Mukashi no Koibito
5 : Life, again
Amongst the cherry trees they sat close to each other, looking every bit like lovers wanting a slice of isolation. Sanosuke was rarely aware that Tokyo could be beautiful like this. Megumi had brought him to the secluded area they were in now, a park of some sort he did not even know existed. She said a change of scenery would be good for him, and she was right. It was spring after all, traditionally a season of new beginnings, and it was time he stopped dwelling in the gray areas of the city at godforsaken hours of the night.
He gazed at her profile, noting her high nose and small mouth. Right now that mouth was pressed together in a thin line, as if its owner was in deep thought. In the weeks he had known her, Megumi could be pensive one moment and then in another she would be blithe and devastatingly flirtatious. It was as if sadness were the shadow of her happy moments.
"Sano."
She turned her head to look at him. She had never called him Sano before There was a hesitant look in her eyes, and she spent a few brief moments observing his features before she said slowly, "Do you believe in past lives?"
"Ah?" After being quiet for so long, was the onna sensei getting philosophical on him now? She should know better than that. This was Sagara Sanosuke sitting beside her!
"Ano…"
"Never mind."
Shimatta. He frowned. Frankly he had never given much thought to the subject, but at least he could attempt to sound vaguely intelligent.
"If you believe in reincarnation, then you want to believe in second chances."
The words came out sounding halfway convincing. He contemplated what he had just said. He supposed he neither believed nor disbelieved in the concept. If people had faith in such an occurrence, then it was because it made them feel good to think they had another chance at living. Yet if rebirth should happen, it would likely be at random. Only the rare, lucky ones would be granted such a blessing. It was his unwavering belief in the randomness of life that caused such a perspective. Life was plenty chance and little order, which made every good experience all the more precious.
Now he was curious about what Megumi believed. She was some woman; he never seemed to think very much when he was alone. He realized she was staring at him, the same way she stared at him that night at the restaurant. He could not quite remember what he had said then that triggered off this same look. It was something about the past and the present too, wasn't it? Like so many things between them, this was as intriguingly strange.
She took a deep breath, and then began to speak. "In Meiji Japan long ago, there existed a young woman. She was alone, and in this solitude she had known only sadness. Wishing to end the sorrow, she put a blade to her wrist. Yet she didn't die, because one man would not allow her to."
Her voice was soft and dulcet in tone. It was mesmerizing listening to her speak, and only when she stopped did he wonder what the point of her story was. She did not allow him time to ask as she continued, "Do you know how that man saved her life?"
"No."
"He grabbed the blade with his bare hand."
At those words, his breath caught suddenly. She reached for his right hand and raised it up so that the mark was visible to both of them.
"That woman was me, and that man was you."
It was his turn to stare at her. She released his hand and it fell lifelessly back into his lap. She gave him a wistful little smile, and then turned away from him to look into the distance again. She was waiting for him to say he believed her.
"How--"
"Suddenly I seem to have memories of the past."
She still could not bring herself to look at him, although her voice was steady with conviction. He worked through the logic numbly - once upon a time she had lived before, and so had he. So they shared a past, but what kind of past was it?
"What happened after I… after I caught the blade?" He was surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded.
"That's how I came into your life."
Then her voice quivered slightly as she pondered aloud, "I wonder what kind of terrible existence I had before you came for me, to want to kill myself." She turned around to look at him, and he saw a flicker of hope in her eyes. "So you believe me?"
He nodded slowly. The odds were against disbelief. The unusual intimacy between them, and that extraordinary first encounter. Then there was the peculiar scar on his palm and the dreams he used to have about it. Or maybe it was just that he wanted to believe her.
So many questions unanswered, but only one truth stood out. From when he saved her life, their fates became intertwined. There was something quixotic and exhilarating about the notion. He leaned over and kissed her briefly, for the first time. Then he kissed her again more intensely. For one so impatient and impulsive, he had taken long enough to make this move. It was as if all the time he was unconsciously waiting for this moment to happen. Her lips were alluringly soft, and she tasted and responded like how he expected she would.
"I saved you, and then?" He tilted her chin up towards him, unconsciously demanding an answer.
"Medetashi, medetashi."
She smiled, but her smile wavered. Leaning forward slightly, she kissed him again. There was something she was not telling him Yet if he pursued the matter, he would have to relinquish her kiss. He was just a man; the choice was obvious. She was so close to him that the scent of whatever soap she used was overwhelming, and her lips were pressed insistently against his. He wondered if this was more of an attempt to reassure herself of something, or a calculated ploy to disconcert his senses. Whichever her purpose was, she was doing exceedingly well in one of them.
When she pulled away from him and settled in his arms, Sanosuke was reluctant to spoil their idyll that he let the matter rest. The isolated park had no visible trappings of modernity, just seemingly unending expanse of greenery and sky. It was easy to forget they were in the Tokyo of now. Perhaps that was the real reason why she had brought him here. With time forgotten, this could very well be spring in old Meiji Japan; the cherry trees in full bloom and the sky a brilliant blue.
Medetashi, medetashi roughly means "How wonderful" and is something like the Japanese equivalent to "And they lived happily ever after".