, it's not fair. You don't have to like it; however, you have to accept things for the way they are or you will never find contentment."
"Damn her, anyway," Millerna muttered to herself. She didn't want to admit that what was really bothering her was the fact that she had seen the rightness in Eries' words. She sighed again, her thoughts turning to her husband. Even though Dryden had returned his wedding ring, they were still legally bound to one another according to Asturia's laws. She hadn't heard from him in months, ever since the end of the war. Supposedly, he was off building up his merchant fleet to its former glory. Even though she didn't want this marriage, she had to admit that she could have used Dryden's help right now. Damn him, too, she thought fiercely. Why does everyone have to run off and leave me just when I need them?
She was getting a crick in her back from sitting for so long reading over the hundreds of documents that the council had sent her. She stood, stretching her back, and walked over to the window. It was a beautiful day. She longed to go horseback riding, but she no longer had time for such idle play. With her father's increasing illness, she had been made to bear the brunt of the work of running the kingdom. In the distance she could see the dust from where they were working on rebuilding parts of the city that had been destroyed in the war.
She let her gaze wander over the palace grounds. She noticed three figures walking towards the palace. She was a bit surprised to see Allen and his sister, Celena, strolling along the path with Eries. Ah, so that's where you've been spending all your time at, Sister. She forced down a surge of jealousy remembering that she had decided to give up her feelings for Allen Schezar. After all, Allen only seen her as a child, a sister, and now that he had Celena back he spent all his time with her when he wasn't attending to his knightly duties. She knew the strange circumstances in which they were reunited; the palace was full of gossips, of course, but she had heard the tale directly from her sister. Eries had urged Millerna to make friends with the girl, Celena being the same age as herself, but Millerna was leery of the situation. Besides, I don't have time to make friends, she thought bitterly. She watched as Eries waved good-bye to Allen and Celena and made her way back into the palace. Taking note of the time, she realized that it was mid-afternoon; already time for her and Eries' daily meeting with their father.
~*~
Millerna and Eries sat in chairs besides their father's bed. They had spent the last half hour going over the plans for a new building in the city. Seemingly satisfied with the revisions, the king changed subjects.
"Hear anything from Dryden since he's left?" he asked Millerna.
"No, and I don't really care to talk about him, Father."
"I heard he was in Freid recently, working on some sort of trade agreement," Eries supplied.
Kiss-butt! Millerna seethed silently.
"Millerna, I want you to send for your husband. I think it's time he came back to his kingdom."
"But, Father, why do I have to send for him. Can't you send a summons?" she pleaded. Millerna thought that if she sent for Dryden, she was as much as admitting that she needed him. Well, maybe she did need help running the country, but she wasn't going to admit it to anyone, least of all that arrogant man.
"Eries, I'd like to speak with your sister alone." King Aston stated. His voice may have lacked strength, but his tone did not. Eries bowed to her father and quietly exited the room.
"Daughter, I think I've done a great disservice to you," he said to her once they were alone.
Millerna was shocked at these words; this is not what she had been expecting from her father. She waited to see what he would say next.
"I think I let you be spoiled too much for your own good, and now I'm paying the price for it. I want to see the man, and you are going to send for him. This time you'll do as you're told."
Ah, now there was the Grava Efud Aston she was accustomed to. Millerna sighed, knowing when she was defeated; this wasn't just a request from her father, it was an order from her King and as such she couldn't refuse.
~*~
Dryden Fassa didn't look too happy to be back in Palas. He had been in the middle of a lucrative deal with Freid when he had received her note:
Dryden,
King Aston is dying. You must make haste and return to Palas. Father would see you before he expires. We are awaiting your swift return.
Princess Millerna Sara Aston-Fassa
He hadn't known what to make of it. Dryden knew that King Grava Aston had been ill, but he certainly hadn't expected Millerna of all people to be tracking him down to fulfill his royal obligations; and using his name, no less. He hated taking time away from his business, but he knew he had taken on certain responsibilities when he had married Millerna. Of course, he hadn't married her for the crown. He wanted her; it was as simple as that. And Dryden was a man that was used to getting what he wanted. With years of hard work he had built up his fleet of merchant ships until they were among the most respected and wealthiest on Gaea. He figured winning the princess's heart would be easy compared to that; he didn't realize how wrong he'd been until he'd already committed himself to her in marriage.
