My Callisto

by Nikki Bryn

See how daughter follows in mother's footsteps. Eve and Virgil go on a journey that takes them to Tartarus and back again.

4. Hurts like Fire

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters here that appear in the hit syndicated TV Show, Xena: Warrior Princess. I do, however, own any and all original characters.

Summary: Eve has a secret, and it will cost her everything to keep it safe.

My Callisto

By

Nikki Brin

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Eve leaned forward; her perfectly shaped lips just inches from Virgil's, and brought her hand up to stoke his tanned face. The tall man ran his fingers through her unruly hair as they leaned forward. Just before their lips made contact--

"Mom! Mom, it's raining through the skylight!"

Eve inwardly cursed and pulled back from Virgil, looking to her daughter with an exasperated expression playing across her face. "That's impossible, honey, the skylight is covered."

"Not anymore…" Callie pointed to the aperture in the ceiling, where water was currently leaking through. Eve wrapped a towel around her body and climbed out of the water with Virgil right behind her.

As they walked toward the middle of the cavern, Virgil couldn't help but stare at Eve's towel-covered backside. Oh, nice! He thought, and then inwardly smacked himself hard across the face. Okay, think cold river… think freezing cold bath in freezing cold river…

Eve wandered under the hole and saw that the leaves that had been covering it were now mysteriously gone. "Well… just let me get dressed and we'll fix that, okay?"

The woman couldn't help but grin as Virgil unsuccessfully stifled a groan at the proposition that she get dressed…

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Gabrielle chuckled as she and Xena lay in their bedroll.

"And what is so funny, my bard?" queried the warrior, running her callused hands up and down Gabrielle's arms by sheer habit.

"I was just thinking."

"About what?"

The bard turned around so she was facing her warrior. "After all we've been through, all—all the people we've met and the places we've been… I still can't get over how perfect my life is. We've suffered through deaths, births—" she had to chuckle again at that one "—and catching up on our beauty sleep for twenty-five years, but if I could go back and change anything I wouldn't. Do you feel the same way?"

Xena grinned and kissed Gabrielle lightly. "Of course I do. There's no other place I'd rather be than here, lying in a bedroll while it's as cold as a Scandinavian winter outside, talking with my annoying little blonde lover."

Gabrielle laughed and smacked Xena on the arm. "You better hope for your sex life that you're being sarcastic."

"Oh, I am."

"Brat."

"Baby."

"Sneak."

"Shrimp."

"Monster."

Xena stopped and gave her lover a devilish smile. "A monster am I? Well, let's just see how bad this monster can be…" She dove under the covers and began tickling Gabrielle's feet without a hint of mercy.

"AAAH!! Save me from the monster!" cried the bard, twisting around in the bedroll.

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Eve and Virgil walked around the little hole three times, trying to figure out who had mysteriously stomped the bushed. "Maybe an attack deer or something like that got at it," suggested Virgil with a goofy smile.

"Har-har… actually, looks more like the shrubs got stepped on, see? Here and here are the tracks," said Eve, pointing to the squished plants. She bent over, putting her hands on her knees, to inspect the tracks, seeing that they were some kind of donkey or maybe horse hoof-prints.

Virgil came over to stand next to her, after stealing yet another good look at her butt as she bent over, and nodded in agreement. "Yeah… I guess." He then bent down so his head was level with hers. "But ya know, wolverines do pay high prices for deer sentries."

Eve chuckled, shaking her head. "You are such a dreamer."

But as she thought about it, Eve realized that that was something she lov—liked about Virgil; he was always willing to accept the unexplainable. Verus had been something of a dreamer, but he would never find pictures in the stars or try to explain the unexplainable. Ares… Ares had never shown any signs of even thinking about things that were unexplained. Yet, Virgil had the mind of a child and she really enjoyed that part of him.

The sensation of Virgil's hand brushing against hers brought Eve out of her reverie. "I'm glad you're a dreamer, Virg'."

Virgil smiled, reveling in the closeness of her body. He studied her posture, the way her feet were set, her shoulders up, her head held high. She never slouched or hung her head. Her composure showed that she was a strong, independent woman. That was one thing he lov—liked about her. She wasn't afraid to be a woman, and a strong one at that. He had never seen her back down at the cold glare of a man, or even waste the breath to argue with a man for that matter.

Their unconscious thoughts drove them to look at each other, which was a feeling that they complied to whole-heartedly.

Virgil was the first to move, brushing his lips ever so slightly with hers. He then drew her closer in a more aggressive kiss, running his hands through her dark hair.

Eve pulled away, looking into his eyes and the depth of his soul. There she saw a gentleness, a caring that she had never seen before. Verus had showed signs of that soft, caring feeling, but for some reason Virgil's eyes seemed to glow with it. But there was also a hint of uncertainty, as if even he didn't know what he was doing or getting himself into. That look of fear increased her doubts that this man loved her the same way that she loved him, kiss or no kiss. "Virgil… are you sure this is right? I mean, after all…"

Virgil put a finger to her lips, leaning down so his towering height didn't put so much of a barrier between them. "Eve, over the last few days I've seen a side of you that I'm guessing you've never shown to many. I feel like I can say anything to you, because you understand. A part of me is unsure, I admit that, but isn't that little uncertainty in every relationship, no matter what the circumstances?" He paused and licked his lips nervously. "What I'm trying to say is… I--"

"Aw… how sweet, two kiddies in love," barked a rough voice.

Eve whirled around and Virgil stood up straight. A group of about ten soldiers had surrounded them, each with that wretched picture of Medusa engraved into their armor.

"You people are getting very annoying," muttered Virgil, reaching behind his back and picking up a large branch.

"Satri wants that child, and what Satri wants, Satri gets," said the man who was seemingly the new leader. "Surrender the child and no harm will come to you." He drew his sword, waving it before Eve and Virgil threateningly.

"Oh, don't you know that that line never works?!" groaned Eve before kicking the legs out from under the man nearest to her. "And you better stay down!" The woman spun around and punched another man across the face, knocking him to the ground. Turning, she gasped as a fist abruptly came in contact with her cheek, sending her flying back into a tree with a sickening crack.

"Eve!" cried Virgil, looking over his shoulder at the ailing woman as he kicked the leader in the groin. The large soldier moaned and fell to the ground.

Eve was about to reply that she was alright, but an arrow came out of nowhere and found the flesh just above her left breast, piercing her lung. She looked down at the wound in shock, almost not believing this was real. A gasp slipped from her lips as frothy bubbles of red blood spilled down her chin and neck, and onto her hand. Her legs once again failed her, and she collapsed.

Watching her lie there, mortally injured, Virgil felt a fury he had never felt before. He had felt something like it when his father had been killed, but this was different. It was a rage for losing the one he loved with all his heart, the one who had captured his soul with her own. He roared and snapped another branch from a nearby oak tree, making sure the edge was as sharp and as pointed as possible. The tall man glared at the soldiers around him before jamming the pointed branch into the man closest to him, which happened to be the archer who hit Eve.

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Xena shivered as she felt Gabrielle's cold feet snake onto her leg. "Damn it, Gab, that's cold!" she said, pushing the feet away.

Gabrielle moaned in her sleep and wrapped her arms around Xena's neck, pulling the warrior close, and stuck her feet back onto her leg.

The warrior flinched at Gabrielle's cold hands and feet. "You do that just to annoy me, don't you?" she accused with a smile.

The bard nodded and shifted even closer to her warrior, cringing as the chilly leathers provided her with little warmth. At least the fire's burning, she thought.

SPLASH!

Xena quickly looked up into the now-wet coals of their fire. "Now you've gone and put out our fire? Tsk, I've had about enough of you guys," said the warrior, jumping from the bedroll and kicking a man in the kidney.

He groaned, peed in his pants, and fell to the ground unconscious.

"Well, that's one way to do it," mused Gabrielle before ducking a scythe blade. She drew her sais, twirling them menacingly.

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"YAAARGH!" Virgil stabbed another soldier in the chest, hands shaking with rage. "Tell Cesarius I said 'hello'." He whirled around and caught another man in the shoulder, pulling his arms up and ripping the man's bone and flesh until his stick came out on top of the man's shoulder.

The last soldier twirled his sword, and then gasped as Virgil's branch embedded its sharp point into his chest. He was dead moments after he hit the ground, falling right into a pool of his and his comrades' blood.

Virgil turned and ran over to Eve, taking her into his arms and cradling her gently. "Oh god… oh god… Eve no!" he sobbed, pulling her to his chest. The man could feel her warm blood leaking into his own shirt and onto his skin.

Eve's eyes were closed, her mouth, chin, and neck covered in blood; her breathing getting more ragged and shallow by the second. "Virgil…" She looked up at him through hooded blue eyes, which were rapidly growing mistier.

"Yes, Eve?"

She smiled weakly and winced as he shifted her in his arms.

"Sorry," he said quickly, brushing her wild locks of hair out of her blood. "You're gonna fine, just fine… we'll get you to the Athens hospice and--"

"Virgil… look after Callie for me? She loves you," Eve interrupted, fighting the blackness that had begun to consume her. "She needs you." Her breathing was ragged, her entire body seizing from the immense pain, though her mind could not register it.

"I need you, I need you," replied the man, kissing her cold forehead. His voice broke, tears streaming down his face and onto Eve's. "You're gonna be alright, Evie. We'll just stop the bleeding and—"

"Promise me you'll take care of her?" interrupted Eve weakly. She reached up and stoked his face gently. The darkness was moments from taking her into the Other Realm.

"Of course I will, Eve."

"I'm… so… c-c-old," whispered the woman.

Virgil couldn't help it as tears streamed down his face. Her hand continued to stroke his face, coming to rest on his cheek. "Don't go..."

"And Virgil… I lov-" She was unable to finished her sentence before her hand fell away from his cheek, landing on the ground with a dull thud.

Virgil's stomach did a back flip and he gagged, holding back the contents of his stomach as they tried to head northward.

He saw visions of Eve flashing before his eyes, ending with a lingering memory of her smile. He looked down at her, enveloped in his arms, and his mind began to scream words that had no meaning. "EVE!" cried Virgil at the top of his lungs, following by an agonized scream, his very soul wailing in despair.

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Xena halted her battle for one split second as Virgil's distressed cry reached her ears. Her mind panicked, she lost all interest in this fight and killed the man she had currently been battling with a quick swipe of her sword. She looked to Gabrielle, who was in the same state of utter and complete fear.

"Oh Eli no," said the warrior, sending a silent prayer to her long-dead friend. She finished off the last of the men with her chakram and, after grabbing it out of the air, she and Gabrielle took off towards the sound of Virgil's voice.

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It didn't take them ten minutes to get where Virgil was, their feet seemingly swallowing the ground whole. Xena didn't doubt that divine intervention caused them to get there in five minutes instead of five hours. They stopped a couple feet away from Virgil and Eve, eyes widening in horror.

Virgil was hunched over Eve's lifeless body, his own body covered in blood from trying in vain to stop the bleeding even after she had died. His head rested heavily on her chest, caked in blood. He sobbed uncontrollably and didn't even acknowledge the two approaching women. Then, rain began to pour down on them, only succeeding in making the situation even more bleak and miserable.

Xena knelt next to her daughter's limp form, feeling the tears well up in her eyes. "Virgil…" she began, feeling her hands start to shake.

