Alan and Raoul were talking, Gary was eavesdropping, and Jon was somewhere around them. I was the first to ride up to the palace, disinterested in their talk. Alan, with a temper to match anything, had actually gotten angry at Raoul somehow.
The courtyard was filled with baggage and servants scurried about. By the time Willow was back into his stall, everyone was talking with the newcomer. Jon looked just like him; his uncle, I remember. For some reason, Alan the carrot-top was backing away, looking ready to counter some form of attack. I looked in time to see Jon embrace a man that could be his older brother; it was, in reality, his uncle.
It was difficult to connect this Roger to the one from my childhood. The memory was dim; it was a few months beforeI connected the two.
Alan and I were the only two in the entire group that did not fall onto our heads whenever a flock of Court maidens passed. Sometimes it worried me; I'd never really been interested in girls, always preferring to spend my times with the other boys at the Manor. If my family ever discovered the root of that, I would lose face completely. Of course, my name is whispered in undertones in halls around Tortall- Alexander the Traitor, the Black Knight, things to frighten children with. The only thing my father had left to trust in was my ability with a knight, my manliness. He would die of shame if he ever found out.
Lerin was two years older than I was, wise in the ways of the world; I was an ignorant babe in the woods. He was a baron' second son, a scholar around Court, and we met at a function while I lurked in a corner, trying to avoid a pair of twittering debutantes. The first sight of him dazzled me- taller than I was, which was becoming rare, and pale and fair as a Player's image of Bacclus Starsworn. I had never heard of the idea of any other kind of like or love than usual- a man and a woman. I wonder, if Lerin had not somehow found me, if things would have fallen out. I would never have followed Roger, and I might still be part of Court.
Lerin and I were lovers for almost six months. That half year changed me- woke me up. The autumn he left was one of the worst periods of my life, as he was married to a wine merchant's eldest daughter. I only heard of him from then on, that he committed suicide shortly after Midwinter.
If Duke Gareth was aware of any of this, he kept quiet; such alliances at Court were best overlooked. I turned to anything to keep me occupied, poured my heart and soul into my lessons. Court could take away anything- anything! if they tried, but if I was the best, they were powerless to stop me.
The courtyard was filled with baggage and servants scurried about. By the time Willow was back into his stall, everyone was talking with the newcomer. Jon looked just like him; his uncle, I remember. For some reason, Alan the carrot-top was backing away, looking ready to counter some form of attack. I looked in time to see Jon embrace a man that could be his older brother; it was, in reality, his uncle.
It was difficult to connect this Roger to the one from my childhood. The memory was dim; it was a few months beforeI connected the two.
Alan and I were the only two in the entire group that did not fall onto our heads whenever a flock of Court maidens passed. Sometimes it worried me; I'd never really been interested in girls, always preferring to spend my times with the other boys at the Manor. If my family ever discovered the root of that, I would lose face completely. Of course, my name is whispered in undertones in halls around Tortall- Alexander the Traitor, the Black Knight, things to frighten children with. The only thing my father had left to trust in was my ability with a knight, my manliness. He would die of shame if he ever found out.
Lerin was two years older than I was, wise in the ways of the world; I was an ignorant babe in the woods. He was a baron' second son, a scholar around Court, and we met at a function while I lurked in a corner, trying to avoid a pair of twittering debutantes. The first sight of him dazzled me- taller than I was, which was becoming rare, and pale and fair as a Player's image of Bacclus Starsworn. I had never heard of the idea of any other kind of like or love than usual- a man and a woman. I wonder, if Lerin had not somehow found me, if things would have fallen out. I would never have followed Roger, and I might still be part of Court.
Lerin and I were lovers for almost six months. That half year changed me- woke me up. The autumn he left was one of the worst periods of my life, as he was married to a wine merchant's eldest daughter. I only heard of him from then on, that he committed suicide shortly after Midwinter.
If Duke Gareth was aware of any of this, he kept quiet; such alliances at Court were best overlooked. I turned to anything to keep me occupied, poured my heart and soul into my lessons. Court could take away anything- anything! if they tried, but if I was the best, they were powerless to stop me.