*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 3, Part 1
*~*~*~*~*
**This is all my fault.**
Taichi clutched his jacket shut with one hand; it was beginning to get cold at night. He kicked a pinecone that lay in the grass, and it sailed away in a perfect trajectory. He always liked kicking things. It made him feel better. He guessed it was because he loved soccer so much... it really affected his whole psyche. Too bad soccer didn't have the answers for shit like this. He kept waking, watching his feet.
**This is all my fault. I was way too unreasonable. Why the hell did I lose control? The guys don't deserve crap like that... and you know, you should never say something about someone that you wouldn't say to their face, right? Right. So I shouldn't have done that. I was just so mad...it was stupid. Stupid.** He kicked another pinecone. It shot out into the dark of night, out of his eyesight. **And... and I mean, he didn't mean anything by those things. No, he didn't mean to really hurt me. He said them because I was being so damn temperamental! He gets like that. I shouldn't have overreacted. And... and he CAN take care of himself. ...God dammit, Yama, why the hell do you say things that hurt like that when you don't really mean them?! Think before you talk!**
He kicked at another pinecone, and this one shattered upon impact with his foot.
He sighed. It was times like this he really missed Augumon. He always understood him... actually, it was usually he and Gabumon who first fixed things between he and Matt. He wondered what he'd say to him now.
The sound of rolling thunder filled his ears. He groaned and started walking again... but then he stopped. There were a lot of leaves on the ground suddenly. He looked up, wondering what the source was... and he almost gasped. After staring a moment, he closed his eyes, lowered his head, and chuckled; so this was where his feet led him.
This tree...
*~*~*~*~*~*
He couldn't see where Yamato was taking him... it was too dark, and the world was so blurry. They only ran. He had him by his wrist, and he was guiding him, guiding him through the rain and black and haziness... and he trusted this guide enough to follow him anywhere. He had to. He just ran as hard as he could, every step against the ground pounding his head in simultaneous rhythm. He was breathing hard, all breath control training forgotten, and he hissed in and out quickly, searing his lungs with fire.
Apparently, Yamato heard him.
"Here... we'll stop here. We need to rest." It was a lie; Yamato had plenty of breath left in him... but they stopped anyway. Then he took his hand and led him to a huge tree... its shape, black against the night, was classic in shape and incredible in size, and its branches spread out far past what was required for shelter.
Then Yamato suddenly pulled him down to the ground, sitting them against the tree's trunk. He gave a small yell and stared at him, startled. The blonde was breathing heavily from running so much... and he was upset.
He clenched his eyes. He didn't want to see him. Not like this...
"Taichi. Taichi, look at me."
He couldn't respond. But suddenly he felt strong, gripping hands around his shoulders, and they shook him hard, making his head throb.
"LOOK AT ME!"
He opened his eyes and looked at him, into his eyes.
The effect was strange. Yamato looked so angry at first, but then...after seeing him... he looked like he was in so much pain. His blue eyes shook, and his jaw slacked a little in a soft gasp.
Tai turned his head away again. He couldn't...
"TAICHI!"
He let out a sharp yell again, and snapped his head back to look at him in fright.
"What happened? What happened back there?" Yamato asked him, his voice firm.
There was burning behind his eyes. "You know."
"No, I don't. Tell me! Look at me!"
"I can't! I can't... get away from me!!"
He pushed him, but his vision was too blurry, and his body felt so weak. He pushed again, but Yamato only growled and caught him by his wrist. It was just like... back there...
"W... why?! Why can't I push you away?!" He heard himself yelling. "Why couldn't I push her away?!"
He realized he was crying, and he clenched his eyes again, letting new tears flow. He felt the grip tighten, and then loosen completely... so he snatched his hand away and tucked it around him, protecting it with his other arm, holding himself tightly. There was a moment of complete silence, and he truly felt completely helpless.
"...You're drunk."
That startled him. "Huh?" he managed, and he looked at Yamato, into his eyes again. He spoke, each word heavy and even, as if he was telling himself as well.
"I know you only had a sip, but... why security came... it wasn't because of the party being secret or they heard noise or anything. Someone spiked the drinks."
A flood of thoughts invaded his head, and soon he just... blanked. Yamato looked away from him, and he stared, waiting for something else. Eventually he spoke again, not looking at him.
"... We eventually figured it out, since... since everyone was acting so different, slurring their words, saying things...This is what it's like when you get drunk, Tai!" He shouted, looking at him again, hurting him with his torn face. "This is why I asked you not to drink! But... but how could I know...it was all even worse..." He looked down again, and Tai looked at Matt's hands; they were on his knees, clenching the fabric covering them.
