Ha ha! I just had a whole packet of Jelly Beans! (Cori - Pig) (Shuttup) And here is the end result:
Teazer's bad luck day! Written by Chibi Teazer
Well, the day had started all right for Teazer. She had gotten up with her mate Mungojerrie, they had a very nice breakfast of tuna and cream, but Mungojerrie wouldn't eat the Tuna due to a large dinner the night before. Then Mungojerrie had gone off to try and find (and then chase around with it like a mad kit) one of the Christmas baubles that were all around the house due to the cats constantly chasing them. Yes indeed. It was Christmas Eve. The two cats really had no concept of this special day but they were delighted when the family left for a very long morning (from like 8 o'clock until about 1 o'clock) session of Church. Rumpleteazer, finding herself all alone (remember Jerrie had gone bauble hunting, and in case you were wondering he had found a metallic blue one and was wondering who the cat that was trapped inside it was) decided to have a nap (yes, I do realise she had just woken up but Cats sleep for like 18 hours a day alright!). She wandered into the living
room noticing with humour how the family had tried to protect it's latest acquisition, a large statue of Venus (Goddess of Love for those of you who don't know). It had been encased in a er... case of glass. Teazer just snorted at that. No security system in London could keep her and her mate out. She was too tired to call Jerrie so she crept over to the large fir tree that was in the living room. She climbed up it about halfway (please imagine that the tree is up to the roof {about 4 or 5 metres} and she is sorta at a tall human's head height) and promptly fell asleep. It was about half an hour after this when she was suddenly jerked awake by a sudden sinking feeling. She felt the tree starting to heat up. She looked around herself in fear as she saw flames licking the branches of the fir tree. It was more like a burning bush (See the bible) than a Christmas Fir. She screamed but was choked by the flames that were looming dangerously close to her. She called out for help
but realised that the tree was falling over as it's plastic bucket had melted away. Yowling in terror she held on for dear life as the tree crashed through one of the windows. She was suddenly suspended three metres above ground. When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet? She didn't want to find out. She dug her claws deeply into the branches. Naturally a window breaking would cause quite a bit of attention and obviously a cat hanging onto a burning tree would cause even more of a sensation. The fire brigade was called in and many bystanders watched as they tried to extinguish the fire. Teazer at this point wasn't letting anyone near her. She scratched and yowled at all the firemen so much that she didn't even realise that the flames had come close enough to her to singe her fur. Her ears were heavily burnt and her tail was well, bald. She was so frightened that she lost her `clawing' and fell into the rose bushes below. What bad luck. She now had a lot of
scratches to add to her battle scars. She was in so much pain that she didn't even realise she was being lifted onto the shoulders of her mate and carried very quickly away from the firemen to the junkyard.
IN THE JUNKYARD AN HOUR BEFORE THE AFOREMENTIONED OCCURANCE.
"Ahh!!" the magician's annoyance was evident as the scream pierced through the junkyard.
"What's the matter?" asked Victoria, coming to her (insert mate/brother here... not wanting to get angry people complaining) assistance.
"I think I just screwed up one of my tricks majorly..."
Looking very worried he looked around the junkyard.
"Did anyone have tuna and cream for their breakfast?" he asked the cats in the junkyard.
"Why?" asked Jemima
"Cause I've just accidentally sent a rather menacing spell to a Jellicle who had tuna and cream." He looked at the horror filled faces and quickly tacked on the end "By accident!!"
The horror filled faces suddenly turned to concern filled faces.
"Who have you bewitched?" asked Tantomile suddenly.
"I don't know!!" he said in frustration. "Whoever it is obviously isn't here at the moment. When they appear, and I'm sure you'll know who they are when they do show up, DO NOT tell them that I bewitched them! If they do know I probably won't be able to remove the spell." He obviously had some idea of who it was he had bewitched.
At that moment the Rum Tum Tugger came yelling into the junkyard.
"WHO DID IT!!!!!!!" he was yelling.
"Uh oh..." said Victoria.
"This was what I was afraid of...."
"You thought you bewitched Tugger??!" asked Tantomile.
"Nah, he's always like that." said Munkustrap being as un-Munkustrap as possible.
His screaming continued.