"She's gone. I should've protected her, but she's gone. It's all my fault," sobbed the grieving man, his body shaking. He held up the bloody arrow, which he had carefully removed from Eve's chest just after she died.

"Virgil?" squeaked a tiny voice.

The man turned around to find Callie standing there with a blanket wrapped around her small shoulders. "Callie…"

"What happened to Mommy, Virgil?" asked the small child.

Virgil looked at Eve's pale face and swallowed another sob. "She's gone to be with your father again, Callie."

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Light shone through the aperture in the ceiling, spilling onto Eve's pale face. Newly-bloomed flowers were placed all around her makeshift coffin, which had been positioned inside the cavern where they had been camping.

Four different items had been put around the coffin in honor of Eve's memory. One was a fish-like symbol that Gabrielle had thought appropriate since she was The Messenger of Eli.

The second was a small green cap made of worn-out cloth, which Xena had placed there after saving it for twenty-six years. The flowery pattern was only just visible from all the years of wear and tear, but Xena had said solemnly, "I kept it to hold on to the memories of her as a child… now it'll just give me memories of her lying in a pool of her own blood. She should keep it with her to remember herself," before exiting the cave with tears shimmering in her blue eyes.

Virgil had placed a single branch of jasmine in her hands, noting that Eve always smelled of the sweet flower. Even after death.

Callie, in her youthful innocence, had wrapped a bandage around Eve's arm. It was marked with little drawings of getting well, and tacked onto it was Virgil's poem with the words changed.

'Roses are red

Blood is too,

You loved me, Mommy

And I love you, too.'

Virgil paced in front of this shrine, his mind torn between staying with Callie and just leaving to have some time to himself. He stopped and looked into Eve's cold, dead face. "I promised you, and I'm gonna keep that promise, but I just wish we could've raised her… the both of us. It'll take us a long time to find our way again… even longer to find a sense of peace. The only thing good about this is that Satri went to Tartarus, I know it. If she didn't, then I'll send her there myself." Taking a deep breath, he shut the lid of the coffin that contained his one true love, and with it went a large part of his soul.

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Xena dropped her sword from her right hand; her chakram from her left. She then removed her armor and placed it on the ground with her weapons. Her sky-blue eyes turned to the ocean, getting lost in the great pounding of the waves and the blue-green water. As she stared into the distance, she half-consciously contemplated whether or not to hurl herself off a cliff, into that ocean, and onto those razor-sharp rocks. Or maybe throw herself on her own sword. She looked down at the long, sharp blade that had taken so many lives… maybe she could—

"Xena!" Gabrielle interrupted the warrior's reminiscing.

"What?" asked Xena quietly, sitting down in the sand. She fingered the grains absent-mindedly.

"Don't you dare," warned the bard, turning the warrior's head to face her. "Xena, how could you even think about it?"

"What're you talking about?"

"Your sword. Your chakram. That reddish tint in your eye. Xena, I know you better than you'd ever know."

Xena lowered her eyes and slapped the sand. "I failed, Gabrielle… twice, in fact. Solan died before I really got to know him… Eve was even worse. I was this close to raising her the right way," she held up her thumb and forefinger with a little space in-between, "but she ended up crazier than Callisto and more bloodthirsty than me. Then, when I really get to know her, she gets killed as well."

Gabrielle rested her head against Xena's shoulder. "Xena… it's not your fault. The universe works in ways that we can never understand. You were trying to get to her in time, Xena, but we missed her by a few minutes… and in a way, it's my fault."

The warrior shook her head. "It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault… listen, I'm gonna go… make sure Callie's okay…" She sniffed as she stood and brushed herself off.

Gabrielle watched her warrior walk off sadly. She had never seen her lover like this.

Xena's eyes were on her toes, her shoulders slouched, head down. She kicked the ground, sending sand everywhere, hands wringing each other out nervously.

The great Warrior Princess had been stripped of her pride, her little bundle of joy… who hadn't been so little anymore. Gabrielle sighed and looked at Xena's armor and weapons. They were getting covered by the sand, and she made no move to prevent it.

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Callie sighed in her sleep as Virgil entered quietly. The man hesitated in the doorway, afraid he would start crying again… Callie just looked so much like Eve, even with the minute details that belonged to her father such as her hair and a few lone freckles. But her eyes were all Eve… those piercing blue eyes, which seemed to run in the women of Xena's line. There was just something about those eyes that caught everyone's attention… that bright blue that could express every emotion possible, from hate to love, from bloodlust to fear. It was hard for him to look into eyes like that without crying.

Eve had been dead for three days now. Aphrodite herself, out of sympathy for Xena and Gabrielle, had come and placed a spell over Eve's body so that it would remain as it was for an eternity and not decay.

He stroked Callie's face and silently said a prayer to Eli. Just the night before he had heard a bitter argument between Xena and Gabrielle. The warrior had been arguing out of fear and anger, while Gabrielle had taken that anger and changed it into hope.

They were worried what would become of Callie.

Would she turn and begin on the road of vengeance? What if Ares got at her? Should she be taken to a grieving oracle? What would happen if she did turn evil? Would the world see another bloodthirsty warrioress of the bloodline of Xena and Livia?

Xena had been arguing that they get out of Greece as quickly as possible and go to Egypt, where Ares had no powers and couldn't harm the girl. Gabrielle had countered the fact that if they did that then it would be just as bad as giving her away. The argument had lasted until Xena broke down and started crying once again, saying that Gabrielle was right but she didn't want anything happening to her one and only grandchild.

At that point, Virgil made a decision to go and rebuild his father's tavern and raise Callie there, but there were always going to be those issues of evil that would linger in his mind.

Climbing into his cot, he took a deep breath and began to pray again.

Eve, I know you can hear my thoughts, so I just wanted to tell you that I'll take care of your daughter. I promise I'll teach her right from wrong and show her The Way of Love. We'll miss you, but maybe Eli has done this for a reason… whatever it is, I trust his judgment. I just wish this wasn't a decision he had made.

With that he rolled over and blew out the candle, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pallet.

SOME TIME LATER

Virgil cursed as the sunlight hit his eyes and brought him out of his deep sleep. Raising his head, he looked around the empty room. He once again reminded himself to do something about it's dreary, miserable look. His bleak bedroom had little furniture, just a bed and a bureau, with nothing on the walls and a window that was only about two-by-two feet. The floor was hard limestone, which had grayed from its usual white due to his constant pacing. The only thing of decoration he had had was a scroll on the ceiling that Gabrielle had wrote, called "My Callisto—Chapter 1". He had read it over and over and over until he couldn't stand it anymore, then tacked it to the ceiling.

WHAM! Suddenly the door burst open and Callie came running in, hurling herself onto the bed and right next to Virgil. She bounced on the pallet a few times before catching her breath and piping happily, "Hey Daddy!"

Virgil groaned and rubbed the spot on his chest where her elbow had collided with a rib. "Good morning to you, too," said the man, kissing her forehead adoringly. "Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for school?"

"But I don't wanna go to school! I have to sit next to Johnny and I don't like him."

Virgil chuckled, ruffling her hair. "Get to school before I have to get up," he warned, shaking a finger at her.

Callie sighed deeply, sulking as she left the room. She didn't dare disobey her father, but that didn't mean she had to like doing what he said.

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Virgil watched as one of Callie's age-mates came bounding out of the schoolhouse and into her mother's open arms. His eyes wandered to the man waiting with a smile on his face just outside the schoolyard fence. A sad sigh escaped his lips as mother and daughter joined the man, laughing and talking happily as the walked back to their house as a family. A whole family.

"Daddy!" Callie came running out of the school with a piece of papyrus clenched in her hand.

"Hey sweetheart!" said Virgil, scooping her up into his arms. "Did you have fun at school today?" He kissed her cheek.

"Yep! I even made this picture!" exclaimed the girl, showing him the painting on the papyrus. It had taken her all of center-time to make it and she was proud of her work.

Virgil's smile slowly faded as he looked at the picture.

There were three people, two tall figures and a smaller one holding hands with them. The tallest person wore a leather vest and trousers, Virgil's usual attire. The shorter one wore a lime-green top with pants and sandals of the same color, what Eve had been wearing upon her death. The smallest one was wearing a little blue dress, which Callie happened to be wearing that day.

"See, Daddy? Mrs. Scropolis said to paint the dream you had last night. I dreamed that Mommy, you, and me were a all a big, happy family."

Virgil wiped his eyes with his free hand. He wouldn't—no, couldn't let her see him cry… "That's great, Callie. Listen, why don't you run on home and finish your chores for today so we can play later, alright?"

"Okay, Daddy!" said the girl as she skipped off towards their house. She wasn't one to object to the whole 'work now, play later' theme.

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Another tear slipped down Virgil's face as he sat with a scroll entitled "My Callisto—Chapter 4" clenched in his fingers. Gabrielle had never finished it, claiming that Virgil should put whatever he wanted at the end. He had never once thought of finishing it. He didn't want to believe that it was actually over. Eve had been dead for two years now, and he still mourned her to the point of making himself sick at times. Virgil abruptly lifted his head at the sound of approaching footsteps. His eyes traveled up a pair of boots, a skirt, a top, then to a beautiful face and bright blue eyes.

"Xena… hi. What're you doing here?" asked the man, studying Xena's new clothes out of the corner of his blue-green eyes.

She wore a black leather top and skirt that showed a sliver of her abdomen. Across her chest was a silver breastplate with a very intricate design, one he had seen a passing Amazon wearing before, and all around her upper body silver-gold armor swirled to deflect blows to vital organs. Her skirt was made of strips of leather like her old one, only thicker and without armor. Her knee-high traveling boots were the same color as her skirt and top, midnight black with iron soles to make kicks more lethal and bone-crushing. Topping it all off was her newly-forged samurai sword from Japan on one side of her body and her new chakram on the other. Her new sword's sheath was also made of black leather, with a silver design from Chinese text that meant 'power' on it. Her old leathers and armor had been locked away in a safe for years now, and she planned to keep it that way.

"Gabrielle and I stopped by to see how you were doing. Callie said you hadn't come home after picking her up from school… I thought I'd find you here."

'Here' was next to Eve's grave.

Virgil looked up at her with his eyes, keeping his head bowed low. "Nice armor. Amazon?"

The warrior nodded and sat next to him. "Virg', what's bothering you?" she asked, running her hand along Eve's gravestone lovingly. It was a simple stone arch with the words 'Rest In Peace' carved into it. Under that was a picture of a dragon, her Chinese Zodiac sign.

Xena had told Virgil that her daughter could be buried wherever he wanted, just so long as they had quick access to her grave.

He had buried her in his backyard.

"Callie made this picture of the three of us as a family… said she dreamed about it," said the man with a deep sigh. He pulled on a strand of grass idly.

The warrior bit the side of her mouth. "It's been two years, Virgil. You can't go on like this… it's not good for you," she said softly.

"You're right, I can't go on like this. But every time I say that I can't go on, I see Callie's smile and it fuels me for a little while longer. What if someday it's not enough?" said Virgil throwing down the scroll. "I've been thinking, and I want you to take Callie back to the Amazons with you. I'm sure that she'll be welcome, being the queen's granddaughter."