He couldn't believe it. But... it all made sense. Why he wasn't seeing clear, why he felt so strange... why he couldn't fight back when he was usually so strong, not even against her...
"I... I couldn't fight back..."
Yamato looked at him again, and he turned completely away, so he was facing away from him.
"T... Tai...?"
"S... she took me away from everyone, and she started to... I said no, but she... she kept pressing, so I pushed away, but... I kept missing, or it wouldn't do anything... and it was all so blurry, and she wouldn't stop, and I... I got scared... I didn't know why I couldn't fight back..."
He swallowed, the tears falling faster now, his whole face hot with shame. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep steady. "Every time I tried, she would just force even more...she would grab and... it really hurt, Matt... everything she did hurt..." his voice choked, and he swallowed again. "You came just in time..."
There was nothing but the steady noise of the rain then, and he felt so cold... he was wet from the rain and his stomach felt sick, and his eyes were heavy and burning. The silence lasted for a long time.
"I... if it wasn't for you...she would have..."
"Stop it."
He blinked, his eyes opening a bit more. He made a small noise in surprise, but that was all the time he had.
"STOP IT!!" Yamato yelled, and he flung himself upon him from behind, wrapping his arms tightly around his own, hugging him close. Taichi's eyes widened completely and he gave a small gasp, but that was all he managed to do. He felt the heat of Matt's face against his own skin... he was crying, too.
"Stop it..." He heard him say. "Just shut up. It's all right. This isn't you. You're... you're stronger than this! You've always been so strong, Tai, so... so you'll be all right. Just... just stop this. It's all over now, Taichi. It's all over. It's okay."
He breathed in, choked for a moment, then gasped, tears falling anew, his face burning. "Y... Yamato..."
In response he hugged him even tighter, pulling him close against him... and Taichi had never felt so safe, so warm. He closed his eyes and sighed, letting himself cry easily against him.
"I'm here..."
They stayed there like that for a long time. He didn't want to move, and he knew that Matt didn't either; it was like the world was somewhere else, and they were the only people for miles on end. But it could only last so long.
"I... Ishida? Yagami?"
He looked up, and he felt that Yamato looked up too. There stood Professor Irumei, looking down at them in surprise; she clutched her trenchcoat shut with one hand, and she held a large black umbrella above herself with the other.
"W... what are you two doing out here? In this weather?"
He glanced at Matt, and then looked down. **We're in real trouble now.**
She knelt down in front of them and he looked up, expecting a harsh look. Instead, he got a surprised, upset one.
"Oh God... Taichi, you look terrible! Did... did you and Yamato come from that party I heard about?"
He winced, and he knew she understood. But again, he was surprised.
"Ch... there's no time... come with me. Both of you, get up now. Hurry, before anyone sees us."
Dumbfounded he obliged, receiving a little help from Yamato. He looked at him in thanks, and when he turned his attention to Irumei again she was looking around for anyone who might be around. When she found nobody she glanced at them to be certain of their attention, and then she walked away towards the in-campus teacher's apartments. He and Matt followed, though he really didn't know what to think.
When they reached her place she flicked the light on, hurting his eyes. She then muttered "Stay here," and she disappeared to the bedroom.
He looked at Yamato, saddened. This is it. We're in real trouble this time. We could get expelled. She's calling them right now. I'm sorry, Matt... it's my fault for suggesting we go in the first place.
Then a loud BANG! came from the room, startling him out of his mind and immediately followed by a "God DAMN it..." in English. He stared at the room, then stared at Yamato, who had been just as startled as he. But neither was prepared for what happened next... Professor Irumei emerged from the room, carrying two quilts in her arms.
"All right, take off as much as is decent, and give me everything to put in the dryer downstairs. Then you should wrap up in these blankets. That way I can keep a good conscience knowing I'm keeping you two safe and warm, while forcing you to stay here until I know exactly what the hell happened. Or at least 'til you have your clothes back."
He stared at her. She made a face.
"Surprised? You're right; I should be calling security right now. But if I did that, I'd be ruining the futures of two people who may not deserve it."
She suddenly frowned, and looked Taichi up and down.
"Your clothes..."
He stared at her, but then he frowned, and looked away. He felt sick again, but wished with all his heart he didn't sound as bad as he felt.
"They're torn," he managed. "You shouldn't worry about us."
"Yes I should. Off with it; you'll both get sick. I'll go in the other room now. When I come back, I want you both in the blankets and on that couch. Put your clothes on the counter."