"WHO DID IT!!! WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID IT!!!!!"
Misto decided that this would be the best time to disappear. And so, with very little difficulty he disappeared. This left the other cats to try and calm down Tugger.
"What's the matter this time?" asked Demeter.
"You didn't eat tuna and cream for breakfast did you?"
"Huh?" asked a rather confused (but still angry) Tugger. "No I didn't have tuna and cream for breakfast. But someone has destroyed my belt and my collar!!!!"
They all looked at the things he was carrying and blinked. They looked like they had been dropped in a bottle of ink but otherwise they were fine. It was pretty obvious that it was one of the notorious duo's tricks.
"Misto! You can come out now! It wasn't him!" said Victoria
Suddenly his head appeared in mid-air.
"Are you sure?" he asked
"Positive."
The other cats stared in shock at the floating head. Tugger waved his arm around underneath the place where his head was floating.
"You aren't a Cheshire cat. Get yourself here properly!" said Tugger
He sort of stepped through the air as though it was made out of material and he could just part it like a curtain.
"Wow.. how did you do that??" asked Electra
"I just visited the seventh dimension." He said as if it was obvious.
"Hello?!? What about this??" said Tugger holding up his belt and collar. "Who did it??" he asked.
"Take a wild guess dear brother." Said Munkustrap looking up from a magazine he was reading. (I can just see Munkustrap reading a magazine like the financial review, can't you?) (Cori - Uh.. no.. not really seeing as he prefers reading the motorbike ones.) (Oh dear Lord your back again!?) (Cori - Evidently) (Well, I spose I can't make you go off and contemplate like again can I? So uh.. go and buy a tin of tuna.)
So Coricopat went off to buy a tin of Tuna.
At that instant the 'two' entered the junkyard.
"Jerrie! Teazer! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO BY BELT AND COLLAR!!!! Hey... what happened to Teazer?"
Jerrie carefully put her down on the junkyard floor.
"Uh oh..." said Misto and all the cats he had addressed earlier.
"She fell outa tha window."
"Well, that's not to bad." said Munkustrap.
"Whoile she was in tha Crismas tree."
"Well, at least she didn't just jump out the window" said Tugger. And for that comment he had the wind knocked out of him by Bombalurina.
"It wos an fiore."
"Uh oh... oh dear...." Said Misto trying to make a run for it.
"Oh no you don't. You aren't disappearing off into the seventh dimension mista!" said Tugger grabbing hold of his collar which succeeded in not only stopping his movement but stopping the flow of oxygen into his lungs.
"Misto?" said Jerrie "Wot 'ave ya dun to 'er?"
"Oh fishsticks."
(Cori - Fishsticks?) (Oh, go and buy Tugger a new belt and collar! Go on!) So Coricopat went to buy Tugger a new belt and collar.
At that instant Teazer decided to wake up out of her unconscious state.
"Oi jus' 'ad tha freakiast dream oi eva 'ad! An it woz so graphic!"
"Oh bloody hell, don't tell me it extends into dreamland to!" said Misto trying to make another escape but finding himself on the floor with Tugger on his stomach did not help. He now could not breath or move but he also couldn't speak either.
"AIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!" all the cats suddenly snapped their heads over to Teazer (causing great pain as they snapped them as it meant that they had 'snapped' their neck bones, you know how that hurts?) and dropped their mouths. She was being hit by pieces of hail about the size of peanuts (very big in relation to the size of a cat!) and she was the only one being hit!
"YES!!!" said Misto
"How is this good?" asked Jellylorum angrily.
"This means that there are only six more phases of the spell left!"
"SIX!?!?!?!?!?" all the cats said in unison.
He tried to hide, which is rather hard when you have a lion cat sitting on your stomach.
"Woi ~thwack *OWWWWWWWWW*~ the 'ell ~thwack *OWWWWWWWWW*~ is this 'appenin ~thwack *OWWWWWWWWW*~ to me?!?!?" said Teazer in between being hit.
All the cats looked at Misto. He just coloured and tried, again as unsuccessfully as the first time, to hide behind Tugger.
Suddenly the hail decided to stop.
"AHA!" said Misto. "The next part is about to begin."