Xena shook her head. "What's wrong with you? I've never seen you like this."

"Yeah, well you sure got outta here fast after she died, so how could you have seen me in mourning? I'm surprised you even bothered to send me scrolls," muttered Virgil bitterly.

"Hey, don't take your anger at the world out on me! Eve is gone! No amount of sulking is going to change that! Callie needs a father, but if you can't give that to her then maybe I will take her to the Amazons!" She stood and began to walk away, but stopped and called over her shoulder, "If you really want to do something about her death, why don't you talk to Eli?" She continued to walk away.

"You know Callie asked questions that I couldn't answer! 'Why do people die?' 'How come Eli takes life but gives it as well?' and I can't answer those questions, Xena! She needs more family than just me and you ran away! I could've run but I didn't! So don't you tell me that I'm not a father to her!" shouted Virgil at her back, jumping to his feet angrily.

Xena stopped for a moment, then shrugged off his comment and continued into the house.

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"Eli… tell me what to do. You or your God have taken my one and only love away from me… yet you expect me to keep following your Way. I really don't understand this test. What is it that you want me to do?" whispered Virgil. He closed his eyes, bowing his head respectfully.

After a few minutes of receiving no response, the tall man got up and left the temple with his hands jammed into his pockets.

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Eve's eyes flew open with a gasp as she bolted upright into a sitting position. She looked around at her strangely familiar surroundings. "Where am I?" she thought aloud. Looking down at her hands she noticed… she barely had hands. They were translucent, but she could just make out the outline of herself.

Standing up, the woman finally recognized where she was. "Wait a minute… I've seen that house before!" she exclaimed, eyeing the tavern before her. Sitting on the roof were makeshift sais and a primitive chakram. That would mean…

JOXER'S TAVERN?!

A woman stepped out from inside a house dressed in Amazon leathers, interrupting Eve's thoughts. Eve's mouth dropped to her see-through feet.

The short blonde woman was wearing a white woolen shirt to block out the cold, made of the of the softest wool from Amazon lands. Her pants were made of a stretchy black material that hung down past her toes, in serious need of some adjusting to the blonde woman's height.

"Gabrielle?"

The bard stretched her arms above her head with a relaxed yawn, either ignoring Eve or not aware of her presence.

"Gabrielle? Hey?!" called the spirit, moving forward.

After stretching out almost every muscle in her body, Gabrielle turned and went inside the house, closing the door behind her. Eve followed and tried to open the door, but her hand went right through the knob. She shivered.

"Okay, now that's just plain freaky," said the ghost to herself. Taking advantage of the situation, she held her breath and jumped through the door, grunting as soon as she landed inside… flat on her face. "Well, that didn't work out quite the way I wanted it," she mused, brushing herself off.

"I'm telling you, Gabrielle, chain mail will just get me hounded by kinky ogres and I know that makes the green-eyed monster come out of hiding!"

"Xena, I don't care if your armor already 'protects your vital organs', I want it to protect the rest of you, too!" protested Gabrielle as she followed her consort into the living room. "I would like reports that say you're coming home in one piece, not all your vital organs stuffed in a crate!"

Eve amusedly walked right behind them. "Use the frying pan, Gab… you know you want to," she whispered with a chuckle.

"Do we have to discuss this now?"

"Yes, now! I know you couldn't have missed the reports of Thracian soldiers trying to march onto our southern borders! That means you'll have to take troops! That means fighting! That means my Solstice present will be 'Xena's Organs in a Box!'"

Eve had to laugh at that statement. "She's got a point, Mom."

"Gab, can we just drop it until we get back to Amazon lands?" asked Xena, lowering her voice as if expecting Callie to jump out at any moment. "The queen and consort shouldn't be discussing this on their vacation."

How long have I been gone? thought Eve curiously.

"Give me one good reason to drop it," countered the bard, hands on hips.

"Hormones," replied Xena with a little smile.

Gabrielle threw her arms up into the air. "You win! Fine! Be a fancy smancy warrior and get yourself chopped into little pieces! I'm going to—to… to go make breakfast!" boomed the bard as she stormed off into the kitchen.

Xena simply flopped on the couch with a wide grin, happy with her victory.

Eve shook her head. "You two haven't changed a bit, have you?" She eyed her mother's new choice of clothing intently. "Hmm… the clothes are different but other than that—"

The spirit stopped talking to herself as Callie came barreling into the living room, screeching to a halt just in front of Xena. "Gammy Xe, Gammy Xe, look!"

Xena looked up. "What?"

"I made you and Grammy Gabby a picture! See?" squealed the child excitedly, showing Xena the picture she had made. The picture showed Xena holding her chakram, Gabrielle with her sais… and about five dead guys all around them.

The warrior chuckled as she accepted the scroll. "Why thank you, Callie. I'm sure the Amazons back in Macedonia will love to see it."

Callie grinned proudly.

"Your Grammy Gabby is making breakfast. Why don't you go help her?" suggested Xena, still unable to contain her smile.

"Sure Gammy Xe!" piped the girl, scuttling off to the kitchen. When her two grandmothers came to visit it was absolutely her favorite time of the year, especially when they brought other Amazons with them.

Xena shook her head, not quite able to stop herself from chuckling even after Callie had gone.

Eve tried to wipe her face, wincing as her hand went through her own body. She chuckled as she unsuccessfully tried to brush away her happy tears again. Callie was so beautiful. "I really hope this doesn't last long."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil fingered the single lock of Eve's hair lovingly. It was the only thing of hers he had to remember her by, besides some clothes… and Callie. Sometimes, if he looked at the sun rising through the window, he was able to imagine her standing there, smiling down at him. He looked up and grinned as he visualized her standing there, hands on hips, gazing at him with the sun silhouetting her outlined form and...

Wait a minute.

"Eve?"

Whatever was in the window gasped, it's translucent form stepping back a few feet and disappearing with a shimmer. "Virgil? You can see me?"

Virgil was at a loss for words as his mouth moved but no sound came out.

"Oh my gods, Virgil… can you really see me?" She moved from the window, over to the bed where he was sitting.

"Well… I could just a minute ago but I can't now... Eve, is that really you or just my imagination playing games with me?" he asked, looking up at the ceiling then back to the window. He felt a gentle breeze across his cheek.

"Virgil, I'm just as confused as you are. This morning I woke up lying on top of my grave," said Eve, wishing so much to touch him as her hand passed through his face.

"I'm going insane."

"No you're not, Virgil. I'm really here… well, sort of."

Virgil threw off the covers and put on his vest. "Do you have any way to show me that you're really here?" I think I need to get help. "I've lost it. Your mother was right, I've finally lost it."

"Close the window."

The man did as he was 'told', shutting the window as tightly as he could.

Eve brushed her hands through the raggedy drapes, making them flow as if being ruffled by the wind. She looked over at Virgil, whose mouth was hanging wide open. "You better close that, Virg', you're collecting dust."

At this point Virgil was a little more convinced. "Alright… but I'm not gonna really believe you're there until you show me something else to prove you're here and I'm not just talking to… the wind, so to speak."

Eve shook her head. "Virgil, since you refuse to believe what your mind is telling you, I'll find another way… but you're not going crazy, I promise. I'm leaving now," she informed him, going through the outside wall and into the Town Square.

*****

Gabrielle looked up as Virgil came into the living room. "Good morning sunshine. I, uh, heard you and Xena had a little 'heart-to-heart' talk yesterday."

Virgil shrugged, sitting on the couch next to her. "I didn't really mean what I said. Callie's picture just had me thinking about what would've happened if Eve hadn't died. I guess it made me mad that no one rescued her from the Land of the Dead like I had heard in all the stories… but then I realized that maybe it was her time… maybe it wasn't. Either way, the Other Realm has shifted so that it's harder to retrieve souls from it, or at least that's what I've heard."

Gabrielle chuckled, putting her arm around his shoulders. "You're right, the Other Realm has changed… Xena and I experienced it first hand. You see, the Olympians had Tartarus and the Elysian Fields, which they ruled unjustly most of the time. But as the Twilight neared, humans no longer needed the many gods and the way of the One God was embraced by many. He has two realms: Heaven and Hell."

Virgil, suddenly understanding, replied, "Yeah… and I should trust His judgment."

The bard kissed his cheek, smiling comfortingly. "You'll find another love, Virgil. And who knows… maybe Eve will find a way to come back to you." She stood and left the room, leaving Virgil to his thoughts.

"She did come back to me…" he whispered to the silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eve floated above a fruit cart, elbow on knee and chin in palm, thinking. Her eyes wandered from person to person curiously. Lots of things had changed since she had last seen this town.

For one, the tavern had been rebuilt into a large house that Virgil and Callie lived in. A few Amazons wandered the streets, casually conversing with the villagers. This was something that had never been allowed before. The villagers used to think that the Amazons were filthy whores that would poison their youth… needless to say, they hadn't been very welcome.

She caught sight of a man walking from cart to cart, casually taking what he wanted without protest from the townspeople. Curiosity getting the best of her, she jumped down from her perch and approached the man, who promptly turned around and said, "Hey there!" He waved to her.

Eve looked behind her as if to see just whom he was waving at. "You talking to me?"

"Of course I am, do you see any other ghosts here? I want to welcome you, spirit number one million, three thousand forty-seven hundred, ninety-six and three quarters to the undisputed Realm of the Undead."

"What's that?"

"There's the Realm of the Living, the Other Side, otherwise known as the Realm of the Dead, and the Realm of the Undead. This is the place between the lines. But, in simpler terms, you're a ghost," said the man, casually biting into an apple.

Eve shook her head as if trying to shake away some of the confusion. "And you would be?" she asked incredulously, putting her hands on her hips.

"My name is Xanthrax, keeper of the Undead," he replied, holding his hand out.

The other spirit was tall with dirty blonde hair and that 'boy next door' look. He wore a filthy gray tunic with brown trousers and traveling boots. Almost unhealthily skinny, Eve had to ignore the impish little suggestion at the back of her mind to ask him if he ever ate. But then again, there was the fact that he was already dead…

"Um… right… But how did you pick that apple up? I can't touch anything," Eve said, shaking his hand timidly. She demonstrated her words by moving her fingers through a piece of wood.

"Mental strength," Xanthrax replied, throwing the half-eaten apple at Eve. It passed right through her shoulder, landing in a batch of oranges, much to the disgust of a nearby solicitor. "Come here," he ordered, moving over to a cart selling charms.

Eve followed him obediently, sensing something to trust about this spirit.

"Look, the thing is that you're not really here. The clothes on your back, they're not there. And, as you can see, you don't really exist. So if you try to physically move an item with something that's not there, it doesn't work. What you must do is imagine the movement, realize that you're not here, and it will happen. Watch."

He reached over and pushed a charm across the cart with ease. "The catch is that when I move an item, the mortals don't notice it… but when you undeadlies move an item they have the ability to notice it, even though they usually don't."

Eve nodded, extending her hand  to the charm. She concentrated on visualizing the movement, then pushed her finger down. It passed right through the stone. The woman sighed in frustration and closed her eyes to further her concentration. She reached out with her eyes still closed, and began moving the charm ever so slightly across the table. The cart keeper gasped and fell to the ground, out cold. A smile graced Eve's features, then her arm went right through the cart. "Oops."