Having said that she turned to leave, placing the blankets on said counter. At the doorway she turned around again, and this time her tone was without order or authority.
"I mean it. There's nothing to be afraid of. I may be a teacher, the campus shrink even, but believe it or not I'm a human being first. As long as you two are in here, you're safe."
She left at that, and Tai felt like he was going to cry again. He didn't move, but after a while he felt Yamato's hand on his shoulder.
"What should we do?" Yamato asked him.
He paused, and looked at the empty doorway again. But he knew without thinking about it what he wanted.
"She can help," he eventually whispered. "She will help. W... we can trust her."
"Yeah... I think so too," he replied. "You need any help?"
"No... I'm all right," He replied, and he knew he was worrying Yamato; his tone sounded lifeless.
After he had taken off his wet clothes and wrapped the quilt around himself, he immediately felt better; it was so comforting and warm compared to before. He looked to Yamato, and softly smiled at how relieved the blonde looked... but then started. Yamato's teeth were chattering. He had been so cold... and he had held him earlier.
That must have been freezing for him...
"...Are you all right?" Yamato asked, and he shook his head.
"It's nothing..."
"Are you done?" Professor Irumei called from the other room, and Yamato called "Yes!" in reply. They sat down, and Irumei sat in a chair facing them. She sighed deeply.
"Start from the beginning. Explain. What was this party you went to, why were you out in the rain underneath that tree at this ungodly hour, why do you smell like alcohol... And you'd better have a really good excuse for that one...and why do you look so horrible?"
He felt Yamato was glancing at him, and he returned the glance. Matt was asking him again, through his eyes... asking if he was sure it was all right. Taichi lowered his eyes and nodded, and he spoke for him... he could tell he didn't really feel like talking.
"Well... Taichi and I went to this Halloween party..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Tai sighed and leaned back against the trunk of the old giant, closing his eyes and feeling the wind blow through his hair. Ever since that night, he always felt calmer, safer, underneath this tree.
Yamato was right... he could take care of himself. He shouldn't have yelled... and after all, he had done so much for him. He at least deserved an apology... and the next time he saw him, he'd give him just that.
He curled up, pulling his legs to his chest and resting his head on his knees, letting the rolling thunder he heard in the distance soothe him.
He hoped Yamato wasn't still so mad at him.
*~*~*~*
Review, please... and get ready for part 2.
Chapter 3, Part 1
*~*~*~*~*
**This is all my fault.**
Taichi clutched his jacket shut with one hand; it was beginning to get cold at night. He kicked a pinecone that lay in the grass, and it sailed away in a perfect trajectory. He always liked kicking things. It made him feel better. He guessed it was because he loved soccer so much... it really affected his whole psyche. Too bad soccer didn't have the answers for shit like this. He kept waking, watching his feet.
**This is all my fault. I was way too unreasonable. Why the hell did I lose control? The guys don't deserve crap like that... and you know, you should never say something about someone that you wouldn't say to their face, right? Right. So I shouldn't have done that. I was just so mad...it was stupid. Stupid.** He kicked another pinecone. It shot out into the dark of night, out of his eyesight. **And... and I mean, he didn't mean anything by those things. No, he didn't mean to really hurt me. He said them because I was being so damn temperamental! He gets like that. I shouldn't have overreacted. And... and he CAN take care of himself. ...God dammit, Yama, why the hell do you say things that hurt like that when you don't really mean them?! Think before you talk!**
He kicked at another pinecone, and this one shattered upon impact with his foot.
He sighed. It was times like this he really missed Augumon. He always understood him... actually, it was usually he and Gabumon who first fixed things between he and Matt. He wondered what he'd say to him now.
The sound of rolling thunder filled his ears. He groaned and started walking again... but then he stopped. There were a lot of leaves on the ground suddenly. He looked up, wondering what the source was... and he almost gasped. After staring a moment, he closed his eyes, lowered his head, and chuckled; so this was where his feet led him.
This tree...
*~*~*~*~*~*
He couldn't see where Yamato was taking him... it was too dark, and the world was so blurry. They only ran. He had him by his wrist, and he was guiding him, guiding him through the rain and black and haziness... and he trusted this guide enough to follow him anywhere. He had to. He just ran as hard as he could, every step against the ground pounding his head in simultaneous rhythm. He was breathing hard, all breath control training forgotten, and he hissed in and out quickly, searing his lungs with fire.
Apparently, Yamato heard him.
"Here... we'll stop here. We need to rest." It was a lie; Yamato had plenty of breath left in him... but they stopped anyway. Then he took his hand and led him to a huge tree... its shape, black against the night, was classic in shape and incredible in size, and its branches spread out far past what was required for shelter.