What a fiasco, he thought to himself with uncharacteristic pessimism. Dryden entered the palace, ignoring the stares and whispered phrases from those he passed. His leaving had apparently caused some embarrassment for Millerna. Eries had written to tell him that Millerna was covering for him, saying that he had some business to attend to. She had too much pride to admit that he had left her, Eries said. Come back to Palas, she wrote, Millerna needs you. Ha. Well, I can be stubborn, too, Dryden had decided at the time, tossing the letter into the garbage.
But, now he was back much sooner than he would have liked to be, due entirely to circumstances beyond his control. Well, he admitted to himself that perhaps a part of him didn't mind coming back to Palas. After all, it seemed like forever since he had last seen her, even though it had only been a few months. And while her constant and stubborn refusal to have anything to do with him had hurt him, he found himself missing her more often than not lately. Truth be told, he'd grown rather fond of their arguments; that is until she'd resorted to throwing things just to get him to leave the room.
Dryden took a deep calming breath as he approached Millerna's personal quarters. He noted that the guard outside the door quirked an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything; wise decision.
"Is, my wife, Princess Millerna…in there?" he asked the guard, gesturing towards the door.
The guard was about to answer when the door opened and Millerna came flying out of it running face first into Dryden's chest. He reached out grabbing her upper arms in an effort to keep her from falling to the ground.
"Dryden…" she whispered when she looked up to see who she had run into.
He couldn't move. All he was capable of was staring down into her violet eyes. He swallowed and forced himself to gain control. "Are you that eager to see me, my love?" He couldn't help himself. He just had to instigate her.
Millerna couldn't believe her bad timing. She had practically fallen right into his arms! And, the nerve of him, to make such a comment to her when he knew perfectly well how she felt about him. Was there no end to the man's arrogance?
"Kindly remove your hands from my person," she said in a low voice.
"Growling doesn't become you, Princess," he returned with a chuckle although he did let her arms go. She stepped back from him immediately and looked towards the ground, refusing to meet his gaze. He had noticed the dark circles under her eyes, however, and for a moment he felt guilty for having left her for so long. She was young, after all, to have to be responsible for so much.
"My father said he wanted to see us together as soon as you arrived."
"Shall we, then?" he asked, offering her his arm. She hesitated for a moment before slipping her arm through his awaiting one. They quietly walked together towards the king's chambers.
"Thank you for coming so quickly," Millerna murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.
Dryden thought he must have heard her wrong. Millerna couldn't actually be thanking him for something. "Excuse me?"
"Oh, for goodness sake!" she cried, pulling away from him. "I was trying to show my gratitude, but apparently that's not good enough for you! Why can't you just say 'you're welcome' like any normal person?"
"Excuse me, little sister," they both jumped at the sound of Eries voice as she came from the doorway to her father's rooms, "but, if you are finished screeching at your husband, Father is waiting to see you."
"What about Dryden?"
"Father wished to speak to you alone first. Go on, I'll send him along shortly," she insisted, giving her sister a gentle push towards the doorway.
Eries waited until Millerna had disappeared into her father's rooms before she turned to speak to Dryden. "Why do you goad her so? You know she has a temper." Eries tone wasn't scolding, merely curious.
"Because…at least she isn't ignoring me if she's yelling at me."
Eries smiled at his wry humor. "My sister is still very much a child in some ways. Be patient with her; give her a chance to grow up, Dryden, and I think you'll be very happy with what you find." Dryden pondered Eries' words while he waited to be summoned into King Aston's chambers.
~*~
Millerna entered the bedchamber, cringing as she made her way closer to the bed where her father was propped up on a mountain of pillows. The room was dimly lit and it smelled of the King's impending death. "Father?"
"Ah, he's come then?"
"Yes, Father. Dryden's here. I'm rather surprised he came so quickly."
"You should show your husband a little more respect, Daughter. Maybe he won't run away again if you act like a proper wife."
"I married the man, didn't I? What else do you want?" she cried flippantly.
