Padmé's Diary (CH5)
By obi's girl
Obi-Wan braced himself as he confronted his former Master. Lately, the two of them weren't as close as they used to be. Growing up, Qui-Gon, besides being his Master, was the only father he knew and his best friend. When he arrived, Obi-Wan had basically kept to himself, shutting out his former Master. He always made an excuse not to talk to him, but he couldn't avoid him anymore. If Qui-Gon knew about Padmé, he had to set the record straight before anything serious happened.
Yes, Obi-Wan? Qui-Gon asked, staring at the pool. Obi-Wan walked beside him, fidgeting. There's something you wanted to talk to me about.
He gasped, Master, I know you're probably disappointed in me...
Qui-Gon glared at him for a moment, then his face softened. I am disappointed, but not surprised. He smiled quaintly, I knew your fate was entwined with Padmé's. The bond between the two of you was strong, but I had no idea that bond would become love. And obviously, you do love Padmé.
Obi-Wan nodded, I do, and I will make this right, Master. I told Padmé, if she needs me to talk to Luke, I'll be there.
The older Master crossed his arms, scowling; She talked to you, then? He nodded yes. I told her not to. I told her it would easier to talk to Luke first, without bringing you into the situation.
Kenobi smiled, She is a stubborn woman. He glanced at the well again. Faintly, he could make out Padmé's small ghostly form, confronting Luke.
~~
If only she had known. Padmé bit her lip, facing her son. She flinched, feeling two sets of her eyes watching. The former Queen glanced around. No one else was in the room, except Luke, herself and R2. She smiled at the small droid. R2 was the only, besides, Obi-Wan and herself, to have survived through the Clone Wars and actually able to tell Luke and Leia what really happened. R2 was always very loyal and quick to help whenever. But now wasn't the time to chat with the little droid.
Her mind raced back to the evening before the birth of the twins. She and Obi-Wan were in his hut. Most of things were still in boxes and he had just placed a large trunk by the fireplace. Despite her condition, Padmé insisted to help him unpack. He reluctantly agreed. They talked very little while unpacking. Around noon, everything was set and Padmé presented him with her diary.
I want you to keep this for me, Obi-Wan, she stated, handing him the small brown book. It had a rusted gold seal on its leather cover.
Somehow, he expected it to be an electronic data pad, but knowing Padmé, and her background, she was brought to appreciate the small things. I can't take your diary, Padmé. You keep it. Besides, if it were in my possession, I might be tempted to read it. Try to find out if there anything in there about me.
She smiled, Oh, there are, Obi-wan Kenobi. But there's also a lot in here about Anakin, before he crossed over. That's another reason I want you to have this. I can't trust myself to keep it with me. What if I was ever found. Vader and Palpatine would search all through all my things, for any lead to you. I can't risk your life like that, Obi-Wan.
Padmé paused, biting her lip. She looked away briefly, You know you mean a lot to me, Obi-Wan. I would be lost without you. After you told me about Anakin, I almost killed myself. If you weren't there, I probably would have and the twins, too.
He touched her cheek, forcing her to look at him. Obi-Wan leaned over and kissed her. She smiled, hugging him tightly. Please, keep my diary Obi-Wan. If Luke's going to be staying here on Tatooine and you will train him, give this to him. But keep it until then; keep it safe...for me.
I'll keep it safe for both of us, Padmé. I promise.
~~
Luke cleared his throat, bringing the former Queen out of her reverie. She looked back at him. He looked so much like Anakin. Padmé closed her eyes briefly, and then opened them again. He still looked like him. "I didn't mean to interrupt your thoughts, but who are you and why are you here?
She didn't reply except stare back at him. He looked closer. She was very short. Brown hair and eyes. She had a royal heir about her, much like Leia. Leia! He concluded the woman before him had to be Padmé Naberrie, their mother. She nodded, as if reading his thoughts. Luke frowned, tears in his eyes. Luke, what is it?
"Why, mother? Why?"
Padmé huffed, kneeling down and smiling calmly, Because I had feelings for Obi-Wan long before Anakin Skywalker came into the picture. She paused, I knew as we got deeper into the Trade Federation crisis, we would remain friends long after and he would play a significant role in my life.
His frown deepened, "So, you never loved Anakin?"
The former Queen hesitated, They were both special to me, Luke. But Obi-Wan, Ben, he was there for me when I lost Ani. He knew the pain I was going through. He helped me heal.
Luke waved his hand, "That part I understand but what I read in the diary.... Did that really happen? I mean, did you really sleep with Obi-Wan?" She didn't reply. Luke huffed, slowly standing up with a deep scowl. "It's a simply question, mother. Did you sleep with Obi-Wan?"
Padmé stood up, I loved Obi-Wan. Yes, I won't deny that. I messed up. You don't have to tell me that, Luke. I did love Anakin, but that was before he decided he loved being evil more than he loved me. When he crossed over, he didn't know I was pregnant with you and Leia. Obi-Wan didn't know, until I told him.
"Still doesn't answer my question, mother?"
You weren't there! You don't know the pain Anakin caused me. Padmé paced around, looking down, mumbling, "The many nights I cried and contemplated suicide. She turned to him, shrugging, I would have if you and Leia weren't in the picture. The pain was too much for me; I couldn't stand it...
She crossed her middle-section, staring out the small man-made window, It was only that once. After Anakin crossed over, I didn't know how to react. I felt numb but at the same time, I was relieved because Obi-Wan and I didn't have to hide anymore.