Then Yamato suddenly pulled him down to the ground, sitting them against the tree's trunk. He gave a small yell and stared at him, startled. The blonde was breathing heavily from running so much... and he was upset.
He clenched his eyes. He didn't want to see him. Not like this...
"Taichi. Taichi, look at me."
He couldn't respond. But suddenly he felt strong, gripping hands around his shoulders, and they shook him hard, making his head throb.
"LOOK AT ME!"
He opened his eyes and looked at him, into his eyes.
The effect was strange. Yamato looked so angry at first, but then...after seeing him... he looked like he was in so much pain. His blue eyes shook, and his jaw slacked a little in a soft gasp.
Tai turned his head away again. He couldn't...
"TAICHI!"
He let out a sharp yell again, and snapped his head back to look at him in fright.
"What happened? What happened back there?" Yamato asked him, his voice firm.
There was burning behind his eyes. "You know."
"No, I don't. Tell me! Look at me!"
"I can't! I can't... get away from me!!"
He pushed him, but his vision was too blurry, and his body felt so weak. He pushed again, but Yamato only growled and caught him by his wrist. It was just like... back there...
"W... why?! Why can't I push you away?!" He heard himself yelling. "Why couldn't I push her away?!"
He realized he was crying, and he clenched his eyes again, letting new tears flow. He felt the grip tighten, and then loosen completely... so he snatched his hand away and tucked it around him, protecting it with his other arm, holding himself tightly. There was a moment of complete silence, and he truly felt completely helpless.
"...You're drunk."
That startled him. "Huh?" he managed, and he looked at Yamato, into his eyes again. He spoke, each word heavy and even, as if he was telling himself as well.
"I know you only had a sip, but... why security came... it wasn't because of the party being secret or they heard noise or anything. Someone spiked the drinks."
A flood of thoughts invaded his head, and soon he just... blanked. Yamato looked away from him, and he stared, waiting for something else. Eventually he spoke again, not looking at him.
"... We eventually figured it out, since... since everyone was acting so different, slurring their words, saying things...This is what it's like when you get drunk, Tai!" He shouted, looking at him again, hurting him with his torn face. "This is why I asked you not to drink! But... but how could I know...it was all even worse..." He looked down again, and Tai looked at Matt's hands; they were on his knees, clenching the fabric covering them.
He couldn't believe it. But... it all made sense. Why he wasn't seeing clear, why he felt so strange... why he couldn't fight back when he was usually so strong, not even against her...
"I... I couldn't fight back..."
Yamato looked at him again, and he turned completely away, so he was facing away from him.
"T... Tai...?"
"S... she took me away from everyone, and she started to... I said no, but she... she kept pressing, so I pushed away, but... I kept missing, or it wouldn't do anything... and it was all so blurry, and she wouldn't stop, and I... I got scared... I didn't know why I couldn't fight back..."
He swallowed, the tears falling faster now, his whole face hot with shame. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep steady. "Every time I tried, she would just force even more...she would grab and... it really hurt, Matt... everything she did hurt..." his voice choked, and he swallowed again. "You came just in time..."
There was nothing but the steady noise of the rain then, and he felt so cold... he was wet from the rain and his stomach felt sick, and his eyes were heavy and burning. The silence lasted for a long time.
"I... if it wasn't for you...she would have..."
"Stop it."
He blinked, his eyes opening a bit more. He made a small noise in surprise, but that was all the time he had.
"STOP IT!!" Yamato yelled, and he flung himself upon him from behind, wrapping his arms tightly around his own, hugging him close. Taichi's eyes widened completely and he gave a small gasp, but that was all he managed to do. He felt the heat of Matt's face against his own skin... he was crying, too.
"Stop it..." He heard him say. "Just shut up. It's all right. This isn't you. You're... you're stronger than this! You've always been so strong, Tai, so... so you'll be all right. Just... just stop this. It's all over now, Taichi. It's all over. It's okay."
He breathed in, choked for a moment, then gasped, tears falling anew, his face burning. "Y... Yamato..."
In response he hugged him even tighter, pulling him close against him... and Taichi had never felt so safe, so warm. He closed his eyes and sighed, letting himself cry easily against him.
"I'm here..."
They stayed there like that for a long time. He didn't want to move, and he knew that Matt didn't either; it was like the world was somewhere else, and they were the only people for miles on end. But it could only last so long.
"I... Ishida? Yagami?"
He looked up, and he felt that Yamato looked up too. There stood Professor Irumei, looking down at them in surprise; she clutched her trenchcoat shut with one hand, and she held a large black umbrella above herself with the other.