"Enough!" King Aston yelled. His outburst caused him to have a fit of coughing, but it had at least done its' job and silenced his youngest daughter's whining. He continued in a tired voice once he regained control of himself. "Millerna, I'm dying. When I'm gone, the country will be in yours and Dryden's hands. It doesn't matter now, the reasons why I chose him for your husband, but I'll tell you anyway. Meiden came to me with the idea first, of course. He had it so carefully planned out, you see. Dryden would bring Fassa's wealth to the treasury, and Meiden was happy because his son would receive the throne. Everyone would be getting exactly what they wanted."
"Not everyone, Father," Millerna firmly protested.
"Oh, I knew you would object, which is why I didn't immediately accept Meiden's offer. I remembered seeing Dryden once in a while with his father when he was a boy; but, I knew not what type of man he had grown into. So, I had information gathered on him."
"You spied on him?" she asked incredulously.
"Of course I did. I wasn't going to leave my kingdom to just anyone. I needed to know what kind of person Dryden Fassa had become. I know I haven't been the best king…or the best father. One of the reason's I wanted Dryden for your husband was because I realized he would make a good king for my people. He's ruthless when it comes to business, but he takes care of his responsibilities. The other reason was, I thought he'd match you well. You've always been much too spirited than is appropriate for your station; I was hoping Fassa's boy would have a calming influence on you."
"Father…I don't know what to say."
"I didn't expect you to. Now, go fetch that husband of yours."
~*~
They had been expecting it to happen any minute, so they weren't very surprised when the time finally came. Dryden, along with Princess's Eries and Millerna were woken in the middle of the night and summoned to King Aston's bedside. The room was lit only by candles, the soft glow reflecting the somber mood in the room. He lay unconscious; his breathing labored as those gathered around looked on expectantly. They didn't have a long wait before the king stopped breathing altogether. The silence in the room was deafening.
"Is he…" Eries whispered.
Millerna tentatively reached out to his wrist and felt for her father's pulse. "He's gone," she said calmly, but the tears gathered in her eyes betrayed her distress. "My father is dead."
"Your Majesty, we should make arrangements for your official coronation," someone said. It took Dryden a moment to realize they were speaking to him. I suppose I am king, now, he thought distractedly.
"Have you people no respect? My father is dead! Your King is dead!" Millerna cried letting the tears flow freely down her face.
"No, my Queen, your King stands before you," Meiden Fassa said, indicating his son.
"That's enough," Dryden said quietly but firmly. "Get out, all of you. Let them grieve in peace." He waited as everyone exited the room before looking back at the two grieving sisters. They were holding hands; Millerna was openly sobbing, gripping her sister's hand tightly as Eries cried silently letting the tears slide down her porcelain complexion. Eries looked back at him, and must have caught the uncertain look in his eyes; he wanted to comfort Millerna, but he knew she would refuse him if he approached her. She gave Millerna's hand a gentle tug and led her over to where Dryden stood. Millerna seemed unaware when Eries pried her hand away from her tight grip; she was crying so hard.
"Go to your husband," Eries commanded quietly, her voice trembling from her own grief. After giving her sister over to Dryden's care, Eries exited the room quietly, leaving the two of them alone. He reached out, putting his arms around Millerna and was surprised when she melted into his embrace, wrapping her own arms around his middle and laying one side of her face against his chest. He let his hand roam over her hair, petting the silky tresses rhythmically in an effort to calm her down.
"My father is dead, Dryden," she whispered, when her tears had subsided.
"I know."
"You are King now," she said. "I suppose you've finally gotten what you wanted."
He pushed back from her and, taking her face in his hand, he tilted her chin to force her to look up into his eyes. "Is that what you think of me? That I came here for the bloody crown?"
She was stunned at his sudden anger she saw in his eyes; she had never seen Dryden angry before. "Well, your father-"
"I am not my father," he said hotly. "You take the crown if you're so damned concerned about it. The only reason I agreed to marry you, Millerna, was because…well, it doesn't matter anymore. I had hoped that you might eventually come to feel something for me; but, perhaps I'm only fooling myself."
She stepped back, disentangling herself from his grip. "You…you don't love me, Dryden. You don't even know me. If you did love me, you wouldn't have forced the marriage in the first place. And, I can never love you because you did. I never wanted this marriage." She turned her back on him then and went to stand by the open window, the soft breeze blowing tendrils of her hair about her face. "Please, leave. I'd like to be alone now."