Xanthrax laughed, patting her on the back. She fell to the ground from the force of his hands. "Uh sorry…" He helped her up, still chuckling. "Be careful, when you use this power mortals will be able to touch and feel you as if you were there. Now, I understand you have a certain lucky man to show that trick, but don't wear yourself out."

Eve dusted herself off. "And how would you know—" She turned around, but Xanthrax was mysteriously gone. She shrugged and began to walk back towards Virgil's house.

*****

Xena twirled her sword around on the right side of her body, moving her body quick enough to prevent herself from getting chopped into little pieces. She threw it up from behind her back, catching it in front of her without even looking. Whirling around, the warrior began to fight an invisible opponent.

Eve stopped walking and watched her mother fight.

The warrior delivered and parried blows as if she were really fighting someone, making sure to keep her swings at the normal heights of a man: his heart, his stomach, his face, everything, but at the same time deflecting imaginary swings that, if were real, would slash her exposed spots one by painful one.

Suddenly she stopped and dropped her sword, falling to one knee in pain. She clutched her other knee, trying hard not to make a sound as her face twisted into a grimace.

Memories of how she had acquired that injury flashed through her mind. She had been on a peace mission to try and convince Macedonia to ally with the Amazons. The king had captured her and her troops, claiming that he would much enjoy his own Amazon warrior queen instead of having them allied for nothing. Gabrielle had taken the army and attacked as soon as her spies found out. She got Xena out, but just before making the city walls an arrow had embedded itself into Xena's knee and shattered the bone. It hadn't been the same since, but she refused to acknowledge it and never let Gabrielle see her in pain.

Eve narrowed her eyes in confusion. A weak spot? On her mother?

Xena jumped to her feet as Gabrielle came outside, talking low enough so that Eve couldn't make out her words. The warrior smiled and put her arm around the bard's shoulders, casually walking back to the house. Her gait looked as normal as could be.

But to Eve's skillfully trained eye, she could see the weight her mother was taking off her left knee. She finally realized that she really had been gone for more than just a little while… that the two women walking towards the house weren't the two women she had known. They were… different, somehow. She lowered her blue eyes, knowing that she had to set this wrong right before any more damage came to her family. Both emotional and physical damage…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil sighed sadly, scratching his head as he studied his lock of Eve's hair. Had he really heard from her that morning? What if he had? What if he hadn't? These questions and lots more echoed through his mind and haunted him. He looked up as the door suddenly closed, the lock turned, and a weight landed on his chest… but there was no one there. "Holy shi—"

Eve clamped a hand over Virgil's mouth. "Watch your language, Big Guy. Tell me, do you believe I'm here now?"

Virgil's eyes flew open in surprise. The hand was removed from his mouth. "Eve? Oh, jeez, how did you do that?"

"Practice." She reached out and caressed his face lovingly.

The man closed his eyes at her feathery-soft touch. Upon opening them, tears spilled down his cheeks. "Eve… I've missed you so much."

Eve smiled, resting her head against his chest. "How could you miss me when I haven't been gone? I don't remember any of what happened while I was… well, dead, but that doesn't mean that I wasn't always with you." She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"If I could see you, this moment might be a little more tearful, but I can live with this," Virgil said with a grin, enjoying the feel of her 'body' against his. "That's kinda creepy."

Eve sighed in reply. She then looked up into his face and asked, "How long have I been gone? I noticed that Mother and Gabrielle sure aren't the same. And Callie looks at least a year older and I know—"

"Over two years."

The spirit shut her mouth and thoughtfully bit her lip. "Really?" she asked, hoping for a 'no.'

"Really."

Eve sat up, looking into his dark blue eyes even though he couldn't see hers. "Virgil, I'm going to find out how to put this right. Back in a flash!"

Virgil looked around as he heard the sound of the wind. "See ya, Eve…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eve looked around the marketplace for that--that Xanthrax guy. "Xanthrax! Hey, creepy ghost dude, where are ya?" She found him hovering above a cart full of vegetables, yelling at people as they walked by.

"Hey, watch the lady, Buddy. That's right, move along!" taunted the spirit at a man who just 'ran into' a young woman. He looked up and grinned. "Eve! How ya doing, my translucent friend?"

Eve scowled up at him. "How do I go back to the Realm of the Living?" she demanded, pulling him back down to the ground. "You have to tell me how!"

"You don't get back. It's against the rules."

She grabbed his collar and shook him hard. "There has to be a way or Eli wouldn't have sent me to this Realm after two years of being dead as a doornail!"

Xanthrax's eyes widened. "Why didn't you say you'd already been dead? I thought you were a newbie to this dead thing! Now it's a whole different story!" He brushed Eve off his collar and pulled a scroll out of his pocket. "Okay, this'll have complete instructions on what you have to do. Take it and go! Go now!"

Eve shook her head and took the scroll with a grin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xena finished wrapping her bad knee and flexed it a few times, inhaling sharply at the pain. She put her foot down then pulled her boots back on so that the bandages were fully covered.

Eve entered the room with a mischievous smile. She opened the scroll and began to read the first part over again out loud.

"'This Guide to Coming Back to Life is brought to you by R.O.U. (Realm of the Undead). If you wish to return to the R.O.L. (Realm of the Living) then you must complete this scroll and all the tasks it gives you. You should and your living partner fail, you are to fill out this form and send it to your head ghost.'" She rolled it back up and chuckled. That was too funny. "'Task one: Scare someone. In order to regain your mortality and keep up the R.O.U.'s reputation, you must scare the pants/skirts off your person of choice."

Ooh, this is gonna be fun. Eve moved behind her mother. With a swift arm movement, she pushed the warrior forward and onto the floor.

Xena grunted as she hit the ground. She unsheathed her sword and whirled around, her sword penetrating Eve's 'body.' "All right, who's there?" demanded the warrior menacingly.

The ghost poked her mother in the side playfully.

Xena spun around, lashing out with her sword, but saw no one. "Come out and fight like a man… or woman!"

Eve chuckled again and blew out the candle that had been helping light the room. Then she rattled the shutters. "This is fun," said the spirit to herself.

Xena lowered her sword in surprise. "Gabrielle? Gab, this isn't funny!" called the warrior as if expecting an answer.

The ghost pulled her mother's sword out of her hand and dropped it on the floor, causing a loud clatter.

"Okay, that's it!" boomed Xena, picking up her sword. "Gabrielle! You better stop! And if this is one of your guards I'll have them fed to the dogs!"

The spirit giggled, then picked up a scroll and quill. In shaky handwriting, she wrote out:

'You know, it's not nice to feed Amazons to dogs. I'm sure sharks would enjoy the leather much more.'

Xena stared at the scroll for a few moments, then turned tail and ran away screaming. Eve fell to the ground laughing, tears squeezing from her eyes and her sides feeling as if they would burst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"'Task two: Make someone happy: After scaring your last person of choice half to death (no pun intended) pick someone else and make them feel as if they're being blessed by a loved one.'" Eve gazed at Gabrielle, who was reading a story to Callie on the couch.

"…the giant had to be at least as tall as fifty grown men, with the strength of a hundred! Xena let him chase her through the graveyard, the kite flailing behind them, then stopped as lightning flashed and thunder rumbled, Zeus making his presence known. A lightning bolt shot out of the sky and hit the kite, shocking Garreth and killing him. So Zagreas was defeated and the giant was killed. The end… of that journey at least." Gabrielle smiled down at Callie.

"Did Gammy Xe really do all that?" asked the girl in pure awe.

"Yep… destroyed my good frying pan and everything," said the bard with a grin. "Now, off to your nap."

"Aww, do I have to?"

"Of course you do. Don't you wanna camp with Gammy Xe outside tonight? She'll keep you awake for hours telling you stories and legends," said the bard, raising an eyebrow. "You don't want to fall asleep during her tales, do you?

Callie smiled at the thought of spending time with her gammy and scuttled off to her room.

As soon as her child was gone, Eve picked up the scroll that Gabrielle had been reading from, waving it in front of the bard's face. Gabrielle's jaw dropped in shock. Eve exchanged the scroll for a piece of charcoal that the bard had been using. She bent down and scribbled the words 'I'm always with you, Gabrielle. Eve.' on the floor.

The bard put her hands over her mouth, unable to do anything else. "Eve? Are you here, Eve?" she asked the silence.

Eve dropped the charcoal, taking Gabrielle's hands in hers. The bard was left speechless.

"I wish I could speak to you… but we'll be able to speak again soon enough. I promise you, whatever this crazy scroll makes me do, I'll do it." She let go of the bard's hands and stood.

"Eve?" said the bard one last time. The spirit placed a flower in Gabrielle's fingers before leaving her to herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"'Task three: The final task: You must take your mortal partner with you to the Cavern of Mars, retrieve the amulet in the main room, and if you get past the five obstacles placed in your way, you will be restored to your mortal body. Good luck and… and send all payments to Xanthrax of Athens?!' What kind of rip-off is this?" Eve groaned as she threw the scroll across the room.

Virgil dodged the flying projectile as he entered. "Eve? Eve, are you in here?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I found how to put myself back into my body, but it seems the last of the three tasks is going to be a challenge."

"Oh? How so?"

"We must go to the Cavern of Mars, get past the five obstacles there, get this amulet, then I'll be able to reunite my soul with my body."

Virgil gave her a confused look. "How come we can't just put you in your body now?"

"Ares has a magic amulet that he once stole from Hades and Persephone called the Amulet of the Secret Realm. He hid it in Rome, miles inside a large cavern, which he named the Cavern of Mars. My best guess is that the amulet has the power to bring someone back to life."

"How did you know all that?"

Eve shrugged. "I dunno."

"And why didn't he use it to bring your mother back to life during that twenty-five year nap?" asked Virgil, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

"Um… I dunno, don't ask me! But anyway, that doesn't matter. I need you to tell Mother and Gabrielle about it. We'll leave tomorrow morning."

Virgil smiled, looking around the room for any trace of where she was. "You know, Eve, if I could see you I would have the right of mind to kiss you," drawled the man as he stepped forward, trying to figure out her position in the room.

Eve grinned mischievously as she moved closer to him, but still keeping her distance so he couldn't touch her. "Hmm… funny, 'cause I can see you, but you can't see me. Well, well, well, looks like I have the upper hand here." She closed the space between them. "Do you think I have the right of mind to kiss you?"

"Kinky."

"Oh, I think it's just good fun," replied Eve, using a tone very similar to her mother's. Standing up on her tiptoes, Eve nipped his top lip playfully. "But before this goes too far, why don't you go explain to Mother and Mom?"

Virgil pouted. "Fine… but can I have a little kiss? Just a little one?" He held his thumb and forefinger out with a little space between them.

Eve shook her head but kissed him. Then kissed him again… and again… and again…

"Eve, Eve, I'm gonna need a cold shower if you don't stop. Stay here and I'll just explain all this to your mom and Gabrielle." He pushed her back, a shiver running up his spine as he pushed basically nothing but felt warm flesh under his palm. "Oh, gods, we gotta get you your body back and fast."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xena angrily crossed her arms, a scowl resting on her face. "My own daughter haunted me. What did I ever do to her?" At the look on everyone's face she quickly added, "Don't you answer that!"