"W... what are you two doing out here? In this weather?"
He glanced at Matt, and then looked down. **We're in real trouble now.**
She knelt down in front of them and he looked up, expecting a harsh look. Instead, he got a surprised, upset one.
"Oh God... Taichi, you look terrible! Did... did you and Yamato come from that party I heard about?"
He winced, and he knew she understood. But again, he was surprised.
"Ch... there's no time... come with me. Both of you, get up now. Hurry, before anyone sees us."
Dumbfounded he obliged, receiving a little help from Yamato. He looked at him in thanks, and when he turned his attention to Irumei again she was looking around for anyone who might be around. When she found nobody she glanced at them to be certain of their attention, and then she walked away towards the in-campus teacher's apartments. He and Matt followed, though he really didn't know what to think.
When they reached her place she flicked the light on, hurting his eyes. She then muttered "Stay here," and she disappeared to the bedroom.
He looked at Yamato, saddened. This is it. We're in real trouble this time. We could get expelled. She's calling them right now. I'm sorry, Matt... it's my fault for suggesting we go in the first place.
Then a loud BANG! came from the room, startling him out of his mind and immediately followed by a "God DAMN it..." in English. He stared at the room, then stared at Yamato, who had been just as startled as he. But neither was prepared for what happened next... Professor Irumei emerged from the room, carrying two quilts in her arms.
"All right, take off as much as is decent, and give me everything to put in the dryer downstairs. Then you should wrap up in these blankets. That way I can keep a good conscience knowing I'm keeping you two safe and warm, while forcing you to stay here until I know exactly what the hell happened. Or at least 'til you have your clothes back."
He stared at her. She made a face.
"Surprised? You're right; I should be calling security right now. But if I did that, I'd be ruining the futures of two people who may not deserve it."
She suddenly frowned, and looked Taichi up and down.
"Your clothes..."
He stared at her, but then he frowned, and looked away. He felt sick again, but wished with all his heart he didn't sound as bad as he felt.
"They're torn," he managed. "You shouldn't worry about us."
"Yes I should. Off with it; you'll both get sick. I'll go in the other room now. When I come back, I want you both in the blankets and on that couch. Put your clothes on the counter."
Having said that she turned to leave, placing the blankets on said counter. At the doorway she turned around again, and this time her tone was without order or authority.
"I mean it. There's nothing to be afraid of. I may be a teacher, the campus shrink even, but believe it or not I'm a human being first. As long as you two are in here, you're safe."
She left at that, and Tai felt like he was going to cry again. He didn't move, but after a while he felt Yamato's hand on his shoulder.
"What should we do?" Yamato asked him.
He paused, and looked at the empty doorway again. But he knew without thinking about it what he wanted.
"She can help," he eventually whispered. "She will help. W... we can trust her."
"Yeah... I think so too," he replied. "You need any help?"
"No... I'm all right," He replied, and he knew he was worrying Yamato; his tone sounded lifeless.
After he had taken off his wet clothes and wrapped the quilt around himself, he immediately felt better; it was so comforting and warm compared to before. He looked to Yamato, and softly smiled at how relieved the blonde looked... but then started. Yamato's teeth were chattering. He had been so cold... and he had held him earlier.
That must have been freezing for him...
"...Are you all right?" Yamato asked, and he shook his head.
"It's nothing..."
"Are you done?" Professor Irumei called from the other room, and Yamato called "Yes!" in reply. They sat down, and Irumei sat in a chair facing them. She sighed deeply.
"Start from the beginning. Explain. What was this party you went to, why were you out in the rain underneath that tree at this ungodly hour, why do you smell like alcohol... And you'd better have a really good excuse for that one...and why do you look so horrible?"
He felt Yamato was glancing at him, and he returned the glance. Matt was asking him again, through his eyes... asking if he was sure it was all right. Taichi lowered his eyes and nodded, and he spoke for him... he could tell he didn't really feel like talking.
"Well... Taichi and I went to this Halloween party..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Tai sighed and leaned back against the trunk of the old giant, closing his eyes and feeling the wind blow through his hair. Ever since that night, he always felt calmer, safer, underneath this tree.
Yamato was right... he could take care of himself. He shouldn't have yelled... and after all, he had done so much for him. He at least deserved an apology... and the next time he saw him, he'd give him just that.
He curled up, pulling his legs to his chest and resting his head on his knees, letting the rolling thunder he heard in the distance soothe him.
He hoped Yamato wasn't still so mad at him.
*~*~*~*
Review, please... and get ready for part 2.