Perhaps we are both fools, he thought to himself as he left the room, but I refuse to be stuck in a loveless marriage. Dryden was determined to make things work between the two of them, even if she wasn't.
~*~
Unfortunately, the next few weeks were busy ones, for both Millerna and Dryden. Their quarters were moved to that of the King's and the Queen's. Millerna found it odd going into her mother's old rooms; they had been shut up since the time of her death. The palace staff had done their jobs well, she thought. The rooms looked good for not having been used for so many years. There was a doorway that connected a passageway from the king's bedroom to hers. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, but she left it unlocked as if daring her husband to use it. So far, he hadn't. In fact, she hadn't seen much of him since the night her father had died. She supposed the council was keeping him so busy so that he didn't even have time to take his meals with her. She did a fairly good job of convincing herself that he wasn't deliberately avoiding her. She did a better job convincing herself that she didn't care.
She sighed and glanced around the room. Almost all new furniture, including a new bed, had been made for her because the wood had rotted away on most of the old. Millerna sat at the vanity, tracing her finger over her own reflection in the mirror. This set was one of the only pieces left that had actually belonged to her mother. In the mirror, she noticed Eries had entered the room, coming to stand behind her.
"Millerna? Everyone is waiting for you."
Ah, yes, the coronation. "I know, I was just about to get up," she said with another tired sigh. Eries put a hand on her shoulder and, leaning over Millerna, grabbed a silver brush from the vanity. "They can wait a little longer, I suppose," she said. She began to brush through Millerna's golden hair in long, rhythmic strokes. "Remember when we were little? When I would brush your hair like this?"
In the mirror Millerna could see her sister smiling fondly. "Yes, and Marlene would brush yours," she recalled with a smile of her own. "I miss those days. Everyone was happy then," she said wistfully.
"I miss them, too. The world changes, though. We can't stay children forever."
"I'm not asking for forever, Eries. Just a few years, that's all I needed. I wanted to finish my medical studies and become a doctor; I wanted to help people."
"But, Millerna, think how many people you'll be helping as Queen. You'll be able to do a great deal more good than if you were only a doctor. Besides, if you work together with Dryden, and let him help you with things, you'll still have time for your medical studies. Why must you choose between being just a queen or a doctor? Why not be both?"
Millerna contemplated her sister's words before replying. "But…I haven't even spoken with him lately. I think he's been avoiding me."
"Well, I can't say I blame him, after the way you've been treating him."
"After the way I treated him! Have you been talking with him?" she asked suspiciously.
Eries nodded. "He came to me a while ago asking for my advice on a certain subject."
"The kingdom?"
"…No. You."
"Me?" Eries watched as her sister's eyes widened in surprise in the mirror's reflection.
"He told me he wanted to find out more about you. He said something about 'knowing one's opponent.'" Eries turned, hiding her amusement when she saw the outraged expression on her sister's face.
Ooh, the nerve of that man! "Well, what did you tell him?" Millerna demanded.
"Hm? Oh, nothing of consequence. What is it about him that you find so disagreeable, anyway?"
Millerna swung around on the bench to stare up at her sister disbelievingly. "Are you jesting? His personality for one thing; he's an arrogant know-it-all who never seems to take anything seriously. Not to mention, he has this irritating and constant habit of purposely aggravating me whenever we are in each other's presence."
Eries sighed impatiently. "Millerna, did you ever stop to think why Dryden teases you?" Millerna gave her a blank look. "He only does it because he likes you. And, I think if you made an effort to get to know him better, you'd actually find out that there is a lot more to him than you give him credit for."
She had to admit, it wasn't so much Dryden himself that she had objected to, it was being forced into marriage that she hadn't found particularly appealing. After all, she didn't know him very well. Maybe she could try to be a little bit friendlier with him.
"I just want you to be happy, Millerna."
"Since when did you start concerning yourself about my happiness? I thought all you cared about was whether or not I was performing my duties."
Eries was silent for a minute before she replied. "I realize that it may have seemed like I wasn't very supportive in the past, and maybe that's true. I wasn't trying to make you unhappy, though; it's only because I worry about you that I discouraged you from certain things. I was wrong, though and I'm sorry, Millerna. I hope you can forgive me."