NEXT
By obi's girl
Obi-Wan braced himself as he confronted his former Master. Lately, the two of them weren't as close as they used to be. Growing up, Qui-Gon, besides being his Master, was the only father he knew and his best friend. When he arrived, Obi-Wan had basically kept to himself, shutting out his former Master. He always made an excuse not to talk to him, but he couldn't avoid him anymore. If Qui-Gon knew about Padmé, he had to set the record straight before anything serious happened.
Yes, Obi-Wan? Qui-Gon asked, staring at the pool. Obi-Wan walked beside him, fidgeting. There's something you wanted to talk to me about.
He gasped, Master, I know you're probably disappointed in me...
Qui-Gon glared at him for a moment, then his face softened. I am disappointed, but not surprised. He smiled quaintly, I knew your fate was entwined with Padmé's. The bond between the two of you was strong, but I had no idea that bond would become love. And obviously, you do love Padmé.
Obi-Wan nodded, I do, and I will make this right, Master. I told Padmé, if she needs me to talk to Luke, I'll be there.
The older Master crossed his arms, scowling; She talked to you, then? He nodded yes. I told her not to. I told her it would easier to talk to Luke first, without bringing you into the situation.
Kenobi smiled, She is a stubborn woman. He glanced at the well again. Faintly, he could make out Padmé's small ghostly form, confronting Luke.
~~
If only she had known. Padmé bit her lip, facing her son. She flinched, feeling two sets of her eyes watching. The former Queen glanced around. No one else was in the room, except Luke, herself and R2. She smiled at the small droid. R2 was the only, besides, Obi-Wan and herself, to have survived through the Clone Wars and actually able to tell Luke and Leia what really happened. R2 was always very loyal and quick to help whenever. But now wasn't the time to chat with the little droid.
Her mind raced back to the evening before the birth of the twins. She and Obi-Wan were in his hut. Most of things were still in boxes and he had just placed a large trunk by the fireplace. Despite her condition, Padmé insisted to help him unpack. He reluctantly agreed. They talked very little while unpacking. Around noon, everything was set and Padmé presented him with her diary.
I want you to keep this for me, Obi-Wan, she stated, handing him the small brown book. It had a rusted gold seal on its leather cover.
Somehow, he expected it to be an electronic data pad, but knowing Padmé, and her background, she was brought to appreciate the small things. I can't take your diary, Padmé. You keep it. Besides, if it were in my possession, I might be tempted to read it. Try to find out if there anything in there about me.
She smiled, Oh, there are, Obi-wan Kenobi. But there's also a lot in here about Anakin, before he crossed over. That's another reason I want you to have this. I can't trust myself to keep it with me. What if I was ever found. Vader and Palpatine would search all through all my things, for any lead to you. I can't risk your life like that, Obi-Wan.
Padmé paused, biting her lip. She looked away briefly, You know you mean a lot to me, Obi-Wan. I would be lost without you. After you told me about Anakin, I almost killed myself. If you weren't there, I probably would have and the twins, too.
He touched her cheek, forcing her to look at him. Obi-Wan leaned over and kissed her. She smiled, hugging him tightly. Please, keep my diary Obi-Wan. If Luke's going to be staying here on Tatooine and you will train him, give this to him. But keep it until then; keep it safe...for me.
I'll keep it safe for both of us, Padmé. I promise.
~~
Luke cleared his throat, bringing the former Queen out of her reverie. She looked back at him. He looked so much like Anakin. Padmé closed her eyes briefly, and then opened them again. He still looked like him. "I didn't mean to interrupt your thoughts, but who are you and why are you here?
She didn't reply except stare back at him. He looked closer. She was very short. Brown hair and eyes. She had a royal heir about her, much like Leia. Leia! He concluded the woman before him had to be Padmé Naberrie, their mother. She nodded, as if reading his thoughts. Luke frowned, tears in his eyes. Luke, what is it?
"Why, mother? Why?"
Padmé huffed, kneeling down and smiling calmly, Because I had feelings for Obi-Wan long before Anakin Skywalker came into the picture. She paused, I knew as we got deeper into the Trade Federation crisis, we would remain friends long after and he would play a significant role in my life.
His frown deepened, "So, you never loved Anakin?"
The former Queen hesitated, They were both special to me, Luke. But Obi-Wan, Ben, he was there for me when I lost Ani. He knew the pain I was going through. He helped me heal.
Luke waved his hand, "That part I understand but what I read in the diary.... Did that really happen? I mean, did you really sleep with Obi-Wan?" She didn't reply. Luke huffed, slowly standing up with a deep scowl. "It's a simply question, mother. Did you sleep with Obi-Wan?"
Padmé stood up, I loved Obi-Wan. Yes, I won't deny that. I messed up. You don't have to tell me that, Luke. I did love Anakin, but that was before he decided he loved being evil more than he loved me. When he crossed over, he didn't know I was pregnant with you and Leia. Obi-Wan didn't know, until I told him.
"Still doesn't answer my question, mother?"
You weren't there! You don't know the pain Anakin caused me. Padmé paced around, looking down, mumbling, "The many nights I cried and contemplated suicide. She turned to him, shrugging, I would have if you and Leia weren't in the picture. The pain was too much for me; I couldn't stand it...
She crossed her middle-section, staring out the small man-made window, It was only that once. After Anakin crossed over, I didn't know how to react. I felt numb but at the same time, I was relieved because Obi-Wan and I didn't have to hide anymore.
NEXT