Gabrielle unsuccessfully stifled a chuckle. "Well, she didn't 'haunt' me, Xena. Do you think it's something of a bloodline feud?"

The warrior glared at her lover. "Don't even start," she warned, sitting back in her chair. "What I don't get is why you can't send someone else to do it for you. We have plenty of warriors trained for special missions such as these."

"From what I understand, the circumstances are that only Eve and I, being her partner, are the only ones that can complete the journey for it to count. So to send you would be cheating, and you can't cheat on a test," said Virgil, grinning at Xena's discomfort.

"The cosmos hates me, I swear it. No matter what I do, the universe just loves to play its little jokes on me!" shouted Xena, throwing her arms into the air.

"And I thought I was the one who had bad mood swings…" mumbled Gabrielle under her breath.

"I heard that!"

"Um, Eve and I are leaving in the morning," said Virgil, hoping that the two women were still listening to him.

"Are you sure it wasn't just a ghost haunting you?" teased Gabrielle, offering no proof that she had heard what Virgil had said. "Or is your imagination telling you its time to be locked up?!"

"I'm going to go to sleep now. We'll be going early," the man said half-heartedly as he moved towards his bedroom door.

"Well, if she had chosen to scare you then who would be laughing now, Gab? Hah? Hah?"

Virgil slipped inside his room and shook his head. "Family… I'll never understand them. But of course, they'll be leaving soon so--"

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of mental collapse," Eve informed him.

"Is that so?" asked Virgil, pushing himself from the door and moving into the room. "Play fair and come out."

"How about if I do this? For some reason you can't see the current clothes I'm wearing—"

"You're wearing clothes?"

Eve smacked him on the arm.

"Hey, ow!" pouted the man, a wide grin still playing across his face. "Oh come on, it was just a harmless joke."

The spirit scoffed, then picked up a piece of cloth. "But, you can see me when I'm wearing these clothes." She wrapped it around her shoulders, across her stomach, and down her legs like a dress/toga type outfit.

Virgil's eyes popped out of their sockets. "Wow… I guess death doesn't hurt your body that much, does it?" he teased, studying the curves of her body. The cloth, pulled tightly to her, revealed all the valleys and curves in detail.

"Shut up, Virgil," warned Eve good-naturedly, complete with a devilish grin even though he couldn't see it.

"Hey, I didn't say anything." His head disregarded the fact that he was basically looking at a blanket hovering in mid-air. It was intellectually wrong… or, just plain wrong… but, hey, what the hell?

Eve shook her head. "Alright, we better get some sleep so we can leave early tomorrow." She flopped on the bed. "Mm… feels good. This is a soft bed."

"Probably because after we fixed this place up I didn't do anything but sleep in it."

The spirit thoughtfully fingered the woolen covers. "You really missed me, huh?" she asked in an almost uncertain tone.

"More than words can tell," replied Virgil as he sat on the bed next to her. He reached out and touched what was seemingly air, but felt her shoulder. "This is weird."

Eve chuckled, putting her hand over his. "Yeah, but it'll pass. Right now we have to sleep or we'll never get outta here tomorrow," said the woman seriously.

Virgil grinned mischievously. "What kind of sleep? Peaceful, energy-restoring sleep or exhausted, sweaty sleep?" he drawled in her ear. He inwardly smacked himself again. This was just kinky.

Eve's jaw dropped and she smacked him again. "Virgil! Will you please stop that?" she begged, feeling the sudden need for a cold shower.

"If you insist." He shrugged and lay down, stretching out his lengthy body teasingly. "But remember, if anything happens it's not my fault."

"Ooh, I hate you," hissed Eve, glaring at him.

"Mm… I love you, too," replied Virgil, closing his eyes.

Suddenly Eve was on top of him, pinning him to the bed with her invisible hands. "Alright, tough guy, you wanna play, let's play." She bit his lip but refused to let him move. "Not so sure of yourself now, are ya?" she whispered in his ear heatedly.

Virgil cringed in an effort to stifle a groan as Eve's hands traveled his body. "Dear gods…" he grunted, closing his eyes as he tried to move his hands but an unseen force held them down as her hands were occupied otherwise.

"Don't struggle… it'll only make the torture worse," warned Eve, licking his chest.

That was it. "Okay, okay, I give!" cried Virgil, opening his eyes. He gasped and knocked her off him. "Oh my god! I'm sorry!" He held out a hand to help her up.

Eve shook the dizziness from her head and accepted his hand. "That's oka—" She stopped and looked at her own hand. "Good gods…"

She held up both hands, in awe that she could see herself again. Her skin was there again… with a nice tan considering she had been dead for over two years.

"Oh, did I mention that any sex would result in haunting the world as a visible and audible ghost, but only to your family? It only happens with those who are to be restored to their bodies because Aphrodite thought it would be weird if you were caught kissing someone who's not actually there so… 'Kay, yeah," said Xanthrax's disembodied voice. "Have fun you two."

Eve looked up at Virgil, who was on the verge of fainting. "Ah… um… I'll just get dressed now," she suggested with a blush as she noted her scantily dressed body.

Virgil hurriedly grabbed her arm. "No, don't. I like you much better this way."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun hit Virgil's eyes, waking him up like it always did every morning of every day. He sighed contentedly, then looked down at the weight on his chest. It hadn't been a dream… Eve was sprawled across his body, her arms hanging down at his sides and her dark locks in his mouth. An extremely satisfied smile rested on her beautiful face while her fingers unconsciously caressed his toned stomach muscles as she slept. Virgil stretched out his sore back.

Upon feeling the man stirring, Eve looked up at him through sleepy blue eyes. "Good morning."

"Funny… couple of years ago I would've freaked if we woke up in this position."

"Um, Virgil, we did wake up in this position a couple of years ago," reminded Eve with a chuckle. "And you did freak."

"Ah… right. I knew that."

Eve disentangled himself from Virgil's long limbs and rolled off the bed. "If only I had known that side of you sooner," said the woman teasingly. She groaned, working the kinks out of her back.

Virgil blushed. "Well, at least you won't have to live with the hickeys and scratches." He gingerly touched the dark spot on his neck.

Now it was Eve's turn to blush.

Suddenly there was a flash of green light and Xanthrax appeared, a wide grin spread across his skinny face. "Good day to you!"

Eve screamed and jumped back into the covers with Virgil. "You pervert! Will you please stop interrupting us?"

"Nothing I ain't seen before," he said simply. "Look, due to a wave of people passing from the Realm of the Living to the Realm of the Dead yesterday, I forgot to inform you that there is a time limit for you to remain here. See, after you learn how to touch and get back your skin, there's no reason to get your body back right? Wrong. You only have one month to live, so to speak, on this world, which should be enough time to get whatever the R.O.U. CEOs tell you to get for them."

Eve grabbed him by the collar and shook him. "You idiot! If I had known that then I would've left yesterday! Numb-skull! Pea-brain!"

Virgil took her by the shoulders and pulled her back down to the bed rather roughly to prevent her from hurting him… if that was possible. "Just go away, you kinky ghost."

Xanthrax laughed heartily. "Never been referred to as that, but call me what you will. I shall go, but remember that you now have until the sun sets thirty days from now, or you'll fade away into the Realm of the Dead once again." He disappeared with another chuckle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eve casually walked into the living room, where her mother was currently caught up in the latest edition of the AMAZONIAN TIMES. "Hello mother," she said, stifling a giggle.

"Oh hi, Eve," replied Xena as she turned the page.

"I'm going to get some breakfast, okay?"

"Fine with me, Sweetie."

The spirit had to cover her mouth as she headed into the kitchen.

Gabrielle was cooking eggs at the stove, whistling 'Xena's Theme Song' as she did. The bard then changed her tune to a more upbeat Macedonian song and began bouncing around the kitchen and dining room.

Eve shook her head and chuckled. "Can I have some breakfast for Virgil and me, Gabrielle? I'm really hungry." Especially after last night... she mentally kicked herself.

"Sure, Sweetheart. Help yourself," replied the bard, still whistling as she cleaned some dishes.

"Don't hurt yourself," warned Eve, finding it hard not to laugh.

"I won't. Just go enjoy, dear."

"Alright." The spirit grabbed two plates and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eve stepped into the room, where Virgil was dressed and waiting. "You are an evil, evil woman," said the man with a wide grin.

"Yeah, but in about two seconds all hell is going to break loose." Two…one…

"EVE!" The house positively shook with Xena's yell. She burst into the room and stared straight at her daughter. "How could you do this to me?! Me and Gabrielle?! You made her mad and she's hormonal! Do you know how long it'll take me to get her to calm down?!"

Eve fell on the floor laughing.

Gabrielle came barreling into the room with a frying pan. "Where is she? Lemme at 'er, I'll hit her so hard her body'll feel it!"

Eve glanced up at the bard with a sullen look on her face, then began laughing even harder.

Xena grabbed Gabrielle's arm and yanked her back. "Don't hurt her, Gab, she's already dead!" said the warrior, dodging the flailing frying pan. "Alright, explain!" she hissed at her daughter.

"Well… the thing is…" Virgil tried to speak, but found himself blushing and nervously covering one of his hickeys.

"The head Honcho… or, Haunter… whatever, named Xanthrax told me that I have thirty days to remain on this earth. After that, I go back to the Realm of the Dead. So Virgil and I are leaving today to go find the cavern, get the stone, and get back here before the thirty days are up. Understand?"

"No. You didn't explain why we can see and hear you."

"Um… ah… well, Xanthrax said that… adult relations between a spirit and their human… partner results in being able to hear and see the spirit again because Aphrodite saw how mortals freaked out when they walked in and caught a guy having… adult relations when no one else was in the room."

"'Adult relations', huh? Is that what you call it now?" asked Xena, raising an eyebrow half-teasingly.

Eve blushed, lowing her eyes to her feet. She wiggled her toes, happy to be seeing them.

"Well, you two better be on your way. Don't get in too much trouble. We'll have a big welcome home party when you're back in your body. Come on, Gabrielle," said the warrior, pulling the still-struggling bard from the room.

"I'll knock her head off… I'll—"

"Gabrielle! Give it a rest and come on!"

Eve looked at Virgil and they both began cracking up so hard tears began streaming from their eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There. We have food, a few waterskins, some clothes-" Virgil had to grin as his mind drifted to the gutter for a moment "-extra blankets for our bedrolls, a compass, some healing herbs, and this—" He held up a nice little item that Eve had insisted they take.

Eve clamped a hand over his mouth. "Don't even say it. Don't you dare say it!" she warned menacingly.

The tall man chuckled and put the item back into the pack. "Oops. My bad." They both looked up as the door creaked open and a small face appeared in the crack.

"Mommy?"

Eve smiled at her daughter. "Callie, oh, Callie, my baby!" She swept the child up into her arms, planting kisses all over the girl's face.

"Mommy! You're back! I knew you'd come back! Now you and me and Virgil can all be a family like in my dream!" exclaimed the child happily.

Eve's smile faded and she looked to Virgil, who quickly said, "Callie, we can't be a family until a little while longer. Your mother and I have to go away for awhile, but when we come back everything will be just like your dream."

"What about a little sister? I dreamed about a little sister but didn't put her in the picture," said the girl in a matter-of-factly tone, turning to Eve.