"Eries, of course I forgive you," she said taking her sister's hand in her own and giving it a squeeze. "Don't mind me; I've just been in a bad mood lately." Millerna sighed, rising from the bench, her voluminous skirts swishing about as she moved. "Now, let's get going, before they decide to start without me," she said giving Eries a smile. As she started forward she nearly tripped over the hem of her skirt. "This dress is ridiculous," she complained under her breath.
Eries laughed. She couldn't help herself; she knew Millerna hated wearing such formal attire.
"And what are you laughing about? I don't see you all trussed up." Indeed, instead of a dress, Eries was only wearing a knee-length skirt over a pair of pants with a dress blouse. She had adopted the style from Millerna and found it to be quite comfortable.
"I'm not the one being crowned Queen today," Eries replied smartly.
"Yes, well, our dress code's the first thing I'll be changing," she said, grinning. Eries grinned back, happy to see her sister looking a little bit like her old self again.
"Are you trying to be fashionably late at your own coronation?" Dryden asked from the doorway, also grinning.
He must have been listening, Millerna thought, momentarily horrified. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked suspiciously.
"Only long enough to hear your complaints about your gown," he replied.
"We really should be leaving," Eries said. "Half the city is waiting on you two."
Millerna rolled her eyes and gathered up the front of her skirts so that she wouldn't trip over them again. The three of them walked together in silence. Eries walked a little ahead of them, allowing Millerna and Dryden a bit of privacy as they strolled along beside one another.
Try to be friendly, she repeated to herself. "How do you like your new rooms?" she asked him casually.
"They're nice, I suppose. I'm converting one of the outer chambers into an office area."
This isn't so bad. "Oh. Um…so, where have you been spending your time, lately? I haven't seen you around the palace."
He looked down at her, flashing her a quick grin. "Afraid I might have left you again?"
"N-no!" she stammered, a slight blush coming to her cheeks. Damn the man! Why does he have to ruin everything?
He let out a low chuckle. "Careful, love, you're getting all flustered."
"You're insufferable!" she whispered fiercely to him. "And you still didn't answer my question."
"Ah, well, I've been taking care of some things to do with my business. I've also been reorganizing your father's library. There's quite a selection of books in there, many I already have in my own collection, but they are hopelessly disorganized. It's a wonder anyone could ever find anything in that mess."
"Is that all you've been doing? Reorganizing the library?"
"No. I went on a tour of the city last week, to see how the repair work is coming along. But, mostly, I've been bogged down in paperwork. You know, Kingly Duties and all that."
"Yes, well, I know how that can be," she murmured, chewing on her bottom lip as she contemplated something.
"What is it?"
"What's what?"
"You look like you wanted to say something."
"Um, well, yes. I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tomorrow. So that we could discuss some things. Asturia related things." Great, now I'm babbling.
She's asking you to dinner. This is certainly unexpected. Don't panic and say something you'll regret. "I suppose that could be arranged."
No smart comments? Maybe dinner together won't be so unbearable after all. "Thank you."
~*~
Dinner had gone well, the both of them only managing to insult each other minimally. Millerna was exceedingly proud of herself for her behavior; she had restrained herself from strangling her husband several times. After a while, she had ceased being angry at his comments as she realized it was draining too much of her energy. Instead she tried a different tactic; she would smile serenely and then continue on with whatever she had been saying as if she hadn't even heard him. This seemed to work well, catching him off guard at first and then he stopped trying to irritate her altogether after he realized that she wasn't going to rise to his bait any longer.
After that, the rest of the meal had been a breeze. Millerna found herself talking about her sisters and their childhood in the palace. In turn, she listened while Dryden told her of the years he had spent building up his mercantile fleet. She could tell from the tone in his voice that he had been very proud of his accomplishments. This only brought on a feeling of guilt as she remembered that he had given it all up for her. Oh, he had said at the time that he had done it for Van, but she knew better. He had only offered after she had looked to Allen for help, after all. And, what had she given him in return for this grand gesture? Well, she had married him, but she hadn't been much of a wife to him since.
Maybe that is something I should correct, she had thought as she lay in bad later that evening. After all, he wasn't a bad man. In fact, he was very considerate of her most of the time; letting her have as much freedom as her station allowed, that being more than her father had ever permitted. Actually, he hadn't really tried to tell her what to do at all, so far. Perhaps it wasn't so bad being married to Dryden. If she had gotten her way and married Allen, he would have only tried to shut her up in a little glass case for her own protection.