"Aha?" asked Mungojerrie "'Ow can you bloody well aha at a toime loike this!?"
"What is the next part?" asked Jenny trying to take Jerrie's mind off things.
"rain" said all the cats in unison as they saw the huge thunder cloud appear over Teazer's head and start to rain on her.
(Cori - What the heck is wrong with you? They can't always say everything at the same time!) (They do in the video) (Cori - That's sooo different) (How? Oh never mind. Look, go to the pet shop and buy whatever you want *hands him her credit card*)
So Coricopat disappears in the general direction of 'pet shop'.
Just as Teazer had gotten over the rain someone from above decided to be even harsher and sent down lightning.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"Oh, good. That means that that is the fourth thing left. Only three more Teazer!" said Misto too happily.
"Only three ***ZAAAAPP*** AIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE more he says..."
Most of the cats by this time had moved away from Teazer. The only one who was with her was Jerrie. Faithful as always. (Have to throw in a bit of sap don't I?)
As suddenly as the rain and lightning had come it just stopped. The next thing Teazer knew was that she was very cold. All the cats just stared as the snow pelted down on her.
"M-mm--ii-isss--t- oo!! ***chatter*** yy--ouu-= aaa--aaa ree- sssss--oooo-dddeaaad!" (translation: Misto, ***chatter*** you are so dead.)
"Yeah yeah," he said before sighing and dropping his head back into the dust. "The last two will be the hardest to get through." He said from the floor. "But none of you are to laugh at her. It wouldn't be fair."
The snow gradually came to a halt. The next part Teazer will remember forever. It was as if her fur was falling out from her head, it never actually hurt, only the embarrassment hurt. All the cats tried to mask their laughter as they saw red gerberas start to grow out of Teazer's head.
"Misto, Oi swear wun dai ya gunna get ya come-uppance ova this!"
"Just wait, there's more." He said sarcastically.
The final phase of the spell decided to shoot up from her head. All the cats stared as two poles shot up from the ends of her ears. On one of the was a banner which unwound itself and attached itself to the other side. It read: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
"Git it offa moi head now before oi remove your hea' from ya shoulders." Said Teazer through gritted teeth.
Misto was allowed to get up and 'wave' his hands over her. All the flowers and the banner fell from her head onto the floor. Teazer turned in disgust.
"Oi'm gonna get you fa tha' one Mistoffelees. Mark moi words on tha'."
All the cats watched as she and Jerrie left the yard. Misto gulped. She had never called him by his full name before and not in front of the entire tribe. He was in trouble. Well and truly in trouble.
FAST FORWARD TWO WEEKS
Misto was still living his life on edge, waiting for Teazer's 'revenge'. He knew that as soon as she had gotten it over with they could be friends again. All she had to do was do it though. Misto was sitting on top of the old car one morning. (Cori - I'm baaaaaaaack!!! *hands CT the bill*) (189 DOLLARS!!!!!!!! Coricopat!!!!!!!!) (Cori - Eh? Sorri?) (*gritting teeth* guess what you're doing.) (Cori - You wouldn't?!) (Oh yes I damned well would) Coricopat decided to go and contemplate life (Cori - I despise you).
Misto was sitting on top of the old car one morning almost asleep. He suddenly felt something fall on top of him. Funny, it didn't seem like it was going to storm today? He felt droplets falling on him them suddenly a whole bucketful almost drowned him.
"Ha!" came 'her' voice from above.
He decided to take a run for it. But she had somehow managed to get all the cats in on the act. The kittens had little 'shockers' that she and Jerrie had nicked from somewhere. They ran around shocking him on the behind. But the best was yet to come. Jerrie was in charge of the 'hail'. He cornered Misto and shoved an ice-cream container full of ice over his head. Munkustrap had not wanted to get involved in this so he just sat, and tried to hide his laughter. Tugger had been put in charge of the flowers. He had somehow made a hat and glued gerberas onto it. He shoved it on Misto's head. At that point Misto felt a 'goopy' sensation.
"AHHHH!!! SUPERGLUE!!!!"
"Ha ha ha ha!!!"
And finally, the banner on the hat opened up with: HA! GOTCHA MISTO!! Written on it. Oh well, thought Misto. At least things will go back to normal now! And there's nothing at all to be done about that!