Virgil snorted back a laugh, which earned him a glare from Eve. "Ah, we'll talk about a little sister later, okay?" She continued to glare at Virgil.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They booked a ride on a passenger ship heading non-stop to Rome. It would take them at least a week due to wars going on between countries that stood between their starting point and their destination. And that was not good. Four days into their journey, they had been set back three days from the estimated week. A passing Mycenaean fast ship had warned them of Chinese pirates up ahead and they had taken a detour to avoid them. That was definitely not good.

A flock of sea gulls flew overhead, calling out to each other in hopes of finding food. The waves were gentle, rocking the boat only slightly. A few dolphins played around and in front of the ship, riding the waves that the ship created. Eve looked up at the cloudless sky, exhaling slowly.

"Dinar for your thoughts?" asked Virgil, coming to stand next to her.

"You know you can't talk to me out here, Virg'. These people can't see me and they'll throw you overboard if you start acting crazy," warned Eve, her eyes never leaving the horizon. "Only family can see me."

Virgil shrugged. "I can swim."

Eve playfully shoved him. "We have twenty-eight days to get into the heart of Rome, past the capital and through the country. You think we'll make it?" She began walking towards the stairs leading below deck and to their room.

"Of course I do," said Virgil, following her below deck. "There's no way I'm letting you go after we've gotten this close." He ducked a low-hanging fish net.

Eve didn't look so sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, Virgil leaned against the side of the ship with Eve beside him. The moon had just risen, hanging low over the horizon. It was reflected by the gentle waves onto the side of the ship, which glowed with the light. The ship creaked and groaned.

"Mmm… what have we here?" purred a high female voice. "Ooh, I like! How about some ale with me and the girls?"

Virgil turned around to find three barely-dressed women staring right back at him. "Um, sorry, ladies, but I'm taken," he said, looking at Eve's fuming face out of the corner of his eye.

"I don't see a weddin' ring, Tough Stuff," drawled the blonde woman, stroking his face.

"Well, you see, at the moment we're just together. Not married, yet." He gave Eve a sideways smile, which grew wider as Eve motioned to choke the three women.

"There ain't nothing wrong with seeing other people when you ain't married," said the brunette, moving to his left and squeezing his muscles. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

Virgil looked at Eve, who had smoke coming out of her ears now.

"Yeah, so why don't you try some of this before you become a married man, Sweet Cheeks," said the redhead, moving to his right side.

Eve was about to smack all three women into the next dynasty when a deep, rough voice interrupted, "What's going on here?!"

All three women turned around, pouts resting on their sickeningly beautiful faces. "He tried to make us have ale with him, Butch!" cried the brunette, moving away from Virgil. The other two followed. "He was being mean!"

Virgil's jaw dropped. "What?! I didn't—"

'Butch' grabbed Virgil by the collar and slammed him up against a wall. And Butch wasn't a small man. Standing at least a foot above Virgil, he was grossly overweight with bulging muscles and long dreadlocks of dark brown hair; and combined with the leather jacket, he had the hair on the back of Virgil's neck standing on end.

"Now listen here, Pretty Boy, no one makes my ladies upset, and I mean no one! You're in for a world of pain!" He pulled his fist back, ready to knock Virgil into next Tuesday, when—

WHAM! Butch went flying across the ship as an unknown force hit him across the cheek.

"Ow… that hurt," mumbled Eve, rubbing her hand gingerly. Virgil shot her a mischievous grin, which she returned happily.

Butch shook the dizziness from his head and rubbed his aching jaw in confusion. "Okay, you're asking for it, Pretty Boy!" boomed the large man, charging Virgil.

Virgil made no attempt to move, but right before Butch rammed into him, Eve knocked the large man away.

"YAARRGH!" cried Butch in anger. "You little!" He jumped back up, but before he could charge Virgil again, Eve pushed him over the side of the ship.

"And as for you, ya whores," began Eve, grabbing them by the back of their halter tops. She threw them overboard and clapped her hands together in satisfaction. Virgil laughed and took Eve's hand, leading them below deck. He was glad that had worked out the way it did.

THREE WEEKS LATER

Eve rolled up her map and looked at the cavern before them. "Well… that looks… welcoming," she said with a sigh.

The entrance to the cavern was mostly stalactites and stalagmites, creating a large, menacing mouth. Not to mention the two holes in the top that looked just like eyes.

"Come on, we can't waste any time. We have until the sun sets to get that amulet. And, knowing our luck, if we start now we'll be done seconds before the sun sets and it'll be a very heroic, emotional ending."

Eve chuckled. "You read too much."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was pitch black inside the cave, their only source of light being their torches. Eve went first, using the fact that she was already dead to her advantage. She didn't have to worry about colliding with three-headed monsters… or giants… or walking off a cliff… or running right into a huge bug…

She abruptly turned around. "I'm scared."

Virgil laughed and patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, nothing's gonna happe—AAEN!!"

The floor collapsed and both Virgil and Eve began to fall into the darkness. It was like a black hole, sucking them into its looming nothingness that seemed to go on forever. They fell down… down…then they stopped and began to float in midair.

Virgil looked to Eve, who was just as confused as he was. "What in the name of Eli?" he thought out loud.

"Don't move," commanded Eve, her eyes following something Virgil couldn't see. "Don't even breathe."

The man froze, his eyes darting around for whatever Eve was looking at.

Suddenly Eve lashed out, her hands wrapping around something long and slimy. "I got it! Virgil, move away now!" she yelled, clamping her other hand on the black snake's neck to prevent it from getting her lover.

Virgil floated away hurriedly.

Eve wrestled with the great serpent for dear afterlife. It twisted its long body around, white fangs glowing with some mysterious light and yellow eyes staring at Eve hungrily. The snake's tail whipped around towards Eve's head, but she retracted any mass at all from her body and the serpent's tail went right through her and hit itself on the head. It screamed in pain and tried to bite her, but all its efforts went right through her.

Soon the serpent had tired itself out and Eve took a dagger from her pocket. "May the souls of all those you've killed haunt you," she whispered to the snake before plunging her dagger into its head, between the eyes. It screamed and dissolved.

The floor slowly came into view and they dropped onto it with two loud 'oof's.

"A giant serpent? Doesn't he know that that is so overused?" mused Eve as they continued through the passage, casually wiping off her blade.

"Overused?! Eve, have you fought a giant serpent before?" asked Virgil, in shock at her bored attitude.

"Sure I have. It was all part of my training," said the woman with an impish little smile.

"I shoulda known…"

Eve simply chuckled and quickened her pace down the hallway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Eve, check out these glyphs," whispered Virgil, waving his torch in front of a wall. "Looks like—"

"It's a complex system of symbols used by the Atlanticans. I learned about it from my language teacher." She took a moment to study the words. "Go left," she instructed Virgil, pointing down a dark hall.

"What makes you so sure?"

Eve sighed and turned to the wall. "'Should you venture right, the wrath of the desert snakes shall consume you alive. Left leads to the Amulet of the Secret Realm.'"

Virgil scratched his head in confusion as he followed the ghost down the left hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's this say?" asked Virgil as they came to another wall of glyphs. Farther down the hall from this wall was a large box with a picture of a spider eating a Roman legionnaire engraved on it. He ran his hand along the intricate design in fascination.

"'Forbidden is to release the Spirit of the Spider, for it shall destroy those who awaken it.' Well, doesn't sound too bad," said Eve as she picked up a hammer. "Let's explore! What harm ever came out of exploring?"

"I don't think you should…"

CRACK! Eve slammed her hammer into the spider box, then pulled it back out and stepped away to see what would happen.

"You're insane…" muttered Virgil as he ran over to her.

The ground began to shake, knocking dust from the walls and causing Eve and Virgil to fall over. The spider box cracked and then crumbled, leaving a pile of rubble on the floor. Not to mention the seven-foot tall, eight-feet long, and six-feet wide tarantula standing where the box had been.

"'Doesn't sound too bad' she says. 'Let's explore' she says! How come no one ever listens to me?!" muttered Virgil as they began to slowly back away from the arachnid. "Did I mention that I hate spiders?!"

"I love spiders," replied Eve with a small grin. She leaned forward, supporting her weight on the balls of her feet, and bent her knees. It was her ready stance.

"You know, this arrangement isn't fair! I can die but you can't!"

"Not necessarily."

Virgil counted to ten forwards and backwards. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, controlling his anger as best he could.

"If I know Ares right, he has this cave with some kind of catch for ghosts… like their spirits can be destroyed forever."

"You just know how to make my day, don't you?"

The two humans jumped back as the spider tried to swipe their feet from under them. Eve ran up one wall and Virgil picked up a sword, which had previously belonged to a skeleton. Eve flipped over, landing on the spider's back. "Yaa! Come on, Big Boy, let's see what you got!" she shouted, laughing as the arachnid began to toss and turn. "Wee! This is fun!"

"You have a twisted idea of fun," said Virgil to himself, dodging the spider's eight long legs. He twisted in midair, extending his sword and slashing the beast across three of its legs.

It screamed out in pain, fangs snapping, and began charging after Virgil.

"Whoa!" He turned and ran as fast as he could down the hall. Eve held on tightly, at the same time climbing up toward the arachnid's head. She grabbed a torch from the wall as they passed, grinning evilly as she planned her attack.

"Now would be a good time to help me, Eve!" screamed Virgil impatiently. "Or stop enjoying your piggy-back ride so much!"

"I've got a handle on things!" called the woman back to him. She sat up as far as she could without colliding with the ceiling, and got a good handle on the torch. Studying the huge spider's head, she found what she was looking for. Virgil looked over his shoulder just in time to see Eve thrust her torch into the small fold between the arachnid's head and body. He cringed and closed his eyes as the beast's head abruptly fell off, its body hitting the ground with an echoing thud.

"That's one way to do it," said Eve, hopping down from the disgusting beast. "That should be obstacle number three… or four… three, yeah. Counting that little crossroad. Let's see what Ares has in store for us now, huh?"

"How do people live with you?" asked Virgil as he followed her down the corridor.

"Oh, you'll get used to it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they continued their journey, Virgil was able to take a moment and study the halls of this cavern. It seemed the walls were made of pure sandstone, cracked and aged from the years. The floors and ceiling were made of a harder rock, marble maybe. The swirling white on the black marble created a design similar to the stars in the sky.

Dust covered almost everything around them, giving the air a dry, aged feeling. But there were no little critters crawling around here and there… minus the giant snake and arachnid, but those didn't count. He bumped into Eve, who had stopped and was looking around suspiciously. "What?" he asked curiously.

"Something's wrong. The air's not right," she whispered. "It's coming from in there." The woman pointed to a large room just a few paces away.

"Can't we skip it?"

"Nope. It's the only way to the amulet! The scripts said so!" She began walking towards the room cautiously, her feet dragging across the floor to dull any sounds she made as she advanced.

Virgil sighed in frustration, but followed her warily. He blinked, then ran into her again as she stopped. "What is wrong with you? Just go!" he said, taking a step past her.

"No!" Eve yanked him back just before an ax sliced across the room. It crashed into the wall next to them, sending rocks and dust tumbling down from the impact. "Will you stop that?" she asked as the cloud of dust cleared. "That would've cut you from shoulder to shoulder!"

"Sorry," mouthed Virgil, unable to speak.