"Allen," she murmured, waiting for the familiar pang in her heart that thoughts of him would inevitably invoke. But it hadn't come, confusing her feelings all the more. She had tossed and turned the rest of the night finally falling asleep as the first signs of light came filtering through the bedroom window in the wee hours of the morning.
She wandered into the library the next afternoon looking for her husband. She spotted him immediately. He was sitting on a couch, a thick volume open in his lap. There were a great many other books spread on the table in front of him. She glanced at him sideways as she continued on past him into the room. She went over to the section where the anatomy books were, pretending to look for something. "These are all rearranged," she remarked loudly.
"I know. I told you I was reorganizing the library," he said not taking his eyes from his book. It wasn't that he was really concentrating, he couldn't. The moment she had waltzed into the room his attention had been on her. Millerna was wearing a lilac dress, he thought she should always wear that color; it complimented her eyes just so. The light scent of violets drifted towards him and he realized that she was coming back his way.
She sat down next to him and opened a book she had gotten off of one of the shelves. They were quiet for several minutes; each seemingly engrossed in their own tomes. She sighed loudly and shifted on the seat. A few minutes later she repeated the action. After the third time Dryden became suspicious that she might be trying to get his attention.
"Something wrong?" he inquired, looking up her.
"Not at all, why would you think that?"
"You're fidgeting. Also, you've been on the same page since you opened that book nearly ten minutes ago. Not to mention, it's upside down."
Millerna's eyes widened as she glanced down at the book only to realize that it was indeed upside down. She slammed it shut and tossed it onto the table, blushing furiously. "Actually, there is a matter that I would speak to you about." Dryden didn't say anything; he gave her his full attention and patiently waited for her to continue. She cleared her throat and looked down at her lap where her she was idly twiddling her thumbs. "I…I want to know what you think about me."
He laughed lightly. "I think you are a little selfish, you have a bad temper, and are perhaps a bit too spoiled." He noticed the tears in her eyes and he put his palm against her cheek wiping away moisture with his thumb. He gently tilted her face up so that he could look into her eyes. "I also think you are intelligent, your doctoring skills prove your love of learning. You are extraordinarily brave; you defied your father for what you believed was right. You have also shown great compassion and loyalty for those you call your friends. And, I think you are the most beautiful creature I've ever come across."
She felt her cheeks grow rosy once again as she looked into his eyes. It was the way he was looking at her, with such emotion, that made her feel a bit overwhelmed. She awkwardly mumbled some sort of thank you to him and abruptly fled the room. She may have had her question answered, but she felt more confused than ever.
~*~
She was crying again. The passageway that connected their rooms only served to amplify the sound. Every so often, since they had moved into their new rooms, he was treated to a concert of Millerna's sobs which would inevitably deteriorate into sniffles and then silence as she finally cried herself back to sleep. He wanted to ease her suffering, but he wasn't sure how to go about it. He thought about telling Eries, but he suspected she already knew; not much got past her, he was beginning to realize. He let out a sigh and turned facedown on the mattress, putting a pillow over his head to muffle the sound. It didn't help; her cries were etched into his memory. Finally, he couldn't take it any longer. He decided he only had one choice; he'd use the passageway into her room and take it from there. If she threw a tirade at him, at least she wouldn't be crying anymore.
She was asleep. He'd never seen anyone cry in their sleep before. Carefully, he sat on the edge of the bed. She was lying on her side with her back to him, her legs tucked up to her chest and her golden hair spread out behind her. Tentatively, Dryden reached out and caressed her back in a soothing gesture. After a few minutes of this, her sobs had quieted somewhat, but she continued to cry silently, the tears spilling over her face and soaking her pillow. Dryden decided to try a different tactic; he lie down beside her and put his arm around her waist, lightly so as not to alarm her. At first, she stiffened at his touch, but after a minute her body began to relax in his arms. He lay very still, afraid of waking her. Soon, she stopped crying altogether and her breathing became even as she passed into a deeper sleep. Dryden sighed; he didn't want to leave her, but he knew that if she woke up and found him in her bed she would never forgive him. Reluctantly, he got up from her bed to make his way back to his own.