Teazer's bad luck day! Written by Chibi Teazer
Well, the day had started all right for Teazer. She had gotten up with her mate Mungojerrie, they had a very nice breakfast of tuna and cream, but Mungojerrie wouldn't eat the Tuna due to a large dinner the night before. Then Mungojerrie had gone off to try and find (and then chase around with it like a mad kit) one of the Christmas baubles that were all around the house due to the cats constantly chasing them. Yes indeed. It was Christmas Eve. The two cats really had no concept of this special day but they were delighted when the family left for a very long morning (from like 8 o'clock until about 1 o'clock) session of Church. Rumpleteazer, finding herself all alone (remember Jerrie had gone bauble hunting, and in case you were wondering he had found a metallic blue one and was wondering who the cat that was trapped inside it was) decided to have a nap (yes, I do realise she had just woken up but Cats sleep for like 18 hours a day alright!). She wandered into the living
room noticing with humour how the family had tried to protect it's latest acquisition, a large statue of Venus (Goddess of Love for those of you who don't know). It had been encased in a er... case of glass. Teazer just snorted at that. No security system in London could keep her and her mate out. She was too tired to call Jerrie so she crept over to the large fir tree that was in the living room. She climbed up it about halfway (please imagine that the tree is up to the roof {about 4 or 5 metres} and she is sorta at a tall human's head height) and promptly fell asleep. It was about half an hour after this when she was suddenly jerked awake by a sudden sinking feeling. She felt the tree starting to heat up. She looked around herself in fear as she saw flames licking the branches of the fir tree. It was more like a burning bush (See the bible) than a Christmas Fir. She screamed but was choked by the flames that were looming dangerously close to her. She called out for help
but realised that the tree was falling over as it's plastic bucket had melted away. Yowling in terror she held on for dear life as the tree crashed through one of the windows. She was suddenly suspended three metres above ground. When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet? She didn't want to find out. She dug her claws deeply into the branches. Naturally a window breaking would cause quite a bit of attention and obviously a cat hanging onto a burning tree would cause even more of a sensation. The fire brigade was called in and many bystanders watched as they tried to extinguish the fire. Teazer at this point wasn't letting anyone near her. She scratched and yowled at all the firemen so much that she didn't even realise that the flames had come close enough to her to singe her fur. Her ears were heavily burnt and her tail was well, bald. She was so frightened that she lost her `clawing' and fell into the rose bushes below. What bad luck. She now had a lot of
scratches to add to her battle scars. She was in so much pain that she didn't even realise she was being lifted onto the shoulders of her mate and carried very quickly away from the firemen to the junkyard.
IN THE JUNKYARD AN HOUR BEFORE THE AFOREMENTIONED OCCURANCE.
"Ahh!!" the magician's annoyance was evident as the scream pierced through the junkyard.
"What's the matter?" asked Victoria, coming to her (insert mate/brother here... not wanting to get angry people complaining) assistance.
"I think I just screwed up one of my tricks majorly..."
Looking very worried he looked around the junkyard.
"Did anyone have tuna and cream for their breakfast?" he asked the cats in the junkyard.
"Why?" asked Jemima
"Cause I've just accidentally sent a rather menacing spell to a Jellicle who had tuna and cream." He looked at the horror filled faces and quickly tacked on the end "By accident!!"
The horror filled faces suddenly turned to concern filled faces.
"Who have you bewitched?" asked Tantomile suddenly.
"I don't know!!" he said in frustration. "Whoever it is obviously isn't here at the moment. When they appear, and I'm sure you'll know who they are when they do show up, DO NOT tell them that I bewitched them! If they do know I probably won't be able to remove the spell." He obviously had some idea of who it was he had bewitched.
At that moment the Rum Tum Tugger came yelling into the junkyard.
"WHO DID IT!!!!!!!" he was yelling.
"Uh oh..." said Victoria.
"This was what I was afraid of...."
"You thought you bewitched Tugger??!" asked Tantomile.
"Nah, he's always like that." said Munkustrap being as un-Munkustrap as possible.
His screaming continued.
"WHO DID IT!!! WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID IT!!!!!"