Eve dusted herself off then picked up her torch. "Don't move unless I tell you to," she ordered sternly, not wanting a repeat of what had happened a few seconds ago.

"Yes, ma'am," he whimpered.

She began to walk, then turned around as she noticed he wasn't following her. "What're you doing now?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"You didn't tell me to move."

Eve rolled her eyes and grabbed him by the ear. "Walk, numbskull!"

"Ow, Ow!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Farther into the room, Eve stopped. "Stay," she commanded, letting go of Virgil's ear. Picking up a handful of sand, she gently blew it into the air in front of her. It exposed three lines of sunlight running from one side of the room to another. "Don't touch these lines. They're booby-trapped." Virgil nodded.

Eve stepped back, then ran forward and flipped over the sun rays. Turning around, she silently motioned for Virgil to follow.

The man looked around and grabbed a spear leaning against a nearby wall. He slid his sword under the lowest line, to where he could get it from the other side, then moved a few paces back. He ran forward, and pole-vaulted over. Eve rolled her eyes as he landed next to her. "Show off." As they came to the end of the room, the woman halted Virgil with a sharp hand signal. "These walls… they're not safe. There has to be another catch to getting this amulet.

"Do you think there'll be a cave-in after we grab the amulet? Like, grab the amulet and the whole thing falls on your head?"

"And you said I was depressing." She kicked up some sand before moving forward again.

"Wait!" yelled Virgil, grabbing her shoulder and pulling her back. "Look at this." He pointed to a few droplets of dry blood seemingly hanging in the air. "I've seen someone do this before. They string some fishing line or wire across a doorway or a hall and when a person comes through here-" he made a slicing motion across his neck "-their throats are slit."

Eve's eyes widened as she pulled on the string, which bounced back with an audible 'twang.' "Thanks, Virg'. You'll be rewarded when we get out of here." She flashed him an evil grin as she went under the wire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At last they came to the room containing the amulet. It sat in the middle of the large area on top of a spinning pedestal. Eve and Virgil slowly walked into the room, eyeing every shadow for signs of a trap.

"Okay, this is too easy," whispered Eve out of the side of her mouth. She approached the amulet, eyes widening in awe. "Oh my gods… that's pure amethyst!" she exclaimed.

Virgil turned to examine the stone. It was a deep purplish blue, shimmering and sparkling even in the dim light. The jewel was encased in a gold alloy, shaped like two tigers holding the jewel between their paws. It was masterfully carved, no doubt by Hephaestus himself.

"Let's just get it and go!" urged the man, throwing away his thoughts on how pretty it was.

"Don't touch it!" commanded a voice.

Eve turned around to find an elderly man standing there, javelin in hand. "We need this to restore my soul to my body!" she protested, forgetting entirely that he couldn't hear her since she was a ghost.

"I know, Child, but I cannot allow you to take it. If you remove the amulet from the cavern then you will be trapped forever!" said the old man, moving forward menacingly. "Save yourselves the trouble and get away from here." He pointed his weapon at them.

"You can hear me?"

"Of course I can hear you! You're in the Realm of the Spirits, child! This cavern exists only in another dimension!"

Virgil squinted hard at the elderly man. "Uncle Autolycus?"

The old man looked to Virgil, a snarl playing across his face. "Who are you?"

"My name's Virgil, remember me?  I'm Joxer's son."

Autolycus lowered his javelin, eyes widened in surprise. "Virgil? What are you doing here, boy?" he asked.

"I'm getting Eve's life back like she said. Autolycus, please, let us try. You should get out of here before we take the amulet," begged Virgil, embracing his longtime 'uncle.'

"Eve… Eve… I know I've heard that name before," said Autolycus, turning to Eve.

"I'm Xena's daughter."

The old man's jaw dropped. "Well, son of Joxer and daughter of Xena, together… who would've guessed. But back to the amulet. I really don't think you should—"

"Auto, please?" asked Virgil softly.

"But—well… I guess you guys can try. Daughter of Xena should be able to achieve things even her mother couldn't. And son o' Joxer can't be that dumb, either. But I ain't leaving! I can help you get outta here quicker!" said the old man, throwing down his javelin. "There're shortcuts everywhere."

Eve smiled. "Thank you, Autolycus."

He nodded, blushing slightly, then turned his attention to the amulet. "The trick is to grab it and go as fast as you possibly can. Virgil, you got long legs. You grab it and follow me. I may be an old geezer, but I can move fast!"

Virgil agreed with a nod of his head and ran up to the amulet. Autolycus and Eve stood in the doorway, waiting in anticipation for Virgil to take the stone. Timidly, cautiously, Virgil reached out and took the amulet from its stand.

Instantly, the earth began to shake and rumble. Pillars fell all over the large room, dust and pieces of rock tumbling from the ceiling and walls. Cracks in the ground formed, pushing upward as the earth shifted and causing giant rifts in the surface.

Autolycus ran down the hall of traps, dodging them as needed. Eve and Virgil were hot on his heels, both unconsciously wondering how the old man was moving so fast. They were forced to run in a zigzag pattern to avoid falling debris, which was becoming heavier by the minute.

Suddenly the elderly thief turned, flying down a hidden shaft. His two followers went after him, Eve screaming as they slid down a dark tunnel.  Virgil covered his head to avoid injury as they zoomed down a dark shaft, then was thrown at least twenty feet before he came into contact with the earth again. He shook the dizziness from his head and looked up, eyes widening as he saw Autolycus bent over a huge crack.

"Eve!" called the older man, reaching his hand into a rift in the ground. Eve was hanging onto a ledge by her last two fingers. "Grab my hand! Come on, almost there!"

Eve gulped and tried desperately to grab the ex-thief's hands, but with no avail. She felt a clawing against her legs and looked down, afraid of what she would find. "AAAAAH!" she screamed, kicking at the condemned spirits grabbing her feet. "They're pulling me down!"

Virgil skidded to a stop in front of the rift, falling onto his chest and sliding to the edge. "Eve!" he called, reaching down to her.

A dark spirit jumped up, grabbing Eve by the shoulders, and began to yank her farther into the pit of damned souls. "Virgil!" she screamed back, reaching with all her might towards him.

"It's closing!" shouted Autolycus over the rumbling of the earth, pointing to the opposite wall, which was closing in fast.

"Auto, hold onto my feet and lower me down. I'll get her then pull us back up!" said Virgil, knocking away a piece of rock before it hit his head. The old man nodded and grabbed Virgil's feet.

"I'm coming Eve!" He held his arm out.

Eve was sinking fast. She struggled with the demons, trying with all her might to shake them from her body, but with no success. Turning to Virgil, she reached as far as she could.

Virgil felt their fingers touch, then finally grabbed her hand.

Autolycus pulled them out just as the rift closed back up. "Come on, we gotta get outta here before the whole thing caves in!" he yelled. The old man turned and took off towards the exit.

It was just a dead run now, dodging falling rocks and jumping over opening cracks in the earth's crust. Virgil stumbled and Eve turned to help him, but he waved her on and she continued running. The man pushed himself from the ground and ran after them as fast as he could.

A giant rift was in front of them, and it was opening wider by the second. Autolycus and Eve cleared it with some effort, but by the time Virgil got there it was at least seven feet across. He hesitated, then took a few steps back and ran at the hole. Jumping at the very edge, he flew into the air. His feet waving around as if walking on air, he ducked and rolled as he barely hit the other side.

The three reached the door, and Virgil was knocked to the ground as an explosion sounded right behind him. He covered his head with his hands. Dust poured from the mouth of the cave and onto the three people, coating them with a sandy covering. As the air began to clear, Virgil looked up and saw--

The tip top of the sun setting on the horizon.

"Oh gods, Eve! Eve, where are you?!" called the man, sitting upright.

Eve was lying not too far off, but didn't move as Virgil called for her.

Virgil jumped up and ran over to her, keeping one eye on the setting sun. "Auto, help me get her up," sad the man, pulling Autolycus into a sitting position.

The older man held Eve up as Virgil fished the amulet out of his pocket. "Just put it around her neck, Boy," said Autolycus as he brushed some dust from his mustache. Virgil nodded and slipped the necklace onto Eve's neck just before the sun disappeared behind the horizon.

A bright flash of white light sent Virgil and Autolycus flying back a good ten feet. Virgil bolted back into an upright position as soon as breath returned to his lungs. His heart jumped into this throat as he ran over to his love. "Eve… Eve, answer me," he whispered, gently tapping her on the cheeks.

"Hey… ow, that hurts," mumbled Eve, her words slurred and barely understandable as if she were drunk.

Virgil grinned toothily, hugging her close. "It worked! It worked, Evie!"

"Gentle, gentle," reminded the woman, inhaling sharply at the pain running through her chest and back.

"Sorry," the man whispered, tears of happiness streaming down his face. He noticed the trickle of blood down her forehead. "You're bleeding… oh, gods, you're bleeding!" His smile widened as he wiped the blood away.

"And this is a good thing because…?" said Eve sarcastically. She smiled weakly.

"You better not make this a habit, 'cause I could get used to it, you know," warned Virgil, shrugging off her question. He grinned back.

Eve chuckled a bit, but softly because her lungs hurt with each breath. "Kiss me?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

SOME TIME LATER

"…so this toast is for two kiddies who have no earthly idea as to what they're getting themselves into-" Xena waited for her audience to stop chuckling "-we wish you good luck, eternal love, and a good life with each other. To Eve and Virgil!"

"To Eve and Virgil!" repeated the gathered people, downing their drinks. An indistinct chatter arose among the crowd as people began their feast.

Xena sat down next to Gabrielle with the help of her ivory cane and kissed the bard on the lips. She had come to terms with the fact that her knee was never going to be the same, and even enjoyed the way people tended to fuss over her when she was unable to perform tasks that required leg muscle. She also said it made her look more regal and respectable as a warrior.

Eve, her arm hooked around Virgil's, smiled as she drank from her cup and Virgil drank from his.

"Tell me again why you're drinking water? I had plans to get you drunk and horny tonight," whispered Virgil through his goblet, their eyes never parting.

"Because you don't need to get me drunk… I'm already horny," drawled Eve, causing Virgil to groan in frustration.

"How long do we have to stay?"

"Long enough to not seem rude."

Virgil sighed as they untangled their arms. "That's too long."

"Okay, we'll leave after dinner. I'm really hungry," said Eve, kissing him on the cheek. "Besides, we still have our honeymoon, our honeymoon after our honeymoon…"

"And so on and so forth to look forward to, am I right, Love?" finished Virgil heatedly, his excitement growing.

Eve pushed his lips back with her pinky finger. "Just keep your pants on until we get a room, okay?"

Virgil nodded, a pout resting on his lips as his kissed her knuckle.

"I have a surprise for you. Don't give me that face or I won't give it to you," warned Eve with an impish little grin.

"A surprise? What kind of surprise?"

Eve simply ignored him and chewed on some steak. At that point Callie came barreling into the room, her flower-girl dress blowing back behind her as she did. "Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy!" said the girl, who had just turned eleven, as she plopped into a seat between them. "Where did Gammy Xe keep her armies?"

Virgil, studied his daughter's face. A smile. A mischievous smile at that. That meant she was about to crack a joke. "Where?"

"Up her sleevies! Get it, arms and sleeves?" She broke into a fit of giggles.