"Where are you going?" Her voice startled him. He turned around so fast he almost hit his head on the door. She was still lying exactly as he left her; curled up with her back to him.
"I…thought you were asleep," he said, recovering from his shock.
"…I wasn't." As she turned to face him, the moonlight reflected off of the tearstains on her pale skin. "Why are you leaving?"
He took a step closer to the bed. "I didn't think you'd want me here," he replied honestly.
She rolled over, once again turning her back on him. "I don't mind so much," she said quietly.
Dryden sat down on the edge of her bed again, feeling a bit awkward. It had been different when he thought she had been sleeping. With a sigh, he once again stretched out his long frame next to her shorter one.
"You can put your arm around me, if you like."
Dryden reached over, once again settling his arm around her waist. His hand accidentally brushed the underside of her breast, but she didn't say anything, only let out a little sigh. He didn't know what to make of her sudden change in attitude towards him; inviting him to dinner, seeking him out in the library, and now allowing him to sleep in her bed. She had told him that she didn't love him, could she be having a change of heart? He didn't know. That he really didn't care at the moment was his last thought before he drifted off to sleep.
~*~
Someone was hissing in his ear. It took him a minute to realize it was Millerna, trying to wake him up. He opened his eyes slowly. She was standing over him, looking down at him.
"It's about time. Don't you have somewhere to be or something?"
Ah, so she's trying to get rid of me already. He yawned, stretched lazily, and rolled over, pulling the covers more firmly about himself. "Nope," he said, closing his eyes and looking for all the world as if he wouldn't mind sleeping all day.
"Dryden!"
He opened one of his eyes and looked up at her, assuming an innocent expression. "What?"
"One of my maids or someone might come in and see you. Don't you think it would be prudent of you to go back to your own room?"
"Why? We're married, what does it matter if I'm in your room?" he asked as he sat up. The covers pooled about his waist revealing his bare chest. His hair was down, falling over one shoulder, and his glasses were absent. Altogether, Millerna thought the change was magnificent. She caught herself staring but she couldn't seem to look away.
"Millerna? Are you alright?" She forced herself to focus on his face. He was grinning at her. Oh, wonderful, she thought sarcastically as she felt herself flush.
"Get out of my room!" she screeched.
"No. Not until you tell me what's been bothering you," he said, turning serious all of a sudden.
"The only thing bothering me right now is you."
He ignored her remark. "Millerna, something is obviously wrong or else you wouldn't be crying yourself to sleep at night. Why don't you let me help you?"
"I don't need you."
"That didn't seem to be the case last night."
Suddenly she burst into tears. Startled, Dryden stood and pulled her into his arms. "I always seem to say the wrong thing," he muttered as he tried to comfort her.
"I don't want to need you, Dryden. But," she continued with a sniffle, "I do. I need you. I can't do everything on my own. Please don't leave me again."
Dryden wasn't sure how to respond. "What makes you think I'd leave you?"
She laughed in between a sob and a hiccup. "You have before," she reminded him.
"I must have been out of my mind at the time, but I promise never to leave again. Is that all that's been worrying you, sweetheart?"
Normally she would have objected to the endearment, but she decided she didn't mind so much as long as he kept holding her. "No. It's just…everything, I guess." She let out a little sigh when he began to rub her back in circles.
"Are you feeling better now?"
"Uh-huh." She snuggled a little closer to him in his arms, resting herself against him. "I like this," she murmured. Dryden grinned; he wasn't sure if she realized that she had voiced that thought aloud. He wanted to kiss her, but he wasn't sure how she would react so he decided that he was content just holding her in his arms.
"Millerna, yesterday you asked me what I thought of you. I think it's only fair that you do the same for me."
"I…I'm not sure what to think. Sometimes I think you are the most arrogant man that's ever been born. But, you're generous. And smart. And responsible." She sighed and stepped away from him so that she could look into his eyes. "You're not at all what I wanted all those months ago. But I find myself wanting different things now."
Well, she wasn't professing undying love for him, but it was a start. He felt his small spark of hope flare a little bit brighter at her words. Slowly, he lowered his face to hers so that their mouths were touching ever so slightly. He kissed her and she didn't protest.
The End