Misto decided that this would be the best time to disappear. And so, with very little difficulty he disappeared. This left the other cats to try and calm down Tugger.
"What's the matter this time?" asked Demeter.
"You didn't eat tuna and cream for breakfast did you?"
"Huh?" asked a rather confused (but still angry) Tugger. "No I didn't have tuna and cream for breakfast. But someone has destroyed my belt and my collar!!!!"
They all looked at the things he was carrying and blinked. They looked like they had been dropped in a bottle of ink but otherwise they were fine. It was pretty obvious that it was one of the notorious duo's tricks.
"Misto! You can come out now! It wasn't him!" said Victoria
Suddenly his head appeared in mid-air.
"Are you sure?" he asked
"Positive."
The other cats stared in shock at the floating head. Tugger waved his arm around underneath the place where his head was floating.
"You aren't a Cheshire cat. Get yourself here properly!" said Tugger
He sort of stepped through the air as though it was made out of material and he could just part it like a curtain.
"Wow.. how did you do that??" asked Electra
"I just visited the seventh dimension." He said as if it was obvious.
"Hello?!? What about this??" said Tugger holding up his belt and collar. "Who did it??" he asked.
"Take a wild guess dear brother." Said Munkustrap looking up from a magazine he was reading. (I can just see Munkustrap reading a magazine like the financial review, can't you?) (Cori - Uh.. no.. not really seeing as he prefers reading the motorbike ones.) (Oh dear Lord your back again!?) (Cori - Evidently) (Well, I spose I can't make you go off and contemplate like again can I? So uh.. go and buy a tin of tuna.)
So Coricopat went off to buy a tin of Tuna.
At that instant the 'two' entered the junkyard.
"Jerrie! Teazer! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO BY BELT AND COLLAR!!!! Hey... what happened to Teazer?"
Jerrie carefully put her down on the junkyard floor.
"Uh oh..." said Misto and all the cats he had addressed earlier.
"She fell outa tha window."
"Well, that's not to bad." said Munkustrap.
"Whoile she was in tha Crismas tree."
"Well, at least she didn't just jump out the window" said Tugger. And for that comment he had the wind knocked out of him by Bombalurina.
"It wos an fiore."
"Uh oh... oh dear...." Said Misto trying to make a run for it.
"Oh no you don't. You aren't disappearing off into the seventh dimension mista!" said Tugger grabbing hold of his collar which succeeded in not only stopping his movement but stopping the flow of oxygen into his lungs.
"Misto?" said Jerrie "Wot 'ave ya dun to 'er?"
"Oh fishsticks."
(Cori - Fishsticks?) (Oh, go and buy Tugger a new belt and collar! Go on!) So Coricopat went to buy Tugger a new belt and collar.
At that instant Teazer decided to wake up out of her unconscious state.
"Oi jus' 'ad tha freakiast dream oi eva 'ad! An it woz so graphic!"
"Oh bloody hell, don't tell me it extends into dreamland to!" said Misto trying to make another escape but finding himself on the floor with Tugger on his stomach did not help. He now could not breath or move but he also couldn't speak either.
"AIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!" all the cats suddenly snapped their heads over to Teazer (causing great pain as they snapped them as it meant that they had 'snapped' their neck bones, you know how that hurts?) and dropped their mouths. She was being hit by pieces of hail about the size of peanuts (very big in relation to the size of a cat!) and she was the only one being hit!
"YES!!!" said Misto
"How is this good?" asked Jellylorum angrily.
"This means that there are only six more phases of the spell left!"
"SIX!?!?!?!?!?" all the cats said in unison.
He tried to hide, which is rather hard when you have a lion cat sitting on your stomach.
"Woi ~thwack *OWWWWWWWWW*~ the 'ell ~thwack *OWWWWWWWWW*~ is this 'appenin ~thwack *OWWWWWWWWW*~ to me?!?!?" said Teazer in between being hit.
All the cats looked at Misto. He just coloured and tried, again as unsuccessfully as the first time, to hide behind Tugger.
Suddenly the hail decided to stop.
"AHA!" said Misto. "The next part is about to begin."
"Aha?" asked Mungojerrie "'Ow can you bloody well aha at a toime loike this!?"