Eve looked to her new husband and chuckled a bit. "When did you think that up?" she asked with a smile.

"When Gammy Xe said that she still had some tricks and two arms up her sleeves. She said it that time she and Grammy Gabby were playing jokes on each other."

Eve chuckled again as she remembered that little scenario. Xena and Gabrielle, still at war over the whole 'she-haunted-you-but-not-me' dispute, had began to play tricks on each other, ranging from Xena switching the pepper and salt to Gabrielle dropping mud bombs on Xena's head. It had ended when Gabrielle locked the bedroom door—restricting Xena to the couch.

It was the ultimate punishment for all those practical jokes.

Virgil laughed and kissed his daughter on the head. "Good thinking. Go play with Johnny before he gets bored, okay?"

Eve studied Johnny, who hugged Callie as she came over with eleven-year-old affection. She had a feeling that this was the boy who was going to steal her daughter. A hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality. "Oh, sorry, Baby."

"Dinar for your thoughts?" asked Virgil, nuzzling her neck.

"Just thinking 'bout nothing, really."

"Ah huh… I hope you were thinking about what I'm gonna do to you tonight," drawled the man, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Eve winced as her stomach protested to the pressure, but refused to let him see it.  "You'd just better be ready for what I am going to do to you tonight," she whispered.

Virgil groaned once again and pulled back, unable to control his hands. "I'm gonna… gonna go hang with the guys for awhile," he said in a high-pitched, nervous voice.

"Have fun."

The man scampered off before he did something in front of these people he would regret.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you tell him?" urged Acacia, Eve's best friend.

"No, of course I didn't tell him! Why ruin a good thing?"

"Because you can't ruin a good moment by adding more happiness to it, Eve! Girl, you really need to work on yo' skills," said the dark woman, sipping her ale.

Eve chuckled in spite of herself. "I just—didn't feel that it was the right time. I'll tell him before the day is over, I promise."

Acacia rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say," she mumbled under her breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You need a cold bucket of water, Virg'?" taunted Acacia's husband and Virgil's best friend, Celin, as the poet downed another mug of port.

Virgil glared at him. "Don't even start. You take a cold shower at least twice a day and you know it," retorted the taller man as he took a seat at the table.

"Got me there." He took a long swig from his goblet. "But I know that as soon as five guests are out the door you'll be locked inside a honeymoon suite before anyone knows you're gone."

"Actually, once Eve is done eating we'll be gone and screwing like bunnies!" corrected Virgil with a wide grin. Ooh, did he have plans.

The table of men laughed and hooted things like "Get 'er, Slugger!" and "Hope you can walk straight tomorrow!"

Virgil held up his mug and clinked it with some of the men. "I wish good luck to all the guys who want to find a woman that can use toys as well as Eve."

The men all laughed as they clinked their glasses, most of them saying "Amen to that!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil closed the door behind him, turning to Eve with a mischievous grin on his face. "Well, well, well, isn't this a nice scenario? You, me, locked alone in a room with one large bed and amazingly soundproof walls." He began to nuzzle her neck, arms wrapped around her waist.

Eve leaned into his touch, her body screaming for contact. His lips came down on hers in a probing, searing hot kiss that positively sent fire through their bodies.

"Virg'…" whispered Eve, her conscience taking hold of her.

"Don't speak…"

She pushed him away and gazed into his eyes. "Virgil, what would you say if I asked you what you think a wife is? Someone barefoot and pregnant?"

Virgil thoughtfully scratched his chin. "Well, this is an odd moment to bring this up. Uh… in a teasing sense, just so ya know, I'd say that you can wear shoes."

Eve put her sandals on. "There, I'm a wife."

"What're you talking about, we're marr-" He stopped as the realization hit him. "Did you just…? Do you mean…?"

Eve shrugged innocently, lacing her hands behind her back.

Virgil's eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I think he's coming around," said a husky voice.

"Hey, Virgil, wake up!" piped another all-too familiar one. "You alright?"

Virgil groaned and looked up into two sets of concerned blue eyes. "My head is going to explode," he announced miserably.

A mug was placed to his lips. "Drink this. It'll help with the headache," said Xena, dumping the bitter liquid down his throat.

"That's disgusting," protested the man, pushing the cup away but enjoying the fading of his headache. "What happened?" He slowly pulled himself into an upright position.

Eve kissed his cheek with a smile. "Two words: big surprise," she said, holding up two fingers then placing them to her stomach.

"You mean you're really…?" He fought the urge to faint again.

"Two months."

Virgil did some quick calculations in his head. "But you've only been alive for a month… that's impossible!"

Eve shrugged. "My family has a history of… 'mysterious' conceptions," she said, shooting an impish grin to her mother. Xena scoffed.

Virgil fell back against the pallet in disbelief. "Wow. I… I really don't know what to say."

"That's a first," mumbled Xena.

Eve waved her mother away and the warrior left the room, mumbling things to herself that Eve couldn't quite make out… Looking back at Virgil, Eve's eyes softened. "Are you angry?" she asked quietly, almost afraid of what his answer would be.

"No! No, of course not!" said Virgil, sitting up and pulling her to him. "Just really surprised. This is kind of sudden."

"Do you not want this child? I want it so bad!"

Virgil laughed and kissed her head. "So do I! I'm going to have a child, Eve! This is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me besides you and Callie!"

Eve smiled as she leaned into his embrace. "I'm glad… because I want to have so many more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What'd you do? Hit him?!" asked Xena mockingly as she poked the unconscious Virgil in the side with her toe.

"No! I just told him the facts!"

"Real smart, Evie. Tell a guy who just fainted because he freaked about one kid, then you tell him there's a chance of four or five!"

Eve shrugged. "Never thought of it that way."

Xena chuckled, then pulled an herb out of her pocket. "This oughtta wake him up…" she said, an evil smile spreading across her face.

"Mother, I don't think you should—"

The warrior ignored her daughter and ran the root under Virgil's nose. He immediately woke up coughing from the horrible smell. "Oh gods! What the hell is that?" he asked between coughs.

"It's a root from a tree located near some sulfur springs in Macedonia. Smells like crap, doesn't it?" asked Xena, her grin widening.

"Smells like shi-"

"What did I tell you about that word?" scolded Eve, stopping her husband.

Virgil looked at her and grew dizzy again. "More than one more?"

Eve nodded. "But don't you dare faint," she warned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I did notice you were kinda filling out, but I never said anything about it."

"Why?"

"Well, you women are… how should I put this? Edgy about that subject."

"I have raging hormones, Virgil, you better stop while you're ahead."

Virgil took his wife's advice and shut his mouth. They were lying in front of the fireplace, Virgil stretched out on his stomach with his latest masterpiece, The Aeneid. Eve had her head resting against the small of his back, reading his journal.

"Honey, this entry is… how can I put this? Different," she said, studying a wrinkled page with furrowed brows.

"Which one is it?" replied the man, scratching something out on his scroll.

"It's one you wrote the morning after we woke up in bed together, so to speak."

"We've done that a lot, my dear. I need specific dates," drawled Virgil with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. He put down his quill and scroll.

Eve chuckled as she rubbed her stomach idly. "It's the day I died. You wrote a little something in here about Callie and me."

Virgil craned his neck to look at her. "Read it out loud. Maybe I'll remember."

The woman rolled over next to him. "'Today Eve and I woke up in a position that has me taking cold shower after cold shower. I can't get it out of my head, the scene is haunting me. My heart is beating twice as fast as it should, and skipping beats three by three at that. I fear that I am falling for this wonderful angel with a broken wing.

"'But she couldn't feel the same way about me. I'm sure she has had wonderful lovers, and I could never be as much of a man as Verus or Ares. They were warriors. I, on the other hand, am a poet. She is a powerful, independent woman who knows her place in this world. I envy her centered personality; she always knows what she's doing and where she's going.

"'Yet, at the same time, I know she's just as lost as a small child. I've seen her stare up at the stars at night. I've heard her midnight confessions in her sleep… I've held her as she suffered through the tormenting nightmares of her past and the people she's killed. I hope that one day she'll find a center of peace that can save her from these horrific images and let her sleep peacefully.

"'And Callie. What a girl. She's as witty and quick as her mother, but with the softened heart of her father, I can tell. These two are already becoming my world, my life. Eve will probably try to send me away, but I can't leave. My emotions are running haywire; my mind is reeling with all these thoughts and dreams. I can barely concentrate on writing.

"'This angel… this angel with a broken wing… is capturing my very soul. There are times when I look at her and no words can describe my emotions. My tongue is rendered useless and a growing fire in my heart flames even higher, for the love I feel is beyond just me. I feel that man cannot truly fathom this love.

"'So, someday, I hope to look at these two and know they love me. For, as far as I can tell, I love them both will all my heart. Eve may not need me… but I'm beginning to need her. Callie may not need a father, but I'm beginning to need her as well. I dare not say I shall one day own the great Messenger, but I will say that one day I hope to look at Callie and say 'That's my Callisto.''"

Virgil averted his eyes as Eve turned to face him. "Virgil, look at me," she said quietly.

He turned to her, the tears in his eyes reflecting the tears in hers.

"I had no idea you felt that way. Virgil, that was beautiful. Gabrielle will be jealous," joked the woman, hugging him. "But you can always look at me and say I'm yours."

Virgil smiled tearfully and kissed her nose, rolling over so that he was halfway on top of her. "You should've heard what was going through my head when you died. I don't think I wrote it down, but it was kinda intense, considering the moment."

Eve chuckled as they kissed.

"Mommy? Daddy?" said a sleepy voice from the door.

The two adults rolled away from each other and looked up to find Callie rubbing her eyes in the doorway. "Hey, baby, what're you doing up so late?" asked Eve, opening her arms as an invitation for the girl to come snuggle with them.

"I couldn't sleep. I've been thinking about the whole 'new babies gig'," said Callie in a matter-of-factly tone. She settled herself between her parents.

Eve laughed and kissed her daughter's forehead as she climbed between her parents. "Oh yeah, and what have you come up with?"

"One sister is all I ask for. If you have five boys and one girl, that's fine with me." She looked up at them through innocent blue eyes.

Her mother laughed heartily. "Five boys, huh? Sounds like you don't have a problem with more than one little brother or sister."

"Nope. Just as long as I get my sister. And I want her to be as cute as Johnny's little sister."

Eve hugged her daughter tightly. "Oh, you're gonna be the death of me, Sweetie."

Callie giggled and settled herself against her mother's stomach. "The healer said I'd be able to feel it moving around. When's that?" Her eyes twinkled curiously.

"It'll be a few months yet, but I think you can still say 'hi'."

The girl smiled as she shifted towards Eve's slightly swollen stomach.

Eve looked up at Virgil, who had silent tears streaming down his face. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

Virgil looked down at Callie, then at Eve. "That's my Callisto."

Eve smiled and kissed him lightly. "Virgil, you hoped that one day you would own The Messenger… well, you do. You own my heart… my soul. I hope this love never ends."

The man smiled and hugged his family close, listening to what his daughter was whispering into Eve's midsection.

"…and so, when you come out, I'll show you Mommy and Daddy and Gammy and Grammy and…"

The last thing heard that night was the gentle laughing of a family finally coming together as a whole.

THE END