"What is the next part?" asked Jenny trying to take Jerrie's mind off things.
"rain" said all the cats in unison as they saw the huge thunder cloud appear over Teazer's head and start to rain on her.
(Cori - What the heck is wrong with you? They can't always say everything at the same time!) (They do in the video) (Cori - That's sooo different) (How? Oh never mind. Look, go to the pet shop and buy whatever you want *hands him her credit card*)
So Coricopat disappears in the general direction of 'pet shop'.
Just as Teazer had gotten over the rain someone from above decided to be even harsher and sent down lightning.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"Oh, good. That means that that is the fourth thing left. Only three more Teazer!" said Misto too happily.
"Only three ***ZAAAAPP*** AIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE more he says..."
Most of the cats by this time had moved away from Teazer. The only one who was with her was Jerrie. Faithful as always. (Have to throw in a bit of sap don't I?)
As suddenly as the rain and lightning had come it just stopped. The next thing Teazer knew was that she was very cold. All the cats just stared as the snow pelted down on her.
"M-mm--ii-isss--t- oo!! ***chatter*** yy--ouu-= aaa--aaa ree- sssss--oooo-dddeaaad!" (translation: Misto, ***chatter*** you are so dead.)
"Yeah yeah," he said before sighing and dropping his head back into the dust. "The last two will be the hardest to get through." He said from the floor. "But none of you are to laugh at her. It wouldn't be fair."
The snow gradually came to a halt. The next part Teazer will remember forever. It was as if her fur was falling out from her head, it never actually hurt, only the embarrassment hurt. All the cats tried to mask their laughter as they saw red gerberas start to grow out of Teazer's head.
"Misto, Oi swear wun dai ya gunna get ya come-uppance ova this!"
"Just wait, there's more." He said sarcastically.
The final phase of the spell decided to shoot up from her head. All the cats stared as two poles shot up from the ends of her ears. On one of the was a banner which unwound itself and attached itself to the other side. It read: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
"Git it offa moi head now before oi remove your hea' from ya shoulders." Said Teazer through gritted teeth.
Misto was allowed to get up and 'wave' his hands over her. All the flowers and the banner fell from her head onto the floor. Teazer turned in disgust.
"Oi'm gonna get you fa tha' one Mistoffelees. Mark moi words on tha'."
All the cats watched as she and Jerrie left the yard. Misto gulped. She had never called him by his full name before and not in front of the entire tribe. He was in trouble. Well and truly in trouble.
FAST FORWARD TWO WEEKS
Misto was still living his life on edge, waiting for Teazer's 'revenge'. He knew that as soon as she had gotten it over with they could be friends again. All she had to do was do it though. Misto was sitting on top of the old car one morning. (Cori - I'm baaaaaaaack!!! *hands CT the bill*) (189 DOLLARS!!!!!!!! Coricopat!!!!!!!!) (Cori - Eh? Sorri?) (*gritting teeth* guess what you're doing.) (Cori - You wouldn't?!) (Oh yes I damned well would) Coricopat decided to go and contemplate life (Cori - I despise you).
Misto was sitting on top of the old car one morning almost asleep. He suddenly felt something fall on top of him. Funny, it didn't seem like it was going to storm today? He felt droplets falling on him them suddenly a whole bucketful almost drowned him.
"Ha!" came 'her' voice from above.
He decided to take a run for it. But she had somehow managed to get all the cats in on the act. The kittens had little 'shockers' that she and Jerrie had nicked from somewhere. They ran around shocking him on the behind. But the best was yet to come. Jerrie was in charge of the 'hail'. He cornered Misto and shoved an ice-cream container full of ice over his head. Munkustrap had not wanted to get involved in this so he just sat, and tried to hide his laughter. Tugger had been put in charge of the flowers. He had somehow made a hat and glued gerberas onto it. He shoved it on Misto's head. At that point Misto felt a 'goopy' sensation.
"AHHHH!!! SUPERGLUE!!!!"
"Ha ha ha ha!!!"
And finally, the banner on the hat opened up with: HA! GOTCHA MISTO!! Written on it. Oh well, thought Misto. At least things will go back to normal now! And there's nothing at all to be done about that!